Re: Multiple/Canada & Canada/Fem!America If U Seek Alfred 10/?
anonymous
October 15 2010, 04:49:36 UTC
Is he wearing chapstick? England’s lips were soft and warm pressed against his and he found it was far easier than he would’ve thought to forget about America and the rest of the nations now sitting down watching them. The kiss was a soft butterfly touch and England’s tongue soon swiped at his lips with a gentle tease. The wet tongue painted over his lips, urging them apart, and Canada complied somewhat breathless. He hadn’t realized that he’d even been maneuvered backwards until he felt the back of his thighs hit the long conference table. Canada shifted more comfortably, half seated on it, bringing himself down to England’s height. He felt those nimble fingers threading through his hair, twining around the fine blonde strands slowly tugging harder and harder in a delirious counterpoint to the languid motion of England’s tongue twining wet circles around his own.
Canada’s hands at his sides gripped the table hard; he remembered from past experience that England didn’t like him touching without permission. His knuckles were white and he felt the hard particle board scraping beneath his nails. England had nudged his legs apart with a knee as he’d settled himself, and he stood now, lower body angled so that his hip pressed against the other’s groin. He shifted and rocked against him, always pressing, always keeping what Canada truly wanted just out of his reach. Canada moaned softly, his breath hitching at the contact already dying to touch England’s cock and god, America knew how to fucking play him perfectly when he was a woman, why the fuck couldn’t he make him want it this badly the rest of the time?
That’s a good lad... England always enjoyed the sweet obedience that Canada had allowed him when they fucked. As docile as he seemed, he never truly acquiesced otherwise, always a biting remark or some other subtle defiance that he sometimes overlooked just to keep him guessing. Oh, but when England pulled that hair and ground against him and made those lovely little whimpers claw from his throat, he knew he had him. Fucking America liked to bandy about his size like it was the damn be all end all, but England knew that was only a small part of the equation. Keep watching, Alfred, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.
He felt Canada’s thigh squeeze around him as the young nation rocked against him. England slapped his thigh hard in chastisement without missing a beat and Canada sighed. “Please, daddy,” he whispered softly, his face flushed. England loved how deliciously he asked without even needing to be instructed. A sidelong glance to America showed the loudmouthed wanker was gaping at them stupidly as if he couldn’t quite process what was happening. “If you keep your mouth open like that, Alfred, you’re going to catch flies.” Austria said to him sitting back down taking out the novel he’s brought.
Canada barely heard him, hell, Canada didn’t even notice Germany come back into the room alone and take a seat attempting to piece his palm pilot back together. England had drawn him into a breathless open mouth twining of tongues and Canada could taste the mix of wintermint and tea. His attention had been focused more on the painful grip in his hair and the smell of vanilla and tobacco. He wanted to bury his face in England’s neck and breathe in deeply and drown in that fucking scent ‘cause god if he ever did have a father that’s exactly what he’d smell like. Just thinking about it made his dick even harder. You remembered I said that too, didn’t you Arthur? And here I thought you’d forgotten everything about me…
Re: Multiple/Canada & Canada/Fem!America If U Seek Alfred 10/?
anonymous
October 15 2010, 07:44:05 UTC
Oh lord, Alfred's "funstopper gland," Austria reading a novel while England's dominating Canada, England being taller than Canada... ♥ And even though I lol'd at Sealand, I cringed. Poor Canada, getting dub-conned by a 60 year-old. D:
Last update you said you didn't mind concrit, so I've some whited out: I do really enjoy this fic, so much, but sometimes the way the paragraphs are written is a little hard to read. A new paragraph should begin with each new speaker (and thinker), since that a) makes it clearer who's speaking, and b) makes the story less of a wall-of-text. I can give you some examples, if you'd like?
There are also a few minor grammar errors ("to" vs "too"), which a grammar checker in a word processor should be able to fix.
But seriously, I love this fic. There was an anon back on Cherry Pie who said it better than I am, but you're turning out some beautifully filthy work here. So much of the porn fic I've read is, idk, sanitised - come neatly disappears into throats or washcloths without being skicky/gooey/smearing on things, nothing ever has a smell, and god forbid the characters sweat. Thank you for this deliciously dirty piece of wonderful. ♥
So yeah, definitely looking forward to the next update! :D
Re: Multiple/Canada & Canada/Fem!America If U Seek Alfred 10/? author!anon
anonymous
October 15 2010, 13:40:10 UTC
Hi, and thanks for the feedback! I love writing dirty sex. It's fun.
