This is a spur-of-the-moment fill based on what might happen AFTER Arthur embarks on a "get America jealous, that will lead to hatesex" program.
***
I’m an idiot.
I mean, yeah, I guess everyone’s been telling me so for ages, but it only really matters if I say it, right? So I’ll say it. I’m an idiot. I really am.
But I’m learning.
In a way I guess it’s a good thing that England’s suddenly gotten less obvious about sleeping around. (Because he was hiding it a lot better before. I don’t think he’s gotten any more slutty promiscuous - just a lot less subtle. Maybe it’s because he actually has less partners than before? He must have been absolutely pimping during his empire days.) If he hadn’t, I might have gone on holding onto stupid Hollywood-fairytale-romance-novel type daydreams like “one true love” and “saving myself” and “monogamy” and “forever” and shit. Fucking hell, how lame must I have looked?
We’re fucking Nations, not people.
Heh.
I didn’t mean it that way, but now that I look at it, I guess that’s exactly right, ain’t it? We’re Nations - not people. And I’m talking about fucking Nations, not people. (Wonder if I can? Never tried it.)
We’re Nations and we’re made up of people. Lots of different people. We can’t love
(...fuck, that sounded so teenage-drama-llama. Next thing you know I’ll be writing poetry in a journal and painting my nails black.)
And now that I think about it, it’s wrong. We can love other Nations, 'cos some of our people do. And some of our people will love people from other Nations. And we can hate them at the same time. And we can be mostly indifferent to them because most of our people will never really have anything to do with other Nations. Brief visits, if that.
I’m across the Atlantic. My business is my States. How can England really touch me? How could he feel anything - how could any of us feel anything - that’s pure? Something that’s not just a faint echo from other people, and pulled the other way by the feelings of yet more people?
There’s no Arthur. There’s only England. There’s no Alfred really, just me - us, I guess - America. Those names - I’ve been fooling myself - those are just names we use to make things easier.
And I’ve been stupid. China’s been a lot nicer ever since I sucked him off. My Boss was pleased with me. And that’s what I should be doing, making things easier for him. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy being with China either. If I sleep with Germany, I bet I could along with the EU better, and he wouldn’t be so scary as France....not that France is scary, okay, just that everyone knows how...good he is, and I’ve only just started getting into this game. I’m sure I can catch up though.
Mexico. Yeah, I should see about Mexico. Brazil too.
This is what I should have been doing all along.
***
Of course, in my head, Arthur eventually convinces Alfred otherwise. But I honestly don't know how to write a realistic way for them to get there.
Re: Aftermath
anonymous
August 26 2010, 09:16:59 UTC
This is a really intriguing fill, anon; I really enjoy how America is still recognizable as himself -- he still worries about how others see him while denying he's doing it, is still is somewhat juvenile, and is still so focused on England - but he has also clearly changed. He's become more jaded: If he hadn’t, I might have gone on holding onto stupid Hollywood-fairytale-romance-novel type daydreams like “one true love” and “saving myself” and “monogamy” and “forever” and shit. But I also get the feeling part of the reason that he's mocking the idealistic notions he once had is that part of him still is an idealist. And even more of him wants to go back to those beliefs. Wants to believe that he and England still have a Happily Ever After waiting for them in the future. I also really get the feeling that he -- America, land of individualists, in a way -- wants to believe that he has an identity outside of being a nation. And that he believes, or wants to believe, that if he calls himself an idiot often enough, maybe it will take the sting out of the word. And out of his apparent rejection by England and his "unrequited" love.
And America's mindset there at the end really hurts to read. It's like he's decided to whore himself out because he can't have "the real thing." Not to say that he shouldn't be having sex with anyone else while waiting for England or resigning himself to never having him; having sex and relationships along the way is perfectly healthy, whether casual or serious. But it seems like he's given up on having love, happiness, or even much of an identity of his own and is just deciding to (metaphorically) sell himself to please others and make things easier on himself, both politically and personally. And that is so far from what America normally is, that it hurts to read. And this is a bit ominous: I’m sure I can catch up though. It makes me wonder how sexually (or romantically) inexperienced he was before, how fast he's going to "catch up", and how much damage he's going to do to himself along the way.
Mm, and that last line is a bit heart-breaking, as well. This is what I should have been doing all along. Seeing America "admit" that he's been doing things wrong on such a huge scale and seeing him lose his idealism so quickly is really disquieting.
And yeah, leaving it here kind of breaks my heart, because he's heading down a road that's going to lead to a lot of pain for both himself and England, but I kind of understand why you left it here. Because let's face it: if they're lucky enough to stumble upon a happy ending with each other, it will only be after months (or years, since they are nations) of pain and misunderstanding. And it's hard to imagine that happening in real life, even with the interference of well-meaning friends.
And even in fiction, it's hard to imagine this happening easily or quickly. Although I do desperately want to see it happen; it's so rare to see a serious, disillusioned America, much less a difficult, realistic journey towards a healthy relationship between these two guys. And yeah, I picture that journey as long and hard after stupid "I'll make him jealous" antics, because real life isn't a romantic comedy. Despite all that, anon, I'd really love to see someone make it work. Desperately. :'D
... Which you can probably tell by my epically long comments. OTL Thanks for reposting so I could make them with a less guilty conscience; I hate to eat up the little remaining comment space on the original post. *hides in shaaaaaaaaame*
Re: Aftermath
anonymous
August 26 2010, 09:25:00 UTC
Ahahahaha, were you the one who advised me about the Part 12/post-parts-fill thing? If so, THANK YOU. This is much better and I was able to do some minor edits even. :)
And this comment is probably better thought out than the fill, so thank you again. I am really glad, cos you seemed to get what I was trying to drive at in my hasty fill, and I'd been worrying people would find it cheesy.
