Re: Messin' With Russia (2a/?)
anonymous
October 2 2010, 20:02:44 UTC
Hello! This took longer than I expected because of 1)Real life and 2)this chapter being deliberately obtuse as ideas for the next chapter pounded down my brain. But I have persevered, and I give you this! Thingy! -- “Doo-doot, doo-doot, doo-doot-doo-doot-doo-doot…” America sang softly as he quietly picked the lock.
“That is totally unstealthy,” Poland whispered.
“Hey, I work better with music,” America hissed back.
“At least it wasn’t Mission Impossible,” Poland grumbled.
America flashed him a smile as the door clicked open. “Please. Pink Panther is for stealth. Sneaky jewel thief and whatnot.”
“I totally thought that movie was about the detective?” Poland inquired as they slipped inside, clutching his sack a bit closer.
“Well, yeah, but the Pink Panther is the thief. So by singing his theme, you get like plus five stealth,” America whispered.
“And like a negative ten stealth if anyone has ears,” Poland argued.
America rolled his eyes, before holding up his hand, clenched into a fist.
Poland cautiously peered around America and the corner just in time to see a bit of cloth whisk around the end of the corridor. Poland looked at America, head cocked, and jerked his thumb at the corridor. Who was that?
America shrugged. Don’t know.
Poland circled his hands around each other, before gesturing back to the corridor, and then to the door. Should we keep going? Or leave?
America thought for a second, before pointing to the corridor, placing a finger against his lips. We keep going. Quietly.
The two nations crept through the halls like thieves. Except they most certainly weren’t thieves, because they had had a lengthily discussion on the morality of this expedition before deciding that they were, in point of fact, cultural renovators. See? Fancy sounding job title and all.
Finally, they came to a large door.
America pointed. This it?
Poland nodded, before placing a finger to his lips, then clasping his hands together and placing them underneath his head. This is the right room. Be quiet, Russia will be sleeping.
America rolled his eyes. He held up his hands, contorted into claws, and made a fearsome snarl before apparently passing out, head lolling to the side, eyes fluttering, mouth agape. Please, Russia’s like a bear. Real scary, but once he’s out he’s out.
Re: Messin' With Russia (2a/?)
anonymous
October 2 2010, 20:07:01 UTC
A short while later
The two thie- renovators quietly slipped back through the house, attempting to stifle giggles. Their raid of renovation had gone off marvelously, with their sacks just as full as they had been when they snuck in.
Finally, Poland couldn’t stifle his giggles any longer, and leaned against the nearest wall, laughing quietly.
“Oh. My. God. This is the bestest idea ever!” he whispered, still trying to keep slightly quiet.
“I know, right?” America asked, huge grin covering his face.
“I so cannot wait until tomorrow!” Poland snickered.
“Well, hey, since we’re here…” America looked about speculatively. “Any other cultural renovations you think we should carry out?”
Poland quirked a devious eyebrow. “Well…” he began expansively.
Now, Russia was staying in a rather nice house. This was because whenever the world meeting was held in America, the nations seemed to have the hardest time finding a hotel for them all to stay in, especially after various incidents. Such as the strange occurrence wherein a rather drunk England attempt to exercise First Amendment rights to their fullest (leading to general despair and amusement), a very angry Switzerland worked very hard to master the Second Amendment rights, and general questioning of the Fifth Amendment in who could kill Prussia again and not be convicted. And all around various citizens wondered exactly why the Twenty-First Amendment had been passed. Or why there was no Twenty-Eight Amendment prohibiting the sale of all narcotics, opiates, hallucinogens, or anything in that category except for medicinal purpose, in which case those crazy people were clearly in need.
Therefore, the nations now stayed in houses whenever they in the U.S., graciously provided by their host. Of course, every nation had decorated their homes to varying levels so as to feel more comfortable. Russia did not believe in spending a lot of money on a house he wouldn’t be in very much, in a country that he did not like very much.
So as Poland looked about, he noticed that the house was about as cheerful as the great Russian classics. His grin slowly widened.
“I think…” he began.
His cunning plan which could not possibly fail was abruptly cut off by a soft sound. Instantly, Poland and America were back to back, casting about wary glances.
“What was that?” America squeaked.
“Dunno,” Poland muttered, scanning the hallway.
“It sounded like a ghost,” America whispered fearfully.
Poland was about to respond when someone beat him to it.
“Brother,” a hoarse voice called.
America and Poland froze.
“Brother,” the voice called again, and soft footsteps could be heard.
The renovators found themselves edging towards the window.
“Is that you, brother?” the voice inquired. “Why are you up? Do you miss me? Who is that with you?”
At the end of the corridor, a pale figure with billowing hair appeared.
“Ghost,” America whimpered.
Poland, being more versed what could commonly be found in the habitat of a Russia, more correctly guessed that it was Belarus, and promptly shoved America out the window before jumping himself. It wasn’t much fun to pull a prank- er, help enhance someone culturally- if you were too dead to see the results.
