Hetalia Kink meme part 8 -- CLOSED

Feb 26, 2011 14:01


axis powers
hetalia kink meme
part 8

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Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [1/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 18:27:17 UTC
Hi, this is the first anon who said she might fill this! This idea was too good to resist despite how many ongoing fills I already have, hee.
This is going to be roughly a combination of the film (there is talking crockery) and the original story (there is no singing) and general Hetalia-ness, and in terms of crack I must warn you - America is Gaston. :D
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The woods were dark and cold, thick snow on the ground and the branches bare and twisted. The wind whipped through, biting and whistling and carrying the howl of something far off, and the trees creaked as they lent together, hunched and letting only the smallest slivers of moonlight through to illuminate the horse and its two riders below; two brothers, the oldest holding onto the reins and the youngest behind him, him arms wrapped tightly around his brother's waist, slowly making their way along the path.

"We're lost, brother," the youngest said, peering around at the trees looming over them. The wind picked up, rustling the branches and he squeaked and buried his face in his brother's coat.

"We're not, dammit! I know exactly where we are!" the oldest snapped, digging his heels into the horse's flank. The horse moved to a trot, unsteady on the snow but just as keen as the brothers to leave the forest.

Something howled again, closer and hungry. Both brothers shrieked and the eldest kicked the horse into a gallop, sending them crashing through the trees and kicking up flurries of snow behind them, the wind clawing at their clothes and they could hear the snarls and growls of something chasing, gaining on them.

"Do something, Lovino!" the youngest cried.

"There's a castle up ahead!" the oldest shouted back, his words almost stolen by the wind but his brother held on tighter as he spurred the horse to move faster, slipping a little on the uneven ground but soon the wrought iron gates were in sight, open just wide enough for them to skid through and the oldest brought the horse to a sliding stop, jumping off and running back to the gates to slam them shut.

A pack of wolves stared hungrily at them from the other side, snarling but not coming any closer. After a long moment where the wind howled and no one moved, the wolves slunk off, making no attempt to approach the castle walls.

"That was lucky," the youngest said, still sitting on the horse. "Look, there's lights in the castle! Maybe they have food and fireplaces and delicious pasta!"

"Maybe," the oldest said, feeling uneasy, but they could not leave when the wolves were still nearby. "Let's go," he said, and lead the horse by its reins up the main path, past wide lawns and sprawling flowerbeds that looked tangled and unkempt even under the thick blanket of snow.

They reached the castle doors after a few minutes of walking, the eldest silent and suspicious while the youngest chatted happily about all the wonderful things they were going to find inside. The doors were huge, wide and solid wood, with a thick iron knocker that the oldest pulled and let bang against the door, then again when there was no answer.

"Maybe they can't hear it," the youngest said, sliding off the horse and going to push against the door - it swung open easily, with a low creak, and he shrieked and jumped back.

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Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [2/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 18:30:25 UTC
"Go inside and don't move," the eldest said, with a roll of his eyes. "I'm going to take Alessio to the stables. Stay right here until I get back."

"Okay!" his brother replied, and he skipped inside and pushed the door shut again to keep the cold out, and then turned and gasped. The hallway was beautiful; there were colourful murals on the walls, marble pillars and detailed mouldings, a wide staircase that rose elegantly in the middle and a huge, glittering chandelier above him, so bright and warm and welcoming compared to the bitter cold outside.

He could smell cooking, he realised, something with herbs and meat, and he drifted towards it and out of the hallway without even noticing.

"Feliciano?" the oldest called from the doorway a few minutes later, and then swore loudly when his brother failed to appear. "Idiot! Where are you?"

His voice echoed in the grand hallway but there was no reply, and so he swore again and stomped inside, muttering insults and threats as he started to search the rooms.

"Maître is not going to be happy about this," whispered a candleholder on a table at the side of the hallway.

"Shut up," hissed the teapot sitting inexplicably beside it. "If we're quiet they'll eventually just go away again, and he will never have to know."

