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Feb 26, 2011 14:03


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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [1a/?] anonymous February 14 2010, 16:41:44 UTC
Anon here is not above anon, and is in fact posting this for her sister who likes surf the meme but remains html illiterate on general principle.

This will be long-ish and overflowing with crack.

--

Athens, Greece

February 13 2010, Saturday

A certain conference building

Main conference room

09.32 a.m.

“Okay~”, said France as he assessed the situation in front of him, raising his eyebrows. “I don’t know what this is about, but this is going to be interesting...”

“Um, shouldn’t someone stop them?” Lithuania asked and managed to sound worried through his bewilderment.

“Definitely not going there, that’s freaking scary. Though I admit it’s entertaining”, Denmark shook his head without letting his gaze wander from the scene.

“Russia, shouldn’t you do something about that?” America asked, staring eyes wide.

“Why?” Russia asked innocently and smiled. “I’m just happy I’m not included. Though I might wish the winner all good~… after the war.”

“Stop calling it a war! Anyway, what. on. Earth. happened?” Germany looked around the table demanding the answer from all those present. No one gave it, just continued to stare at the scene with varying expressions of suprise, astonishment, amusement, utter disbelief and, in the case of Norway, Egypt and Hong Kong, blank. Sighing, Germany turned to their host. “Greece, don’t you know anything about this?”

“Ummm...” Greece contemplated his answer for a while.

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [1b/?] anonymous February 14 2010, 16:46:24 UTC
Main conference room

09.24 a.m.

Everyone had gathered and the meeting would be able to start in time at 09.30 a.m. For once. It was rare, really, Korea had even come up with the idea of filming this historical moment. Thirty-odd nations all being in the right place at the right time was something that didn’t happen so often. Because of time differences someone was almost always jet-lagged and oversleeping no matter where they gathered. If that didn’t happen, someone (usually Spain) came up with something ‘important’ to do just before the meeting. Sometimes there were real problems, like the time in Japan when Italy had choked on his breakfast noodles and had to be taken to the hospital before attending the meeting. And sometimes there were some less real problems as last year in Russia when America had refused to come out of his bed before it was warmer. Anyway, it was rare for them to be in time. Korea’s suggestion still wasn’t put into effect though.

But Greece wasn’t interested in that. He excused himself for a second and left the conference hall for a smaller preparation room on the side. He heard someone hurrying him back so the ‘on time miracle’ would come true. He mumbled a quick answer, shut the door behind him and turned around to stare at the person who had come after him.

“What’s this about?” he asked the ancient god quietly.

Eros smiled and ruffled Greece’s hair. “You’re such a sweet and cute kid. I’m sure your mother is proud of you. Aren’t you a good boy, aren’t you huh?”

Greece took the hand away. “Eros, I’m asking you a question. Why’re you here?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I haven’t even seen you for ages”, Greece noted and thought. Though I have heard about things you’ve done. “What brings you here now, when we’re having our Pre-Valentine Conference?”

The god thought of this for a while and then summarized his thoughts for the nation. “I’m bored.”

“What?”

“You know, humans are nice, but what’s a point of sharing eternal love when they don’t live forever?” Eros gestured to form a human shape in the air.

“Except your love only lasts about a day these days”, Greece reminded him. I have heard tons of such stories from my humans lately.

“That’s purely trivial. Anyway. I decided to share some worldwide love.”

“No need.”

“I’m going to get rid of all your emotional worries...”

“Please don’t.”

“...and many political hindrances disappear the same time...”

“No, really, we can-“

“...and I’m going to end the old rivalries for good.”

“Are you listening?”

“So what do you think? Great idea, huh?” Eros laughed. “Praise me as much as you like.”

“You’re not listening”, Greece mumbled and sighed. “I think you shouldn’t do that.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because it’s a bad idea.”

“It is not! It’s genius! Anyway, I have my beloved bow here ready to make all the worries of our beloved Greece fade to nothing. Don’t worry, son”, Eros ruffled Greece’s hair again. “I won’t hit you. I have practised some extra this week, so I’ll be at my best when your little meeting begins...”

So that explains all the cats last week...

“...So wish me love- I mean luck, won’t you kid? Bye now ♥~”

“What, wait a second-"

Greece noticed he was alone in the room now. “Oh dear...”

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [1c/?] anonymous February 14 2010, 16:54:52 UTC
Main conference room

09.33 a.m.

