Scandinavia and the Perkele [Part 1 the Prologue]
anonymous
March 3 2010, 21:23:47 UTC
Ahem. I know this is as old as time but it's the "LET'S SWITCH THESE CHARAS AROUND 8D" pattern. Because this is the first idea I had when I saw the title. xD "F-Finland? What happened to you?!"
So yeah, Finlands get changed around. Err... I'll refer to Hetalia!Finland as Timo (not Tino because... never mind, I think you all know by now) so you can tell them apart but the charas will still use country names. (Because most of the Nordics don't HAVE human names, you know. >_>;;)
If I get around to writing more, maybe I'll have others switched around too, we'll see.
~~~
It was a dark and stormy night and the Witches of Fanfiction were bored.
It was definitely not the first time Timo had woken up without knowing where he was or what exactly had happened for him to be there.
So they took out their magical Book of Fandoms.
But usually those times he had been out drinking with Estonia. (Well, it was he who usually did most of the actual drinking while Estonia tried to save Tallinn from his drunken antics.) And he usually had a bigger headache.
And they performed the Rite of the Cross of Over.
He could tell he was on a ship, or a boat. It was easy enough to figure out; it was either that or his situation was worse than he thought and he was only imagining that the world was swinging back and forth.
He sat up and found that a) he was in a decent condition as far as he could tell, though a bit light-headed, and b) he was in a bunk bed, in a small cabin he didn't recognize. It wasn't one of the usual big cruisers on the Baltic Sea, that much he could tell. It seemed more like a private yacht or something like that.
Oh and he also appeared to be naked. Oddly enough there were pajamas under him in the bed. Perhaps he hadn't just gotten around to putting them on then. He drew the bottoms on to at least have something on (they were blue and white, and looked funnily like his flag) and climbed down...
... stumbling onto someone sleeping in the lower bed.
He yelped in surprise and tried to get up but instead found himself staring into two frowning eyes and something that was too close to his face to make out but seemed like something very sharp. He decided it was best not to make sudden movements.
"Uhm.... I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I'll just..."
The pair of eyes squinted at him but their owner didn't say a word.
"Uhm... Sorry... Can I get up now...?" Timo tried carefully.
More staring. Then the person under him nodded. And poked -- supposedly meaning to be gentle -- him with the knife. It was a puukko, Timo noticed. He quickly crawled out of the bed and backed off with his hands held up, just to be safe.
The stranger sat up with a grunt. She was a woman, and she was wearing a similar white-and-blue nightdress as the pajama bottoms he had on. He could tell she was one of his citizens-- no, there was something strange. It was his turn to frown. She felt like a nation. But... she couldn't be...?
She did remind him a bit of Pohjanmaa, though. Must have been the puukko.
"Who are you?" he asked without thinking. Then his mind returned to the situation and he stuttered a hasty apology. "S-sorry I fell on you! I didn't mean to intrude, I'm sorry, I just woke up here and... Uhm... Could you tell me where this is... please?"
The woman just stared at him. It was impossible to read her face and he was beginning to realize he wasn't going to have an easy time with this person.
~~~
"... Hey, Norway," Denmark said, being the first to survive the shock. "Was that you?"
"... No," Norway replied.
Sweden gaped, looking horrified. "... F-Fin?"
Finland saw the four strangers in a strange room, all gathered around for a nice meal together.
He was sitting there with them. And he was stark naked.
Both his knife and his bottle were gone.
"Perkele."
~~~
Notes: Pohjanmaa is a province in Finland. Or three provinces or something like that. Don't quote me on that. >__>;
Re: Scandinavia and the Perkele [Part 1 the Prologue]
anonymous
March 26 2010, 01:46:53 UTC
\o/ Thank you~
And thank you for your own fill too. I hope you're going to continue because I'm enjoying it a lot. ^__^; Trying hard not to steal any of your ideas...