Headcanon for this fill is that America was a virgin (hence, the "saving myself" thing) until China, with whom he was kind of drunk. And that in that happy ending that I can't write TO, England initiates lots of kinky sex in an effort to one-up America's partners. America is too insecure still to offer his own suggestions, which mostly consist of "Let's incorporate food somehow" anyway.
Re: Aftermath
anonymous
August 26 2010, 09:47:37 UTC
Heh, you're welcome. :D
Naw, I don't think it was cheesy. And actually, I usually don't like first person, but you did a good job with it. A lot of people do overboard with the clueless "can't read the atmosphere" thing, or make him too annoying and confident, when he actually seems a bit more worried about what others think in canon. So I was glad to see someone incorporate those little hints from canon for once, and first person is a great way to do that believably. (Although I'm overthinking characterization, I guess, since you have to extrapolate really hard to get all that from a short webcomic that's full of stereotypes and is half-silly at best. I suck like that, though! XD)
Yeah, I definitely got the impression he was a virgin before China, or damn close. (Definitions of virgin kind of vary, hilariously enough. XD) Though I hope he at least dated random humans and got in some good old-fashioned making out or something before giving a drunken blowjob to someone who he probably wasn't even interested in. Poor, dear, broken-hearted idealist America. :'D
Mm, kinky sex. LOL, England would talk dirty, bring toys, and use weird magic and stuff on near-virgin America their first time, wouldn't he? XD Pfft, the thought of England worrying about being inferior and trying to one-up anyone is kind of funny. Sad, too, in this situation, but still funny! I mean, I kind of get the feeling that England's really, really been around the block. Judging from history and my unabashedly perverted head-canon, anyway! (But yeah, you'd think he'd probably realize after being with America a couple of time that America didn't take the initiative, come up with any exciting suggestions, or even seem very experienced FOR A REASON. And that there's nothing to worry about, since America's both in love and an idealist at heart. ... You know, America strikes me as the type to seem an eternal virgin, no matter how much sex he has or has had. Probably clumsily enthusiastic and loving, though!
Oh god, America would incorporate food, wouldn't he? Oral fixation, much? ... You know, no matter how USUK is depicted, I always imagine poor England having to banish fast food from their bedroom for eternity. I mean, many people are cool with a few "sexy" foods, but I can seriously imagine America trying to use burgers and fries sexily. And just ... no. No.
Re: Aftermath
anonymous
August 26 2010, 10:22:26 UTC
Did you see that Seinfeld episode where George hides a sandwich of a type he really likes in, like, a pillow or something, so that he could take bites of it at regular intervals during sex? I think his reasoning would be "How do I combine two things that are awesome into something that is more awesome?"
I usually don't like first person too - usually, when I'm looking for books to buy at the bookstore, I will immediately put down one that is 1st-person POV - which is why I'm always really impressed those times when I read them and they are awesome, and why I was so nervous about doing this in that POV. It just -- spilled out that way. Originally it was supposed to be America's journal, and England reading it, but it didn't fit right somehow.
And by the time England and America get around to non-angry, actually-communicating-during-it sex, America will be experienced enough to hold his own, at least. And England will KNOW it and HATE it, and OVERCOMPENSATE by pulling things that he hopes America has never experienced before. Sure he may have done doggy-style with a couple of other Nations, but has he done it as actual dogs via magical transformation?! (America's horrified answer: No, and he's NOT GOING TO.)
I have a feeling America will be making full use of his "sex is now allowed" paradigm shift and seducing dating humans and Nations now. And that he will definitely be sleeping with Heidi Klum, to name one person, at some point.
...ahahaha, sorry for the rambling, but as I'm probably never going to write the fill where they do get together, I feel the need to unburden my brain of all its ending-stuff here. :P
Re: Aftermath
anonymous
August 26 2010, 10:44:07 UTC
Pfft, I never saw that, but I can totally imagine America trying to sneak a bag of burgers into his nightstand and England starting to wonder what the smell is half-way through. Or just going ballistic when he cranes his head back and America's happily munching on some fries while fucking him. XD And yeah, somehow that logic would work for America, huh? But it's kind of like the little kid logic about combining their favorite foods; it almost never works out, and it almost always horrifies the people around them.
That's true; hopefully some the experience America gains will be fun and teach what he lies and how to ask for what he wants. Because frankly, no matter how much idealism he loses, America will probably always believe that his partner "should just know" what he wants. As well as expecting that of himself. Lol, Hollywood.
Sure he may have done doggy-style with a couple of other Nations, but has he done it as actual dogs via magical transformation?! That just made me laugh crazily, for some reason. "I know you've role-played with Japan, America, but he can't use magic to transform into his old sexy pirate imperial self and bugger you senseless, now can he?!" XD But yeah, I can picture England frantically coming up with idea after idea like that; he's pessimistic and insecure enough to worry that America will leave him or cheat on him when the novelty factor wears off. Which, while really unlikely with America, might seem more likely when you know you live for ages. (America's reaction to England's proposal is just right. Thank god. XD I mean, ew.)
