Mongoose - Chapter 3D
anonymous
March 28 2010, 05:56:37 UTC
“Where are you taking me?” demands the boy.
“To rest, for a while. Then, you’ll be meeting my dear friend Yao. He is very interested in speaking with your father.” The roadside is lost to shadows; Russia has to peer to see through to where the beach road starts: a hint of gray and white just beyond the entangled foliage. “Please don’t concern yourself so much with what is happening. You will be in safe hands, Matthew.”
“I don’t-what?”
There is silence.
Then, Matthew begins to laugh.
Russia smiles. Then, he frowns.
Something is wrong.
The person in the backseat is still laughing when Russia swerves the car into a few shrubs and puts it in park. Hardy, boisterous laughter that sounds a little sick and a little hysterical. Russia can’t put it on Matthew’s face, and for the first time, his gut starts to churn with residue unease. There is something wrong, there is something very wrong and he must see for himself what he had taken for granted-
Russia yanks open the car door. The boy spills out onto the ground with a yelp and curls up on the gravel, floundering helplessly in the dark. But not for long. Leaning down, Russia grasps the black bag and wrenches it from his head.
“Chto za huy?” curses Russia.
“I don’t speak human trafficker,” the stranger spits.
Russia is too busy having an internal meltdown this time to be charmed.
This isn’t the meek, impressionable young man that Russia’s read about-and, he quickly realizes, he means this in the most literal sense. Now that he’s paying attention, the details are glaring. The muscles are firmer, more streamlined. The legs slightly longer, perhaps. The hair is short and uneven around the ears, as if cut-why hadn’t he bothered to check before? It’s so simple. Aggravatingly simple.
He kneels before the struggling man and grasps his chin hard, pulling the face up into the little light afforded by the cover of the trees. Blue, defiant eyes bore holes into his own, wild like the children he’d once fed every weekend in the homeland. “Your name,” Russia demands, gripping the soft flesh beneath his jaw.
“Eat me.”
No. It’s not possible.
“Your name isn’t Matthew,” says Russia, harsher yet. “You’re the other boy-you’re Alfred.”
The answer is alight in those eyes, fierce as the grin that forms on the man’s face. All wrong, all of it wrong.
Brothers. Brothers, sometimes, share things like jackets.
He is going to break Gilbert’s arm for not warning him of this.
I hope this was all right. I'm relieved that America's in this now, since it'll at least be less boring. (Why are you so boring, Russia?) Thanks to all who offered nice feedback! :D
Next time, some explanation in this comedy of errors and Alfred is digging this whole being captive thing because now he has a captive audience. God save you, Russia. No one else will.
Re: Mongoose - Chapter 3D
anonymous
March 28 2010, 10:09:39 UTC
I really like where this is going and massive massive props for kind of flipping the stereotype. I love that you have Alfred being the unnoticed, unwanted one and Matthew being the golden child and the heir.
Re: Mongoose - Chapter 3D
anonymous
March 28 2010, 11:28:01 UTC
I really like were this fill is going. Keep up the good work authoranon. And I find your Russia very charming, not boring. He will make a good contrast to Alfred. (oh and calling him Russia while the others go by human names is love. Great idea to bring some sort of mental distance between him and all the other characters.)
Anons shoulden't be demanding but I hope we'll see Russias two sisters some time during this fill (if the oppurtunity presents itself for authoranon)
Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. I'm in love, I'm in so much love with this fill!
Seriously the pace you set in this almost casual, even during the grab, until the last part where Russia realizes he's grabbed the wrong kid and it ramps up to a frenzied pace. It really felt like were were there in Russia's head with him feeling how bored, how all too easy, he was feeling about the grab (even when the target starting fighting back) until he got to the Oh Crap moment at the end. It was just...fabulous. Your Russia's is fabulous from top to bottom. I'm sorry you're finding him boring... :-/
And Alfred...oh gods we didn't get to see much of him but what we've seen...he's a gem a shiny, awesome gem. I love him already and can't wait for more of him.
And though we only glimpsed him for a few seconds I feel sorry for Matthew already. It can't be easy being trapped between two strong willed individuals as Arthur and Alfred. Will we see a glimpse of the relationship he and Alfred have in this. Close enough to share a jacket it appears unless Alfred just grabbed it without caring.
Seriously this is one of the most amazing fills ever and I can't wait to see where this is heading next and the continued growing relationship between these two.
Writer!Anon clings to you
anonymous
March 29 2010, 04:09:31 UTC
*blushes and clings* ♥
I'm so, so glad you're enjoying it! I'm very insecure about it, but it helps to know that you're having fun. And, though I was worried about how invested I'd get, I'm starting to have fun, too~. ♥ We should see a lot more frenzied speed, ha ha.
Ack, when I say I find Russia boring, it's not that I don't love him madly. It's just that I write Russia very... slow? Like the predator that waits and waits and waits before finally making a move. One of the things that really worried me in this fill was that I wouldn't be able to fulfill the intensity that most people manage when they write Russia.
Fortunately, the only way to do that is to practice! 8D
I am so happy you like him. ♥
Poor Matthew. We'll definitely see more about him and Alfred in this; their relationship isn't quite the cozy one that Russia immediately assumes. (And you are absolutely right about both guesses as to why Alfred has the coat.)