A fangirling OPanon
anonymous
March 4 2010, 14:21:39 UTC
I WANT TO HUG ALL OF YOU! This is so so so awesome, I feel so lucky! Both of you have covered everything that I even fleetingly thought of - it's awesome!
Seriously, you guys have made my week. I was all tired and shitty BUT NOW I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE THERE IS STILL LOVE AND FREEDOM AND CRISTMAS GOODWILL IN THE WORLD SO NOW I BELIEVE IN SANTA ALL OVER AGAIN AND THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN RESTORED.
No, wait, that's the plotline of this summer's blockbuster/required Christmas movie~.
Scandinavia and the Perkele [Part 2a]
anonymous
March 26 2010, 01:35:10 UTC
I'm sorry this took me so long! ;__; Oh god, I'm so slow at writing... and I got a huge writer's block for weeks and all. But I'm trying to finish this one! Erm... even though I don't even have a plot yet so I don't know what finishing it means. :D;
It had been a while since Tino had been walked with a knife on his back, what with decades of peace and all. The mysterious woman still hadn't said a word but he had deduced enough from the grunts and swings of the puukko to figure out that she wanted him to go somewhere and he decided that obeying would be the smartest thing to do for now. The boat was indeed a big one, almost like a small cruiser. He wondered who owned it and if any possible other people on board were more vocal.
"Finland!" someone shouted then. "Fiiiinlaaaand!"
"Yes?" He replied automatically, wondering how this person knew who he was and that he was there.
The voice had come from above but Tino hadn't really expected a hatch to open right above his head and a bunch of legs and arms to fall onto him.
"Oops!" said the young man who was now sitting on top of him, sounding rather too cheerful for the situation. "Sorry there! Oh good morning, Sister Finland! Oh my god, is Finland still sleeping? I mean, even Norway's already up! I just came back from a morning swim with my sister, you know, it's a gorgeous day today!" He got up while he talked and helped the moaning Tino up with a strong pull that almost ripped the Finn's arm off. "Hey, who's this handsome fellow?"
Tino rubbed his hurting shoulder and looked up at the two strangers. The woman was still pointing the knife at him, though thankfully she was standing farther now. Beside her was a lean, tall man whose grinning face would probably outshine the sun. The man was in great trim and had a pretty, pale face and fair, flaxen hair that was still wet from the swim. For some reason, Tino thought he looked a bit like Iceland, only taller, older and definitely happier. He was wearing blue-white-red striped running shorts and a white T-shirt.
"Uh... h-hello..." Tino stuttered.
"Hi!" the man said, offering a hand, which Tino took, and gave him an enthusiastic handshake. "I'm Iceland! Nice to meet you! Are you a friend of Finland's?"
"Ice? B-but..." Tino gaped. "But I know Iceland and..."
"Oh, you know my sister?" The so-called Iceland interrupted him. "She's so awesome, I know! She's here too, she's making breakfast with Sweden and Sister Norway!" Then he looked around and turned to the scary knife-woman. "But hey, where's your brother, Sister Finland?"
"No, I... But I'm Finland," Tino said weakly.
The strange Iceland turned back to look at him. "What?"
"I'm Finland. And I know an Iceland too but... he's not you. And he's nobody's sister either..." Tino smiled sheepishly.
The man stared at him. "Whoah. Okay, this is weird. You aren't joking, are ya?"
"No... I'm just as confused as you are... I just suddenly woke up here and I don't know how I got to this place..."
"Oookay..." The man turned back to the woman. "Sister Finland, do you know what's going on?"
The woman glared at him.
"I think that's a no. Let's go ask Sweden!" Without further ado, the man just jumped up and climbed out from the same hatch he'd dropped down from -- in what Tino could swear was less than two seconds. "You two coming?"
Tino looked at the woman. She frowned (but then again, that seemed to be her default expression) and pointed at him with the knife again (which also seemed to be her default, in fact). He sighed. "Alright... uhm, do you have a ladder here somewhere?"