"Ah, but the first one, he was beautiful, non? Perhaps if we--"

"No. That's a bloody terrible idea. Now shhh!"

The oldest brother walked back into the hall and looked around, frowning. "Hello?"

The hallway was silent, so he just shrugged and carried on searching, calling for his brother. Eventually he found the kitchen, and Feliciano searching through cupboards, and said, "What the fuck."

"Brother!" Feliciano cried, rushing to him and burying his face in his shoulder. "There's no pasta! Just potatoes and sausages and more potatoes!"

Lovino looked around the kitchen, at the pots and pans that were bubbling away. "Did you start cooking?"

"No! Everything was like this when I came in but there's no one here!"

Lovino huffed in reply and gently pushed his brother away so he could peer at the contents of the pans. "Is there anything edible?"

"I don't know, it all looks kind of mushy and gross." Feliciano picked up a frying pan and swirled the grey-ish contents. A sound like a giggle echoed around the kitchen, and he dropped it back on the stove with a clatter.

"Hey!" an indignant voice shouted behind them, but when they turned all they saw was the fireplace and the wood-chopping axe beside it.

"This place is weird," Feliciano shivered. "Can we go?"

"Yeah," Lovino agreed, grabbing his brother by the hand and pulling him along with him. "We'll get Alessio and get out of here. I think if we go east we can get out of the forest-- ahh!"

"What!" Feliciano screamed, letting go of his hand to fling both arms around his brother and cling to him.

"There was a shadow-- urgh, nothing. Let's go."

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Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 18:33:56 UTC
They had reached the main hallway again, and Lovino had prised his brother off him and was dragging him along with a hand on his arm, marching towards the doors with a scowl. They were nearly there, Lovino reaching out to grab the handle, when suddenly there was a bloodcurdling roar behind them and they spun around to see a gigantic, terrifying monster stalking down the staircase towards them, with claws and fur and fangs and eyes that burned with unholy fire.

The brothers immediately burst into tears and clung to each other, wailing.

"We surrender!" the youngest cried.

"S-stay away, you-- you potato bastard!" the oldest yelled.

The beast stopped, looking a bit awkward. "How dare you trespass into my home," it eventually growled, loud and thundering.

"We're sorry!" Feliciano said, trembling. "We were chased by these wolves and the gate was open and we just wanted to get out of the snow and we're sorry! We're leaving right now!"

"Maybe one of them should stay as punishment," said an accented voice at the side of the room, before there was the sound of china whacking against metal, and silence.

The brothers started crying harder. The beast looked ready to tear something limb from limb, but there was a possibility that he always looked like that, and his voice was relatively calm as he roared, "Fine. You," he gestured at Lovino, the taller of the pair, with a large paw, "must stay. The other can leave."

"No way!" Lovino shouted.

"No! Take me instead!" Feliciano cried, rushing forward despite the beast's frightening appearance.

"No!" Lovino countered, staying by the door. "If you touch my brother I'll kill you, bastard!"

The beast covered his face with a paw. "Make up your minds," he rumbled.

"I'm staying," Feliciano said, his arms folded.

Lovino sighed. "You choose the worst times to stop being a coward, idiot."

The beast roared, so loud that the chandelier above shook and swayed, and both brothers quivered with fear as the beast suddenly leapt from the stairs and landed between them, facing the oldest brother. "Get out," he said, low and dangerous.

Lovino turned and wrenched open the door, calling, "I'll be back, potato bastard!" over his shoulder as he fled to the stables. The beast slammed the door behind him, and stalked around to look at the remaining brother. He stared at him for a moment, as Feliciano shook and whimpered, and then the beast drew back and bounded past him, clearing the stairs in a few short jumps.

"Show him to his room," the beast commanded, and was out of sight.

Feliciano was alone, and scared, and very confused, and it really did not help matters when suddenly there was a candlestick holder and a china teapot at his feet.

