Ivan slammed the phone down on its receiver hard enough for a twang to echo through the room. It had been days since he’d last heard from Alfred, and he was getting worried. He had just been on the phone with a seemingly unconcerned Arthur, hoping that perhaps he would have heard something, but, to Ivan's dismay, Arthur had not heard anything. In fact, he had told him not to be concerned, as Alfred was probably off on his stupid adventures again. He sighed, picking up the phone once more. If anyone knew where Alfred was, it would be his brother. He dialed the number and waited, frowning as it went to the answering machine. He sighed, looking at the list of numbers Alfred had given him, in case of the rare occasion that he didn’t answer his own phone. Eventually, Ivan found Matthew’s cell phone number scribbled in at the end of the list. Alfred had almost forgotten about it when he was making it. He dialed quickly, his free hand picking up his pipe on the table unconsciously as he waited for an answer. He tightened his grip as an answer came.
“Hello?” Ivan frowned slightly.
“Privyet, Matthew. I was actually hoping you could help me. Have you heard from your brother at all? Alfred has not answered his phone in some time.” There was silence on the other end for a few moments.
“Well, the other day, he called me to watch the kids for him. Apparently New York has gone missing, so he went out to search for him.” The tone in his voice caused Ivan’s frown to deepen. Hadn’t New York been the one babysitting for them a few days ago?
“Is that so? And you’ve not heard back from him yet? Aren’t you concerned about your brother?” There was silence again, and Ivan felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle against his skin.
“…Al does these things sometimes. He left the kids with me and disappeared for a month once during the 70s, and came back on his own when he felt like it. It’s just what he does. He’s a free spirit. I’m sure someone like you wouldn’t be able to understand how important his freedom is to him. Maybe he just needed a break, and made up the whole thing about New York being gone.” There was something about the entire exchange that wasn’t sitting well with Ivan. Perhaps it was the rustling in the background; maybe it was the detached tone in Matthew’s voice - had he ever spoken like this before?
“I see…If New York is missing, where do you think Alfred would go to look for him?” There was an exasperated sigh on the other end.
“He said he was going to check Greenwood Lake. New York likes to go there sometimes. It’s close to home but pretty remote at the same time. There are some dead spots, which could explain why you can’t reach him.” Ivan’s grip on the pipe tightened.
“Perhaps I will go check on him there then. Thank you, Matthew. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”
“Of course! Thanks Ivan. I app-“ Ivan interjected before he could hang up.
“Though you may want to look into why Alfred’s home phone is dead, da? It appears the line has been cut.” He hung up before Matthew got the chance to respond. He would have to find where this Greenwood Lake was. He turned, heading for the door. As he was pulling it open, the phone rang. He raised a brow as he walked over, answering it.
“Hel-New Jersey? Yes, this is Ivan. What is wrong?” His eyes widened and the pipe fell from his hand as he listened to the voice on the other end. As he listened to her recanting Arizona’s tale, he felt himself go numb. This couldn’t be real. Alfred was too strong to just be taken down. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt his states. He hung up the phone after New Jersey did, and reached down, picking up his pipe. He couldn’t feel it in his grasp. He stared at the phone, waiting for something; anything. Finally, a thought came to him, and he picked it up one last time, dialing the number scribbled on the scrap of paper. He didn’t have to wait long for the answer.
“Oh Matthew! Before I go to the lake, there is one more thing I should do!.” His gaze darkened and his tone lowered dangerously with it. “Let me speak to my son.” The phone disconnected in his ear and he nodded to himself. He had found Alfred, and he was running out of time to save him.
Re: Alpha (7/?)
anonymous
May 30 2010, 12:33:29 UTC
Awesome, man. Ivan to the rescue *has a hero!Ivan kink* I think you handled Matt's derangement and his faking normality really well and believable, authoranon. I'm so glad no more states will die without anyone knowing ;_; (I wonder what Netherlands/England or whoever New York's other dad was, will say about this or will do to Canada). I also liked when Russia asked to speak with his son; and finally, I love the way you handle America fathering all those kids from different parents, and the open-minded way the other fathers that aren't Matthew accept that ^^ *hoping for some Alaska-Russia interaction soon*
New Jersey swallowed heavily as she approached Alfred’s house. The lights were on, but only Matthew’s car was in the driveway. She didn’t have time to wonder where Alfred or New York’s cars were, though. She had a mission. She walked up to the door, taking a deep breath as she rang the doorbell.
Matthew pulled the needle out of Alfred’s arm, setting it aside as he carefully tucked the arm back under his comforter. He nodded to himself as the doorbell echoed through the house.
“That should keep you from trying to get up. You shouldn’t strain yourself so much. You have to be in your best health now, Al.” He leaned over, kissing Alfred’s forehead lightly. “You should try to get some rest. I’ll take care of the trespassers.” He stood from where he was sitting at the side of the bed, picking up the handgun he set on the bedside table. All Alfred could do as Matthew left the room was watch, trying to move an unresponsive body.
Getting no response, New Jersey let herself in slowly, keeping her hand in her pocket. She had, of course, brought a small handgun of her own with her. She didn’t plan on the same thing happening to her as it had to New York, but it would take Ivan a while to get to the town from the Russian Embassy in the city. She knew it was a gamble. Hopefully coming here would give her time to keep Matthew from deciding to pack everyone up and flee. She looked around the living room warily. Everything was as Alfred kept it, right down to the toys scattered on the floor by the television. Footsteps drew her attention to the stairwell and she whirled around, watching as Matthew casually made his way down them.
“I must say, I’m surprised you got here so…ah, New Jersey! It’s been a while.” Matthew held the gun behind his leg, out of her line of vision, as he reached the bottom of the stairs and finally saw who had arrived. “Did you need something? Alfred’s not here right now.” New Jersey swallowed heavily and nodded a bit.
“I…That’s a shame. Are you babysitting for him?” Matthew nodded.
“Yes. The kids are in bed now. I was just getting ready to sleep myself. Would you like me to take a message for him?” New Jersey scowled.