Oh, if America can actually meet and date celebrities, that could lead to some really interesting situations. I can imagine Prussia reading other nations' tabloids -- what else is he going to do with his free time but gossip, hit on Austria and Hungary, and make prank calls? -- and showing England clippings of various gorgeous celebrities dating a mysterious, handsome young American that no one can identify. That would be hilarious. ;D Hell, a situation like that might even be enough for England's own jealousy to come pouring out in front of America. Although ... would America be too convinced that he has no chance with England to even understand why England is jealous? With love being blind, and all that? ... I kind of want to see this situation, but it's too much effort to write. And I can never pull off anything too dramatic. OTL
Don't worry about it; ramble away! I even ramble back, so it works out! XD
man, this ought to be a spin-off fic of its own.
anonymous
August 26 2010, 11:23:08 UTC
Hahahah, thanks~ And the image of England being completely blissed out, turning his head, and then seeing America happily munching away......it is an image now near and dear to my heart. His eyes would turn into those tilted-D things I imagine......*goes to google image-search*
Oh man, I LOL'd at your England's proposal. Because what if America responded like this: "Actually, that's exactly what Kiku did - transformed to his Imperial Japan form (with a magical pen of some kind, I don't know what the fuck was up with that) and....ah.....um. *belatedly realizes that England doesn't need to hear this* Um. So! I could really go for some of your scones. *hopeful*"
Oh, and this: "Although ... would America be too convinced that he has no chance with England to even understand why England is jealous? With love being blind, and all that? ... I kind of want to see this situation, but it's too much effort to write. And I can never pull off anything too dramatic. OTL" ...made me go HM. ....maybe I will be able to write a sequel, thanks to your plotbunny-spawning. I can just imagine America trying to 'rationalize' the situation so that it hurts less, and deciding that the reason why England and he could never sleep together is because England sees America as his son. Therefore, England hadn't let on about his bedpartners before because....parents try to shield their kids from that! England's jealousy is -- an overprotective father! And then a teenage Nation's reaction to an overprotective father is....oh no, shades of the Revolution.....
LOL PRUSSIA. Prussia as a couch-surfing, tabloid-genius pain in the ass is too good.
Re: man, this ought to be a spin-off fic of its own.
anonymous
August 26 2010, 11:55:59 UTC
Well, England's certainly tsundere enough to be the master of mood-swings, so I bet he could go from blissed out to Ultimate Tsundere Rage in like three seconds flat. With exactly those eyes, yeah! XD
Oh lord, America might just be dumb enough to say stuff like that; I mean, I don't get the impression he actually bothers to think before he talks -- maybe heroes are just supposed to wing it Indiana Jones style? -- and I imagine it's gotten him into trouble with England thousands of times before. But, uh, eating radioactive scones does not make up for that one, methinks. OTL
Uh-oh, are the plot-bunnies contagious? I mean! *dramatic villain voice* Mwahaha, my evil master plan has come to fruition!!! ... Or something like that!
But seriously, go for it, if you think you can make it work. :D And yeah, I can see America trying to rationalize in exactly that way. And even if it took months or years of America and England being clueless, outright undeniable jealousy from England would surely be enough to pierce through America's rationalizations. Eventually. XD (Wow, now that I think of it, they're both the type to construct elaborate narratives about each other's motives that are TOTALLY WRONG, aren't they? Why do I ship this pairing? What is my life? OTL)
Although I'm not sure how America would broach the subject of "Wait, you're jealous? :DDD" with England; if he confronted him about it in the heat of the moment, when England finally accidentally revealed his jealousy, I'm not entirely sure how England would react. Huh. And I almost fear any awesome, heroic plan America would conceive to confess or prove his love to England. Although whenever and whoever America decides to approach it, it's bound to be "interesting". XD
Oh Prussia, why so awesomely lame? I imagine him living in Germany's basement and playing World of Warcraft and X-box with random strangers when he's sick of bothering other nations. And now that he's not a nation, per se, I imagine his job title is "Pain in Germany's Ass" or "That Guy Who Won't Stop Crashing Meetings with (Awesome) Beer". ... I wonder what he does with his free time in canon, besides blog? He probably chats with Canada or torments Romano, since they're both in a unique situation; poor Canada is invisible as hell, and Romano is in a similar situation, although at least his physical territory is separate from his brother's. Even though he doesn't get called by his nation name for some confusing reason.
Re: man, this ought to be a spin-off fic of its own.
anonymous
August 26 2010, 12:18:02 UTC
I have this feeling that America, he who chooses not to read the Atmosphere by claiming it's "too thick a book", would miss signs of burning jealousy that have all the other Nations rolling their eyes (or rushing for cover).
"Fool! Don't you know the term 'green-eyed monster' came because of England?!"
...wow, okay. So after typing that up, I did look it up...and yeah, the term green-eyed monster was invented by Shakespeare. So YEAH, it did come from England.
LOL, I love how you put America's reaction. When he FINALLY gets it, that expression is exactly how I imagine it going. And for maximum lulz, I want to say when England finally blows his top, America is with either an English person or an Irish person...I haven't decided which is more lulzy.
Prussia is Germany's despair - and yet in some way his anchor, I think. On more serious grounds, I bet he's still dealing with issues re: Russia. If not actually still half with Russia. thanks to (Hetalia fanon that's made it to my heart) Kaliningrad Oblast.
I always thought he, Romano and America would make a great "The Annoying Brother" trio. :P
Re: man, this ought to be a spin-off fic of its own.
anonymous
August 26 2010, 13:04:30 UTC
Yeah, definitely! America's alleged inability to read the atmosphere is definitely an act XD very ... selective, shall we say? But he and England definitely have a blind-spot a mile wide when it comes to each other. They both suck at expressing their emotions and getting along with others, too, although England is about ten times worse at those two. OTL God, but really, I just have this hilarious mental picture of EVEN ITALY understanding England's jealousy and face-palming at America's thickness. (Granted, Italy should probably actually be good with recognizing love and emotional stuff, if nothing else. But "England's jealous! J-E-A-L-O-U-S. He wants to bone you. Even Italy gets it, you fool!" kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it? ... I bet snarky, passive-aggressive Canada would be happy to spell it out for America. Hell, that would even be such welcome news that his criticisms of America wouldn't even hurt America's feelings for once!)
