Let war be waged 2a
anonymous
October 14 2010, 17:31:30 UTC
Serbia got back home, eventually.
“Are you alright?” Macedonia said. The worry in his voice was comforting. Serbia had been concerned over how well Macedonia actually took his annexation, he should have been more enthusiastic about it. Serbia was certain he was must nicer than Bulgaria and Macedonia had even agreed in the past. “I heard rumors about how they kept you in Sarajevo by force.”
“Totally true,” Serbia said. “Thrown into a prison no less and they barely bothered to feed me. It's almost funny if it wasn't for others who got thrown into jail for being in close proximity and being Serbs too. They're not as immortal as me and I can't do shit about it.”
Macedonia winced.
“I'm sorry. We'll make you a lot of food, you look pretty ill you too.”
Kosovo greeted him with much less warmth, only asking politely if he was fine without looking too interested in the answer. It didn't matter. Serbia hugged Kosovo cheerfully, it made him happier just to look at him. How he lived here now was the proof of how Ottoman had been told off, how that glorious but ultimately failed first stand against those turks that been avenged. This time he didn't fail. Kosovo's presence reminded him of all those things.
“Enough, get off,” Kosovo grumbled. “We have a visitor.”
It was one of Russia's servants, the small twitchy one even Kosovo was tall enough to almost tower over.
“Hi Estonia.”
“Latvia,” the Baltic nation said.
“Oh, sorry, you two always look way too alike.”
“We look nothing alike.”
Serbia shrugged, of the Baltics only Lithuania was interesting, mostly for how he managed to go from Poland's henchman to Russia's not so secret crush. Just like Serbia he had a damn impressive domain once. But unlike Lithuania Serbia never planned to become a pet and property of his old enemies ever again.
“So, you have messages from Russia I assume? I hope my household were nice while I was unfairly held hostage.”
“Everyone has been very nice,” Lativa said, trembling just a little. It was very annoying. Russia had recommended shaking him until it stopped but it seemed counterintuitive. “Russia says you have to apologize properly to Austria for killing his archduke.”
“But I didn't kill him!”
“You're among allies now,” Kosovo said. “You can admit it.”
“If I had wanted to kill him I would be waving flags right now and tell Austria to go and fuck himself because Russia is on my side and I do whatever I want. Not try to cling on the shreds of my dignity after getting piled up on from every direction imaginable.”
“I guess you would,” Kosovo admitted.
“But I thought you liked the Black Hand?” Latvia said. “Aren't they the guys who set you up with your boss and cheered you on to get more territory and when you told Austria off again over that weird trading arguments over the pigs?”
Kosovo and Macedonia tried to gesture to Latvia to shut up. Serbia noticed and smiled.
“How do you survive in Russia's house?” he asked. “Russia would be a little bit upset if you said things like that to him. But I'm a lot nicer! I'm just going to tell you you're wrong. The Black Hand... It's complicated and I always end up embarrassed when we do something together. I hadn't planned more bonding activities with them.”
Like that assassination previously mentioned that didn't end up like he had imagined at all and left a very bad taste in his mouth. He had started to warm up to the idea of changing bosses to the guys who preferred Russia instead of basically being a underpaid minion of Austria. His enthusiasm had cooled considerably after how it turned out, hunting after his old boss all over the palace, the look of betrayal in his face, but it had been way too late to change his mind and-. No, better to not think about that. The nations who turned up their noses and proclaimed what an uncivilized thug he was had all done worse. It wasn't a bad change but it shouldn't have been that... messy.
Let war be waged 2b
anonymous
October 14 2010, 17:34:41 UTC
“You look pale,” Macedonia said. “Come, let's eat something before we talk more about this.”
“Russia still said you can't keep picking fights with Austria and have your secret terror organization kill off people you don't like,” Latvia said.
“Russia promised me he would help me against Austria. He told me we're brothers and fucking Bulgaria doesn't matter anymore and he wouldn't promise that if he didn't mean it! He wouldn't say that!”
Serbia took hold of Latvia's arm, forcing him to stay close and upright instead of running away as he so clearly wanted.