And my idea was so good, Poland thought wistfully. Ah, well. Tomorrow was a new day. One that promised to be fun.
Authorial Notes
anonymous
October 2 2010, 20:20:43 UTC
First off, that second bit was part b. I am brilliant, yes. Second off, the Pink Panther was a film series focusing on a bumbing detective called Inspector Clouseau. In the first movie, he squares off against a famous jewel theif attempting to steal a diamond called the Pink Panther. Even if it's technically the diamond and not the thief that's called that (sorry America), the themesong is still darn awesome and sneaky-ish. Ah, Constitutional Amendments. The First garuntees the right to freedom of speech, press, religion, petition, and assembly. Second garuntees the right to bear arms. Fifth denies double jeopardy, meaning you can't be tried for the same crime twice. Twenty First ended Prohibition, which means we all get our alcohol back. And ignore such things as diplomatic immunity and what not. Repeat after me: They do not exist until they can be used for comedy or drama. The great Russian classics seem extremely dark and depressing. Or so I've heard. My education has been lacking in this matter. I feel like I took a cop-out using Belarus, but... I really needed them out of that house. Or, well, wanted them out. It should make for more fun in the long run. Hopefully. Next up, I attempt to deprive everyone of their sanity! Including you, dear reader. Thank you and see you later!
Re: Authorial Notes
anonymous
October 8 2010, 21:06:57 UTC
Oh yeah there was a movie called "The Pink Panther". I never saw the movie, but I like the cartoon - with an actual pink panther doing weird stuff. OTL I'm strange, I know.
I absolutely love America and Poland together! In my comment for the first part, I called them the freedom!pairing because out of all the nations, they're probably the most obsessive about it. Not to offend anyone, of course, but America practically runs his country based on it and Poland would sacrifice basic safety for it (what with all those uprisings that had no chance of succeeding).
I really enjoy seeing updates for this story. It makes me giggle with glee XD
About your author notes: The great Russian classics are...kind of disturbing. I would agree with the dark and depressing characterization, but more dark and less depressing. Although, I've only read Crime and Punishment, so I'm basing my comment off that alone. (It's a really interesting book, by the way. The main character reminds me of Russia A LOT. Like, I suspect Himaruya read the book and based some of Russia's character off him. They both commit horrific crimes while believing it's the right thing, and are both good at heart.)
And don't worry about Belarus. Even if it was a cop-out, as you say, I've read worse deux ex machina (hopefully I didn't spell that wrong) before. This reason is at least believable, and rather likely. She's just that creepy.
Haha, look at my super-long comment XD I had this sitting on my computer for days because I forgot it was here... so sorry! Especially because no one else's commented. I hope you haven't gotten discouraged because of it!
--
“Doo-doot, doo-doot, doo-doot-doo-doot-doo-doot…” America sang softly as he quietly picked the lock.
“That is totally unstealthy,” Poland whispered.
“Hey, I work better with music,” America hissed back.
“At least it wasn’t Mission Impossible,” Poland grumbled.
America flashed him a smile as the door clicked open. “Please. Pink Panther is for stealth. Sneaky jewel thief and whatnot.”
“I totally thought that movie was about the detective?” Poland inquired as they slipped inside, clutching his sack a bit closer.
“Well, yeah, but the Pink Panther is the thief. So by singing his theme, you get like plus five stealth,” America whispered.
“And like a negative ten stealth if anyone has ears,” Poland argued.
America rolled his eyes, before holding up his hand, clenched into a fist.
Poland cautiously peered around America and the corner just in time to see a bit of cloth whisk around the end of the corridor. Poland looked at America, head cocked, and jerked his thumb at the corridor. Who was that?
America shrugged. Don’t know.
Poland circled his hands around each other, before gesturing back to the corridor, and then to the door. Should we keep going? Or leave?
America thought for a second, before pointing to the corridor, placing a finger against his lips. We keep going. Quietly.
The two nations crept through the halls like thieves. Except they most certainly weren’t thieves, because they had had a lengthily discussion on the morality of this expedition before deciding that they were, in point of fact, cultural renovators. See? Fancy sounding job title and all.
Finally, they came to a large door.
America pointed. This it?
Poland nodded, before placing a finger to his lips, then clasping his hands together and placing them underneath his head. This is the right room. Be quiet, Russia will be sleeping.
America rolled his eyes. He held up his hands, contorted into claws, and made a fearsome snarl before apparently passing out, head lolling to the side, eyes fluttering, mouth agape. Please, Russia’s like a bear. Real scary, but once he’s out he’s out.
Poland stifled a giggle.
America grinned, and gently opened the door.
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The two thie- renovators quietly slipped back through the house, attempting to stifle giggles. Their raid of renovation had gone off marvelously, with their sacks just as full as they had been when they snuck in.