“Yeah.” She braced herself, closing her hand around the gun in her pocket. “Tell him I found Arizona, and I called for help. Someone is coming to save him and the kids from you.” She started to pull her gun out, but froze as, instead of attacking, Matthew laughed.
“So that’s where he went. I guess that makes a lot more sense than running to a stranger’s house. I forgot how close to your border he lives.” Matthew grinned as he walked toward her. “I have to hand it to him. He’s a smart kid. He even managed to find your house from here pretty quickly. He must have been running the whole time. The poor thing. He was so tired wasn’t he? I can just see it. Tell me, New Jersey, did he collapse against you, hugging your leg, panting and crying as he tried to tell you his story? Did it just break your heart?” New Jersey swallowed heavily. Everything he said was true.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to him? He’s your brother! He loves you!” Matthew smiled.
“I know he does. I love him, too.” New Jersey shook her head.
“This isn’t love! This is…this is…it’s like you’ve completely snapped!” Matthew scowled and stopped, standing just in front of her. New Jersey’s hand shook as she tightened her grip on her gun, wondering if she’d be able to pull a weapon on the man before her. He wasn’t really her uncle, just as Alfred wasn’t really her father, but they’d treated her as such and she’d done the same.
“You love New York, don’t you New Jersey?” She frowned as she took a few steps back from him.
“I did. Don’t try to fool me into thinking he’s still alive. I know what you did.” Matthew shook his head.
“That’s not relevant! I’m asking you if you loved him. And you did. It hurt, didn’t it, when you found out that he was just so in love with Massachusetts, didn’t it? But you couldn’t say anything. Who would care? After all, you’re just siblings. You can’t love your brother, not the way you did. You and I, we’re a lot alike like that. You can’t mean to say you never thought of something like this. Didn’t you hate Massachusetts?” New Jersey shook her head, trying to fight back tears.
“No…No! She’s my sister! I could never hate her!” Matthew reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to cry. I told you, we’re the same. The only difference is that I’m doing something about it. You know New York loved you. He just couldn’t see it. I know Alfred loves me. And that’s why I’m taking good care of him. I’m helping him see that.” He moved his arm around her waist. “But you’re worried about Alfred and the kids, right? I told you. They’re safe and sound and taken care of. Come on, I’ll show you.” He started leading her to the stairs. His grip on her waist was tight, and she had no choice but to follow his movements. She just nodded, playing along with him for the time being. She had to buy more time.
Matthew led her to the hall, opening the door to Alaska and Arizona’s room. Alaska was sound asleep in his bed, hugging a stuffed moose toy that he had been given long ago. Hawaii and New Mexico were huddled together on one bed in their room. Their breathing was slow and even. New Jersey had babysat enough times to know they were faking, but said nothing. Finally, Matthew opened the door to Alfred’s room. New Jersey walked in, frowning as she saw Alfred sitting up in bed, glaring angrily at Matthew.
“Look Al. New Jersey came to check up on you. Do you know why she did?” Alfred scowled and swallowed before speaking.
“Get your hands off her! I already gave you what you wanted!” Matthew shook his head.
“No. I took what I wanted. We don’t know if we have it yet.” He grabbed New Jersey’s hand out of her pocket, taking the gun from her hand before she could react. “You never answered my question. Do you know why New Jersey came here, Al?” Alfred glared again.
“No.” Matthew smiled.
“Because Arizona escaped and sent her here. Do you know what this means, Al? It means I have to kill her. We’ll have to have another state together. Isn’t that great news? We’ll have a wonderful, big family together in no time.” Alfred shook his head frantically, trying to throw the blankets off.
“Stop! Please…don’t. She didn’t do anything…Mattie, please. If you loved me, you wouldn’t be doing this…” He tried to push off the bed, but only fell off it. Matthew watched as he struggled to pick himself up.
“I told you not to strain yourself, Al. We have children to worry about, and I gave you strong muscle relaxants. You can’t go throwing yourself around. You’ll get hurt. Who will take care of New Mexico? Hawaii? Sweet little Alaska?” New Jersey pushed free from his grasp, rushing to Alfred’s side. Matthew scowled as he reached over, pulling her back by grabbing a fistful of her hair. “You should have stayed at home.” He pressed the barrel of her gun against her temple, cocking it and moving his finger over the trigger. “But you should understand why I’m doing this. After all, we’re the same. I’ll tell you what. I’ll get Massachusetts for you, just to show you there’s no hard feelings.” Alfred’s pleas for him to stop and New Jersey’s sobs were lost among the thoughts racing through his mind. He hesitated for a moment and that was all that was needed. A pipe swung down from behind him, knocking the gun from his hand. A loud shot rang through the room as the force of landing shot it off, the bullet embedding harmlessly in Alfred’s mattress. Before anyone could react, a gloved hand grabbed Matthew’s shoulder, pulling him around to stare up at a furious Ivan.
“What have you done to my family?” Matthew could only stare.
Matthew stared up at the looming figure of Ivan and scowled.
“Your family?” He sneered in indignation. “I’m trying to protect my family from you!” Ivan shook his head and looked over at New Jersey. She had moved back to Alfred’s side, getting him back into a sitting position. He was too heavy for her to move onto the bed alone.
“New Jersey. You will take the children and leave this place. It’s not safe here.” New Jersey nodded and started for the door. She was cut off as Matthew pulled out his other gun. She had forgotten it.
“No one is going anywhere until I say so.” He moved to stand in front of Alfred, shifting his aim between Ivan and New Jersey. “I’m the one with the gun here, and that means I control the situation. What are you really going to do with a pipe, Ivan, when I’m all the way over here?” Ivan scowled, tightening his grip on the metal weapon. Matthew looked at New Jersey again. “If you move even a centimeter towards that door, I’ll-“He stopped as a hand closed around his ankle, looking down to see that Alfred had lunged forward to do so.
“Mat-Mattie…Matthew…please. I know this isn’t you. This isn’t the Mattie I love. This isn’t my brother.” He looked up at him, pleading. The grip on Matthew’s leg wasn’t strong. He could easily be kicked aside. He was banking on the things that Matthew kept saying through this entire nightmare; hoping he could appeal to the rational side of him. He knew it was there. He just had to find it. Matthew stared at him for a moment before speaking.