And yeah, as soon I as I started watching Hetalia, I noticed England's unrequited love and started thinking "the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock / The meat it feeds on" and "Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!" Pfft, and then I noticed America's unrequited love and laughed hysterically at the idea of mutually unrequited love and was like "God, you two suck so hard! <3"
You pictured that expression too? Awesome! :D I mean, even the author puts little "DDDD" smiles in the air next to his speech, so I can't NOT picture it that way. XD And dude, I was totally picturing an Englishman myself, yes! Although Irish would be just as funny. Hell, or Scottish, considering how poorly he apparently gets along with big brother Scotland. ... But somehow, I do like Irish or English better. (Pfft, nobody wants a Welsh person, huh? Poor Wales is so awesome yet so forgotten; maybe he and Canada and New Zealand all hang out together and mope. And possibly Romano, unless everyone's too afraid of him going all mafia on their asses to forget him?) If you do go for an English person, you could always go for somebody America's film industry has "stolen" (lured away with the big bucks). For the lulz. Unless that would make it more confusing why he was jealous. It might.
Oh, poor Prussia, I know. I mean, I feel more sorry for Poland than anyone else, really; the nation has been (metaphorically) raped so many times that his anthem translates to something like "Poland Is Not Yet Lost" or "Poland Has Not Yet Perished". OTL But Prussia has actually been to hell and back since his conception -- as a fiefdom of the Teutonic Knights, so he probably was born with a sword in his hand but still wasn't allowed to get any, now that's some kind of hell! And now he exists in this freaky limbo state.
Why does he still exist? For the lulz? I mean, East Prussia was part of Germany till 45, then after Potsdam bits of it were annexed by Lithuania and Poland (LOL) and a lot become Kaliningrad Oblast. And the rest kind of just stayed with Germany. Isn't that about right? And after 1990, when East and West Germany merged again, he really doesn't have much or any territory of his own. I don't think anyone kept their Prussian identity, so I guess he's just too damn awesomely stubborn to die, no matter what Russia did to him. Hell, that's probably WHY he's too stubborn to die. :'D Somehow I don't imagine that Lithuania or Poland ever had him at their places. Or wanted him, considering his (presumable) role in WWII. So at least they never did anything to him presumably. OTL
And yeah, Prussia probably really does keep his bro grounded. And helps him "unclench", for lack of a better word. He probably gets him drunk and nags at him to stop working and go out and get laid. Or to invite his little Latin lover over, I dunno. XD
That sounds like an awesome trio, although I bet Romano would argue that Italy's the annoying brother. ;D Maybe Korea should be included? XD
recap: purer romance
anonymous
August 26 2010, 14:38:27 UTC
I loooooved that official Word of God canon says that Alfred CAN read the atmosphere, he just chooses not to. It makes everything he does in the canon all the more hilarious in hindsight. (And now I suspect even baby!America's reasons for choosing England over France. Was it for the tears....or did baby!America, even then, know what he wanted?)
But Italy facepalming over England's density....Germany would faint dead away from shock. I LOVE IT. And then the Italies, France and Spain would get into an argument who is the most romantic country, and therefore who is the most horrified over England and America.
As to the Englishman (Daniel Craig?) or Englishwoman (Keira Knightley?) or Irishman/Irishwoman thing - it's a joke I heard, about how Americans love the Irish so much. Right now I think they're a bit edgy over the Scottish and though I think the Welsh accent (and flag!) are awesome, I thought it'd be a bit more real-world canon if America was fawning over Irish. (I'm not American so I don't know how true this is) Plus England would flip his lid over America being with one of his siblings' people...or oh shit, what if it were the actual country-tans?!
Prussia, like America, I feel, keeps his darker side hidden behind the I'm Awesome! mask. I've always gotten rather teary-eyed when I think of him watching Hungary wed Austria, even though him pining for her from afar is not at all Hetalia-canon.
...Romano, America, Prussia, Korea. KRAP? Oh man, let the world tremble in fear.
ReCaptcha wants you to write their TWU WUV?
anonymous
August 26 2010, 15:31:18 UTC
Our canon is just awesome like that. Honestly, I don't know if it's an American thing to just choose not to read the atmosphere in that particular way, but that's exactly what I do in certain situations. Sometimes it's the least awkward and most polite thing to do, but usually it's just the most advantageous thing to do. Because no one will call you on your bullshit, so it lets you bulldoze through situations when you're desperate to get things done. And then you go home and cry a melodramatic tear because, even though you got things done, people hate you for it. *dramatic tear* Really, though, I think the author just choose to make that canon because it's terrifying to imagine an America that is actually that clueless! XP And it is more hilarious that way, isn't it? (Quite possibly, although I think that America is really a big softy at heart, too, so I like to think he's been weak to England's tears since the beginning. ... That's pretty gay-sounding, though. OTL Maybe he just wanted to play with his new mommy's awesome face-caterpillars when they turned into butterflies?!)
Germany fainting was quite possibly the only thing that could make that scenario more amusing to me. Uh, until I reread the last half of this sentence: And then the Italies, France and Spain would get into an argument who is the most romantic country, and therefore who is the most horrified over England and America. Ahahaha, it's so true. How on Earth did an Englishman write the most recognized love story of all time? ... Oh wait, that whole Romeo and Juliet thing didn't work out so well. OTL My bad.