Scandinavia and the Perkele [Part 2b]
anonymous
March 26 2010, 01:43:57 UTC
"Hey, who the hell are you?" Iceland asked the weird naked man that had just appeared out of nowhere, replacing Finland.
The man grunted. Then he picked up Finland's knife from the table, tested its sharpness and -- finding it dull -- staring at it sadly.
"I asked who the hell are you?" Iceland repeated, starting to sound annoyed. "If ya don't answer, I'm gonna get Den's gun and ask ya again."
"I dun' have a gun anymore, actually," Denmark pointed out cheerfully. "My bosses are pretty strict 'bout 'em."
"Great," Norway commented dryly. "What would ye do if ye got attacked?"
Denmark shrugged and gave him a feral grin. "I still have me axe. Thanks for worrying 'bout me anyway, Nor!"
"I wasn't."
"Hey and besides, do ye even know how t' use a gun, Ice?"
"Shut up."
Sweden jerked up and banged his fists on the poor helpless table. "Where's Fin?" He glared at the strange man with a mixture of anger and panic.
The man pointed the rather unthreatening knife at him and glared. Then he seemed to think better of it and pointed at his chest with his other hand's thumb.
The four Nordics stared at him.
"Ye ate 'im?" Denmark suggested and got punched on the head by Norway. "Ouch! Hey, easy! Ye almost hurt me!"
"That was the point," Norway pointed out calmly.
Sweden, however, looked horrified. He gaped at Denmark and then decisively grabbed his own knife and pointed it back at the stranger. "Giv'im back!" he growled.
The man grunted back at him and stood up as well, looking ready for a fight.
Norway sighed and pulled his old talisman pendant from under his shirt. He automatically checked the location of the sun from the window and compared it to the time and then placed the talisman on the table, pointing at the approximate direction of North. For the lack of better tools at hand, he dug out a few coins from his pocket and threw them in the air.
"Err... Nor? What the hell are ye doin'?" Denmark asked blankly. "Aw shit, there's a coin in me smørrebrød now!" He lifted his hand to pick it up but was slapped away by Norway. "Ow, what now?"
"Shut up, Den. He's doing a reading," Iceland said as Norway circled the table, checking where each coin had fallen and counting the distances with his hand.
Denmark and Iceland watched him while Sweden and the stranger were still busy having a staring contest. Finally he collected the coins back (wiping the one that had fallen in Denmark's food to the tablecloth) and said: "Fin got switched with this guy. I think he's an alternate world's version of Fin or somethin'. I can check it later when I've got time and the tools to do the whole ritual."
Even the knife-wielding pair stared at him now.
"... Wot?" Denmark broke the short silence.
"I thought so," Iceland said.
"Ye thought so?!"
Sweden had turned back at the alternate Finland and looked like he was about to have a heart attack. The alternate Finland just glared at Norway for a minute but finally nodded with a grunt, implying that the theory was probably correct.
Sweden made a tiny noise that was probably the highest note he had produced from his mouth since the thirteenth century and fell stiffly down on the floor like a cut tree.
The Finland scratched his head, looking down at his fallen opponent. Then he found Tino's clothes on the floor, picked them up and measured them with his eyes. A bit small but they'd do. He started pulling them on.
"How the hell is that Fin?" Denmark protested pointing at the guy.
Norway and Iceland shrugged in unison.
Denmark slapped his palm to his forehead. "Okay, I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm ready t' believe anything if I'm drunk enough."
~~~
Oh god, I have no idea how to do different accents... sorry if I fail totally at them, and tell me please so I can fix them. ;;; And I also realized this is my first time writing the Nordics AFTER the strips with the quintet came out. I'm still trying to get used to the characterizations.
Re: Scandinavia and the Perkele [Part 2b]
anonymous
March 27 2010, 15:36:06 UTC
Haha! Oh man, this just keeps getting funnier and funnier! An APH!Sweden vs. SATW!Finland showdown? Awesome.
