Hetalia Kink meme part 10 -- CLOSED

Feb 26, 2011 14:03


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hetalia kink meme
part 10

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That's What Happened to That Atlantis Chick Part 1 [5/6] anonymous March 6 2010, 06:23:38 UTC
Veneciano and Romano were wandering around Venice one day, without a care in the world, talking about where they wanted to eat lunch.

“Oh! That’s right, Fratello, I forgot to tell you Germany’s coming over for dinner tonight.”

“Che, why do you keep inviting him over? Your house is going to start smelling like potatoes soon.”

Before Veneciano could say his comeback to that (which definitely didn’t have anything to do with pasta…) a loud splash came from the canal they were walking by, causing both Italians to scream and duck for cover behind an abandoned fruit stand.

After a few moments of nothing happening, they poked their heads out from behind the fruit stand to see a blond mermaid wearing a bikini top lounging around on the sidewalk, dipping her fins in the canal from whence she came.

“Finally after like thousands of years or something I made it back to the surface! They like, thought they could keep my down, but like, they were so wrong!”

“~Ve, she’s pretty cute Romano…”

“I saw her first!”

Their eyes locked, Veneciano’s uncharacteristically open for once. Family was family, and as true Italians they knew that family came first, unless you were dealing with the last of the pasta on the table or a cute mermaid that just popped up out of the water, then it was every man for himself.

Romano landed a fierce stomp on his brother’s foot and took a starting dash for the mermaid. Veneciano recovered quickly and pinched his brother’s ankle, causing him to trip and fall and giving him the lead. Romano fought back by jumping up and tackling him from behind, both of them falling to the ground, where they continued to wrestle for dominance.

While they were fighting, the mermaid had turned around. “Hey, can you two like, help me with something?”

“Si!” both Italians sprang up from the ground.

“Anything for someone as lovely as you,” Romano said, offering a rose he somehow had on him.

“~Ve, ask us anything!”

“It’s been like a very long time since I was in the area, so like I was wondering if Rome was still around here.”

“~Ve, you’re in Venice. Rome’s further south.”

“My house is in Rome. I’d be more than happy to take you there.”

“Hm? Your house? But like what happened to the empire?”

The Italian brother blinked, and then laughed. “That’s a good one!”

“I don’t think we’ve ever had an empire, right Fratello?”

“But there like totally was one! The Roman Empire! What like happened to it?”

“Oh? Are you talking about Grandpa?” Romano asked, “You really haven’t been to Italy in a long time…”

“G-grandpa?!”

“Si, Grandpa Rome. ~Ve, he…fell, a very long time ago.” Veneciano sniffled before burying his facing into his brother’s shirt and crying, “Why does everything I touch die?!”

“There there,” Romano comforted, “it’s not everything. Just Grandpa…and Holy Roman Empire…and that squirrel we found last week. But really, that could have happened to anyone.”

“Everything I touch dies!!”

“Um, like, you wouldn’t happen to know if he like, mentioned me at all, do you?”

The crying stopped instantly. “~Ve, who are you?”

“Atlantis. The (now undersea) Utopia of Atlantis.”

“Italy Romano, the southern half of the Italian Republic,” he pushed his brother off to kiss Atlantis’s hand, “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“I’m Italy Veneciano, the northern half of the Italian Republic!” he sprung up from the ground to hug her tightly, “Oh, I know! Since you’re new in town, you can come to my house for dinner!”

“But you’re having that potato bastard over. I’m sure Atlantis doesn’t want to associate with-”

“Well,” she said, cutting Romano off, “the only things I had planned on my return trip were to meet Rome again and get my revenge on the Accursed One, but since Rome is gone, I could always just hang out with you, Italy, before that.”

“We’re both Italy…” Romano muttered, but backed off all the same. As a true Italian man, he knew when he had lost.

“Really? You can meet Germany! He’s my best friend so I’m sure you’ll get along great.”

