"Not that kind of slash!" [1/?]
anonymous
March 4 2010, 23:02:44 UTC
Author!anon should have been writing a research paper, but then happened to see this request... Well, surely it's illegal to leave something like this unfilled, right? (My teacher is not going to be amused)
I have a very bad habit of trying to make crack look normal... But in this case, it'll probably contribute even more to the crack. But it's all in the good name of Billy Mays, so it's all good.
... so this would be the definition of Rule 34, yes? I think it would.
---
“Wait just a moment,” Austria said, making a grab for the remote. “Could you please rewind back to that previous commercial?”
“What do you want to rewind for? Some pansy thing or something?” Prussia couldn't help commenting, but pressed the yellow button anyways. After much deliberation, Austria had finally decided to get a DVR for his house. Prussia had some experience with those things, mostly from crashing at Canada's place while he was watching a round of hockey. However, he had never had one of his very own, mostly since West refused to get one (something about endless pasta recordings or whatnot). So, when he heard that his dear friend Roderich got one, of course there was only one logical thing to do. Which was to go bother him and watch some TV, of course.
Austria shot an irritated look at him. “No, it is not “some pansy thing”, as you so eloquently put it. I was merely intrigued by the commercial that was just shown, and want to explore the matter further.”
“S'fine with me, but-”
“Stop! There!”
Prussia jerked, startled by Austria's sudden outburst. A quick glance to the screen, however, told him that this was the commercial that he had wanted to see so badly. He pushed the green triangular “play” button, wondering what exactly could have provoked such a reaction-
“ARE YOU ON THE BALL!?” blasted out of the speakers, almost knocking Prussia backwards. “It's new OxiClean® detergent! Get on the ball, and you'll never have to pour or measure detergent again!”
“...what the hell.” On the screen was a man with dark brown hair and a mustache-beard that... well, Prussia thought it made him look extremely dorky and un-awesome. He was wearing a blue button-up shirt with the logo of the product he was advertising, OxiClean®, plastered on the top right corner, near the sleeve. He looked kind of familiar, like Prussia had seen him before but couldn't quite place exactly where... probably in another commercial at Canada's place.
And. He. Just. Wouldn't. Shut. Up.
“Roddy, this has got to be the most-” He trailed off in mid-sentence after seeing Austria's expression, one of sheer admiration and reverence. Mariazell bobbed up and down as he nodded fervently at almost everything the guy on TV said or did, never once taking his eyes off the moving screen. The only other time Prussia had seen him like that was when... well, never, actually.
After what seemed like the longest commercial ever, Prussia paused, and turned to face Austria, who was still gaping like a goldfish. “Eh, Rod... what the hell was that!?”
Austria mumbled something to himself, and it took an awesome whack on the back to get him to talk.
“How... he was so passionate about his cause...” the nation finally said, his voice sounding far away. “And the mere idea of using compact balls to wash laundry instead of that bulky detergent... 100 loads of laundry, mein Gott...”
“It's a freaking commercial! He's supposed to act like that!” Prussia yelled, shaking his shoulder to try and make him see sense. Which was completely uncharacteristic of him. This must be serious.
“You don't understand, though! All those people in the other commercials... none of them had that same conviction as he did. Completely blew me away... 100 loads...”
Now Prussia was starting to freak out. “Jeez, man, you're making it sound like you're in love with the guy! Snap out of it!”
However, Austria just continued to stare vacantly for a few minutes before finally whispering, maybe to answer or to himself or just to the thin air:
“I think I am.”
Captcha says "particularly roundly". Well, Billy Mays was a little bit pudgy, Captcha...
I have a very bad habit of trying to make crack look normal... But in this case, it'll probably contribute even more to the crack. But it's all in the good name of Billy Mays, so it's all good.
... so this would be the definition of Rule 34, yes? I think it would.
---
“Wait just a moment,” Austria said, making a grab for the remote. “Could you please rewind back to that previous commercial?”
“What do you want to rewind for? Some pansy thing or something?” Prussia couldn't help commenting, but pressed the yellow button anyways. After much deliberation, Austria had finally decided to get a DVR for his house. Prussia had some experience with those things, mostly from crashing at Canada's place while he was watching a round of hockey. However, he had never had one of his very own, mostly since West refused to get one (something about endless pasta recordings or whatnot). So, when he heard that his dear friend Roderich got one, of course there was only one logical thing to do. Which was to go bother him and watch some TV, of course.
Austria shot an irritated look at him. “No, it is not “some pansy thing”, as you so eloquently put it. I was merely intrigued by the commercial that was just shown, and want to explore the matter further.”
“S'fine with me, but-”
“Stop! There!”
Prussia jerked, startled by Austria's sudden outburst. A quick glance to the screen, however, told him that this was the commercial that he had wanted to see so badly. He pushed the green triangular “play” button, wondering what exactly could have provoked such a reaction-
“ARE YOU ON THE BALL!?” blasted out of the speakers, almost knocking Prussia backwards. “It's new OxiClean® detergent! Get on the ball, and you'll never have to pour or measure detergent again!”
“...what the hell.” On the screen was a man with dark brown hair and a mustache-beard that... well, Prussia thought it made him look extremely dorky and un-awesome. He was wearing a blue button-up shirt with the logo of the product he was advertising, OxiClean®, plastered on the top right corner, near the sleeve. He looked kind of familiar, like Prussia had seen him before but couldn't quite place exactly where... probably in another commercial at Canada's place.
And. He. Just. Wouldn't. Shut. Up.
“Roddy, this has got to be the most-” He trailed off in mid-sentence after seeing Austria's expression, one of sheer admiration and reverence. Mariazell bobbed up and down as he nodded fervently at almost everything the guy on TV said or did, never once taking his eyes off the moving screen. The only other time Prussia had seen him like that was when... well, never, actually.
After what seemed like the longest commercial ever, Prussia paused, and turned to face Austria, who was still gaping like a goldfish. “Eh, Rod... what the hell was that!?”
Austria mumbled something to himself, and it took an awesome whack on the back to get him to talk.
“How... he was so passionate about his cause...” the nation finally said, his voice sounding far away. “And the mere idea of using compact balls to wash laundry instead of that bulky detergent... 100 loads of laundry, mein Gott...”
“It's a freaking commercial! He's supposed to act like that!” Prussia yelled, shaking his shoulder to try and make him see sense. Which was completely uncharacteristic of him. This must be serious.
“You don't understand, though! All those people in the other commercials... none of them had that same conviction as he did. Completely blew me away... 100 loads...”
Now Prussia was starting to freak out. “Jeez, man, you're making it sound like you're in love with the guy! Snap out of it!”
However, Austria just continued to stare vacantly for a few minutes before finally whispering, maybe to answer or to himself or just to the thin air:
“I think I am.”
Captcha says "particularly roundly". Well, Billy Mays was a little bit pudgy, Captcha...
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/offers ring
I'm afraid it'll take a while for all of my worldly possesions to arrive at your doorstep.
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