One of the greatest things about this is that the two Finland's aren't really all that different. Of course one of them talks and the other doesn't, but they can both get sorta violent, and they both like saunas... As for the drinking, our Fin may not always have a beer around, but he's a binge drinker when he does drink. (Although that's headcanon...) And he certainly would be able to use a puukko if he had to - it's just that he prefers snipering.
Yep, not too different. But that's what makes this even funnier!
(The accents seem a bit weird, but I'm just used to seeing them without any, so I don't know if they're right or not.)
So yeah, Finlands get changed around. Err... I'll refer to Hetalia!Finland as Timo (not Tino because... never mind, I think you all know by now) so you can tell them apart but the charas will still use country names. (Because most of the Nordics don't HAVE human names, you know. >_>;;)
If I get around to writing more, maybe I'll have others switched around too, we'll see.
~~~
It was a dark and stormy night and the Witches of Fanfiction were bored.
It was definitely not the first time Timo had woken up without knowing where he was or what exactly had happened for him to be there.
So they took out their magical Book of Fandoms.
But usually those times he had been out drinking with Estonia. (Well, it was he who usually did most of the actual drinking while Estonia tried to save Tallinn from his drunken antics.) And he usually had a bigger headache.
And they performed the Rite of the Cross of Over.
He could tell he was on a ship, or a boat. It was easy enough to figure out; it was either that or his situation was worse than he thought and he was only imagining that the world was swinging back and forth.
He sat up and found that a) he was in a decent condition as far as he could tell, though a bit light-headed, and b) he was in a bunk bed, in a small cabin he didn't recognize. It wasn't one of the usual big cruisers on the Baltic Sea, that much he could tell. It seemed more like a private yacht or something like that.
Oh and he also appeared to be naked. Oddly enough there were pajamas under him in the bed. Perhaps he hadn't just gotten around to putting them on then. He drew the bottoms on to at least have something on (they were blue and white, and looked funnily like his flag) and climbed down...
... stumbling onto someone sleeping in the lower bed.
He yelped in surprise and tried to get up but instead found himself staring into two frowning eyes and something that was too close to his face to make out but seemed like something very sharp. He decided it was best not to make sudden movements.
"Uhm.... I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I'll just..."
The pair of eyes squinted at him but their owner didn't say a word.
"Uhm... Sorry... Can I get up now...?" Timo tried carefully.
More staring. Then the person under him nodded. And poked -- supposedly meaning to be gentle -- him with the knife. It was a puukko, Timo noticed. He quickly crawled out of the bed and backed off with his hands held up, just to be safe.
The stranger sat up with a grunt. She was a woman, and she was wearing a similar white-and-blue nightdress as the pajama bottoms he had on. He could tell she was one of his citizens-- no, there was something strange. It was his turn to frown. She felt like a nation. But... she couldn't be...?
She did remind him a bit of Pohjanmaa, though. Must have been the puukko.
"Who are you?" he asked without thinking. Then his mind returned to the situation and he stuttered a hasty apology. "S-sorry I fell on you! I didn't mean to intrude, I'm sorry, I just woke up here and... Uhm... Could you tell me where this is... please?"
The woman just stared at him. It was impossible to read her face and he was beginning to realize he wasn't going to have an easy time with this person.
~~~
"... Hey, Norway," Denmark said, being the first to survive the shock. "Was that you?"
"... No," Norway replied.
Sweden gaped, looking horrified. "... F-Fin?"
Finland saw the four strangers in a strange room, all gathered around for a nice meal together.
He was sitting there with them. And he was stark naked.
Both his knife and his bottle were gone.
"Perkele."