“You’re too cute. Since I can’t exactly walk anymore…you wouldn’t mind carrying me would you?”

“His house is right over there, you can just swim.” Yes, Romano knew he had lost, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be bitter about it.

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That's What Happened to That Atlantis Chick Part 2 [5/6] anonymous March 6 2010, 06:27:27 UTC
“~Ve, hurry up! I’m making my special pasta tonight Atlantis!”

“Just for me Italy? You shouldn’t have.”

“Well, technically I’m making it for Germany, but you can have some too!”

Veneciano was to ecstatic to notice the slightly darker look on her face as he prattled on about what good friends he and Germany were, but Romano caught it, having to deal with very similar and equally frightening looks from members of the Mafia when he was dealing with them (aka they were beating the crap out of him for one reason or another). It was jealousy, and whenever that look graced a lady’s face, well, Romano always took the initiative to get the heck out.

And as much as he hated the potato bastard and would like to see what Atlantis would do to him, he’d also seen what Belarus does to Russia, and no way was he letting anyone do that to his baby brother.

***

It was about halfway through the second course when Romano heard the knock on the door. Veneciano was too busy being Veneciano, causing Germany to be Germany and fuss over him, causing Atlantis to be Atlantis and secretly plot ways to get Germany out of the picture, so Romano excused himself (not that anyone noticed) and answered the door. He came back a few moments later, England in tow.

“Hey everyone look! England just happened to be in the area and just happened to want to stop by,” he announced, “isn’t that weird?”

Veneciano and Germany looked shocked, but greeted him in their own ways, whether by nodding slightly or giving the man a hug, a peck on the cheek, and offering him a place on the table. Atlantis just looked confused.

“So, you must be Atlantis,” England said as he sat down next to Romano on the other side of the table, “I heard from…someone who isn’t in this room right now, that you might be here…”

“That’s like the Utopia of Atlantis to you. And like who are you?”

“The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, but you can just call me England.”

“What are you doing here England?” Germany asked, getting to the point.

“Can’t a nation just randomly decide to holiday in Italy and randomly stop by an acquaintance’s house when he just so happens to have a mythical nation that sunk to the bottom of the sea millenniums ago over for dinner? Is that so odd?”

“Seriously why are you here?”

“Romano called me.”

“Bastard! You said you wouldn’t sell me out!”

“No one was buying it anyway!”

“Y-yeah, it was like, totally obvious from the get go…”

“~Ve, so England didn’t stop by because he wants my cooking?”

“I’m just here to help with Atlantis, but not because Romano asked! I’m doing this for my own reasons!”

“Like, help me with what?”

“As a member of the EU, I can’t just let you obliterate Germany off the face of the earth. He has most of the money.”

“You’re just like, trying to stand in the way of true love!”

“No, I’m trying to maintain peace. I’ve already talked it over with the Fairy Council, and apparently they decided a very long time ago that the world would be a better place if you were underwater.”

“I’d like to see you try to put me back! I’ve been waiting millennia to take my revenge and see my one true love! Like I’d let your eyebrows stop me!” She snatched Veneciano and held him close. “Just try and stop us!”
“Germany! Germany help! I’m being held hostage by a cute girl again!”

“Germany this, Germany that…why can’t you just accept my love?!”

“Let my brother go you-” England held up a hand to stop him.

“I know how you feel…over two hundred years ago the most important person in the world to me left me behind for his own stupid ideals and went on to bigger and better things. It…still hurts, when I think about it, but sometimes letting go of the ones we love is the only way to set us free.”

“You and America made up ages ago,” Romano interjected. England started choking him.

“I was trying to connect with her so she would let your brother go!”

“Well it was a stupid plan!”

“I don’t see you coming up with anything!”

“Um guys…”

“What now Germany?!”

“While you were fighting I knocked Atlantis out, tied her up, and got Ita-Veneciano to safety,” he said, gesturing to her unconscious form on the couch and the Italian eating at the table, “so you can do what you want with her now England.”