“Greece, don’t you know anything about this?”

“Ummm...” Greece contemplated his answer for a while. “No.”

On the table in front of France, England and Belarus were at the climax of their battle.

“Stay away from him, you snail!” Belarus screamed and pulled England’s hair so hard the man shrieked. “No one comes between me and my love! You hear me! No one! Includes you!”

England grapped the woman’s hand and made her let go of him. He straightened and yelled back. “Silence! You know nothing, you ignorant blockhead!”

“I thought he only called me that”, America noted quietly to no one in particular.

“No one is worthy of him if not me after all I’ve done”, England continued. “So you keep you filthy fingers away from my man, woman!”

“Shoot you, sucker”, Belarus hissed and stepped on the arm of France’s chair and crouched down to hug him. “He’s mine...”

England clenched his teeth furiously. “Get away from him right now, Belarus. I’m not going to ask again.”

Belarus tightened her grip of France who was trying hard not to look amused. “I’m not going to hand him over to someone like you, you stinking Brit. Go and eat your scones alone somewhere where no one finds you ever again”, she purred and pulled the Frenchman against her chest. “I’m going to make food for my love myself.”

France frowned to this but then England started glowing so he didn’t have time to comment.

Poison green fire had started dancing around England the moment Belarus declined to let go of France. “I warned you, twat”, he growled and his eyes were burning with anger. “From now on, regret your doings in the afterlife...”

France noticed it was time to do something. “Now now, dears, do not fight over me”, he smiled, enjoying all the undivided attention he had from England and Belarus as he spoke. But now it was time to come up with something that would stop the fighting. France said what was first in his mind. “I have enough l’amour for both of you.”

“Like I’m going to share you with someone like that!” both fighters shouted, pointing at each other.

Okay, that had been a bad idea.

“England”, America came beside them and tried to do something about the tension in the air. “Relax, what’s wrong with you? I know you have your issues that come up when you’re drunk but you’re not drunk now so... um... it’s just weird and−”

“Shut your mouth you hamburger brain and stop interfering”, England growled, wrinkling America’s shirt in his hand and effectively shutting him up. “Go to some dark corner where I can’t see you.”

Russia growled low in his throat at this and America stuttered indignantly, but England simply let got of him and turned his attention back to France who was still in the tight hold of Belarus. France seemed to be enjoying the situation whole-heartedly even though he had no idea what was going on.

Greece had an idea. He stared frowning to the window opposite him on the other side of the large room where the ancient Greek god was smiling smugly and giving him a thumbs-up.

Greece closed his eyes and shook his head. You’ve got to be kidding me...

--
TBC.

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [1c/?] anonymous February 14 2010, 17:11:55 UTC
omg my otp ;o; England fighting with Belarus over France, haha, awesome!

Awaiting more~

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [1c/?] anonymous February 15 2010, 04:01:47 UTC
ahahahhahahahahh!!!! I ROTFL like crazy when it registered in my mind that ENGLAND was fighting with BELARUS for FRANCE!! And it makes sense, the once-empire-with-scary-fairies-and-pirate-raiding-skills-England CAN be matched in a fight with Belarus.

And it's so like France to say he has enough love for both of them.

:D :D :D

Not!OP anon is very happy. Thanks!

I look forward to whatever you have in store.

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [2a/?] anonymous February 15 2010, 16:02:25 UTC
Main conference room

10.08 a.m.

“So uhm-“ Germany coughed as England and Belarus had disappeared through the window. ”Let’s drop their matter for now. We um... really have some things to talk about today.”

“But France”, asked Italy, still staring to the window the two nations had jumped out of a while ago. “What are you going to do if they found that... um... what was it?”

“The red dove of love”, France smiled. “Don’t worry, if it’s one I can handle whichever comes, if it’s two I’ll run or send them on another errand. But I certainly hope only one comes”, he purred, the infamous lover smile spreading on his face.

“Then why did you sent them to find something impossible to find?” Switzerland asked bluntly.

Belgium chuckled. “You want England to pull a red dove out of his sleeve and come back, right?”

“France”, Austria rebuked when France’s smile started to widen. “Stop taking advantage on people when we don’t know what is wrong with them. This could be serious.”

“Austria, Austria”, Prussia laughed. “You can’t change that part of France after so many centuries.”

France smiled and struck a pose for Austria who just sighed and said nothing.

“But what could that have been about”, wondered Japan and petted one of the three of Greece’s cats that were climbing on him. “Is it really okay to leave them without a guardian?”