"Right this way, monsieur," the candleholder said, and started hopping towards to stairs.

"Don't worry," said the teapot, when Feliciano just stared wide eyed at them. "You'll get used to it."

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 18:52:24 UTC
Very interesting!
More soon, I hope?

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 22:38:00 UTC
/squeals

ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT!

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 22:39:21 UTC
This is great so far! I had to laugh at the Italians' characteristic cowardice and how you can see bits and pieces of Germany's awkwardness in there even with him beastified and angry. Oooh, how will Feli adjust to the castle? I have a feeling that the Beast is going to get a headache from having to deal with him before long...

So France is the candleabra? That's only natural, considering that Lumiere was pretty much French and more than eager to kiss Belle's hand. XD I'm not sure yet who the teapot is...

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 23:38:04 UTC
Oh, the teapot is England. *facepalm* I would have more expected him to be Cogsworth, but I guess a teapot works too.

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 15 2009, 23:25:40 UTC
Oh shit, I love this. Using Romano instead of Grandpa Rome for Italy's relative was a stroke of genius. And I'm hoping sosososo badly that Sealand is going to show up as England's teacup kid~

Did I mention I adore how fitting the talking household objects are? And that beast!Germany actually facepalmed at the Italy brothers' antics within seconds of meeting them? ♥

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OP HERE! anonymous November 16 2009, 05:03:49 UTC
YOU STARTED TO FILL IT! Kya~! I'm so deliriously happy! I'm seriosuly shaking from excitement. 8D; I guess it's because I don't make fills very often. (Has only made 3 requests on kink memes. 1 here and 2 on another. 2 out of the 3 have been filled). ILU ILU ILU ILU ILU ILU *explodes*

I love the characterization of Feli and Roma! Especially how they were able to still bicker on who should stay and who should leave when Ludwig was right there. x'DD

I -love- how you made Roma the relative! Nice choice! <333 Then again, I don't think Roma would've been able to actually kill Ludwig and stuff if he was Gaston. e.e; It'd have to be a bit OOC.

I also like how you chose the character for Francis and Arthur! Francis' character was totally obvious, but I actually like the idea of Arthur being Mrs. Pots. I AGREE WITH THE OTHER ANON THAT PETER AS CHIP WOULD BE EPIC WIN.

Alfred as Gaston will be interesting! Maybe his reason won't be like Gaston, but he'll be blinded by his want to be a hero or something? (I still love you Alfred even though you're a knuckleheaded hero at times. xD)

You've made my day anon, fer srs. ;3;

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Re: OP HERE! anonymous November 16 2009, 05:15:07 UTC
Derp derp, I mean I don't make REQUESTS often. Though I did try my hand at fills about 3 times... Though I'm only somewhat happy with the one I did in the APH kink meme. ^^;

Hopefully this'll put me in the mood to finish that second fill I was trying out! <3333 Practice makes you... Not perfect, but better! 8D;

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [3/?] anonymous November 17 2009, 17:52:41 UTC
xD

Okay, England = Mrs. Pots is just amazing. I would've thought he was the *magical fairy* that cursed the beast to begin with, but Mrs. Pots is sooooo much more lol.

And hurrah for wimpy Italian bros! Have to admit, a larder full of sausage and potatoes is pretty terrifying though... D:

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Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [4/?] anonymous November 27 2009, 00:37:50 UTC
Thank you so much for the comments, hee ♥ England is both Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth, in a way that will be totally explained, um, later.
---

"And this is your room," the candelabra said, with a flourish and a wave of a lit candle. "I'm sure you will find it most agreeable."

"I doubt it," Feliciano said, sniffing. He roughly wiped the back of his hand across his cheek, leaving a damp smudge that caught the soft light. "I've never been away from home without my brother before and now he's gone and I... I--"

He started crying again, jostling the teapot he held in the crook of his hand. "Hey, stop that," the teapot said, gently. "Go inside and put me down, this is embarrassing."

