Come around, boys and girls, for I shall tell you all the story of two countries and how they got their groove on...
Once upon a time, there was a man who was a little more than two centuries old, but still looked every bit a young adult of nineteen years. His name was Alfred F. Jones. He was also known as The United States of America, or just simply, America.
It was a bright and sunny day when America arose from his bed.
"Oh, what a glorious morning," said he. A glorious morning indeed, since America was half naked and another man was spying on him through an opened window.
This man was Arthur Kirkland, also known as the England part of the United Kingdom. He was a very old nation, for he existed more than at least a thousand years. But, he looked very much like a man in his early adulthood, almost a tad older than America.
Now England though America was one hot motherfucker, because America was so well-built and handsome. If America's beauty were compared to other figures of myth and folk tale, he would bitch-slap the Greek Goddess Aphrodite, piss on Sleeping Beauty's grave, and make Beast forget about Beauty in his lust to fuck him. England wanted in America's pants, but alas, dear America knew not of his lust for his supple yet muscular body.
America got himself properly dressed. He looked in the mirror. He frowned.
"That's not right," he said. "This shirt is too loose." The shirt went off and he tried on another.
"That's not right," he said. "This shirt is too tight." The shirt went off and he tried on another.
America smiled. He was wearing a black, sleeveless muscle-tee, which bared his arms for all to see.
"This shirt is just right," he said, before he went to get his breakfast.
England was left at the window. America was gone, and he still had quite an erection, for he was a dirty pervert. He climbed down and reached the ground and began to weep, for he had no way to satisfy his lust other than his left hand.
"Please weep not, England," a voice purred, like a cat in heat.
England then saw a radiant man with wavy blonde hair.
"Are you my fairy godmother?" Asked England. He could not clearly see, for the man was so sparkly. The man laughed.
"Alas, I am not your fairy godmother," he said. "I am France, the country of sex and peeping toms, and the patron of UST and streaking." England frowned.
"Begone, you frog, for I have no UST!" England said. England disliked France, for France got laid more than he did. France laughed again.
"Your erected penis tells me you are not but a liar, England. You wish to lie with America, no?" France reached into the pockets of his trousers and pulled out a pink, heart-shaped treat. "If you so wish to make America yours, place this in his breakfast."
"What is it?" England asked, taking the treat. "Is it a magical charm that will make America fall in love with me?"
"No," said France. "It is not but viagra!" With that, France took off all of his clothes and ran off into the park.
England crept inside the house. America was still upstairs. There were three meals on the table, but England, being the very clever nation that he was, slipped the viagra pill into the meal America would eat.
...Once Upon A Porn... [2/3]
anonymous
February 5 2010, 12:28:27 UTC
America came down for breakfast and England fled to hide. America was having trouble deciding what he desired to eat for breakfast. There were three meals on the table, waiting just for him, but alas! There was no logical explanation why they were there at all.
America ate a bit of the first meal. "Yuck, this taste like British cuisine!" It was a plate of fish and chips.
America ate a bit of the second meal. "Yuck, this taste like Canada!" It was a plate of pancakes with maple syrup.
America ate a bit of the third meal. "This meal is just right!" And America gobbled it all up, for it was a hamburger!
But America began to get weak and he clutched his crotch. His penis began to grow long and hard. "Alas!" He exclaimed. "My penis grows ever so long and hungry. What am I ever to do?"
England jumped out.
"England!" America cried, his hands on England's body. "I'm not but extremely horny. Can you satisfy my lust for carnality?"
"Yes," said England. "Let us fuck."
So off did America and England merrily went to the bedroom where they hastily got undressed.
England lay in bed, bare naked and all for America to conquer. But alas! America was not but a virgin, for he knew naught of the ways of pleasure and flesh.
America stuck his penis in England's ear.
"No, America. The penis in there it does not ever go. Try again," said England.
America stuck his penis up England's nostril.
"No, America! The penis in there it does not ever go! Try again!" cried England.
America stuck his penis in England's mouth.
"Yes, America. The penis goes in there! This is called 'oral sex'," England exclaimed around the penis. England began to suck and America moaned in pleasure.
But England had enough and demanded that America put his penis elsewhere. America was confused, but he tried again.