“Tell me you love me, Al. Say it and mean it.” Alfred closed his eyes, sighing, and tried to think of how to say this.
“Mattie, “ He opened his eyes, looking up at him again. “I do love you. I love you so much and I’ll say it as often as you want me to, but…” He swallowed, frowning. Even something as simple as this was a challenge. How strong were those muscle relaxants and how much did Matthew use? “It will never be the way you want me to. You’re my family. You’re one of the most important people into the world to me, but you’ll never be my love.” The gun shook in Matthew’s hand and he secured his grip on it.
“Al…” Alfred took a breath, collecting his thoughts.
“Look at what you’re doing, Mattie. You know this isn’t you. This isn’t what you do to someone you love. Look at me, Mattie; what you’ve done to me. I can’t move. Your nieces are terrified of you. You’re using your nephew’s love for you against him. And for what? How could I ever love you the way you want me to for destroying what I hold dear to me? For destroying my-no. Our family?” Behind them, New Jersey and Ivan listened quietly. Ivan nudged New Jersey’s arm, motioning with his head towards the door. She nodded, understanding, and slowly backed out of the room. Matthew hesitated and Alfred used the opportunity. For better or for worse, he was getting through to him, and he wasn’t going to lose that. “Our family, Mattie. Think about it. Think about your children. Our children. How will they feel to find out what you’ve been doing? Do you think they’ll be proud of you?”
As soon as she escaped the room, New Jersey turned, quickly heading back to New Mexico and Hawaii’s room. She knew they were awake and had to assure them that they were safe. It was likely the gunshot had awoken Alaska as well, but if he hadn’t come to Alfred’s room right away he had probably fallen back asleep. New Mexico glanced over her shoulder as the door opened. When New Jersey hurried in without Matthew, she quickly shoved off the blankets. The girls got out of bed, quickly running into New Jersey’s open arms.
“What happened? Did someone get hurt?” “ We heard the gun and then it was really quiet. Is Daddy okay?” “ Where’s Arizona?” “Is Uncle Mattie still crazy?” “Can we leave?” They came at her so quickly. New Jersey could barely make out all of their questions.
“Everything is fine. No one is hurt, but we’re getting out of here now. Be as quiet as possible. Let’s go. Forget about shoes for now.” She ushered them out the door and moved down the hall to Alaska’s room, where Alaska was already peeking out the door. He hadn’t fallen back asleep after all.
“New Jersey, something bad is happening, isn’t it? That’s why Arizona ran away and Uncle Mattie and Daddy are fighting.” New Jersey looked down at him, biting her lip. She glanced at Alfred’s door, which was still ajar, and reached down to scoop him up in her arms.
“Everything will be fine, Alaska. Now come on.” She ushered the girls downstairs with them and out the door to her car.
Ivan watched Matthew closely from where he stood, gripping his pipe tightly. He wanted to beat Matthew with it for every one of his transgressions against his brother, but he could see plainly that’s not what Alfred wanted. He could hear the desperate plea that went unspoken. It doesn’t have to be like this. It doesn’t have to end this way. We could be a family again. Alfred loved all of his family, even if they didn’t always love him. If it were anyone else, Ivan would not have hesitated to dispose of them without a second thought. Here, however, he mouthed his own silent plea to Matthew, not to hurt Alfred anymore; not physically, not emotionally. As Alfred finished speaking, looking up at Matthew and waiting for some kind of reply, Ivan was waiting with him. At the first sign that plea was ignored, he would have to end this.
Matthew’s hands shook as he locked eyes with Alfred. His words rang like dull echoes in his mind. He was hurting Alfred. He was hurting their family. Their family? Alfred did not have a family with him. Families lived and worked together; they loved each other. Alfred did not love him. He never did. He never will. He was sitting in front of Matthew telling him those very words. His chest ached. This was wrong. He didn’t do things like this. He was used to being ignored and forgotten. Wasn’t that the joke about Canada? Everyone always forgot it was there; forgot he was. You don’t care about the feelings of someone you always forget and you certainly don’t love them. Matthew had always known this. He had always accepted it as inevitability. He cherished the time he had with Alfred, and went home alone to a dark, cold house.
Alfred.
His eyes met the clouded blue below him. Clouded. Had he done that to the clear skies he admired? Had he destroyed what he loved? Who he loved? He watched his love, practically groveling at his feet. Alfred’s grip, once firm and sure, was barely present around his ankle. Was this what he had reduced him to? The thought sickened him. He had caused so much suffering for the one he loved the most. He swallowed heavily.
“Al…I…I’m so sorry…I…” He felt his voice catch more than he heard it. A drop of water landed on his hand. As he brought his hand up, realizing he was crying, he remembered the gun he was holding. “I…I’ve hurt you so much…” He brought the gun away from his face. Alfred stared blankly as Matthew slowly moved until he was holding the barrel between his eyes. “I’ve destroyed you, and now you’re suffering. I’ll end your pain, Al, and then…” His thumb moved to the hammer. “And then, I’ll join yo-“ He cut off as something hard glanced the back of his head. The world turned dark as he fell forward, the gun dropping harmlessly to the ground as something warm cushioned his fall. There was a muffled yell in the distance, but it faded to nothing as he let the darkness overtake him.
Oh America you and your big heart are just breaking my heart here. Loved the bits with the kids and Russia restraining himself in order to do what America clearly wants but ready at a moments notice should that go sour.
“I don’t know. New Jersey took the kids and brought them out to see Texas for a while. Apparently he completely snapped. Dad won’t say anything, and she won’t confirm, but I heard he killed New York, too.”
“I don’t understand why he would do that, though. He’s usually so levelheaded.”
The low drone of voices around him drew Matthew out of his slumber. It took a while before he recognized the airy tone of Ontario’s voice and the louder voice that could only be Michigan. Why had they come to…wherever he was? The familiar smells and warmth of Alfred’s house were gone, replaced with something sterile and cold. Was he in a hospital? There was a pounding sensation in the back of his head, and he was fairly certainly he wasn’t ready to deal with light. Instead, he continued listening.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about all this. I mean, I don’t know what happened. Dad said it’s nothing to worry about, but have you seen him? They still haven’t gotten whatever it was out of his system.”