Feliciano sniffed again and pushed open the tall door, barely noticing how all the candles in the room flicked into life as he headed straight for the bed and sat down heavily, slumping backwards and letting the teapot bounce lightly out of his grasp.

"Oi!" the teapot protested, rolling briefly before righting himself and hopping away from the edge. The candleholder laughed as he jumped up beside him, and ignored the mutterings of, "Piss off, you damn fire hazard."

"Who are you?" Feliciano said, rolling over on to his side so he could stare at them both. "I've never met talking objects before."

"You may call me Francis," the candleholder said, and bent forward at the middle of the pole in something like a bow. "I live only to serve."

"Hmph," disagreed the teapot. "If he tries to touch you, pour a bucket of water over him. Or sand."

"And that's Arthur. Please, do not eat anything he offers you, because you are far too beautiful to die."

"What?" Feliciano said, drawing away from them. "Are you going to kill me?" His eyes started shining again, tears caught and trembling on his eyelashes.

"No!" the teapot insisted. "Not at all. I'm the cook, you've got nothing to worry about."

"He used to be the chef," Francis started, before hopping swiftly out of the way when Arthur turned to hit him with his spout. "Although it's a great mystery how he ever got the position."

"Ignore him," the teapot hissed. Feliciano blinked at them, then fell back onto the bed, staring up at the canopy.

"I want to go home."

Silence. And then, "It's not so bad here, I promise," Francis sighed. "Master is..."

"He gets better," Arthur said.

Feliciano just rolled over and sobbed. "We'll leave you to settle in," Francis said softly, then a moment later the door swung shut behind the pair, and Feliciano curled up and cried harder.

"Like, ew, what you are doing?"

"W-who's there?" Feliciano called, lifting his head a little to look around the room with watery eyes. He rubbed a hand across his face and blinked until his world stopped being so glassy and unsteady - the blurred glow became candles on the wall, and he stopped crying entirely when he saw how luxurious his room was; the thick patterned rug on the floor and the gilded detailing on the walls; the bed was huge and plush and covered in embroidered cushions and silk sheets; there was a solid oak dresser and a richly upholstered arm chair and the wardrobe-- and the wardrobe was talking to him.

"Oh my god, you're like, so cute. I've got this gorgeous dress you've totally have to wear, like, I swear, you'll totally die when you see how fabulous it is."

"I- I don't wear dresses." Feliciano stammered, terrified.

"Well you totally should, duh. Here," it said, swinging open a door and letting a long evening dress flutter out, "try this one. The red, like, so goes with your hair."

Feliciano stared at it. The dress was pretty. "Ludwig will love it," the wardrobe encouraged.

"Who's--" he started, but then there was a knock at the door and Francis called out,

"Dinner is served."

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Overjoyed OP here! anonymous November 28 2009, 08:44:34 UTC
*slaps hand over her hand* Oh god, I squealed when I saw this. Really really didn't help that I saw this while looking at beauty and the beast clips on Veoh. e.e;

...

Okay, no one saw me completely freak out irl. Whew...

I... I was so worried since this wasn't updated for over a week. T_T I'm so glad anon is alive! <3 I kinda understand that you have other requests you decided to commit to and there was Thanksgiving, so I'm really happy that this got updated.

The wardrobe is Feliks? The wardrobe is Feliks... That killed me. x'D It matches though! *giggle* And Feli, I would take Felik's advice. 8D Wear. The. Dress. <33333
I really love how you write out the characters. <3 What they say and do seem pretty in character and how you write this out; it's not boring or confusing IMO. Can't wait for another update! Ilu anon~ <33333

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [4/?] anonymous November 29 2009, 05:29:36 UTC
Wardrobe!Poland is a stroke of genius, writeranon. :)

Love the fill, please do continue! I can't wait to see how dinner goes over.

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Re: Nothing But The Beginning Of Terror [4/?] anonymous December 1 2009, 03:57:36 UTC
/bangs on desk laughing

This made my day author!anon! And I love every word.

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