“Believe whatever you like, Russia was really upset with you this time!” Latvia said and tried to shake Serbia off. “He called you a little idiot.”
“There's a limit to how people can talk to me in my own house,” Serbia said and twisted Latvia's arm a bit harder.
Latvia whimpered, which made Serbia somewhat regret his outburst. He considered to let go as suddenly someone kicked him hard. He managed to evade the full force of the blow, but let go of the Baltic nation to hit back blindly.
Kosovo tumbled to the floor. Dammit. Serbia wished he reacted less on instinct sometimes.
“You got so much balls,” Serbia sighed, picking Kosovo up from the floor. “Why can't you ever use all that energy to my advantage?”
“You know he's right,” Macedonia said. “You can't assault the messenger because you don't like the message.”
“Russia adores you,” Latvia said, backing to a safe distance. His trembling was beginning to get worse too. “Even if he's angry now. I don't know why he likes you so much when you make so much trouble for us, he'll kill me if I mess up like this. Russia's bosses don't want to fight, none of us really want to, Prussia and Germany are scary and we're not ready. That's why he's mad at you, because we know we have to fight if Austria attacks you.”
“Sorry,” Serbia said. “Maybe it isn't all bad but you shouldn't spring bad news on people like that. You're way too blunt Estonia.”
“Latvia,” Kosovo reminded him.
***
Serbia realize he would have to accept whatever revenge Austria wanted to inflict on him, preferably with some dignity. Russia's shadow would keep the entire thing from going out of hand. Or so he thought until Austria's ultimatum arrived. He got so quiet Macedonia decided to get Montenegro instead of trying to deal with it on his own.
“Everyone is worried,” Montenegro said. “Probably think you're going to flip out on them.”
Serbia didn't give a shit about if his provinces were worried right now.
“I thought Austria and Hungary were out to humiliate me for making them and their stupid leaders and lack of security look as pathetic as it is,” Serbia said. His hands holding the letter were shaking slightly. “But they're going to destroy me. That's the kind of example they want to set.”
“What does it say?” Montenegro asked.
“Read it yourself,” Serbia said, throwing the thing to him.
“Too long, not that interested. You should go to war with them. Russia will come.”
“That's not exactly how it is,” Serbia said. “Yeah, Russia promised to help but now he's suddenly very vague and thinks I should agree to Austria's demands and- fuck!”
Montenegro poured Serbia some more brandy and offered it to him.
“What demands?”
“Pretty much, be our bitch Serbia or we'll crush you like a bug. I can't agree to that and I can't refuse either!”
Serbia finished the shot and filled his glass again, to the brim this time.
“If they take you I'm next,” Montenegro said. “I'll fight with you. We're not weak.”
“Thanks. But you know they're an empire and they're going to wipe me off the map if Russia pretends like he doesn't know us. Fuck him, I'm going to write letters to every single nation in the world and tell them exactly how much he sucks and I'm going to curse him with my dying breath.”
Let war be waged 2c
anonymous
October 14 2010, 17:37:11 UTC
“If we really need it Russia will come,” Montenegro said. “After everything he promised you he'll be a lacking stock forever if he doesn't.”
It wasn't the kind of argument Serbia wanted to hear, but better than nothing. Probably.
“I'll tell Austria we can work with this,” Serbia said. “I-I guess I have to bend over for him but there is a limit, I can't agree to basically be his satellite, I worked too hard and sacrificed too much for that... ”
***
Austria didn't answer his suggestion of he could do almost everything he wanted and probably some things he didn't suggest too. He and Hungary had their army on the move and Russia was still mobilizing. Serbia thought about how he kicked out Ottoman in the end and held on tight to Kosovo. If he survived that he would survive anything.
“Breathing is necessary,” Kosovo choked.
“Oh, sorry.”
Serbia wouldn't fail this time either. If Austria and Hungary wanted to wage war they would soon realize they were in way over their heads. Russia and France weren't that far away and Serbia wasn't that weak. Maybe he could even end up grabbing Bosnia and convince some of his other neighbors of how much nicer a Yugoslavia house would be.