“They haven’t figured it out yet?”
“No, and Pops hasn’t been awake to tell them. They’re doing what they can now, and making him stay awake. Otherwise, it’s just running its course.” The door opened and the voices quieted. Footsteps approached his bed and chairs scuffled to the side. Matthew’s eyes fluttered open finally as fabric crinkled to his side and a cool breath fell on his face. He was face to face with Ivan.
“I…I…Iva--….” Terror gripped him as Ivan reached toward his neck slowly. He was going to die. He blinked as Ivan's hand reached beyond his neck, picking up the remote on the other side of his head. He said nothing, barely even sparing Matthew a glance as he pushed a bit. The bed slowly lifted to an upright position, and he could see what had happened. There, in a wheelchair near the foot of his bed, was Alfred.
“Good to see you’re awake, Pops. Me and Ontario-“
“Ontario and I! Where did you learn to speak English? Americ-…oh. Nevermind. That explains everything. We’re going to get lunch, so we’ll leave you be now.” Matthew just nodded dumbly as Ontario shoved Michigan out of the room, closing the door behind them. As soon as the door clicked shut, Ivan moved over to Alfred’s chair again, pushing him to Matthew’s side. Matthew could only stare as Alfred smiled tiredly. He thought back to what he had overheard just moments before. He had done this to his brother.
“Hey Mattie. I was hoping you’d be up by now. How’s your head?” Matthew blinked a few times. After all he had done, how was Alfred speaking to him so casually?
“It feels like Ivan went to town on it.” He glanced over at where Ivan was standing sentinel over Alfred, wary. Ivan just smiled, and in his mind it seemed darker than it probably was.
“Well, he only hit you once, but I’m sure he made it count.” Alfred’s smile was weak, and Matthew wondered how it was possible to make jokes about that kind of thing. He nodded slowly and swallowed.
“Hey, Al. I…” He trailed off. He couldn’t just say he was sorry. Things didn’t work like that in the real world. He had killed one of his states, held him prisoner in his own home, and tortured his children. He tried to manipulate them, drugged him up beyond uselessness, and raped him. You didn’t just say ‘I’m sorry,’ to that. But what did you say?
“I just want to get this out now, Mattie, before you say anything.” Alfred sighed, hesitating. Ivan moved a hand to his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He looked up at Ivan, and Matthew wondered how much the gaze between them was saying. From where he was sitting, it seemed to speak volumes. How could he not have noticed this before? They probably finished each others’ sentences, too. He was drawn from his thoughts as Alfred looked at him again. “You’re a fucking asshole.”
Alpha (10b/10)
anonymous
June 3 2010, 02:07:56 UTC
“I’ll tell you when I’m done, so let me finish.” His tone was sharp and Matthew snapped his mouth closed. He knew he deserved anything Alfred said now that his life was no longer in danger. “I should hate you for everything you’ve done. You have completely destroyed my life. You terrorized my children. You-“ He shook his head, and Matthew imagined he was pushing other memories away. “You are never allowed to visit my house again. I refuse to let you anywhere near my children.”
Matthew nodded as he listened, closing his eyes. It felt as though Alfred had punched through his chest and was squeezing his dying heart in his fist. It hurt more than the throbbing in the back of his head ever would. He opened his eyes again to see Alfred staring at him, an emotionless expression on his features.
“Al…I know that it doesn’t-“He took a shaky breath, both trying to buy time to find words and stave off the tears at the corners of his eyes. “It doesn’t come close to being enough, but, I am so sorry. I…I know I’ll never be able to take back what I did. I can’t even explain my actions. I-“Alfred reached over, taking his hand in his own, squeezing it lightly.
“You don’t have to. Your own words the whole time made it very clear what you were doing and why. I don’t like it, and it will be a long time before I ever trust you again, but I guess that’s one of the nice things about being a nation. We have that kind of time. But…there are some things I have to ask you. They aren’t easy questions, so bear with me.” Matthew nodded and sighed, leaning back against his pillow.
“You don’t have to ask. They’re all in Greenwood Lake. First, I got of New York’s car. That’s why my shoes were wet. Then, after I killed New York, I thought that would be the best way to get rid of the body. So, I put it in your car and sent it into the lake as well. No one was around. They probably haven’t discovered them yet.” He swallowed heavily as he finished. He couldn’t bear to look at Alfred after that, and instead turned his gaze to the ceiling. The conversation between Ontario and Michigan came to mind. “And it was chlorzoxazone.” He could feel Alfred’s confused expression. “That’s what I injected you with.” He opened his eyes, flinching away as Ivan reached out, grabbing the collar of his hospital robe.
“Alfred may forgive you for what you’ve done, but I will not. I would recommend that Matthew sleeps with one eye open, da?” Matthew nodded.
“O-okay…I-I’m sorry!” Ivan stared at him for a moment before his attention was pulled down to Alfred, who was tugging at his jacket.
“Let him go, Ivan. He’s suffering enough on his own without you terrorizing him.” Alfred sighed and looked at Matthew again as Ivan pulled away. “I am going to do what I can to keep what happened under wraps, so your own children don’t hate you.” He paused, licking his lips. “I meant everything I’ve said. I should hate you for everything you’ve done, but I don’t. You’re my brother, Mattie, and I’ll always love you, you jerk.” He squeezed Matthew’s hand. “The doctor’s are probably coming to check on you soon. After they let you out of here, we’re going to get you some help, since you obviously need it. I’m going to go though. I hate hospitals.” Matthew nodded.
“Thank you, Al. For everything. I…I would have abandoned me, after all I’ve done.” Alfred smiled.
“No, you wouldn’t have. You’re not that kind of person either.” Matthew smiled and leaned over the side of the bed, moving his arms around Alfred. He had felt it when they were talking, but now, with Alfred stiffening under his touch before moving to return the hug, Matthew knew. It would be a long time before things were ever the same between them, but Alfred was willing to try. He glanced at Ivan, who was glaring silently at him over Alfred’s shoulder. The least he could do was try for him, too.