I know nothing about us loving the Irish in particular thing (although we do like them :D), despite being American, but the whole "having a hard-on for everything English" is pretty true, in my experience. That doesn't mean the whole Irish thing isn't true, though; there are too many of us (and we're nowhere near homogenous, despite what some tv programs want to believe) to be sure of much! My nation is too large; we're overcompensating for having such a short history or something. Or we just wanted to get bigger than mommy!England, I dunno. (Am I an idiot for laughing that Florida is bigger than England? ... Yes, yes I am.)
Oh! Can I ask where you're from? You don't have to answer if you don't want, though. :D To be fair, I'll say, too: I'm an American, obviously, but I'm from Texas. Why my state is Alfred's glasses, I'll never know. XP
And I fail so bad at celebrities, so I had to look them all up. (The only people I could think of were Hugh Laurie and some ancient people. OTL) Some of them are married, though, so I'm guessing America wouldn't actually date them. He would definitely hang out with them and get caught by the paparazzi in some innocent situation they made look awkward, though. XD But you're right, England would be so pissed; I was thinking of the awkward photographs in the tabloids, so I was thinking of humans. But you know, the tabloids might have caught pictures of "an unknown young American government official" and "an unknown Irish official" (America and Ireland) doing something mildly scandalous? If you want to use that situation at all, that is! If not, Prussia, France, and/or Poland would still gossip about it; or Scotland might torment his little bro about it, since it's hard to miss that England has been pining and lusting after him for centuries. :'D Either that or England has fairies, junior ambassadors, or MI6 spies stalking watching over America at all times and already obsesses over everyone he is too friendly with. ... That sounds only slightly exaggerated from my head-canon, actually. I imagine those two watch over each other a little too carefully. Heh. Although not in a creepy manner, honestly.
I can't shut up :D
anonymous
August 26 2010, 15:32:06 UTC
Poor Prussia; he really does seem as obviously lonely as England does. (Like in those last two episodes where England finally makes friends with someone after his "splendid isolation".) I wonder if America's the same, in a way? I mean, I've never met an American in my life who didn't feel like the whole world, or damn near it, hated them. Hm, at least Prussia has Germany; somehow, even though I imagine Prussia annoying him, I imagine them balancing out each other's weaknesses and being good friends, in the end. Granted, the delicious beer probably helps.
Hm, if only they had a N they could be PRANK, and then the world would tremble in terror. Wait, is New Zealand an annoying bro? Somehow I don't think Norway is ... Okay, Americans like acronyms a little too much. *facepalm*
Sad but delicious :)
anonymous
August 26 2010, 23:55:31 UTC
It's kind of hard to imagine a happy ending to this fic; Al sounds like he's about to spiral out of control. Cuz frankly, I don't think that boy is made for casual sex.
This is a spur-of-the-moment fill based on what might happen AFTER Arthur embarks on a "get America jealous, that will lead to hatesex" program.
***
I’m an idiot.
I mean, yeah, I guess everyone’s been telling me so for ages, but it only really matters if I say it, right? So I’ll say it. I’m an idiot. I really am.
But I’m learning.
In a way I guess it’s a good thing that England’s suddenly gotten less obvious about sleeping around. (Because he was hiding it a lot better before. I don’t think he’s gotten any more slutty promiscuous - just a lot less subtle. Maybe it’s because he actually has less partners than before? He must have been absolutely pimping during his empire days.) If he hadn’t, I might have gone on holding onto stupid Hollywood-fairytale-romance-novel type daydreams like “one true love” and “saving myself” and “monogamy” and “forever” and shit. Fucking hell, how lame must I have looked?
We’re fucking Nations, not people.
Heh.
I didn’t mean it that way, but now that I look at it, I guess that’s exactly right, ain’t it? We’re Nations - not people. And I’m talking about fucking Nations, not people. (Wonder if I can? Never tried it.)
We’re Nations and we’re made up of people. Lots of different people. We can’t love
(...fuck, that sounded so teenage-drama-llama. Next thing you know I’ll be writing poetry in a journal and painting my nails black.)
And now that I think about it, it’s wrong. We can love other Nations, 'cos some of our people do. And some of our people will love people from other Nations. And we can hate them at the same time. And we can be mostly indifferent to them because most of our people will never really have anything to do with other Nations. Brief visits, if that.
I’m across the Atlantic. My business is my States. How can England really touch me? How could he feel anything - how could any of us feel anything - that’s pure? Something that’s not just a faint echo from other people, and pulled the other way by the feelings of yet more people?
There’s no Arthur. There’s only England. There’s no Alfred really, just me - us, I guess - America. Those names - I’ve been fooling myself - those are just names we use to make things easier.
And I’ve been stupid. China’s been a lot nicer ever since I sucked him off. My Boss was pleased with me. And that’s what I should be doing, making things easier for him. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy being with China either. If I sleep with Germany, I bet I could along with the EU better, and he wouldn’t be so scary as France....not that France is scary, okay, just that everyone knows how...good he is, and I’ve only just started getting into this game. I’m sure I can catch up though.
Mexico. Yeah, I should see about Mexico. Brazil too.
This is what I should have been doing all along.
***
Of course, in my head, Arthur eventually convinces Alfred otherwise. But I honestly don't know how to write a realistic way for them to get there.
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Way to break my heart, anon.
I'ma crawl into your head to look at that happy ending, 'kay?