“Oh, they’re going to be just fine”, France assured. “And I told them to play nice.”

“Well after what I saw, I’m ready to believe they obey you”, Germany sighed and tried to get the conversation back on the scheduled topics. “Let’s begin now, we are more than half an hour behind the schedule. What we have here is...”

Greece stopped listening to Germany when he saw Eros in the window again. The god was aiming with his bow, but where? Greece couldn’t find out from the angle he was in. He shut his eyes and listened as the god released the arrow. There was no sound of impact but Greece knew there was no way it hadn’t hit someone. He opened his eyes and waited for someone to fall in love.

No one else had noticed that something was terribly wrong again.

“-so I think we should use Spain to distract people’s attention so Hong Kong can escape with the money”, Germany ended his speech.

People started nodding and mumbled something for and against. Spain looked psyched up and ready to go although the plan was meant for Easter.

“Umm...” Denmark said from his chair and people turned to him.

“You don’t like the plan?” Germany asked.

“Umm, no it’s not that”, the Nordic answered. “Sve?”

Sweden looked at him silently.

“What are you doing?” Denmark asked, looking unsure what to think.

Sweden looked at him for a while before answering. “Holdin’ yar ‘and.”

“Yes I can see that - I can feel that - but what I want know is, why you are doing that?”

Sweden blushed. He was again making fine sentences in his head but failing to say them aloud.

The remaining three Nordics were as speechless he was. Norway was just frowning, but Finland looked like someone had just told him he was going to be one with Latvia and Iceland’s expression could be explained best by thinking about a hunting owl. Sweden held Denmark’s hand gently and remained silent.

Denmark coughed and asked again after a moment of silence. “Not that it disturbs me really, but... why are you holding my hand?”

The instant he asked Sweden won his inner struggle with embarrassment. He rose a little from his chair, leaned forward and kissed Denmark straight on the lips. Suddenly over thirty jaws were hanging open and the same amount of nations were staring at the intensive French kiss the two Nordics were sharing. Sweden had crossed their fingers and closed his eyes. Denmark’s eyes, on the contrary, were wide open.

Hungary seemed to be in heaven.

Greece closed his eyes. Oh~ god... then he remembered who he had to thank for this so he corrected himself. Oh~ cat...

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [2b/?] anonymous February 15 2010, 16:08:11 UTC
Sweden retreated from the kiss, but stayed near Denmark’s face holding the other’s cheek under his palm. Then he answered the question. “B’caus’ I lov’ ya.”

”Whoah”, Denmark said and stared to his northern neighbour. “...Whoah...”

Norway stared at them for a while and then turned back to stare at the table in front of him. “Whatever was bothering England and Belarus, it’s infectious.”

“Well”, Denmark commented as Sweden climbed on his lap and hugged him. “I ain’t complaining.”

Estonia looked at Finland. “Shouldn’t you be jealous?”

Finland turned away from his video camera to look at his friend. “Why?”

“Finland, stop recording private moments”, Iceland ordered, staring pointedly to the window.

“You call that private?” Norway asked dryly and looked at Sweden sitting in Denmark’s lap and kissing his forehead and temples softly. Then he glared. “But you really don’t have to record it.”

Japan quickly hid his device, but Hungary and Finland didn’t show any sign of switching off their cameras.

Germany coughed. “Yeah, but we should continue now, so would you Denmark...”

“Okay, okay. Sve, look I love you too, but let go for a moment, won’t you”, Denmark tried to push Sweden away, but was instantly cluthed against the other’s chest.

“Don’ leave me”, Sweden mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Huh?” Denmark said and Prussia started laughing.

Over his laughter Greece heard another sound of a string and this time he managed to see where it hit. He immediately saw a change in that person’s eyes as they locked over the table.

“Really, Sve, you can let go”, Denmark tried. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Sweden only tightened his grip.

“Fin, help me!” Denmark pleaded and reached for the nation.

Finland tilted his head. “Why me?”

“You’re his wife?”

“Not you too!”

“No really please do something, he’s humming Roxette in my ear and it’s scary, come on and help me, won’t you!”

Suddenly a loud gasp silenced the table, including Denmark’s panicked speech. Every one (except Sweden) turned to look at the Mediterranean part of the table.

“Um... Brother?” asked Italy, received no reaction.

Romano was standing on the table, eyes locked to one address. He walked over the table and kneeled in front of his chosen one.