“I won’t blame you if you say no, Al, but is that best man spot still open?”
Oh America you are far more understanding then I'd ever be in that situation. True I know they're nations and so things are different but still way to be extremely big hearted.
Russia was well and truly awesome throughout as were all the characters.
So now I'm curious...did Canada's plan work? Did America get pregnant from when he raped him? Maybe it was mentioned and I missed it I've been such a flake this week.
Anyway thank you again for the fill it was a very nice read!
I kinda wanted to leave the ending open. Like...Maybe right now, with the shock and trauma and everything, America's a little confused about how he feels. Maybe he'll end up hating Canada. Maybe he won't.
Maybe Canada will have been right all along and he'll come to his door drunk one night talking about how he and Russia were getting a divorce and he should have listened to him from the start.
As for the baby...I didn't include it, because I don't know if a hospital can tell that from just one or two nights. Maybe he'll find out later he is. Maybe he won't. He would of course keep it, but he might say that Ivan is the father instead.
Thanks for reading! I'm sooooo sorry about the hiatus, but I was working on graduating. I hope this is somewhat what you were looking for!
Hellllllll YEAH!
anonymous
June 25 2010, 16:43:36 UTC
Anon recently found this again on my list of "FUCK I REALLY NEED TO READ THIS BUT OH GOD WHERE DID THE AUTHOR!ANON GO?!?!?!!"
And can I just say it's absolutely amazing! I don't know how America even managed to be in the same room with Canada after all that. He's just too sweet ;A;
And OMG New Jersey! Russia!!! Thank god they found him in time
Summary: This is the greatest shit in the world. Have my babies.
“Hello?” Ivan frowned slightly.
“Privyet, Matthew. I was actually hoping you could help me. Have you heard from your brother at all? Alfred has not answered his phone in some time.” There was silence on the other end for a few moments.
“Well, the other day, he called me to watch the kids for him. Apparently New York has gone missing, so he went out to search for him.” The tone in his voice caused Ivan’s frown to deepen. Hadn’t New York been the one babysitting for them a few days ago?
“Is that so? And you’ve not heard back from him yet? Aren’t you concerned about your brother?” There was silence again, and Ivan felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle against his skin.
“…Al does these things sometimes. He left the kids with me and disappeared for a month once during the 70s, and came back on his own when he felt like it. It’s just what he does. He’s a free spirit. I’m sure someone like you wouldn’t be able to understand how important his freedom is to him. Maybe he just needed a break, and made up the whole thing about New York being gone.” There was something about the entire exchange that wasn’t sitting well with Ivan. Perhaps it was the rustling in the background; maybe it was the detached tone in Matthew’s voice - had he ever spoken like this before?
“I see…If New York is missing, where do you think Alfred would go to look for him?” There was an exasperated sigh on the other end.
“He said he was going to check Greenwood Lake. New York likes to go there sometimes. It’s close to home but pretty remote at the same time. There are some dead spots, which could explain why you can’t reach him.” Ivan’s grip on the pipe tightened.
“Perhaps I will go check on him there then. Thank you, Matthew. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”
“Of course! Thanks Ivan. I app-“ Ivan interjected before he could hang up.
“Though you may want to look into why Alfred’s home phone is dead, da? It appears the line has been cut.” He hung up before Matthew got the chance to respond. He would have to find where this Greenwood Lake was. He turned, heading for the door. As he was pulling it open, the phone rang. He raised a brow as he walked over, answering it.
“Hel-New Jersey? Yes, this is Ivan. What is wrong?” His eyes widened and the pipe fell from his hand as he listened to the voice on the other end. As he listened to her recanting Arizona’s tale, he felt himself go numb. This couldn’t be real. Alfred was too strong to just be taken down. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt his states. He hung up the phone after New Jersey did, and reached down, picking up his pipe. He couldn’t feel it in his grasp. He stared at the phone, waiting for something; anything. Finally, a thought came to him, and he picked it up one last time, dialing the number scribbled on the scrap of paper. He didn’t have to wait long for the answer.
“Oh Matthew! Before I go to the lake, there is one more thing I should do!.” His gaze darkened and his tone lowered dangerously with it. “Let me speak to my son.” The phone disconnected in his ear and he nodded to himself. He had found Alfred, and he was running out of time to save him.
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I think you handled Matt's derangement and his faking normality really well and believable, authoranon. I'm so glad no more states will die without anyone knowing ;_; (I wonder what Netherlands/England or whoever New York's other dad was, will say about this or will do to Canada). I also liked when Russia asked to speak with his son; and finally, I love the way you handle America fathering all those kids from different parents, and the open-minded way the other fathers that aren't Matthew accept that ^^
*hoping for some Alaska-Russia interaction soon*
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Matthew pulled the needle out of Alfred’s arm, setting it aside as he carefully tucked the arm back under his comforter. He nodded to himself as the doorbell echoed through the house.
“That should keep you from trying to get up. You shouldn’t strain yourself so much. You have to be in your best health now, Al.” He leaned over, kissing Alfred’s forehead lightly. “You should try to get some rest. I’ll take care of the trespassers.” He stood from where he was sitting at the side of the bed, picking up the handgun he set on the bedside table. All Alfred could do as Matthew left the room was watch, trying to move an unresponsive body.
Getting no response, New Jersey let herself in slowly, keeping her hand in her pocket. She had, of course, brought a small handgun of her own with her. She didn’t plan on the same thing happening to her as it had to New York, but it would take Ivan a while to get to the town from the Russian Embassy in the city. She knew it was a gamble. Hopefully coming here would give her time to keep Matthew from deciding to pack everyone up and flee. She looked around the living room warily. Everything was as Alfred kept it, right down to the toys scattered on the floor by the television. Footsteps drew her attention to the stairwell and she whirled around, watching as Matthew casually made his way down them.
“I must say, I’m surprised you got here so…ah, New Jersey! It’s been a while.” Matthew held the gun behind his leg, out of her line of vision, as he reached the bottom of the stairs and finally saw who had arrived. “Did you need something? Alfred’s not here right now.” New Jersey swallowed heavily and nodded a bit.