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The happy ending involves lots and lots of kinky sex, in multiple positions, with use of magic and toys! :)
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And America's mindset there at the end really hurts to read. It's like he's decided to whore himself out because he can't have "the real thing." Not to say that he shouldn't be having sex with anyone else while waiting for England or resigning himself to never having him; having sex and relationships along the way is perfectly healthy, whether casual or serious. But it seems like he's given up on having love, happiness, or even much of an identity of his own and is just deciding to (metaphorically) sell himself to please others and make things easier on himself, both politically and personally. And that is so far from what America normally is, that it hurts to read. And this is a bit ominous: I’m sure I can catch up though. It makes me wonder how sexually (or romantically) inexperienced he was before, how fast he's going to "catch up", and how much damage he's going to do to himself along the way.
Mm, and that last line is a bit heart-breaking, as well. This is what I should have been doing all along. Seeing America "admit" that he's been doing things wrong on such a huge scale and seeing him lose his idealism so quickly is really disquieting.
And yeah, leaving it here kind of breaks my heart, because he's heading down a road that's going to lead to a lot of pain for both himself and England, but I kind of understand why you left it here. Because let's face it: if they're lucky enough to stumble upon a happy ending with each other, it will only be after months (or years, since they are nations) of pain and misunderstanding. And it's hard to imagine that happening in real life, even with the interference of well-meaning friends.
And even in fiction, it's hard to imagine this happening easily or quickly. Although I do desperately want to see it happen; it's so rare to see a serious, disillusioned America, much less a difficult, realistic journey towards a healthy relationship between these two guys. And yeah, I picture that journey as long and hard after stupid "I'll make him jealous" antics, because real life isn't a romantic comedy. Despite all that, anon, I'd really love to see someone make it work. Desperately. :'D
... Which you can probably tell by my epically long comments. OTL Thanks for reposting so I could make them with a less guilty conscience; I hate to eat up the little remaining comment space on the original post. *hides in shaaaaaaaaame*
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And this comment is probably better thought out than the fill, so thank you again. I am really glad, cos you seemed to get what I was trying to drive at in my hasty fill, and I'd been worrying people would find it cheesy.
Headcanon for this fill is that America was a virgin (hence, the "saving myself" thing) until China, with whom he was kind of drunk. And that in that happy ending that I can't write TO, England initiates lots of kinky sex in an effort to one-up America's partners. America is too insecure still to offer his own suggestions, which mostly consist of "Let's incorporate food somehow" anyway.
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Naw, I don't think it was cheesy. And actually, I usually don't like first person, but you did a good job with it. A lot of people do overboard with the clueless "can't read the atmosphere" thing, or make him too annoying and confident, when he actually seems a bit more worried about what others think in canon. So I was glad to see someone incorporate those little hints from canon for once, and first person is a great way to do that believably. (Although I'm overthinking characterization, I guess, since you have to extrapolate really hard to get all that from a short webcomic that's full of stereotypes and is half-silly at best. I suck like that, though! XD)
Yeah, I definitely got the impression he was a virgin before China, or damn close. (Definitions of virgin kind of vary, hilariously enough. XD) Though I hope he at least dated random humans and got in some good old-fashioned making out or something before giving a drunken blowjob to someone who he probably wasn't even interested in. Poor, dear, broken-hearted idealist America. :'D
Mm, kinky sex. LOL, England would talk dirty, bring toys, and use weird magic and stuff on near-virgin America their first time, wouldn't he? XD Pfft, the thought of England worrying about being inferior and trying to one-up anyone is kind of funny. Sad, too, in this situation, but still funny! I mean, I kind of get the feeling that England's really, really been around the block. Judging from history and my unabashedly perverted head-canon, anyway! (But yeah, you'd think he'd probably realize after being with America a couple of time that America didn't take the initiative, come up with any exciting suggestions, or even seem very experienced FOR A REASON. And that there's nothing to worry about, since America's both in love and an idealist at heart. ... You know, America strikes me as the type to seem an eternal virgin, no matter how much sex he has or has had. Probably clumsily enthusiastic and loving, though!
Oh god, America would incorporate food, wouldn't he? Oral fixation, much? ... You know, no matter how USUK is depicted, I always imagine poor England having to banish fast food from their bedroom for eternity. I mean, many people are cool with a few "sexy" foods, but I can seriously imagine America trying to use burgers and fries sexily. And just ... no. No.
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I usually don't like first person too - usually, when I'm looking for books to buy at the bookstore, I will immediately put down one that is 1st-person POV - which is why I'm always really impressed those times when I read them and they are awesome, and why I was so nervous about doing this in that POV. It just -- spilled out that way. Originally it was supposed to be America's journal, and England reading it, but it didn't fit right somehow.
And by the time England and America get around to non-angry, actually-communicating-during-it sex, America will be experienced enough to hold his own, at least. And England will KNOW it and HATE it, and OVERCOMPENSATE by pulling things that he hopes America has never experienced before. Sure he may have done doggy-style with a couple of other Nations, but has he done it as actual dogs via magical transformation?! (America's horrified answer: No, and he's NOT GOING TO.)
I have a feeling America will be making full use of his "sex is now allowed" paradigm shift and seducing dating humans and Nations now. And that he will definitely be sleeping with Heidi Klum, to name one person, at some point.
...ahahaha, sorry for the rambling, but as I'm probably never going to write the fill where they do get together, I feel the need to unburden my brain of all its ending-stuff here. :P
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That's true; hopefully some the experience America gains will be fun and teach what he lies and how to ask for what he wants. Because frankly, no matter how much idealism he loses, America will probably always believe that his partner "should just know" what he wants. As well as expecting that of himself. Lol, Hollywood.