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That's What Happened to That Atlantis Chick Part 3 [5/6] anonymous March 6 2010, 06:29:52 UTC
“D-don’t make me sound like a pervert!” He grabbed Atlantis and left after a quick good-bye to Veneciano. Romano and Germany took their seats at the table and continued on with dinner as if nothing happened.

“Why can’t I ever have a normal dinner at your house?” Germany asked.

“~Ve, but isn’t it more fun this way?”

“No. Not really.”

“Well no one asked you to come!” Romano snapped.

“Italy did.”

“Damnit, we’re both Italy!”

They fought well into the night, forcing Germany to spend the night, which was just fine by Veneciano.

All in all, he considered it a good day.

A/N: Stupid character limit. I'll try to have the last one up by the end of the weekend, but I've been known to disappoint.
Captcha: end macho. Captcha wants more females...

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Re: That's What Happened to That Atlantis Chick Part 3 [5/6] anonymous March 9 2010, 23:11:46 UTC
There's moar?! *_* I luv you, anon! *o*

“Germany! Germany help! I’m being held hostage by a cute girl again!”
I almost died from lack of oxygen, anon. I hope you're happy. Because you should be.

I'm still kinda surprised that Atlantis didn't consider Romano as her Rome-replacement. Then again, she had an excuse to kill Germania's grandson by going after Veneciano, so...yeah

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They've had it too good for too long... Part 1 [6/6] anonymous March 13 2010, 07:06:26 UTC
Canada was sorting through some of the old boxes in his basement when a peculiar lava lamp fell out of one of them. Not quite remembering where he acquired it, he picked it up to examine it and noticed that it was quite dusty. Naturally, he wiped the dust off, never expecting that a genie would pop out.

“Hey hey, it’s your lucky day!” the genie exclaimed. “You, my friend, have found your very own genie! The name’s Norm and you get three wishes.”

“Uh…”

“It’s fine, take your time. I’m not in a rush to get back in there, you know…”

“…”

“You have no idea what to wish for do you?”

“Sorry, is it alright if I think about it for a few days?”

“Sure, take all the time you need. If you need me, I’ll be raiding your fridge.” With a snap of his fingers he was gone.

A week passed and Canada still couldn’t think of a wish. Norm had been living in his house the whole time, basically being the worst housemate ever in an attempt to get him to make a wish.

“Who?” Kumajiro asked as Canada feed him.

“Canada.”

“Doesn’t that ever get you down?” Norm asked, pigging out on pancakes. “I know, since you have a magic genie at your disposal and still haven’t used any of your wishes yet, you can wish that your bear thing remembered you!”

“But then he might remember me for all the wrong reasons,” the nation replied, “Besides, I know he’s just kidding. It’s just our little inside joke I suppose.”

“Sheesh, does anything get you down? While you’re thinking of a wish, make me more pancakes.” Just then there was a knock on the door. “Get that after you make me pancakes.”

“Hold on, it could be important.” Canada left the kitchen and opened the door, revealing his brother.

“Hey, guess what?” America said, letting himself in, “I’ve found a way to stop global warming!”

“…really?”

“Why so skeptical? This time it’ll work for sure! Are you making pancakes?” He wandered into the kitchen and stopped when he saw Norm at the table. “Who’s the floaty guy?”

“His name’s Norm. He’s a genie I found in the basement.”

“Cool! So what did you wish for and can I have it?”

“He hasn’t wished for anything yet, or else I would have blown this Popsicle stand ages ago! Did you know nothing ever happens in Canada? All it does is snow!”

“Hahaha! That is so true. Except that one time in Vancouver when it didn’t snow. Anyway, about those pancakes…”

“They’re almost done. Why don’t you take a seat at the table?”

“And maybe you can help Mr. My-Life-Is-Perfect think of some decent wishes, hm?”

“Well, if it were me, I’d wish for the Middle East to sort itself out.”