But the reality of the situation made Serbia chew on his own hand, desperately trying to hide his fear.
I hope I'm correct about Macedonia and Kosovo living in Serbia's house at this point. Balkan borders are complicated and not all of it belongs to a specific area at the same time either but I decided to interpret it like that. After the Balkan wars right before WW1 Serbia kicked Bulgaria's ass, made Russia prefer him to Bulgaria and gained lots and lots of territory of Macedonia and Kosovo. Montenegro on the other hand is independent, interested in merging with Serbia but Ottoman stands in the way. Russia and France were allies at this point, as everyone probably knows. But France seems to have been pretty friendly with Serbia too, when Austria started to boycott pork from Serbia, Serbia pretty much said screw you Austria and started to trade with France instead. That's the pig thing Latvia referred to. And before that the pro-Austrian regent got murdered and replaced by a new pro-Russia regime. If the assassination of the archduke didn't start off that conflict I guess something else would have, it was bound to end badly and everyone knew it even then... On a random note, my spellcheck doesn't even recognize Kosovo as a real word...
Re: Let war be waged 2c
anonymous
October 14 2010, 19:54:54 UTC
CRYPTOSERBIAN SPELLCHECK
Russia had recommended shaking him until it stopped but it seemed counterintuitive. Every once in a while, you write a line that makes me literally laugh out loud and then feel very guilty for laughing immediately afterwards. This was one - mostly because I imagined Russia sending his satellites around with small instruction notes glued on their chests like IKEA furniture.
I know he's sort of an ass (hell, we had a recent demonstration here) but I can't help but feel for Serbia sometimes. Also I love how everybody assumes he personally organized the murder or something, because that's just the sort of thing Serbia would do. Even Montenegro, who's sort of his brother/cousin/on-off husband.
And oh, the things the nations argue on. (France always liked Serbia, IIRC. Even in recent times, there was a lot of fuss some time ago about Cannes giving the Golden Palm to Kusturiza's Underground, which is a beautiful movie, but is also in fact somewhat filoserbian - since it came out very little after the war, people thought it was a bit unsensible. I think a part of it is a carry over from the fact that they like Russia, too).
Re: Let war be waged 2c
anonymous
October 15 2010, 05:57:59 UTC
I...oh my God. Seeing this fill is a dream come true. I've bemoaned the improbability of ever seeing WWI fic based on the beginning of the war for ages now. I never thought I'd see it happen. I'd have tackled it myself if I wasn't too shaky on the prospect of building OCs, but this is excellent and I don't find that too pressing on my to do list anymore now. Thank you so much for writing this.
“Are you alright?” Macedonia said. The worry in his voice was comforting. Serbia had been concerned over how well Macedonia actually took his annexation, he should have been more enthusiastic about it. Serbia was certain he was must nicer than Bulgaria and Macedonia had even agreed in the past. “I heard rumors about how they kept you in Sarajevo by force.”
“Totally true,” Serbia said. “Thrown into a prison no less and they barely bothered to feed me. It's almost funny if it wasn't for others who got thrown into jail for being in close proximity and being Serbs too. They're not as immortal as me and I can't do shit about it.”
Macedonia winced.
“I'm sorry. We'll make you a lot of food, you look pretty ill you too.”
Kosovo greeted him with much less warmth, only asking politely if he was fine without looking too interested in the answer. It didn't matter. Serbia hugged Kosovo cheerfully, it made him happier just to look at him. How he lived here now was the proof of how Ottoman had been told off, how that glorious but ultimately failed first stand against those turks that been avenged. This time he didn't fail. Kosovo's presence reminded him of all those things.
“Enough, get off,” Kosovo grumbled. “We have a visitor.”
It was one of Russia's servants, the small twitchy one even Kosovo was tall enough to almost tower over.
“Hi Estonia.”
“Latvia,” the Baltic nation said.
“Oh, sorry, you two always look way too alike.”
“We look nothing alike.”
Serbia shrugged, of the Baltics only Lithuania was interesting, mostly for how he managed to go from Poland's henchman to Russia's not so secret crush. Just like Serbia he had a damn impressive domain once. But unlike Lithuania Serbia never planned to become a pet and property of his old enemies ever again.