“You know what?” he asked blushing and took the hand of the other one. “You’re fucking great. Marry me.”

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [2c/?] anonymous February 15 2010, 16:14:22 UTC
“Huh?” Seychelles answered and stared at the South Italian brother in front of her.

“You’re gorgeous”, Romano explained and clasped the girl’s other hand too. “Really. I know it sounds weird−”

“It certainly does”, Spain noted behind him.

“You shut up there!” Romano shouted behind his shoulder. Then he turned back to face Seychelles who was blushing with the colour of Prussia’s eyes. “It sounds weird. But you really have... fucking everything I can ask for. So marry me. I’ll let you eat tomatoes every day.”

“Is that called romantic in Italy?” Russia asked happily. He was enjoying this meeting.

“Don’t interrupt when I’m talking to my chosen one!” Romano snapped and then shut up as he realised just who he was shouting at.

Russia smiled and waved his hand. “Please don’t mind me. Continue by all means.”

Romano didn’t need to be told twice. He clutched Seychelles’ hands against his chest. “Seychelles. You can have all my tomatoes. And Sicily. And my vital regions-“

Seychelles blushed.

“-Everything I can give. Just be mine dammit!”

Seychelles smiled. “I’ll think about it.”

“Honestly!?” Romano gasped. “Okay, I’ll do anything you want. I’ll even conquer that French bastard for you if you want!”

France laughed. “This is getting more and more interesting.”

Seychelles continued smiling. “You’ll do anything I want?”

“Fuck yes!”

“Good. Then let go of my hands, go sit on your chair and wait there until I order otherwise.”

Romano stared at her silently for a moment and then obeyed, receiving a loud applause for good performance from Prussia, France, Korea, Hungary and Australia. For some unknown reason Hong Kong was clapping too, although he didn’t cheer.

“Silence!” shouted Germany over all the voices and started pointing at nations one at a time. “Denmark! Get Sweden to his own chair! Finland, stop recording already! Hungary! You too! Prussia! Stop laughing! Japan, stop taking notes of this! Egypt, would you stop looking like nothing has happened? And Greece! What the fuck is going on!?”

Greece stared to the window past Germany where Eros was doing a victory dance to himself. “How should I know?”

Entrance hall

11.09. a.m.

England hit his forehead to the marble wall. What should he do? That damned Belarus could find the bird anytime. He had to think. Think, England, dammit! A red dove... there had to be a red dove somewhere. Dear France wouldn’t have sent him to look for something that didn’t exist. There was no way France would fool him that way. He just had to think.

“Calm down, England”, he mumbled to himself. France was on his side. He had to have an advantage in this...

England stopped dead.

“Of course!”

--
Next time: Turkey is dramatic, America has issues and Belarus harasses a pet shop owner.
TBC.

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [2c/?] anonymous February 15 2010, 20:23:36 UTC
AnonReader loves you. Really, she does. And she loves OP for posting this request. And she loves Eros SOOOOO MUCH!!! :D ♥♥♥

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [2c/?] anonymous February 16 2010, 15:38:34 UTC
Oh god, I can't stop giggling. This is an awesome fill, writer!anon

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [2c/?] anonymous February 16 2010, 19:10:57 UTC
ahahahhahah! This is great. Love Seychelles, smart you. Romano and his "chosen one". And the Nordics! Go EROS!!!

This fill is awesome.

:D :D :D :D

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [3a/?] anonymous February 16 2010, 16:33:44 UTC
Main conference room

11.11 a.m.

“So. It seems we have some problems here,” Greece began, trying to avoid everyone’s eyes without anyone noticing it. “So I think we should... uh...” he stopped to think for a while. Germany had just asked him as the host to take the lead, so he had yet to come up with something to say. If I stop the meeting, Eros is likely to complain, no doubt. But if we continue, more and more of us will start to act strange. And at this rate we won’t get anything done anyway, so it would be suspicious to act like nothing is wrong... But I can’t tell them what’s going on, they would blame me for it and that’d just be a pain. I don’t think Eros would listen to me if I told him he’s just causing me trouble... Though there is really no harm done and the effects will disappear, I’m worried about-

“Greece, snap out of it, you’re daydreaming again,” a voice interrupted his thoughts. “Look, I know you’re bad at concentrating, but try not to fall asleep in the middle of a speech, ‘kay?”