“I’ve thought about it,” Canada explained, giving them both pancakes, “but then conflict would just pop up somewhere else. You know it always does.”

“Hmmmm…how about several trillion dollars so I can fix the economy?”

“That sounds good. I do love money wishes!”

“The money has to come from somewhere, so you either have to steal that large sum from the people or print it off, and if you print that much at once, inflation will happen.”

“How about world peace? You can’t go wrong with world peace.”

“Then we’ll probably get attacked by aliens or something.”

“…That sounds awesome!”

“You’re brother is kinda…” Norm made a vague hand gesture, “I know! You can wish him better! Make him smarter, faster, stronger, and more concerned with his actions!”

“What?! You wanna change me?” America looked at Canada like he was about to cry.

“No no! You’re family and I love you the way you-”

“Of course he does! You’re annoying.” Norm butted in. “Seriously, I can change him no problem. Just say the word.”

America hid his eyes under his bangs and went silent, which Canada knew was definitely not a good thing.

“Sorry for wasting your time.” Without another word, he left.

“Why would you say that?! I don’t hate him!”

“What? I’m just saying…”

“Now he probably won’t talk to me for a while…he can get so paranoid and defensive.”

A few more weeks passed in which Canada continued with his life as normal while Norm at all his food and bugged him to make a wish.

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They've had it too good for too long... Part 2 [6/6] anonymous March 13 2010, 07:10:36 UTC
“Why don’t you wish for a vacation? Or at least go somewhere! I’m tired of being cooped up in this house all day.”

“Well, I haven’t been to Cuba in a while…”

“Perfect, wish for a Cuban vacation! And take me with you!”

“Why would I wish for it when Cuba already invited me? He’s been bugging me to come down for a while…you can come too if you want…”

“…sometimes I hate you…”

Norm and Canada had a fantastic time in Cuba as soon as he figured out that it wasn’t America trying to invade his shores with some floaty guy. Ice cream and good times were had by all when that misunderstanding was cleared up, until Norm got them kicked out of the country…

“Seriously, I didn’t know she was actually a guy. Anyway, about those wishes…”

“I can’t think of anything yet.”

“What about socks? Who doesn’t love socks? Can’t have enough socks.”

“I have plenty of socks…”

“You could always use more!”

“I don’t need more…”

“That you know of.”

“…What did you do to my socks Norm?”

“You need to wish for something, I’m just trying to speed things up a bit.”

“Norm…”

“Hey Canada!” A voice shouted from the hallway, “I haven’t seen you in weeks and I’m out of maple syrup, which is not awesome!” Prussia found his way into the living room where Canada and Norm were talking. “What’s with the floaty guy?”

“This is Norm, the genie.”

“So what did you wish for and can I have it?”

“Nothing! It’s been almost a month and he hasn’t made one wish yet!” Norm sighed, “Most clients are done by the end of the day, but you…”

“I don’t really need anything I can’t get myself…sorry.”

“S’not your fault kid,” Prussia slung an arm around his shoulder, “You’re friends with me after all, what else could you possibly want out of life? How about you wish us up some beer?”

“I have some in the fridge; I don’t need to wish for it…”

“Well then how about-”

“I can’t make you your own country again. I’d have to get the land from somewhere.”

“I don’t see the problem there…”

“Me neither. So one country of Prussia coming up?”

“That land would most likely come from Germany…”

“…never mind. I don’t want it.”

“What!? C’mon guys I need some wishes here!”

“I’m sorry Norm…I just can’t think of anything.”

“Then why don’t you just let him go?” Prussia asked.

“Hm?”

“What?”

“If you don’t need him, then get rid of him! He’s cramping your style anyway.”

“Whoa there Mr. I-Just-Showed-Up, it doesn’t work like that!” Norm explained, “I can’t go away until I get there wishes out of him.”

“Then just wish him away.”

Canada and Norm stared at him. “Pardon?”