“So, you have messages from Russia I assume? I hope my household were nice while I was unfairly held hostage.”
“Everyone has been very nice,” Lativa said, trembling just a little. It was very annoying. Russia had recommended shaking him until it stopped but it seemed counterintuitive. “Russia says you have to apologize properly to Austria for killing his archduke.”
“But I didn't kill him!”
“You're among allies now,” Kosovo said. “You can admit it.”
“If I had wanted to kill him I would be waving flags right now and tell Austria to go and fuck himself because Russia is on my side and I do whatever I want. Not try to cling on the shreds of my dignity after getting piled up on from every direction imaginable.”
“I guess you would,” Kosovo admitted.
“But I thought you liked the Black Hand?” Latvia said. “Aren't they the guys who set you up with your boss and cheered you on to get more territory and when you told Austria off again over that weird trading arguments over the pigs?”
Kosovo and Macedonia tried to gesture to Latvia to shut up. Serbia noticed and smiled.
“How do you survive in Russia's house?” he asked. “Russia would be a little bit upset if you said things like that to him. But I'm a lot nicer! I'm just going to tell you you're wrong. The Black Hand... It's complicated and I always end up embarrassed when we do something together. I hadn't planned more bonding activities with them.”
Like that assassination previously mentioned that didn't end up like he had imagined at all and left a very bad taste in his mouth. He had started to warm up to the idea of changing bosses to the guys who preferred Russia instead of basically being a underpaid minion of Austria. His enthusiasm had cooled considerably after how it turned out, hunting after his old boss all over the palace, the look of betrayal in his face, but it had been way too late to change his mind and-. No, better to not think about that. The nations who turned up their noses and proclaimed what an uncivilized thug he was had all done worse. It wasn't a bad change but it shouldn't have been that... messy.
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“Russia still said you can't keep picking fights with Austria and have your secret terror organization kill off people you don't like,” Latvia said.
“Russia promised me he would help me against Austria. He told me we're brothers and fucking Bulgaria doesn't matter anymore and he wouldn't promise that if he didn't mean it! He wouldn't say that!”
Serbia took hold of Latvia's arm, forcing him to stay close and upright instead of running away as he so clearly wanted.
“Believe whatever you like, Russia was really upset with you this time!” Latvia said and tried to shake Serbia off. “He called you a little idiot.”
“There's a limit to how people can talk to me in my own house,” Serbia said and twisted Latvia's arm a bit harder.
Latvia whimpered, which made Serbia somewhat regret his outburst. He considered to let go as suddenly someone kicked him hard. He managed to evade the full force of the blow, but let go of the Baltic nation to hit back blindly.
Kosovo tumbled to the floor. Dammit. Serbia wished he reacted less on instinct sometimes.
“You got so much balls,” Serbia sighed, picking Kosovo up from the floor. “Why can't you ever use all that energy to my advantage?”
“You know he's right,” Macedonia said. “You can't assault the messenger because you don't like the message.”
“Russia adores you,” Latvia said, backing to a safe distance. His trembling was beginning to get worse too. “Even if he's angry now. I don't know why he likes you so much when you make so much trouble for us, he'll kill me if I mess up like this. Russia's bosses don't want to fight, none of us really want to, Prussia and Germany are scary and we're not ready. That's why he's mad at you, because we know we have to fight if Austria attacks you.”
“Sorry,” Serbia said. “Maybe it isn't all bad but you shouldn't spring bad news on people like that. You're way too blunt Estonia.”
“Latvia,” Kosovo reminded him.
***
Serbia realize he would have to accept whatever revenge Austria wanted to inflict on him, preferably with some dignity. Russia's shadow would keep the entire thing from going out of hand. Or so he thought until Austria's ultimatum arrived. He got so quiet Macedonia decided to get Montenegro instead of trying to deal with it on his own.
“Everyone is worried,” Montenegro said. “Probably think you're going to flip out on them.”
Serbia didn't give a shit about if his provinces were worried right now.