“I…That’s a shame. Are you babysitting for him?” Matthew nodded.
“Yes. The kids are in bed now. I was just getting ready to sleep myself. Would you like me to take a message for him?” New Jersey scowled.
“Yeah.” She braced herself, closing her hand around the gun in her pocket. “Tell him I found Arizona, and I called for help. Someone is coming to save him and the kids from you.” She started to pull her gun out, but froze as, instead of attacking, Matthew laughed.
“So that’s where he went. I guess that makes a lot more sense than running to a stranger’s house. I forgot how close to your border he lives.” Matthew grinned as he walked toward her. “I have to hand it to him. He’s a smart kid. He even managed to find your house from here pretty quickly. He must have been running the whole time. The poor thing. He was so tired wasn’t he? I can just see it. Tell me, New Jersey, did he collapse against you, hugging your leg, panting and crying as he tried to tell you his story? Did it just break your heart?” New Jersey swallowed heavily. Everything he said was true.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to him? He’s your brother! He loves you!” Matthew smiled.
“I know he does. I love him, too.” New Jersey shook her head.
“This isn’t love! This is…this is…it’s like you’ve completely snapped!” Matthew scowled and stopped, standing just in front of her. New Jersey’s hand shook as she tightened her grip on her gun, wondering if she’d be able to pull a weapon on the man before her. He wasn’t really her uncle, just as Alfred wasn’t really her father, but they’d treated her as such and she’d done the same.
“You love New York, don’t you New Jersey?” She frowned as she took a few steps back from him.
“I did. Don’t try to fool me into thinking he’s still alive. I know what you did.” Matthew shook his head.
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“No…No! She’s my sister! I could never hate her!” Matthew reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to cry. I told you, we’re the same. The only difference is that I’m doing something about it. You know New York loved you. He just couldn’t see it. I know Alfred loves me. And that’s why I’m taking good care of him. I’m helping him see that.” He moved his arm around her waist. “But you’re worried about Alfred and the kids, right? I told you. They’re safe and sound and taken care of. Come on, I’ll show you.” He started leading her to the stairs. His grip on her waist was tight, and she had no choice but to follow his movements. She just nodded, playing along with him for the time being. She had to buy more time.
Matthew led her to the hall, opening the door to Alaska and Arizona’s room. Alaska was sound asleep in his bed, hugging a stuffed moose toy that he had been given long ago. Hawaii and New Mexico were huddled together on one bed in their room. Their breathing was slow and even. New Jersey had babysat enough times to know they were faking, but said nothing. Finally, Matthew opened the door to Alfred’s room. New Jersey walked in, frowning as she saw Alfred sitting up in bed, glaring angrily at Matthew.
“Look Al. New Jersey came to check up on you. Do you know why she did?” Alfred scowled and swallowed before speaking.
“Get your hands off her! I already gave you what you wanted!” Matthew shook his head.
“No. I took what I wanted. We don’t know if we have it yet.” He grabbed New Jersey’s hand out of her pocket, taking the gun from her hand before she could react. “You never answered my question. Do you know why New Jersey came here, Al?” Alfred glared again.
“No.” Matthew smiled.
“Because Arizona escaped and sent her here. Do you know what this means, Al? It means I have to kill her. We’ll have to have another state together. Isn’t that great news? We’ll have a wonderful, big family together in no time.” Alfred shook his head frantically, trying to throw the blankets off.
“Stop! Please…don’t. She didn’t do anything…Mattie, please. If you loved me, you wouldn’t be doing this…” He tried to push off the bed, but only fell off it. Matthew watched as he struggled to pick himself up.
“I told you not to strain yourself, Al. We have children to worry about, and I gave you strong muscle relaxants. You can’t go throwing yourself around. You’ll get hurt. Who will take care of New Mexico? Hawaii? Sweet little Alaska?” New Jersey pushed free from his grasp, rushing to Alfred’s side. Matthew scowled as he reached over, pulling her back by grabbing a fistful of her hair. “You should have stayed at home.” He pressed the barrel of her gun against her temple, cocking it and moving his finger over the trigger. “But you should understand why I’m doing this. After all, we’re the same. I’ll tell you what. I’ll get Massachusetts for you, just to show you there’s no hard feelings.” Alfred’s pleas for him to stop and New Jersey’s sobs were lost among the thoughts racing through his mind. He hesitated for a moment and that was all that was needed. A pipe swung down from behind him, knocking the gun from his hand. A loud shot rang through the room as the force of landing shot it off, the bullet embedding harmlessly in Alfred’s mattress. Before anyone could react, a gloved hand grabbed Matthew’s shoulder, pulling him around to stare up at a furious Ivan.
“What have you done to my family?” Matthew could only stare.
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“Your family?” He sneered in indignation. “I’m trying to protect my family from you!” Ivan shook his head and looked over at New Jersey. She had moved back to Alfred’s side, getting him back into a sitting position. He was too heavy for her to move onto the bed alone.
“New Jersey. You will take the children and leave this place. It’s not safe here.” New Jersey nodded and started for the door. She was cut off as Matthew pulled out his other gun. She had forgotten it.
“No one is going anywhere until I say so.” He moved to stand in front of Alfred, shifting his aim between Ivan and New Jersey. “I’m the one with the gun here, and that means I control the situation. What are you really going to do with a pipe, Ivan, when I’m all the way over here?” Ivan scowled, tightening his grip on the metal weapon. Matthew looked at New Jersey again. “If you move even a centimeter towards that door, I’ll-“He stopped as a hand closed around his ankle, looking down to see that Alfred had lunged forward to do so.
“Mat-Mattie…Matthew…please. I know this isn’t you. This isn’t the Mattie I love. This isn’t my brother.” He looked up at him, pleading. The grip on Matthew’s leg wasn’t strong. He could easily be kicked aside. He was banking on the things that Matthew kept saying through this entire nightmare; hoping he could appeal to the rational side of him. He knew it was there. He just had to find it. Matthew stared at him for a moment before speaking.