America tried to stick his penis in England's belly-button.
"No, America! The penis in there it does not go! Try again!" sighed England.
America tried to stick his penis in England's eye.
"No, America! The penis in there it does not go! Try again!" yelled England.
America sighed. Where else does one put one's penis? England snuggled closer, his backside touching America's thighs.
America stuck his penis up England's ass.
"Yes, America! The penis goes in there!" England cried, although he was not in pain, for without lube, his anus remained forever elastic. And America began to fuck England seven ways before the sun set. They both orgasmed.
...Once Upon A Porn... [3/3]
anonymous
February 5 2010, 12:30:17 UTC
England kissed America.
"America, I love you. Let us get married." England decreed.
"Yes. Let's." America said.
And they lived happily ever after.
The End.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
England furrowed his thick eyebrows, unsure what to think. He gave a quick glance at America, then back at the paper. America himself, was ruddy in the cheek, almost unable to hold in his laughter. England, however, remained stony-faced, something America could not comprehend despite himself. England bit his bottom lip, handing America back the piece of paper. There were a few moments of silence, on England's end, stifling, clutching for words to say, while America anticipated his answer. America knew England had an inner struggle between two opposing opinions on the matter. But then, it was only a matter of minutes when England leaned back into his chair in resignation. England was never one to remain indecisive for long. He eyed America from beneath his brows questionably, holding his words until he felt it right to say his piece.
"Now," he began. America straightened up, a wide grin set on his face.
"What do you think?"
England raised an eyebrow, looking quite worried.
"...Are you sure this is the safest way to tell Sealand about our relationship without having Sweden rip out our spines?"
Re: OP here
anonymous
February 5 2010, 12:48:46 UTC
OP Here.
Well I was imagining either England reading America bedtime story (don't ask why they brought this up), or the other way around, whilst the story is porn or fanfic of themselves. xD
Came up with this idea when I gave a R18 fanfic link to my sis right before bedtime xD
Can I fill?
anonymous
February 5 2010, 16:37:01 UTC
Anon wondering if she can fill this too? anon doesn't want to step on any toes and can't promise whether it will be crack or serious, but she's got a beginning (that's something?)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Come around, boys and girls, for I shall tell you all the story of two countries and how they got their groove on...
Once upon a time, there was a man who was a little more than two centuries old, but still looked every bit a young adult of nineteen years. His name was Alfred F. Jones. He was also known as The United States of America, or just simply, America.
It was a bright and sunny day when America arose from his bed.
"Oh, what a glorious morning," said he. A glorious morning indeed, since America was half naked and another man was spying on him through an opened window.
This man was Arthur Kirkland, also known as the England part of the United Kingdom. He was a very old nation, for he existed more than at least a thousand years. But, he looked very much like a man in his early adulthood, almost a tad older than America.
Now England though America was one hot motherfucker, because America was so well-built and handsome. If America's beauty were compared to other figures of myth and folk tale, he would bitch-slap the Greek Goddess Aphrodite, piss on Sleeping Beauty's grave, and make Beast forget about Beauty in his lust to fuck him. England wanted in America's pants, but alas, dear America knew not of his lust for his supple yet muscular body.
America got himself properly dressed. He looked in the mirror. He frowned.
"That's not right," he said. "This shirt is too loose." The shirt went off and he tried on another.
"That's not right," he said. "This shirt is too tight." The shirt went off and he tried on another.
America smiled. He was wearing a black, sleeveless muscle-tee, which bared his arms for all to see.
"This shirt is just right," he said, before he went to get his breakfast.
England was left at the window. America was gone, and he still had quite an erection, for he was a dirty pervert. He climbed down and reached the ground and began to weep, for he had no way to satisfy his lust other than his left hand.
"Please weep not, England," a voice purred, like a cat in heat.
England then saw a radiant man with wavy blonde hair.
"Are you my fairy godmother?" Asked England. He could not clearly see, for the man was so sparkly. The man laughed.
"Alas, I am not your fairy godmother," he said. "I am France, the country of sex and peeping toms, and the patron of UST and streaking." England frowned.
"Begone, you frog, for I have no UST!" England said. England disliked France, for France got laid more than he did. France laughed again.
