Why You Should Never Share Accessories (1/2)
anonymous
February 19 2010, 23:18:18 UTC
(Yo, first nonOPanon here! This is my first fill on the meme, so here's to hoping it doesn't suck. 'Cause we all know the title sucks. -_-;; )
CRASH
“Wah, stay away from me, you freaky bitch!”
BOOM
“But it’s just a little video!”
“ ‘Just a little video’ MY ASS!”
SMASH
“Ve~ Germany, what was that?”
Ludwig looked up from his plate of pasta and wurst to see Italy looking at the door, classic airhead expression in place.
“I don’t know, probably Hungary chasing Prussia around for filling Austria’s piano with sand again.”
“Ve~ but that’s not what it sounded like…”
SLAM!
“WEST!”
Both European nations looked up from their food to see a panting albino standing in the doorway, the door (or rather, what was left of it) lying on the floor after being kicked in.
“West, you gotta hide me! That freaky son of a bitch Hungary put this damn hairclip on me, turned herself into a guy, turned the awesome me into a girl, and started chasing after me with a camera! And Gott damnit, I CAN’T TAKE THE FUCKING CLIP OFF!” To prove her his point, Gilbert reached up and tried prying the clip out of her his platinum blond hair. True to her his word, it didn’t even slide down. “You have got to help me, West. I’m too awesome to have my vital regions seized!” she he cried out shouted.
“Ah, I didn’t know Sister Hungary’s clips could do that. Ve~ what do you think, Germany?” Feliciano asked lightly. “…Germany?” Confused as to why his friend wasn’t talking, Italy turned to face him. He seemed to be frozen solid, eyes wide and unblinking.
“German-“ Without warning, the German collapsed, faceplanting in his half-eaten pasta.
“AH, LUDWIG!!!” Feliciano screamed in fear.
“FUCK, WEST! DON’T YOU DARE PASS OUT ON ME!!” Prussia screamed as she he marched up and tried to shake her his brother awake.
“Prussia~ Where are you~? Come out and pla-ay~” a male voice sang from a nearby hallway, causing Gilbert to curse loudly in German and abandon her his unconscious (and completely useless) brother and a bawling Italy to find alternate shelter.
“Fuck my life. Why does this shit always happen to me? I’m fucking awesome, for Gott’s sake, and here I am, running from the queen of all yaoi freaks (or is it yuri now?). Fuck. My. Life,” Prussia thought as she he tried to slink down the hallways towards her his secondary shelter. Unfortunately for her him, luck was not on her his side, and the next corner yielded a drooling Hungary armed with a camera and the eyes of a raptor.
Why You Should Never Share Accessories (2/2)
anonymous
February 19 2010, 23:31:29 UTC
As the last chords echoed through the room, Japan clapped quietly. “That was very well-played, Austria-san.”
The pianist looked over at his previously-unnoticed audience and nodded his head. “Why, thank you, Kiku,” he replied politely. “I didn’t notice you there.”
“Sorry, Austria-san. I came in to tell you the meeting will resume soon.”
“I see, thank you for the warning.” Being careful not to wrinkle his new suit, Roderich stood up from the piano bench and pulled out the key cover. Briskly, he walked past Japan towards the door. “I should go find Elizaveta before the meeting starts,” he commented offhandedly as he reached out to grab the doorknob.
But before he could turn it, he was startled by the sound of screaming coming from the hall.
“AAH!!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!”
“HA! I GOT YOU NOW!”
Without warning, the door suddenly swung open, and a terrified Prussia was tackled into a very confused Austria by a triumphant Hungary. The three landed with a loud thud on the other side of the room as Japan just stared.
“WAH, GET OFF MY ASS, YOU WITCH!” In a surprising show of strength and audacity, the Prussian kicked the Hungarian man off and sent him flying back across the room and into the open hallway. Gasping for breath, Gilbert turned her attention to the one she was still lying on top of. “Oh my Gott, Austria, your wife is nuts! She turned herself into a freaking guy, made the awesome me female, and…and…uh…” Gilbert’s shrill voice faded away as her face paled. Something was seriously wrong here. She was lying on top of Austria, but what was under her hands didn’t feel like Austria at all…
“HOLY FUCK, AUSTRIA! SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE BOOBS?!?!?!” Scandalized and disgusted beyond all imagination, Prussia darted off as far away as possible from the man woman.
“Ugh, my head…” Austria groaned as she rubbed her head where it had collided with the maple floor. The forming headache was soon forgotten as Roderich grabbed her throat in alarm. Her voice had gone up at least two octaves, maybe three. “Wha…”
“Fuck, that freak had TWO hairclips?! Argh, she must have slipped it on during the fall! Great, just perfect!”
Roderich only gaped at Prussia, who she now noticed had a distinctly…feminine shape. Looking down, her cheeks flushed red as she realized she too had a very…curvy figure.
“Wait a second…”
Too her great embarrassment, Roderich gave a very unmanly “eep!” as Prussia snuck up on her and cupped her hands around the Austrian's chest.