Finally, Poland couldn’t stifle his giggles any longer, and leaned against the nearest wall, laughing quietly.
“Oh. My. God. This is the bestest idea ever!” he whispered, still trying to keep slightly quiet.
“I know, right?” America asked, huge grin covering his face.
“I so cannot wait until tomorrow!” Poland snickered.
“Well, hey, since we’re here…” America looked about speculatively. “Any other cultural renovations you think we should carry out?”
Poland quirked a devious eyebrow. “Well…” he began expansively.
Now, Russia was staying in a rather nice house. This was because whenever the world meeting was held in America, the nations seemed to have the hardest time finding a hotel for them all to stay in, especially after various incidents. Such as the strange occurrence wherein a rather drunk England attempt to exercise First Amendment rights to their fullest (leading to general despair and amusement), a very angry Switzerland worked very hard to master the Second Amendment rights, and general questioning of the Fifth Amendment in who could kill Prussia again and not be convicted. And all around various citizens wondered exactly why the Twenty-First Amendment had been passed. Or why there was no Twenty-Eight Amendment prohibiting the sale of all narcotics, opiates, hallucinogens, or anything in that category except for medicinal purpose, in which case those crazy people were clearly in need.
Therefore, the nations now stayed in houses whenever they in the U.S., graciously provided by their host. Of course, every nation had decorated their homes to varying levels so as to feel more comfortable. Russia did not believe in spending a lot of money on a house he wouldn’t be in very much, in a country that he did not like very much.
So as Poland looked about, he noticed that the house was about as cheerful as the great Russian classics. His grin slowly widened.
“I think…” he began.
His cunning plan which could not possibly fail was abruptly cut off by a soft sound. Instantly, Poland and America were back to back, casting about wary glances.
“What was that?” America squeaked.
“Dunno,” Poland muttered, scanning the hallway.
“It sounded like a ghost,” America whispered fearfully.
Poland was about to respond when someone beat him to it.
“Brother,” a hoarse voice called.
America and Poland froze.
“Brother,” the voice called again, and soft footsteps could be heard.
The renovators found themselves edging towards the window.
“Is that you, brother?” the voice inquired. “Why are you up? Do you miss me? Who is that with you?”
At the end of the corridor, a pale figure with billowing hair appeared.
“Ghost,” America whimpered.
Poland, being more versed what could commonly be found in the habitat of a Russia, more correctly guessed that it was Belarus, and promptly shoved America out the window before jumping himself. It wasn’t much fun to pull a prank- er, help enhance someone culturally- if you were too dead to see the results.
And my idea was so good, Poland thought wistfully. Ah, well. Tomorrow was a new day. One that promised to be fun.
Reply
Second off, the Pink Panther was a film series focusing on a bumbing detective called Inspector Clouseau. In the first movie, he squares off against a famous jewel theif attempting to steal a diamond called the Pink Panther. Even if it's technically the diamond and not the thief that's called that (sorry America), the themesong is still darn awesome and sneaky-ish.
Ah, Constitutional Amendments. The First garuntees the right to freedom of speech, press, religion, petition, and assembly. Second garuntees the right to bear arms. Fifth denies double jeopardy, meaning you can't be tried for the same crime twice. Twenty First ended Prohibition, which means we all get our alcohol back. And ignore such things as diplomatic immunity and what not. Repeat after me: They do not exist until they can be used for comedy or drama.
The great Russian classics seem extremely dark and depressing. Or so I've heard. My education has been lacking in this matter.
I feel like I took a cop-out using Belarus, but... I really needed them out of that house. Or, well, wanted them out. It should make for more fun in the long run. Hopefully.
Next up, I attempt to deprive everyone of their sanity! Including you, dear reader. Thank you and see you later!
Reply
I absolutely love America and Poland together! In my comment for the first part, I called them the freedom!pairing because out of all the nations, they're probably the most obsessive about it. Not to offend anyone, of course, but America practically runs his country based on it and Poland would sacrifice basic safety for it (what with all those uprisings that had no chance of succeeding).
I really enjoy seeing updates for this story. It makes me giggle with glee XD
About your author notes: The great Russian classics are...kind of disturbing. I would agree with the dark and depressing characterization, but more dark and less depressing. Although, I've only read Crime and Punishment, so I'm basing my comment off that alone. (It's a really interesting book, by the way. The main character reminds me of Russia A LOT. Like, I suspect Himaruya read the book and based some of Russia's character off him. They both commit horrific crimes while believing it's the right thing, and are both good at heart.)
And don't worry about Belarus. Even if it was a cop-out, as you say, I've read worse deux ex machina (hopefully I didn't spell that wrong) before. This reason is at least believable, and rather likely. She's just that creepy.
Haha, look at my super-long comment XD I had this sitting on my computer for days because I forgot it was here... so sorry! Especially because no one else's commented. I hope you haven't gotten discouraged because of it!
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