“I thought Austria and Hungary were out to humiliate me for making them and their stupid leaders and lack of security look as pathetic as it is,” Serbia said. His hands holding the letter were shaking slightly. “But they're going to destroy me. That's the kind of example they want to set.”
“What does it say?” Montenegro asked.
“Read it yourself,” Serbia said, throwing the thing to him.
“Too long, not that interested. You should go to war with them. Russia will come.”
“That's not exactly how it is,” Serbia said. “Yeah, Russia promised to help but now he's suddenly very vague and thinks I should agree to Austria's demands and- fuck!”
Montenegro poured Serbia some more brandy and offered it to him.
“What demands?”
“Pretty much, be our bitch Serbia or we'll crush you like a bug. I can't agree to that and I can't refuse either!”
Serbia finished the shot and filled his glass again, to the brim this time.
“If they take you I'm next,” Montenegro said. “I'll fight with you. We're not weak.”
“Thanks. But you know they're an empire and they're going to wipe me off the map if Russia pretends like he doesn't know us. Fuck him, I'm going to write letters to every single nation in the world and tell them exactly how much he sucks and I'm going to curse him with my dying breath.”
Reply
It wasn't the kind of argument Serbia wanted to hear, but better than nothing. Probably.
“I'll tell Austria we can work with this,” Serbia said. “I-I guess I have to bend over for him but there is a limit, I can't agree to basically be his satellite, I worked too hard and sacrificed too much for that... ”
***
Austria didn't answer his suggestion of he could do almost everything he wanted and probably some things he didn't suggest too. He and Hungary had their army on the move and Russia was still mobilizing. Serbia thought about how he kicked out Ottoman in the end and held on tight to Kosovo. If he survived that he would survive anything.
“Breathing is necessary,” Kosovo choked.
“Oh, sorry.”
Serbia wouldn't fail this time either. If Austria and Hungary wanted to wage war they would soon realize they were in way over their heads. Russia and France weren't that far away and Serbia wasn't that weak. Maybe he could even end up grabbing Bosnia and convince some of his other neighbors of how much nicer a Yugoslavia house would be.
But the reality of the situation made Serbia chew on his own hand, desperately trying to hide his fear.
I hope I'm correct about Macedonia and Kosovo living in Serbia's house at this point. Balkan borders are complicated and not all of it belongs to a specific area at the same time either but I decided to interpret it like that. After the Balkan wars right before WW1 Serbia kicked Bulgaria's ass, made Russia prefer him to Bulgaria and gained lots and lots of territory of Macedonia and Kosovo. Montenegro on the other hand is independent, interested in merging with Serbia but Ottoman stands in the way.
Russia and France were allies at this point, as everyone probably knows. But France seems to have been pretty friendly with Serbia too, when Austria started to boycott pork from Serbia, Serbia pretty much said screw you Austria and started to trade with France instead. That's the pig thing Latvia referred to. And before that the pro-Austrian regent got murdered and replaced by a new pro-Russia regime. If the assassination of the archduke didn't start off that conflict I guess something else would have, it was bound to end badly and everyone knew it even then...
On a random note, my spellcheck doesn't even recognize Kosovo as a real word...
Reply
Russia had recommended shaking him until it stopped but it seemed counterintuitive.
Every once in a while, you write a line that makes me literally laugh out loud and then feel very guilty for laughing immediately afterwards. This was one - mostly because I imagined Russia sending his satellites around with small instruction notes glued on their chests like IKEA furniture.
I know he's sort of an ass (hell, we had a recent demonstration here) but I can't help but feel for Serbia sometimes. Also I love how everybody assumes he personally organized the murder or something, because that's just the sort of thing Serbia would do. Even Montenegro, who's sort of his brother/cousin/on-off husband.
And oh, the things the nations argue on. (France always liked Serbia, IIRC. Even in recent times, there was a lot of fuss some time ago about Cannes giving the Golden Palm to Kusturiza's Underground, which is a beautiful movie, but is also in fact somewhat filoserbian - since it came out very little after the war, people thought it was a bit unsensible. I think a part of it is a carry over from the fact that they like Russia, too).
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