“Tell me you love me, Al. Say it and mean it.” Alfred closed his eyes, sighing, and tried to think of how to say this.
“Mattie, “ He opened his eyes, looking up at him again. “I do love you. I love you so much and I’ll say it as often as you want me to, but…” He swallowed, frowning. Even something as simple as this was a challenge. How strong were those muscle relaxants and how much did Matthew use? “It will never be the way you want me to. You’re my family. You’re one of the most important people into the world to me, but you’ll never be my love.” The gun shook in Matthew’s hand and he secured his grip on it.
“Al…” Alfred took a breath, collecting his thoughts.
“Look at what you’re doing, Mattie. You know this isn’t you. This isn’t what you do to someone you love. Look at me, Mattie; what you’ve done to me. I can’t move. Your nieces are terrified of you. You’re using your nephew’s love for you against him. And for what? How could I ever love you the way you want me to for destroying what I hold dear to me? For destroying my-no. Our family?” Behind them, New Jersey and Ivan listened quietly. Ivan nudged New Jersey’s arm, motioning with his head towards the door. She nodded, understanding, and slowly backed out of the room. Matthew hesitated and Alfred used the opportunity. For better or for worse, he was getting through to him, and he wasn’t going to lose that. “Our family, Mattie. Think about it. Think about your children. Our children. How will they feel to find out what you’ve been doing? Do you think they’ll be proud of you?”
As soon as she escaped the room, New Jersey turned, quickly heading back to New Mexico and Hawaii’s room. She knew they were awake and had to assure them that they were safe. It was likely the gunshot had awoken Alaska as well, but if he hadn’t come to Alfred’s room right away he had probably fallen back asleep. New Mexico glanced over her shoulder as the door opened. When New Jersey hurried in without Matthew, she quickly shoved off the blankets. The girls got out of bed, quickly running into New Jersey’s open arms.
“What happened? Did someone get hurt?”
“ We heard the gun and then it was really quiet. Is Daddy okay?”
“ Where’s Arizona?”
“Is Uncle Mattie still crazy?”
“Can we leave?” They came at her so quickly. New Jersey could barely make out all of their questions.
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“New Jersey, something bad is happening, isn’t it? That’s why Arizona ran away and Uncle Mattie and Daddy are fighting.” New Jersey looked down at him, biting her lip. She glanced at Alfred’s door, which was still ajar, and reached down to scoop him up in her arms.
“Everything will be fine, Alaska. Now come on.” She ushered the girls downstairs with them and out the door to her car.
Ivan watched Matthew closely from where he stood, gripping his pipe tightly. He wanted to beat Matthew with it for every one of his transgressions against his brother, but he could see plainly that’s not what Alfred wanted. He could hear the desperate plea that went unspoken. It doesn’t have to be like this. It doesn’t have to end this way. We could be a family again. Alfred loved all of his family, even if they didn’t always love him. If it were anyone else, Ivan would not have hesitated to dispose of them without a second thought. Here, however, he mouthed his own silent plea to Matthew, not to hurt Alfred anymore; not physically, not emotionally. As Alfred finished speaking, looking up at Matthew and waiting for some kind of reply, Ivan was waiting with him. At the first sign that plea was ignored, he would have to end this.
Matthew’s hands shook as he locked eyes with Alfred. His words rang like dull echoes in his mind. He was hurting Alfred. He was hurting their family. Their family? Alfred did not have a family with him. Families lived and worked together; they loved each other. Alfred did not love him. He never did. He never will. He was sitting in front of Matthew telling him those very words. His chest ached. This was wrong. He didn’t do things like this. He was used to being ignored and forgotten. Wasn’t that the joke about Canada? Everyone always forgot it was there; forgot he was. You don’t care about the feelings of someone you always forget and you certainly don’t love them. Matthew had always known this. He had always accepted it as inevitability. He cherished the time he had with Alfred, and went home alone to a dark, cold house.
Alfred.
His eyes met the clouded blue below him. Clouded. Had he done that to the clear skies he admired? Had he destroyed what he loved? Who he loved? He watched his love, practically groveling at his feet. Alfred’s grip, once firm and sure, was barely present around his ankle. Was this what he had reduced him to? The thought sickened him. He had caused so much suffering for the one he loved the most. He swallowed heavily.
“Al…I…I’m so sorry…I…” He felt his voice catch more than he heard it. A drop of water landed on his hand. As he brought his hand up, realizing he was crying, he remembered the gun he was holding. “I…I’ve hurt you so much…” He brought the gun away from his face. Alfred stared blankly as Matthew slowly moved until he was holding the barrel between his eyes. “I’ve destroyed you, and now you’re suffering. I’ll end your pain, Al, and then…” His thumb moved to the hammer. “And then, I’ll join yo-“ He cut off as something hard glanced the back of his head. The world turned dark as he fell forward, the gun dropping harmlessly to the ground as something warm cushioned his fall. There was a muffled yell in the distance, but it faded to nothing as he let the darkness overtake him.
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Well done anon!
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“I don’t understand why he would do that, though. He’s usually so levelheaded.”
The low drone of voices around him drew Matthew out of his slumber. It took a while before he recognized the airy tone of Ontario’s voice and the louder voice that could only be Michigan. Why had they come to…wherever he was? The familiar smells and warmth of Alfred’s house were gone, replaced with something sterile and cold. Was he in a hospital? There was a pounding sensation in the back of his head, and he was fairly certainly he wasn’t ready to deal with light. Instead, he continued listening.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about all this. I mean, I don’t know what happened. Dad said it’s nothing to worry about, but have you seen him? They still haven’t gotten whatever it was out of his system.”
“They haven’t figured it out yet?”
“No, and Pops hasn’t been awake to tell them. They’re doing what they can now, and making him stay awake. Otherwise, it’s just running its course.” The door opened and the voices quieted. Footsteps approached his bed and chairs scuffled to the side. Matthew’s eyes fluttered open finally as fabric crinkled to his side and a cool breath fell on his face. He was face to face with Ivan.