Sure he may have done doggy-style with a couple of other Nations, but has he done it as actual dogs via magical transformation?! That just made me laugh crazily, for some reason. "I know you've role-played with Japan, America, but he can't use magic to transform into his old sexy pirate imperial self and bugger you senseless, now can he?!" XD But yeah, I can picture England frantically coming up with idea after idea like that; he's pessimistic and insecure enough to worry that America will leave him or cheat on him when the novelty factor wears off. Which, while really unlikely with America, might seem more likely when you know you live for ages. (America's reaction to England's proposal is just right. Thank god. XD I mean, ew.)
Oh, if America can actually meet and date celebrities, that could lead to some really interesting situations. I can imagine Prussia reading other nations' tabloids -- what else is he going to do with his free time but gossip, hit on Austria and Hungary, and make prank calls? -- and showing England clippings of various gorgeous celebrities dating a mysterious, handsome young American that no one can identify. That would be hilarious. ;D Hell, a situation like that might even be enough for England's own jealousy to come pouring out in front of America. Although ... would America be too convinced that he has no chance with England to even understand why England is jealous? With love being blind, and all that? ... I kind of want to see this situation, but it's too much effort to write. And I can never pull off anything too dramatic. OTL
Don't worry about it; ramble away! I even ramble back, so it works out! XD
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http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs40/f/2009/018/a/e/Chibi_Angry_Yoko_by_Vejit.png <--like that, LOL
Oh man, I LOL'd at your England's proposal. Because what if America responded like this: "Actually, that's exactly what Kiku did - transformed to his Imperial Japan form (with a magical pen of some kind, I don't know what the fuck was up with that) and....ah.....um. *belatedly realizes that England doesn't need to hear this* Um. So! I could really go for some of your scones. *hopeful*"
Oh, and this: "Although ... would America be too convinced that he has no chance with England to even understand why England is jealous? With love being blind, and all that? ... I kind of want to see this situation, but it's too much effort to write. And I can never pull off anything too dramatic. OTL" ...made me go HM. ....maybe I will be able to write a sequel, thanks to your plotbunny-spawning. I can just imagine America trying to 'rationalize' the situation so that it hurts less, and deciding that the reason why England and he could never sleep together is because England sees America as his son. Therefore, England hadn't let on about his bedpartners before because....parents try to shield their kids from that! England's jealousy is -- an overprotective father! And then a teenage Nation's reaction to an overprotective father is....oh no, shades of the Revolution.....
LOL PRUSSIA. Prussia as a couch-surfing, tabloid-genius pain in the ass is too good.
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Oh lord, America might just be dumb enough to say stuff like that; I mean, I don't get the impression he actually bothers to think before he talks -- maybe heroes are just supposed to wing it Indiana Jones style? -- and I imagine it's gotten him into trouble with England thousands of times before. But, uh, eating radioactive scones does not make up for that one, methinks. OTL
Uh-oh, are the plot-bunnies contagious? I mean! *dramatic villain voice* Mwahaha, my evil master plan has come to fruition!!! ... Or something like that!
But seriously, go for it, if you think you can make it work. :D And yeah, I can see America trying to rationalize in exactly that way. And even if it took months or years of America and England being clueless, outright undeniable jealousy from England would surely be enough to pierce through America's rationalizations. Eventually. XD (Wow, now that I think of it, they're both the type to construct elaborate narratives about each other's motives that are TOTALLY WRONG, aren't they? Why do I ship this pairing? What is my life? OTL)
Although I'm not sure how America would broach the subject of "Wait, you're jealous? :DDD" with England; if he confronted him about it in the heat of the moment, when England finally accidentally revealed his jealousy, I'm not entirely sure how England would react. Huh. And I almost fear any awesome, heroic plan America would conceive to confess or prove his love to England. Although whenever and whoever America decides to approach it, it's bound to be "interesting". XD
Oh Prussia, why so awesomely lame? I imagine him living in Germany's basement and playing World of Warcraft and X-box with random strangers when he's sick of bothering other nations. And now that he's not a nation, per se, I imagine his job title is "Pain in Germany's Ass" or "That Guy Who Won't Stop Crashing Meetings with (Awesome) Beer". ... I wonder what he does with his free time in canon, besides blog? He probably chats with Canada or torments Romano, since they're both in a unique situation; poor Canada is invisible as hell, and Romano is in a similar situation, although at least his physical territory is separate from his brother's. Even though he doesn't get called by his nation name for some confusing reason.
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"Fool! Don't you know the term 'green-eyed monster' came because of England?!"
...wow, okay. So after typing that up, I did look it up...and yeah, the term green-eyed monster was invented by Shakespeare. So YEAH, it did come from England.
LOL, I love how you put America's reaction. When he FINALLY gets it, that expression is exactly how I imagine it going. And for maximum lulz, I want to say when England finally blows his top, America is with either an English person or an Irish person...I haven't decided which is more lulzy.
Prussia is Germany's despair - and yet in some way his anchor, I think. On more serious grounds, I bet he's still dealing with issues re: Russia. If not actually still half with Russia. thanks to (Hetalia fanon that's made it to my heart) Kaliningrad Oblast.