I tend to forget things are easier to follow for me when I'm reading over since I know exactly what's going on. I think I might need to brush up on some of my basic grammar too (typos aside). The proper way to format speech/thoughts still gets me; I think I've read about 3 totally contradictory ways about how to do it *falls over*
If you could give an example or two that'd be great! It'd help me know what's what :)
Re: Multiple/Canada & Canada/Fem!America If U Seek Alfred 10/?
anonymous
October 16 2010, 07:14:05 UTC
New anon here. I just finished reading Cherry Pie. And Omg this is so fkn hot. I love how dirty you make everything. The kinkier the better.
Your characterization of everyone is so refreshingly different too. For example, America not always being such a well-intending puppy. I mean c'mon he's a dick. And I like that France isn't there. I know most people would have put him in, but it's just not very him. So yeah, you just got yourself a new loyal stalker follower.
And I'm extremely excited to see Al suffer. You go, Matt! Make him eat his words.
Re: Multiple/Canada & Canada/Fem!America If U Seek Alfred 10/?
anonymous
October 17 2010, 15:19:46 UTC
Gosh, I am loving this. And what made me squeel with joy is the fact that Austria is (or presumed to be) in a relationship with the two Gerbros. Oh how hot is that?? Everyone's reaction to Sealand jumping onto Canada was bloody hilarious. Love this!!
Canada’s hands at his sides gripped the table hard; he remembered from past experience that England didn’t like him touching without permission. His knuckles were white and he felt the hard particle board scraping beneath his nails. England had nudged his legs apart with a knee as he’d settled himself, and he stood now, lower body angled so that his hip pressed against the other’s groin. He shifted and rocked against him, always pressing, always keeping what Canada truly wanted just out of his reach. Canada moaned softly, his breath hitching at the contact already dying to touch England’s cock and god, America knew how to fucking play him perfectly when he was a woman, why the fuck couldn’t he make him want it this badly the rest of the time?
That’s a good lad... England always enjoyed the sweet obedience that Canada had allowed him when they fucked. As docile as he seemed, he never truly acquiesced otherwise, always a biting remark or some other subtle defiance that he sometimes overlooked just to keep him guessing. Oh, but when England pulled that hair and ground against him and made those lovely little whimpers claw from his throat, he knew he had him. Fucking America liked to bandy about his size like it was the damn be all end all, but England knew that was only a small part of the equation. Keep watching, Alfred, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.
He felt Canada’s thigh squeeze around him as the young nation rocked against him. England slapped his thigh hard in chastisement without missing a beat and Canada sighed.
“Please, daddy,” he whispered softly, his face flushed. England loved how deliciously he asked without even needing to be instructed. A sidelong glance to America showed the loudmouthed wanker was gaping at them stupidly as if he couldn’t quite process what was happening.
“If you keep your mouth open like that, Alfred, you’re going to catch flies.” Austria said to him sitting back down taking out the novel he’s brought.
Canada barely heard him, hell, Canada didn’t even notice Germany come back into the room alone and take a seat attempting to piece his palm pilot back together. England had drawn him into a breathless open mouth twining of tongues and Canada could taste the mix of wintermint and tea. His attention had been focused more on the painful grip in his hair and the smell of vanilla and tobacco. He wanted to bury his face in England’s neck and breathe in deeply and drown in that fucking scent ‘cause god if he ever did have a father that’s exactly what he’d smell like. Just thinking about it made his dick even harder. You remembered I said that too, didn’t you Arthur? And here I thought you’d forgotten everything about me…
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Last update you said you didn't mind concrit, so I've some whited out: I do really enjoy this fic, so much, but sometimes the way the paragraphs are written is a little hard to read. A new paragraph should begin with each new speaker (and thinker), since that a) makes it clearer who's speaking, and b) makes the story less of a wall-of-text. I can give you some examples, if you'd like?
There are also a few minor grammar errors ("to" vs "too"), which a grammar checker in a word processor should be able to fix.
But seriously, I love this fic. There was an anon back on Cherry Pie who said it better than I am, but you're turning out some beautifully filthy work here. So much of the porn fic I've read is, idk, sanitised - come neatly disappears into throats or washcloths without being skicky/gooey/smearing on things, nothing ever has a smell, and god forbid the characters sweat. Thank you for this deliciously dirty piece of wonderful. ♥
So yeah, definitely looking forward to the next update! :D
Reply
*facepalm*
Reply
I tend to forget things are easier to follow for me when I'm reading over since I know exactly what's going on. I think I might need to brush up on some of my basic grammar too (typos aside). The proper way to format speech/thoughts still gets me; I think I've read about 3 totally contradictory ways about how to do it *falls over*
If you could give an example or two that'd be great! It'd help me know what's what :)
Reply
Your characterization of everyone is so refreshingly different too. For example, America not always being such a well-intending puppy. I mean c'mon he's a dick. And I like that France isn't there. I know most people would have put him in, but it's just not very him. So yeah, you just got yourself a new loyal stalker follower.
And I'm extremely excited to see Al suffer. You go, Matt! Make him eat his words.
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