L'homme Perdu (1b/?)
anonymous
February 7 2010, 16:20:29 UTC
Alfred turned his attention back to the letter. There was so much that needed to be said, he wanted to confide in his brother with all of his feelings, after all he was his twin, and twins did share that special bond. Matthew had told him the moment he’d fallen in love with the woman he’d married just before Alfred had moved to France. He’d been the one that his twin turned to when he wanted to propose to her, and despite the fact the younger one had lost his hope for the world he’d encouraged his brother and wished his the absolute best luck in his life. It was tough being so far away from home he really had no one to confide in, no one to help him figure things in his mind out. But he had to come up with something.
He settled down at the table and picked his pen up again starting where he’d left off:
I’m glad to hear that you and at are doing so well. I had heard from mom that you were on your death bed with your last old, though I suspect that is because she was trying to guilt me into coming back home. But there is something that is stopping me from coming back, home. Before you ask I’m not even too sure what that something is. Maybe I’ve just fallen in love with this city so much that it’s impossible for me to leave.
He paused. Alfred knew his brother wouldn’t believe a word starting with the third sentence, so he gave up and tossed the paper in the waste bin. How was it that poets and authors had no problem creating whole other worlds that appealed to ever sense, yet he couldn’t even write a simple reply. He stood up abandoning it once more, in favor of another cigarette.
AN: This is my first serious fill. So it probably sucks… also I will do my best to make it good and not too long. Future chapters will be longer I just had to put something out before I pussied out of doing the fill all together. Also I don’t know France French… I only know a little bit of Senegalese French from step father and half siblings. So I went to Google for the title. please don't hate me?
Re: L'homme Perdu (1b/?)
anonymous
February 8 2010, 07:58:58 UTC
OP here, and I very much second the first commenter! The melancholy mood here was lovely, and I love the way you started with Alfred struggling with what to write to his family.
That said, and with all my love to you for braving this fill, you may want to be more careful in editing the next part because there were a lot of errors, and they were rather distracting. Spelling errors, misplaced commas or apostrophes, some run-on sentences and so on...
He settled down at the table and picked his pen up again starting where he’d left off:
I’m glad to hear that you and at are doing so well. I had heard from mom that you were on your death bed with your last old, though I suspect that is because she was trying to guilt me into coming back home. But there is something that is stopping me from coming back, home. Before you ask I’m not even too sure what that something is. Maybe I’ve just fallen in love with this city so much that it’s impossible for me to leave.
He paused. Alfred knew his brother wouldn’t believe a word starting with the third sentence, so he gave up and tossed the paper in the waste bin. How was it that poets and authors had no problem creating whole other worlds that appealed to ever sense, yet he couldn’t even write a simple reply. He stood up abandoning it once more, in favor of another cigarette.
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AN: This is my first serious fill. So it probably sucks… also I will do my best to make it good and not too long. Future chapters will be longer I just had to put something out before I pussied out of doing the fill all together. Also I don’t know France French… I only know a little bit of Senegalese French from step father and half siblings. So I went to Google for the title. please don't hate me?
Reply
Though I suggest you check your writing better, this one had quite a lot of errors. ^^;; Sorry for nitpicking but is a bit disturbing even.
Reply
That said, and with all my love to you for braving this fill, you may want to be more careful in editing the next part because there were a lot of errors, and they were rather distracting. Spelling errors, misplaced commas or apostrophes, some run-on sentences and so on...
Reply
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