I always thought he, Romano and America would make a great "The Annoying Brother" trio. :P
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And yeah, as soon I as I started watching Hetalia, I noticed England's unrequited love and started thinking "the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock / The meat it feeds on" and "Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!" Pfft, and then I noticed America's unrequited love and laughed hysterically at the idea of mutually unrequited love and was like "God, you two suck so hard! <3"
You pictured that expression too? Awesome! :D I mean, even the author puts little "DDDD" smiles in the air next to his speech, so I can't NOT picture it that way. XD And dude, I was totally picturing an Englishman myself, yes! Although Irish would be just as funny. Hell, or Scottish, considering how poorly he apparently gets along with big brother Scotland. ... But somehow, I do like Irish or English better. (Pfft, nobody wants a Welsh person, huh? Poor Wales is so awesome yet so forgotten; maybe he and Canada and New Zealand all hang out together and mope. And possibly Romano, unless everyone's too afraid of him going all mafia on their asses to forget him?) If you do go for an English person, you could always go for somebody America's film industry has "stolen" (lured away with the big bucks). For the lulz. Unless that would make it more confusing why he was jealous. It might.
Oh, poor Prussia, I know. I mean, I feel more sorry for Poland than anyone else, really; the nation has been (metaphorically) raped so many times that his anthem translates to something like "Poland Is Not Yet Lost" or "Poland Has Not Yet Perished". OTL But Prussia has actually been to hell and back since his conception -- as a fiefdom of the Teutonic Knights, so he probably was born with a sword in his hand but still wasn't allowed to get any, now that's some kind of hell! And now he exists in this freaky limbo state.
Why does he still exist? For the lulz? I mean, East Prussia was part of Germany till 45, then after Potsdam bits of it were annexed by Lithuania and Poland (LOL) and a lot become Kaliningrad Oblast. And the rest kind of just stayed with Germany. Isn't that about right? And after 1990, when East and West Germany merged again, he really doesn't have much or any territory of his own. I don't think anyone kept their Prussian identity, so I guess he's just too damn awesomely stubborn to die, no matter what Russia did to him. Hell, that's probably WHY he's too stubborn to die. :'D Somehow I don't imagine that Lithuania or Poland ever had him at their places. Or wanted him, considering his (presumable) role in WWII. So at least they never did anything to him presumably. OTL
And yeah, Prussia probably really does keep his bro grounded. And helps him "unclench", for lack of a better word. He probably gets him drunk and nags at him to stop working and go out and get laid. Or to invite his little Latin lover over, I dunno. XD
That sounds like an awesome trio, although I bet Romano would argue that Italy's the annoying brother. ;D Maybe Korea should be included? XD
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But Italy facepalming over England's density....Germany would faint dead away from shock. I LOVE IT. And then the Italies, France and Spain would get into an argument who is the most romantic country, and therefore who is the most horrified over England and America.
As to the Englishman (Daniel Craig?) or Englishwoman (Keira Knightley?) or Irishman/Irishwoman thing - it's a joke I heard, about how Americans love the Irish so much. Right now I think they're a bit edgy over the Scottish and though I think the Welsh accent (and flag!) are awesome, I thought it'd be a bit more real-world canon if America was fawning over Irish. (I'm not American so I don't know how true this is) Plus England would flip his lid over America being with one of his siblings' people...or oh shit, what if it were the actual country-tans?!
Prussia, like America, I feel, keeps his darker side hidden behind the I'm Awesome! mask. I've always gotten rather teary-eyed when I think of him watching Hungary wed Austria, even though him pining for her from afar is not at all Hetalia-canon.
...Romano, America, Prussia, Korea. KRAP? Oh man, let the world tremble in fear.
Also LOL at my recaptcha.
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Germany fainting was quite possibly the only thing that could make that scenario more amusing to me. Uh, until I reread the last half of this sentence: And then the Italies, France and Spain would get into an argument who is the most romantic country, and therefore who is the most horrified over England and America. Ahahaha, it's so true. How on Earth did an Englishman write the most recognized love story of all time? ... Oh wait, that whole Romeo and Juliet thing didn't work out so well. OTL My bad.
I know nothing about us loving the Irish in particular thing (although we do like them :D), despite being American, but the whole "having a hard-on for everything English" is pretty true, in my experience. That doesn't mean the whole Irish thing isn't true, though; there are too many of us (and we're nowhere near homogenous, despite what some tv programs want to believe) to be sure of much! My nation is too large; we're overcompensating for having such a short history or something. Or we just wanted to get bigger than mommy!England, I dunno. (Am I an idiot for laughing that Florida is bigger than England? ... Yes, yes I am.)
Oh! Can I ask where you're from? You don't have to answer if you don't want, though. :D To be fair, I'll say, too: I'm an American, obviously, but I'm from Texas. Why my state is Alfred's glasses, I'll never know. XP
And I fail so bad at celebrities, so I had to look them all up. (The only people I could think of were Hugh Laurie and some ancient people. OTL) Some of them are married, though, so I'm guessing America wouldn't actually date them. He would definitely hang out with them and get caught by the paparazzi in some innocent situation they made look awkward, though. XD But you're right, England would be so pissed; I was thinking of the awkward photographs in the tabloids, so I was thinking of humans. But you know, the tabloids might have caught pictures of "an unknown young American government official" and "an unknown Irish official" (America and Ireland) doing something mildly scandalous? If you want to use that situation at all, that is! If not, Prussia, France, and/or Poland would still gossip about it; or Scotland might torment his little bro about it, since it's hard to miss that England has been pining and lusting after him for centuries. :'D Either that or England has fairies, junior ambassadors, or MI6 spies stalking watching over America at all times and already obsesses over everyone he is too friendly with. ... That sounds only slightly exaggerated from my head-canon, actually. I imagine those two watch over each other a little too carefully. Heh. Although not in a creepy manner, honestly.
(I exceeded the character limit? Good god.)
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Hm, if only they had a N they could be PRANK, and then the world would tremble in terror. Wait, is New Zealand an annoying bro? Somehow I don't think Norway is ... Okay, Americans like acronyms a little too much. *facepalm*
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