~~~
Notes: Pohjanmaa is a province in Finland. Or three provinces or something like that. Don't quote me on that. >__>;
Also, have a random art!fill that doesn't really have anything to do with the fic, directly: http://i45.tinypic.com/5wjrbm.png
Reply
Reply
And thank you for your own fill too. I hope you're going to continue because I'm enjoying it a lot. ^__^; Trying hard not to steal any of your ideas...
Reply
Seriously, you guys have made my week. I was all tired and shitty BUT NOW I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE THERE IS STILL LOVE AND FREEDOM AND CRISTMAS GOODWILL IN THE WORLD SO NOW I BELIEVE IN SANTA ALL OVER AGAIN AND THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN RESTORED.
No, wait, that's the plotline of this summer's blockbuster/required Christmas movie~.
So much love for you guys~.
OP DEMANDS A GROUP HUG.
Reply
Reply
*hugs too*
Reply
It had been a while since Tino had been walked with a knife on his back, what with decades of peace and all. The mysterious woman still hadn't said a word but he had deduced enough from the grunts and swings of the puukko to figure out that she wanted him to go somewhere and he decided that obeying would be the smartest thing to do for now. The boat was indeed a big one, almost like a small cruiser. He wondered who owned it and if any possible other people on board were more vocal.
"Finland!" someone shouted then. "Fiiiinlaaaand!"
"Yes?" He replied automatically, wondering how this person knew who he was and that he was there.
The voice had come from above but Tino hadn't really expected a hatch to open right above his head and a bunch of legs and arms to fall onto him.
"Oops!" said the young man who was now sitting on top of him, sounding rather too cheerful for the situation. "Sorry there! Oh good morning, Sister Finland! Oh my god, is Finland still sleeping? I mean, even Norway's already up! I just came back from a morning swim with my sister, you know, it's a gorgeous day today!" He got up while he talked and helped the moaning Tino up with a strong pull that almost ripped the Finn's arm off. "Hey, who's this handsome fellow?"
Tino rubbed his hurting shoulder and looked up at the two strangers. The woman was still pointing the knife at him, though thankfully she was standing farther now. Beside her was a lean, tall man whose grinning face would probably outshine the sun. The man was in great trim and had a pretty, pale face and fair, flaxen hair that was still wet from the swim. For some reason, Tino thought he looked a bit like Iceland, only taller, older and definitely happier. He was wearing blue-white-red striped running shorts and a white T-shirt.
"Uh... h-hello..." Tino stuttered.
"Hi!" the man said, offering a hand, which Tino took, and gave him an enthusiastic handshake. "I'm Iceland! Nice to meet you! Are you a friend of Finland's?"
"Ice? B-but..." Tino gaped. "But I know Iceland and..."
"Oh, you know my sister?" The so-called Iceland interrupted him. "She's so awesome, I know! She's here too, she's making breakfast with Sweden and Sister Norway!" Then he looked around and turned to the scary knife-woman. "But hey, where's your brother, Sister Finland?"
"No, I... But I'm Finland," Tino said weakly.
The strange Iceland turned back to look at him. "What?"
"I'm Finland. And I know an Iceland too but... he's not you. And he's nobody's sister either..." Tino smiled sheepishly.
The man stared at him. "Whoah. Okay, this is weird. You aren't joking, are ya?"
"No... I'm just as confused as you are... I just suddenly woke up here and I don't know how I got to this place..."
"Oookay..." The man turned back to the woman. "Sister Finland, do you know what's going on?"
The woman glared at him.
"I think that's a no. Let's go ask Sweden!" Without further ado, the man just jumped up and climbed out from the same hatch he'd dropped down from -- in what Tino could swear was less than two seconds. "You two coming?"
Tino looked at the woman. She frowned (but then again, that seemed to be her default expression) and pointed at him with the knife again (which also seemed to be her default, in fact). He sighed. "Alright... uhm, do you have a ladder here somewhere?"
~~~
Reply
The man grunted. Then he picked up Finland's knife from the table, tested its sharpness and -- finding it dull -- staring at it sadly.