Re: Mongoose - Chapter 3D
anonymous
March 28 2010, 23:09:11 UTC
I can understand why you said Russia is boring XD It's actually not that Russia is "boring", but America is wayyyyyyyy too "interesting" :D And Russia + America = EVEN MORE INTERESTING!!!
>>Alfred is digging this whole being captive thing because now he has a captive audience. God save you, Russia. No one else will.
“To rest, for a while. Then, you’ll be meeting my dear friend Yao. He is very interested in speaking with your father.” The roadside is lost to shadows; Russia has to peer to see through to where the beach road starts: a hint of gray and white just beyond the entangled foliage. “Please don’t concern yourself so much with what is happening. You will be in safe hands, Matthew.”
“I don’t-what?”
There is silence.
Then, Matthew begins to laugh.
Russia smiles. Then, he frowns.
Something is wrong.
The person in the backseat is still laughing when Russia swerves the car into a few shrubs and puts it in park. Hardy, boisterous laughter that sounds a little sick and a little hysterical. Russia can’t put it on Matthew’s face, and for the first time, his gut starts to churn with residue unease. There is something wrong, there is something very wrong and he must see for himself what he had taken for granted-
Russia yanks open the car door. The boy spills out onto the ground with a yelp and curls up on the gravel, floundering helplessly in the dark. But not for long. Leaning down, Russia grasps the black bag and wrenches it from his head.
“Chto za huy?” curses Russia.
“I don’t speak human trafficker,” the stranger spits.
Russia is too busy having an internal meltdown this time to be charmed.
This isn’t the meek, impressionable young man that Russia’s read about-and, he quickly realizes, he means this in the most literal sense. Now that he’s paying attention, the details are glaring. The muscles are firmer, more streamlined. The legs slightly longer, perhaps. The hair is short and uneven around the ears, as if cut-why hadn’t he bothered to check before? It’s so simple. Aggravatingly simple.
He kneels before the struggling man and grasps his chin hard, pulling the face up into the little light afforded by the cover of the trees. Blue, defiant eyes bore holes into his own, wild like the children he’d once fed every weekend in the homeland. “Your name,” Russia demands, gripping the soft flesh beneath his jaw.
“Eat me.”
No. It’s not possible.
“Your name isn’t Matthew,” says Russia, harsher yet. “You’re the other boy-you’re Alfred.”
The answer is alight in those eyes, fierce as the grin that forms on the man’s face. All wrong, all of it wrong.
Brothers. Brothers, sometimes, share things like jackets.
He is going to break Gilbert’s arm for not warning him of this.
I hope this was all right. I'm relieved that America's in this now, since it'll at least be less boring. (Why are you so boring, Russia?) Thanks to all who offered nice feedback! :D
Next time, some explanation in this comedy of errors and Alfred is digging this whole being captive thing because now he has a captive audience. God save you, Russia. No one else will.
Reply
Please keep updating!
Reply
Anons shoulden't be demanding but I hope we'll see Russias two sisters some time during this fill (if the oppurtunity presents itself for authoranon)
Reply
Seriously the pace you set in this almost casual, even during the grab, until the last part where Russia realizes he's grabbed the wrong kid and it ramps up to a frenzied pace. It really felt like were were there in Russia's head with him feeling how bored, how all too easy, he was feeling about the grab (even when the target starting fighting back) until he got to the Oh Crap moment at the end. It was just...fabulous. Your Russia's is fabulous from top to bottom. I'm sorry you're finding him boring... :-/
And Alfred...oh gods we didn't get to see much of him but what we've seen...he's a gem a shiny, awesome gem. I love him already and can't wait for more of him.
And though we only glimpsed him for a few seconds I feel sorry for Matthew already. It can't be easy being trapped between two strong willed individuals as Arthur and Alfred. Will we see a glimpse of the relationship he and Alfred have in this. Close enough to share a jacket it appears unless Alfred just grabbed it without caring.
Seriously this is one of the most amazing fills ever and I can't wait to see where this is heading next and the continued growing relationship between these two.
Love, love, love!
Reply
I'm so, so glad you're enjoying it! I'm very insecure about it, but it helps to know that you're having fun. And, though I was worried about how invested I'd get, I'm starting to have fun, too~. ♥ We should see a lot more frenzied speed, ha ha.
Ack, when I say I find Russia boring, it's not that I don't love him madly. It's just that I write Russia very... slow? Like the predator that waits and waits and waits before finally making a move. One of the things that really worried me in this fill was that I wouldn't be able to fulfill the intensity that most people manage when they write Russia.
Fortunately, the only way to do that is to practice! 8D
I am so happy you like him. ♥
Poor Matthew. We'll definitely see more about him and Alfred in this; their relationship isn't quite the cozy one that Russia immediately assumes. (And you are absolutely right about both guesses as to why Alfred has the coat.)
Love, love, love back to the OP. T_T Thank you!
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>>Alfred is digging this whole being captive thing because now he has a captive audience. God save you, Russia. No one else will.
CAN'T WAIT.
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