Inglourious Muddbloods Part 19 -- Starring Arthur the Apache
anonymous
December 8 2010, 04:22:44 UTC
“Maybe he’s a vampire,” said Ollivander, “but either way, you shouldn’t open the bag.
“Are you a vampire?” asked Luna.
“Wh-what?”
“It’s all right if you are, it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Luna. “It’s not so bad being a vampire as it used to be. There are a lot of opportunities for vampires now.”
“I’m not a vampire, I’m a Canada,” said Canada.
“He must be one of that gang that likes to kill those Snatchers,” said Ollivander, “They say they call each other from what countries they come from. So, they must have finally caught one… don’t open the bag, Luna. He’s probably dangerous.”
It was too late, Luna was already untying the straps at the top. “A Canada, you say? How curious. Like the country?”
“Luna!”
She rolled the top of the bag down as soon as the knot was undone, staring at the bruised face and split lip that greeted her from inside the bag.
“A Canada,” said Luna.
“Umm, yes,” said Canada. If possible, her eyes widened even more in delight.
“Oh, Mr. Ollivander, we’re sharing a dungeon with a Canada!”
“A Canada?” asked Ollivander, “You mean, the country?”
“Yes, exactly like the country! Oh, just look at him! An honest Canada! I never thought I’d see one!”
Canada stared up at the dungeon’s ceiling, past Luna’s head, in bemusement. He’d told quite a few mortals his true identity and he had never gotten this sort of reaction before.
Ollivander finally got up from his spot slumped on the floor and limped over to Luna and the ‘Canada.’
“He doesn’t look like a Canada to me,” said Ollivander, staring down at Canada critically. “Poor boy’s probably been victim to the crutacius one too many times.”
“But he looks exactly like a Canada! Haven’t you ever seen a map?”
“Yes dear, I’ve seen a map. Recent ones, even.”
“Then you can see it, can’t you? He looks just like a Canada, you can even see all the provinces and territories!”
It was only then that Canada realized that underneath the bag, he was completely naked, probably stripped during the autopsy or whatever wizards did to confirm their dead.
“Aah!” Canada pulled the bag up to his neck.
“It’s okay,” said Luna, “it’s not exactly a secret to anyone who looks at a map.”
“Luna!”
“It’s true though, isn’t it?” asked Luna, “Though, I can understand if you like your privacy.”
Canada blushed as he thought of the atlas he hid under his mattress. “Uhh…”
Re: Inglourious Muddbloods Part 19 -- Starring Arthur the Apache
anonymous
December 8 2010, 05:46:07 UTC
Ah-HA! I was wondering where he got off to!
Completely unrelated, but I wanted to share: Being unable to remember what Ollivander's voice sounded like, I'm imagining him as Wilfred Mott from Doctor Who.
Re: Inglourious Muddbloods Part 19 -- Starring Arthur the Apache
anonymous
December 8 2010, 05:50:53 UTC
Oh my goodness. Poor what's-his-face, indeed.
Luna is both the best and worst possible HP character to have come across a very naked, not-quite-dead Canada. Nice way of conveying her here, my dear.
“Are you a vampire?” asked Luna.
“Wh-what?”
“It’s all right if you are, it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Luna. “It’s not so bad being a vampire as it used to be. There are a lot of opportunities for vampires now.”
“I’m not a vampire, I’m a Canada,” said Canada.
“He must be one of that gang that likes to kill those Snatchers,” said Ollivander, “They say they call each other from what countries they come from. So, they must have finally caught one… don’t open the bag, Luna. He’s probably dangerous.”
It was too late, Luna was already untying the straps at the top. “A Canada, you say? How curious. Like the country?”
“Luna!”
She rolled the top of the bag down as soon as the knot was undone, staring at the bruised face and split lip that greeted her from inside the bag.
“A Canada,” said Luna.
“Umm, yes,” said Canada. If possible, her eyes widened even more in delight.
“Oh, Mr. Ollivander, we’re sharing a dungeon with a Canada!”
“A Canada?” asked Ollivander, “You mean, the country?”
“Yes, exactly like the country! Oh, just look at him! An honest Canada! I never thought I’d see one!”
Canada stared up at the dungeon’s ceiling, past Luna’s head, in bemusement. He’d told quite a few mortals his true identity and he had never gotten this sort of reaction before.
Ollivander finally got up from his spot slumped on the floor and limped over to Luna and the ‘Canada.’
“He doesn’t look like a Canada to me,” said Ollivander, staring down at Canada critically. “Poor boy’s probably been victim to the crutacius one too many times.”
“But he looks exactly like a Canada! Haven’t you ever seen a map?”
“Yes dear, I’ve seen a map. Recent ones, even.”
“Then you can see it, can’t you? He looks just like a Canada, you can even see all the provinces and territories!”
It was only then that Canada realized that underneath the bag, he was completely naked, probably stripped during the autopsy or whatever wizards did to confirm their dead.
“Aah!” Canada pulled the bag up to his neck.
“It’s okay,” said Luna, “it’s not exactly a secret to anyone who looks at a map.”
“Luna!”
“It’s true though, isn’t it?” asked Luna, “Though, I can understand if you like your privacy.”
Canada blushed as he thought of the atlas he hid under his mattress. “Uhh…”
Luna smiled. “That’s what I thought, Mr. Canada.”
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Completely unrelated, but I wanted to share: Being unable to remember what Ollivander's voice sounded like, I'm imagining him as Wilfred Mott from Doctor Who.
Reply
Luna is both the best and worst possible HP character to have come across a very naked, not-quite-dead Canada. Nice way of conveying her here, my dear.
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