“I…I…Iva--….” Terror gripped him as Ivan reached toward his neck slowly. He was going to die. He blinked as Ivan's hand reached beyond his neck, picking up the remote on the other side of his head. He said nothing, barely even sparing Matthew a glance as he pushed a bit. The bed slowly lifted to an upright position, and he could see what had happened. There, in a wheelchair near the foot of his bed, was Alfred.
“Good to see you’re awake, Pops. Me and Ontario-“
“Ontario and I! Where did you learn to speak English? Americ-…oh. Nevermind. That explains everything. We’re going to get lunch, so we’ll leave you be now.” Matthew just nodded dumbly as Ontario shoved Michigan out of the room, closing the door behind them. As soon as the door clicked shut, Ivan moved over to Alfred’s chair again, pushing him to Matthew’s side. Matthew could only stare as Alfred smiled tiredly. He thought back to what he had overheard just moments before. He had done this to his brother.
“Hey Mattie. I was hoping you’d be up by now. How’s your head?” Matthew blinked a few times. After all he had done, how was Alfred speaking to him so casually?
“It feels like Ivan went to town on it.” He glanced over at where Ivan was standing sentinel over Alfred, wary. Ivan just smiled, and in his mind it seemed darker than it probably was.
“Well, he only hit you once, but I’m sure he made it count.” Alfred’s smile was weak, and Matthew wondered how it was possible to make jokes about that kind of thing. He nodded slowly and swallowed.
“Hey, Al. I…” He trailed off. He couldn’t just say he was sorry. Things didn’t work like that in the real world. He had killed one of his states, held him prisoner in his own home, and tortured his children. He tried to manipulate them, drugged him up beyond uselessness, and raped him. You didn’t just say ‘I’m sorry,’ to that. But what did you say?
“I just want to get this out now, Mattie, before you say anything.” Alfred sighed, hesitating. Ivan moved a hand to his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He looked up at Ivan, and Matthew wondered how much the gaze between them was saying. From where he was sitting, it seemed to speak volumes. How could he not have noticed this before? They probably finished each others’ sentences, too. He was drawn from his thoughts as Alfred looked at him again. “You’re a fucking asshole.”
“I-“ Alfred brought up a hand, cutting him off.
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Matthew nodded as he listened, closing his eyes. It felt as though Alfred had punched through his chest and was squeezing his dying heart in his fist. It hurt more than the throbbing in the back of his head ever would. He opened his eyes again to see Alfred staring at him, an emotionless expression on his features.
“Al…I know that it doesn’t-“He took a shaky breath, both trying to buy time to find words and stave off the tears at the corners of his eyes. “It doesn’t come close to being enough, but, I am so sorry. I…I know I’ll never be able to take back what I did. I can’t even explain my actions. I-“Alfred reached over, taking his hand in his own, squeezing it lightly.
“You don’t have to. Your own words the whole time made it very clear what you were doing and why. I don’t like it, and it will be a long time before I ever trust you again, but I guess that’s one of the nice things about being a nation. We have that kind of time. But…there are some things I have to ask you. They aren’t easy questions, so bear with me.” Matthew nodded and sighed, leaning back against his pillow.
“You don’t have to ask. They’re all in Greenwood Lake. First, I got of New York’s car. That’s why my shoes were wet. Then, after I killed New York, I thought that would be the best way to get rid of the body. So, I put it in your car and sent it into the lake as well. No one was around. They probably haven’t discovered them yet.” He swallowed heavily as he finished. He couldn’t bear to look at Alfred after that, and instead turned his gaze to the ceiling. The conversation between Ontario and Michigan came to mind. “And it was chlorzoxazone.” He could feel Alfred’s confused expression. “That’s what I injected you with.” He opened his eyes, flinching away as Ivan reached out, grabbing the collar of his hospital robe.
“Alfred may forgive you for what you’ve done, but I will not. I would recommend that Matthew sleeps with one eye open, da?” Matthew nodded.
“O-okay…I-I’m sorry!” Ivan stared at him for a moment before his attention was pulled down to Alfred, who was tugging at his jacket.
“Let him go, Ivan. He’s suffering enough on his own without you terrorizing him.” Alfred sighed and looked at Matthew again as Ivan pulled away. “I am going to do what I can to keep what happened under wraps, so your own children don’t hate you.” He paused, licking his lips. “I meant everything I’ve said. I should hate you for everything you’ve done, but I don’t. You’re my brother, Mattie, and I’ll always love you, you jerk.” He squeezed Matthew’s hand. “The doctor’s are probably coming to check on you soon. After they let you out of here, we’re going to get you some help, since you obviously need it. I’m going to go though. I hate hospitals.” Matthew nodded.
“Thank you, Al. For everything. I…I would have abandoned me, after all I’ve done.” Alfred smiled.
“No, you wouldn’t have. You’re not that kind of person either.” Matthew smiled and leaned over the side of the bed, moving his arms around Alfred. He had felt it when they were talking, but now, with Alfred stiffening under his touch before moving to return the hug, Matthew knew. It would be a long time before things were ever the same between them, but Alfred was willing to try. He glanced at Ivan, who was glaring silently at him over Alfred’s shoulder. The least he could do was try for him, too.
“I won’t blame you if you say no, Al, but is that best man spot still open?”
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Russia was well and truly awesome throughout as were all the characters.
So now I'm curious...did Canada's plan work? Did America get pregnant from when he raped him? Maybe it was mentioned and I missed it I've been such a flake this week.
Anyway thank you again for the fill it was a very nice read!
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Maybe Canada will have been right all along and he'll come to his door drunk one night talking about how he and Russia were getting a divorce and he should have listened to him from the start.
As for the baby...I didn't include it, because I don't know if a hospital can tell that from just one or two nights. Maybe he'll find out later he is. Maybe he won't. He would of course keep it, but he might say that Ivan is the father instead.
Thanks for reading! I'm sooooo sorry about the hiatus, but I was working on graduating. I hope this is somewhat what you were looking for!
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And can I just say it's absolutely amazing! I don't know how America even managed to be in the same room with Canada after all that. He's just too sweet ;A;
And OMG New Jersey! Russia!!! Thank god they found him in time
Summary: This is the greatest shit in the world. Have my babies.
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