“Yeah, if you don’t need him then just wish that he’d go away, unless you like having him around?”

“Not really, he kind of just yells at me and eats my food…”

“Hey! No need to go that far, the genie union doesn’t look too kindly on being wished away…wouldn’t you rather have a pony or something instead?”

“I don’t think a pony would do very well in Canada…”

“Then wish for a snow pony! Something, anything!”

“He is getting annoying, even with someone as awesome as me being here,”

Prussia sighed, “Just wish him away and out of your hair. Let him be someone else’s problem.”

“What? No! You can’t do this to me! There has to be something you want, anything at all! No strings attached, I swear!”

“Bull. There’s always a catch. Toss ‘im out, Canada.”

“I don’t remember when you started making all of Canada’s decisions for him.”

“What?”

“I mean, he is a grown nation, I think he can decide this on his own…”

“I’m not deciding anything! I’m just giving him some of my awesome advice!”

Their shouting grew louder and louder until Canada couldn’t take it anymore.

“I wish you both would just shut up!”

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They've had it too good for too long... Part 3 [6/6] anonymous March 13 2010, 07:12:57 UTC
Prussia and Norm both stopped and stared at the blond, who was panting and quite angry.

“That counts, even if I didn’t use magic.”

“I said shut up! Count it if you want, I don’t care! My life was fine until you showed up in it! I don’t need any wishes!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. No one’s life is perfect.”

“Yeah, most of the time people forget about me or confuse me for my brother. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s mine, and I like it just the way it is, or more accurately the way it was before you showed up. Now I’ve been banned from Cuba and my brother won’t talk to me!”

“Well, you can’t change the past you know…you could wish it all better. You still have two left!”

Prussia smirked and took a seat, choosing to simply watch the show rather than get involved.

“Yes…I think I will just wish it better.” Canada looked Norm in the eye and smiled in a way that would creep even Russia out. “I wish I never found you.”

Norm blinked, “Ah smoof, the Union isn’t going to like this…” and snapped his fingers.

Canada was sorting through some of the old boxes in his basement when a peculiar lava lamp fell out of one of them. Not quite remembering where he acquired it, he picked it up to examine it and noticed that it was quite dusty. Instead of wiping it off, he simply threw it out with the rest of the trash and went about his completely normal day.

Recaptcha: that upsets. I'm sorry recaptcha. I'll do better next time.

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Re: They've had it too good for too long... Part 3 [6/6] anonymous March 13 2010, 20:15:44 UTC
OH MY GOD, HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT NORM?!?! :O
*headdesk* I'm a failure!!! ;_;

Anyway, this totally explains why Norm doesn't seem to like Canada too much. He wished him away after all.

“I can’t make you your own country again. I’d have to get the land from somewhere.”

“I don’t see the problem there…”

“Me neither. So one country of Prussia coming up?”

“That land would most likely come from Germany…”

“…never mind. I don’t want it.”

Aww, Prussia really is a nice older brother ♥

So yeah, this fill is made of win. :)

Recaptcha: toyota advice. I think recaptcha would have been happier if Japan had guest starred.

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Re: They've had it too good for too long... Part 3 [6/6] anonymous March 14 2010, 00:49:48 UTC
Brilliant, Canada, brilliant. The one Nation Norm gets stuck with and it's a levelheaded one who recognizes all the catches involved with wishing. The world got super lucky there. XD

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OP REWARDS THE GENRE SAVVYNESS... WITH FANCERVICE *cue the chippendales* anonymous March 15 2010, 00:58:13 UTC
So... such a good ending... and now we know why Norm hates poor Canada too much. And Canada pwns everyone with the power of normalcy and genre savvyness.
Ah, Prussia, you're a good big brother... *melts*
Good job writer!anon! ♥ Never thought I would be rewarded so generously!

(Recaptcha says "and grannies". Well, don't deny that everybody and their grandmother would enjoyed this fill)

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