“Just what do you think you’re do-“
“No way! Yours are bigger than mine?! That’s not possible!!! What about my five meters?!?!”
Austria practically froze on the spot, but the rising color in her cheeks betrayed her true feelings.
“You’re worried about that?!?!”
“Of course! Why shouldn’t I-“
CLONK
The strange noise brought both women’s attention back to the still-open doorway where Hungary had finally recovered from the earlier kick. The sound had been caused by his precious camera hitting the floor, not that he noticed. His eyes were the size of saucers, and something unidentifiable flashed behind them that made both men want to crawl in a hole and stay there for all eternity.
“Kiku, can I ask you a favor,” Elizaveta asked, voice lacking any and all inflection.
“Yes…?”
“Do you have a tripod I could borrow?”
“Yes…”
“And could you leave us alone and tell everyone we went home early?”
“Uh…”
“I’ll give you a copy of the tape.”
“…1080p?”
“Yes.”
“…Very well.” Japan moved past Hungary, who was now standing in the middle of the room, towards the door. Quietly, he pulled a tripod out of his robes and left it on the ground. Then he turned around and bowed his head. “Prussia-san, Hungary-san, Austria-san, good day.” He then proceeded to close the door behind him and walk off towards the board room two floors down.
When he finally reached the elevator, he could hear screams of “JAPAN, YOU FUCKING TWO-FACED BASTARD!!!” and the Asian man simply smiled as the elevator doors opened. He might get in trouble with Germany-san later for this, but at least he’d have something interesting to watch tomorrow night.
Re: WYSNSA: Omake
anonymous
February 20 2010, 03:38:44 UTC
Hey, this is the OP here!
Holy jumpin's! This is frickin' AWESOME!!! I love it! Great! Wundebar! Love Japan's role in the proceedings! Hungary and Japan - the ultimate partners in crime- er- [i]passion[/i]. >3 Everything I could have hoped for and more! <3!
CRASH
“Wah, stay away from me, you freaky bitch!”
BOOM
“But it’s just a little video!”
“ ‘Just a little video’ MY ASS!”
SMASH
“Ve~ Germany, what was that?”
Ludwig looked up from his plate of pasta and wurst to see Italy looking at the door, classic airhead expression in place.
“I don’t know, probably Hungary chasing Prussia around for filling Austria’s piano with sand again.”
“Ve~ but that’s not what it sounded like…”
SLAM!
“WEST!”
Both European nations looked up from their food to see a panting albino standing in the doorway, the door (or rather, what was left of it) lying on the floor after being kicked in.
“West, you gotta hide me! That freaky son of a bitch Hungary put this damn hairclip on me, turned herself into a guy, turned the awesome me into a girl, and started chasing after me with a camera! And Gott damnit, I CAN’T TAKE THE FUCKING CLIP OFF!” To prove her his point, Gilbert reached up and tried prying the clip out of her his platinum blond hair. True to her his word, it didn’t even slide down. “You have got to help me, West. I’m too awesome to have my vital regions seized!” she he cried out shouted.
“Ah, I didn’t know Sister Hungary’s clips could do that. Ve~ what do you think, Germany?” Feliciano asked lightly. “…Germany?” Confused as to why his friend wasn’t talking, Italy turned to face him. He seemed to be frozen solid, eyes wide and unblinking.
“German-“ Without warning, the German collapsed, faceplanting in his half-eaten pasta.
“AH, LUDWIG!!!” Feliciano screamed in fear.
“FUCK, WEST! DON’T YOU DARE PASS OUT ON ME!!” Prussia screamed as she he marched up and tried to shake her his brother awake.
“Prussia~ Where are you~? Come out and pla-ay~” a male voice sang from a nearby hallway, causing Gilbert to curse loudly in German and abandon her his unconscious (and completely useless) brother and a bawling Italy to find alternate shelter.
“Fuck my life. Why does this shit always happen to me? I’m fucking awesome, for Gott’s sake, and here I am, running from the queen of all yaoi freaks (or is it yuri now?). Fuck. My. Life,” Prussia thought as she he tried to slink down the hallways towards her his secondary shelter. Unfortunately for her him, luck was not on her his side, and the next corner yielded a drooling Hungary armed with a camera and the eyes of a raptor.
“There you are!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
(Okay, I'm not doing that thing with the pronouns again. Takes too long. -_- )
Reply
The pianist looked over at his previously-unnoticed audience and nodded his head. “Why, thank you, Kiku,” he replied politely. “I didn’t notice you there.”
“Sorry, Austria-san. I came in to tell you the meeting will resume soon.”
“I see, thank you for the warning.” Being careful not to wrinkle his new suit, Roderich stood up from the piano bench and pulled out the key cover. Briskly, he walked past Japan towards the door. “I should go find Elizaveta before the meeting starts,” he commented offhandedly as he reached out to grab the doorknob.
But before he could turn it, he was startled by the sound of screaming coming from the hall.