Greece’s calm thoughts were washed away as he turned to look at his neighbour. “I’m not sleeping, Turkey! Here you come jumping to false conclusions again! Did you just have to attend this time too?!”

Turkey tossed his head, ready for a good old argument. “Of course I came, for God’s sake! You even bothered to invite me remember? And I would have come even if you didn’t, you know, I have always attended the preV-conference!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Greece shouted back. “And I tell you, I only invited you after long and hard thinking and I’m already regretting it!”

“Well I’m here nonetheless”, Turkey looked proudly away from Greece and raised his hands showing his victory in this matter. “And I’m going to-“

Turkey paused and Greece’s jaw dropped as a pink arrow hit and merged into his neighbour. Gawking, he turned slowly to look at his left where Eros was whistling innocently and checking his fingernails. Then he turned back to Turkey to find out just who was the victim of love this time. And why did have to be Turkey!

The other nations didn’t understand what had stopped the two from shouting and what had made Greece to look so nervous. Egypt tilted his head at this unexpected silence. He had just been ready to come between the two once again.

But instead of turning his attention back at Greece, like he usually would have done, Turkey walked past his rival and in deep uneasy silence proceeded around the table and to one certain nation, kneeling down beside him.

“Why haven’t I noticed you before?” Turkey said quietly and reached his hands towards his ‘victim’, but didn’t touch, just ghosted his fingers above the skin and clothes. “Why have you, all these years, hidden yourself from me?”

Egypt opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. Germany buried his face in his hands in defeat, mumbling something like “Oh god, not him too...”

“Why have you been so faraway until now?” Turkey continued, voice sounding so small it alone made things feel akward. “Beyond my reach”, he whispered and, holding Canada’s head between his hands he softly kissed him, barely touching his lips. “My beautiful Canadian.”

“Why me?” Canada said quietly and glanced around, nervous since he wasn’t accustomed to this much attention.

Well. Not in this way at least.

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Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [3b/?] anonymous February 16 2010, 16:38:15 UTC
“Hey you!” America stood up and Turkey and Canada both turned to look at him. “Let go of my brother.”

Turkey stood too, turning around. With one hand he secured Canada behind him, keeping him close to himself like he was protecting him.

“I won’t let go, America. Not just like that,” Turkey said to the older brother, merrily snapping back to his usual self. “Give me a one good reason to do that.”

“Because I say so!” America answered and raised his finger to point at the Mediterranean country.

“I said a ‘good reason’...”

“France took England away from me, so like hell I’m going to let you have Canada!”

“So that’s what’s been rubbing you,” France smiled. “I see, that explains why you’ve been so silent for a while.”

America blushed, but forced himself to look authoritative. “Mark my words, Turk! I’m not going to let you have my brother!”

Turkey smiled. “If it’s a duel you want kid, just come and get it.”

Greece turned pale. This could be bad.

Canada noticed ‘this’ too. “No no no no please don’t honestly stop it-”

Turkey turned around and gently touched Canada’s hair, kissing his forehead. “Don’t worry, love. I won’t lose you. I’ll fight with all my might.”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about!” Canada tried, but Turkey silenced him by pressing a finger to his lips.

“I’ll come back in one piece”, Turkey assured and straightened and turned his back to Canada. He was staring straight down the barrel of America’s gun. He smiled. “You just wait there until I return.”

Some unfortunate petshop

11.02 a.m.

“Just give me that bird, okay!”Belarus shouted to the poor shop owner who hurried to give her what she wanted.

Belarus took the small cage with its innocent inhabitant and pulled one of her knives out, glaring murderously at the whiteness of the dove’s plumage.

“Here, birdy birdy birdy birdy...”

The shop owner stared at her. He would have called the authorities if he’d had enough courage to move.

--
Next time: Seychelles is enjoying herself, Canada feigns innocence and France admits England can be awesome.
TBC.

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [3b/?] anonymous February 16 2010, 17:06:07 UTC
Duuuuuuuuude, I can barely stop laughing enough to type a coherent response; this fill is awesome!

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OP anonymous February 16 2010, 19:13:54 UTC
PFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OH ANON

YOU ARE KILLING ME

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Re: Guys, Greece Is Never Holding This Conference Again. Ever. [3b/?] anonymous February 16 2010, 20:31:29 UTC
I knew it!! Belarus is going to kill the poor little bird.

I totally did not expect the Turkey/Canada part! ahahhahhahah!!

:D :D

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