"Your erected penis tells me you are not but a liar, England. You wish to lie with America, no?" France reached into the pockets of his trousers and pulled out a pink, heart-shaped treat. "If you so wish to make America yours, place this in his breakfast."
"What is it?" England asked, taking the treat. "Is it a magical charm that will make America fall in love with me?"
"No," said France. "It is not but viagra!" With that, France took off all of his clothes and ran off into the park.
England crept inside the house. America was still upstairs. There were three meals on the table, but England, being the very clever nation that he was, slipped the viagra pill into the meal America would eat.
Reply
America ate a bit of the first meal. "Yuck, this taste like British cuisine!" It was a plate of fish and chips.
America ate a bit of the second meal. "Yuck, this taste like Canada!" It was a plate of pancakes with maple syrup.
America ate a bit of the third meal. "This meal is just right!" And America gobbled it all up, for it was a hamburger!
But America began to get weak and he clutched his crotch. His penis began to grow long and hard. "Alas!" He exclaimed. "My penis grows ever so long and hungry. What am I ever to do?"
England jumped out.
"England!" America cried, his hands on England's body. "I'm not but extremely horny. Can you satisfy my lust for carnality?"
"Yes," said England. "Let us fuck."
So off did America and England merrily went to the bedroom where they hastily got undressed.
England lay in bed, bare naked and all for America to conquer. But alas! America was not but a virgin, for he knew naught of the ways of pleasure and flesh.
America stuck his penis in England's ear.
"No, America. The penis in there it does not ever go. Try again," said England.
America stuck his penis up England's nostril.
"No, America! The penis in there it does not ever go! Try again!" cried England.
America stuck his penis in England's mouth.
"Yes, America. The penis goes in there! This is called 'oral sex'," England exclaimed around the penis. England began to suck and America moaned in pleasure.
But England had enough and demanded that America put his penis elsewhere. America was confused, but he tried again.
America tried to stick his penis in England's belly-button.
"No, America! The penis in there it does not go! Try again!" sighed England.
America tried to stick his penis in England's eye.
"No, America! The penis in there it does not go! Try again!" yelled England.
America sighed. Where else does one put one's penis? England snuggled closer, his backside touching America's thighs.
America stuck his penis up England's ass.
"Yes, America! The penis goes in there!" England cried, although he was not in pain, for without lube, his anus remained forever elastic. And America began to fuck England seven ways before the sun set. They both orgasmed.
Reply
"America, I love you. Let us get married." England decreed.
"Yes. Let's." America said.
And they lived happily ever after.
The End.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
England furrowed his thick eyebrows, unsure what to think. He gave a quick glance at America, then back at the paper. America himself, was ruddy in the cheek, almost unable to hold in his laughter. England, however, remained stony-faced, something America could not comprehend despite himself. England bit his bottom lip, handing America back the piece of paper. There were a few moments of silence, on England's end, stifling, clutching for words to say, while America anticipated his answer. America knew England had an inner struggle between two opposing opinions on the matter. But then, it was only a matter of minutes when England leaned back into his chair in resignation. England was never one to remain indecisive for long. He eyed America from beneath his brows questionably, holding his words until he felt it right to say his piece.
"Now," he began. America straightened up, a wide grin set on his face.
"What do you think?"
England raised an eyebrow, looking quite worried.
"...Are you sure this is the safest way to tell Sealand about our relationship without having Sweden rip out our spines?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
...Oh God, I fail. Hardcore! DX You can tell I came up with this at the spur of the moment and just made it up as I went along without much planning!
I'm sorry, OP, if this isn't what you were looking for. It's just that... the prompt seemed so open for something cracky and lol-worthy.
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THANK YOU!
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No worries! I had a few laughs myself. XD
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Well I was imagining either England reading America bedtime story (don't ask why they brought this up), or the other way around, whilst the story is porn or fanfic of themselves. xD
Came up with this idea when I gave a R18 fanfic link to my sis right before bedtime xD
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ROFLMAO! Nice way to go sleep.
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Ahh I'm such a demanding OP, I'm so sorry!
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Author!Anon, you totally win!
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Thank you so much! Totally the desired reaction, thank you!
Whoo-hoo~! ♥♥♥ Thank you~!
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...I get to be the one who wears the pants, though, right? *brick'd*
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