“AAH!!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!”
“HA! I GOT YOU NOW!”
Without warning, the door suddenly swung open, and a terrified Prussia was tackled into a very confused Austria by a triumphant Hungary. The three landed with a loud thud on the other side of the room as Japan just stared.
“WAH, GET OFF MY ASS, YOU WITCH!” In a surprising show of strength and audacity, the Prussian kicked the Hungarian man off and sent him flying back across the room and into the open hallway. Gasping for breath, Gilbert turned her attention to the one she was still lying on top of. “Oh my Gott, Austria, your wife is nuts! She turned herself into a freaking guy, made the awesome me female, and…and…uh…” Gilbert’s shrill voice faded away as her face paled. Something was seriously wrong here. She was lying on top of Austria, but what was under her hands didn’t feel like Austria at all…
“HOLY FUCK, AUSTRIA! SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE BOOBS?!?!?!” Scandalized and disgusted beyond all imagination, Prussia darted off as far away as possible from the man woman.
“Ugh, my head…” Austria groaned as she rubbed her head where it had collided with the maple floor. The forming headache was soon forgotten as Roderich grabbed her throat in alarm. Her voice had gone up at least two octaves, maybe three. “Wha…”
“Fuck, that freak had TWO hairclips?! Argh, she must have slipped it on during the fall! Great, just perfect!”
Roderich only gaped at Prussia, who she now noticed had a distinctly…feminine shape. Looking down, her cheeks flushed red as she realized she too had a very…curvy figure.
“Wait a second…”
Too her great embarrassment, Roderich gave a very unmanly “eep!” as Prussia snuck up on her and cupped her hands around the Austrian's chest.
“Just what do you think you’re do-“
“No way! Yours are bigger than mine?! That’s not possible!!! What about my five meters?!?!”
Austria practically froze on the spot, but the rising color in her cheeks betrayed her true feelings.
“You’re worried about that?!?!”
“Of course! Why shouldn’t I-“
CLONK
The strange noise brought both women’s attention back to the still-open doorway where Hungary had finally recovered from the earlier kick. The sound had been caused by his precious camera hitting the floor, not that he noticed. His eyes were the size of saucers, and something unidentifiable flashed behind them that made both men want to crawl in a hole and stay there for all eternity.
“Kiku, can I ask you a favor,” Elizaveta asked, voice lacking any and all inflection.
“Yes…?”
“Do you have a tripod I could borrow?”
“Yes…”
“And could you leave us alone and tell everyone we went home early?”
“Uh…”
“I’ll give you a copy of the tape.”
“…1080p?”
“Yes.”
“…Very well.” Japan moved past Hungary, who was now standing in the middle of the room, towards the door. Quietly, he pulled a tripod out of his robes and left it on the ground. Then he turned around and bowed his head. “Prussia-san, Hungary-san, Austria-san, good day.” He then proceeded to close the door behind him and walk off towards the board room two floors down.
When he finally reached the elevator, he could hear screams of “JAPAN, YOU FUCKING TWO-FACED BASTARD!!!” and the Asian man simply smiled as the elevator doors opened. He might get in trouble with Germany-san later for this, but at least he’d have something interesting to watch tomorrow night.
FIN
(Fail ending fails. ;_; )
Reply
Hungary: That was awesome! You guys were great!♥
Austria:……
Prussia: *shivers* Ok, great, uh huh, now can you take the fucking things off us now?
Hungary: Of course not!
Prussia: WHAT?! WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?!
Hungary: Because, we’re not done yet~
Austria:…we’re not? O_O
Hungary: Nope! We have 8 more combinations to try! :D
Austria: …Eight…
Prussia: …more…
Hungary: Yep! Because I have…*drumroll*…another hairclip!!! 8D
Prussia: O______O
Austria: O______________O;;
*Japan enters*
Japan: Hungary-san, I’ve prepared that soundproof bunker you asked for.
Hungary: Sweet! The videos will be in the mail in two weeks.
Japan: Arigatou, Hungary-san.
*Japan leaves*
Hungary: Now that that’s settled, let’s get acquainted with our new room! :D
*Hungary drags Austria and Prussia away*
*Prussia starts screaming like a little girl*
*Austria faints*
FIN
(I'm sorry. It just had to be done. *starts browsing through houses-in-hell catalog*)
Reply
Now my thinking is ->
Genderbending Hairclips: Fun for everyone!
(And Author!Anon should know that the best houses in Hell are near the lakeshore, not too badly priced either.)
Reply
(Lakeside house would be nice. I'll tell my real estate agent, thanks. ^^ )
Reply
*is also looking through her catalogue for a suitable house in hell*
Reply
Holy jumpin's! This is frickin' AWESOME!!! I love it! Great! Wundebar! Love Japan's role in the proceedings! Hungary and Japan - the ultimate partners in crime- er- [i]passion[/i]. >3 Everything I could have hoped for and more! <3!
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I mean, why else would he wear the thing?!
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