"I asked who the hell are you?" Iceland repeated, starting to sound annoyed. "If ya don't answer, I'm gonna get Den's gun and ask ya again."
"I dun' have a gun anymore, actually," Denmark pointed out cheerfully. "My bosses are pretty strict 'bout 'em."
"Great," Norway commented dryly. "What would ye do if ye got attacked?"
Denmark shrugged and gave him a feral grin. "I still have me axe. Thanks for worrying 'bout me anyway, Nor!"
"I wasn't."
"Hey and besides, do ye even know how t' use a gun, Ice?"
"Shut up."
Sweden jerked up and banged his fists on the poor helpless table. "Where's Fin?" He glared at the strange man with a mixture of anger and panic.
The man pointed the rather unthreatening knife at him and glared. Then he seemed to think better of it and pointed at his chest with his other hand's thumb.
The four Nordics stared at him.
"Ye ate 'im?" Denmark suggested and got punched on the head by Norway. "Ouch! Hey, easy! Ye almost hurt me!"
"That was the point," Norway pointed out calmly.
Sweden, however, looked horrified. He gaped at Denmark and then decisively grabbed his own knife and pointed it back at the stranger. "Giv'im back!" he growled.
The man grunted back at him and stood up as well, looking ready for a fight.
Norway sighed and pulled his old talisman pendant from under his shirt. He automatically checked the location of the sun from the window and compared it to the time and then placed the talisman on the table, pointing at the approximate direction of North. For the lack of better tools at hand, he dug out a few coins from his pocket and threw them in the air.
"Err... Nor? What the hell are ye doin'?" Denmark asked blankly. "Aw shit, there's a coin in me smørrebrød now!" He lifted his hand to pick it up but was slapped away by Norway. "Ow, what now?"
"Shut up, Den. He's doing a reading," Iceland said as Norway circled the table, checking where each coin had fallen and counting the distances with his hand.
Denmark and Iceland watched him while Sweden and the stranger were still busy having a staring contest. Finally he collected the coins back (wiping the one that had fallen in Denmark's food to the tablecloth) and said: "Fin got switched with this guy. I think he's an alternate world's version of Fin or somethin'. I can check it later when I've got time and the tools to do the whole ritual."
Even the knife-wielding pair stared at him now.
"... Wot?" Denmark broke the short silence.
"I thought so," Iceland said.
"Ye thought so?!"
Sweden had turned back at the alternate Finland and looked like he was about to have a heart attack. The alternate Finland just glared at Norway for a minute but finally nodded with a grunt, implying that the theory was probably correct.
Sweden made a tiny noise that was probably the highest note he had produced from his mouth since the thirteenth century and fell stiffly down on the floor like a cut tree.
The Finland scratched his head, looking down at his fallen opponent. Then he found Tino's clothes on the floor, picked them up and measured them with his eyes. A bit small but they'd do. He started pulling them on.
"How the hell is that Fin?" Denmark protested pointing at the guy.
Norway and Iceland shrugged in unison.
Denmark slapped his palm to his forehead. "Okay, I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm ready t' believe anything if I'm drunk enough."
~~~
Oh god, I have no idea how to do different accents... sorry if I fail totally at them, and tell me please so I can fix them. ;;; And I also realized this is my first time writing the Nordics AFTER the strips with the quintet came out. I'm still trying to get used to the characterizations.
Reply
One of the greatest things about this is that the two Finland's aren't really all that different. Of course one of them talks and the other doesn't, but they can both get sorta violent, and they both like saunas... As for the drinking, our Fin may not always have a beer around, but he's a binge drinker when he does drink. (Although that's headcanon...) And he certainly would be able to use a puukko if he had to - it's just that he prefers snipering.
Yep, not too different. But that's what makes this even funnier!
(The accents seem a bit weird, but I'm just used to seeing them without any, so I don't know if they're right or not.)
Reply
Leave a comment