100 Ways to Woo an Italian [1/?]
anonymous
October 5 2009, 04:57:06 UTC
Hi, hi. I doubt this what you were requesting, but I started writing this as a series of one-shots and it completely ran away from me. ^o^;
Also, it's not done yet. Might finish tomorrow, but I just transferred it all to text and figured I should post what's done so far. :)
Warnings for ooc-ness like woah.
That stupid bastard.
Romano groaned and rolled over in bed, pulling a pillow up over his ears. Light guitar music floated in from the yard below, interspersed with little clangs of pebbles thrown against his window.
"Lovino, Lovino, my little tomato~ Why won't you come outside~?"
Spain's crooning was getting to be unbearable. Not unpleasant (he really did have a nice voice), but his 'little cherry tomato' song was nearing an hour on loop, and Romano only ground his teeth harder every time.
"Cherry tomato, huffy red cheeks~ Lovino, I just want to talk~"
He growled and bit the mattress, trying to curl up under everything. Romano wasn't going back to sleep at this point; it had just become, in his mind, a power struggle to ignore Spain as long as possible.
"Sweet sweet tomato, please please please please~ Why won't you listen to me~?"
"Because I don't want you serenading me, asshole!"
Romano threw the pillows at his window, glowing brighter red than he had in years. That Spain, that stupid Spain! They hadn't so much as spoken in ages, and now he had the nerve to just appear and start making awful jokes like this? He'd shown up a week ago, right out of the blue, wielding flowers and stammering on about undying love. What a guy, the bastard! "Every day," he'd said. "For a hundred years, if it takes that long. I'll be right here. Consider yourself swooned, mi Amado!"
It was more flowers and chocolate the second day. What kind of girl did that bastard take him for? Tomatoes on the third day, which... well honestly, Lovino couldn't resist eating those. Antonio had dogs the fourth day. Why, in God's name, did he have dogs? A whole bunch of spaniels, out yapping on his lawn so loud Romano couldn't even hear what Spain was trying to tell him. He woke up a fifth time to see "I Love You" mowed across his freshly-cut lawn, then in soap streaks across the window of his newly-washed car. Poems in chalk all over his sidewalk, driveway, walls... thank God it had rained last night. And now this! He just wouldn't go away, would he? Romano rolled out of bed groaning, absolutely done with this music. He shrugged on pants and, hands still cupped over his ears, hobbled downstairs to give that guy a piece of his mind.
"Spain! Spain, you bastard, would you shut up? It's not even noon; some people are still trying to sleep!"
Antonio perked his attention to the front door, having still been crooning up at Romano's bedroom window.
"Oh, but my little tomato! It's only been one night, and I feel like I haven't seen you in ages~" he said, floating over to the welcome mat.
"Stop. Calling me that. You asshole," Romano huffed back, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a scowl. "Why won't you just go home?"
"Because I love you, Lovi!"
Loved him? Romano scoffed out loud. Where would he get an idea like that? This guy, who never acknowledged him his whole life? Bastard. Ignored him, misunderstood him. Not even to mention Ita-chan! Dammit. And now he had the nerve to start with more taunting?
"Where do you get off, huh? Don't even say that. I'm not in the mood, Spain asshole. So just go away, alright?"
"Please, Romano, you won't even give me a chance? I get it; I guess this is sudden for you, but mi dios, it's been eating at me for years! One chance?"
"Absolutely not!"
A chance? He'd had a million chances. He'd had centuries of chances! And now that Romano could stand on his own feet, here was that... that guy again, trying to dig up everything he'd only just buried? "I've moved on, okay? Dammit."
Also, it's not done yet. Might finish tomorrow, but I just transferred it all to text and figured I should post what's done so far. :)
Warnings for ooc-ness like woah.
That stupid bastard.
Romano groaned and rolled over in bed, pulling a pillow up over his ears. Light guitar music floated in from the yard below, interspersed with little clangs of pebbles thrown against his window.
"Lovino, Lovino, my little tomato~
Why won't you come outside~?"
Spain's crooning was getting to be unbearable. Not unpleasant (he really did have a nice voice), but his 'little cherry tomato' song was nearing an hour on loop, and Romano only ground his teeth harder every time.
"Cherry tomato, huffy red cheeks~
Lovino, I just want to talk~"
He growled and bit the mattress, trying to curl up under everything. Romano wasn't going back to sleep at this point; it had just become, in his mind, a power struggle to ignore Spain as long as possible.
"Sweet sweet tomato, please please please please~
Why won't you listen to me~?"
"Because I don't want you serenading me, asshole!"
Romano threw the pillows at his window, glowing brighter red than he had in years. That Spain, that stupid Spain! They hadn't so much as spoken in ages, and now he had the nerve to just appear and start making awful jokes like this? He'd shown up a week ago, right out of the blue, wielding flowers and stammering on about undying love. What a guy, the bastard! "Every day," he'd said. "For a hundred years, if it takes that long. I'll be right here. Consider yourself swooned, mi Amado!"
It was more flowers and chocolate the second day. What kind of girl did that bastard take him for? Tomatoes on the third day, which... well honestly, Lovino couldn't resist eating those. Antonio had dogs the fourth day. Why, in God's name, did he have dogs? A whole bunch of spaniels, out yapping on his lawn so loud Romano couldn't even hear what Spain was trying to tell him. He woke up a fifth time to see "I Love You" mowed across his freshly-cut lawn, then in soap streaks across the window of his newly-washed car. Poems in chalk all over his sidewalk, driveway, walls... thank God it had rained last night. And now this! He just wouldn't go away, would he? Romano rolled out of bed groaning, absolutely done with this music. He shrugged on pants and, hands still cupped over his ears, hobbled downstairs to give that guy a piece of his mind.
"Spain! Spain, you bastard, would you shut up? It's not even noon; some people are still trying to sleep!"
Antonio perked his attention to the front door, having still been crooning up at Romano's bedroom window.
"Oh, but my little tomato! It's only been one night, and I feel like I haven't seen you in ages~" he said, floating over to the welcome mat.
"Stop. Calling me that. You asshole," Romano huffed back, rubbing the bridge of his nose with a scowl. "Why won't you just go home?"
"Because I love you, Lovi!"
Loved him? Romano scoffed out loud. Where would he get an idea like that? This guy, who never acknowledged him his whole life? Bastard. Ignored him, misunderstood him. Not even to mention Ita-chan! Dammit. And now he had the nerve to start with more taunting?
"Where do you get off, huh? Don't even say that. I'm not in the mood, Spain asshole. So just go away, alright?"
"Please, Romano, you won't even give me a chance? I get it; I guess this is sudden for you, but mi dios, it's been eating at me for years! One chance?"
"Absolutely not!"
A chance? He'd had a million chances. He'd had centuries of chances! And now that Romano could stand on his own feet, here was that... that guy again, trying to dig up everything he'd only just buried? "I've moved on, okay? Dammit."
Reply
Why won't you listen to me~?"
"Because I don't want you serenading me, asshole!"
Greatest lines ever. Not even joking. That was amazing.
Reply
"Sweet sweet tomato, please please please please~
Why won't you listen to me~?"
"Because I don't want you serenading me, asshole!"
Greatest lines ever. Not even joking. That was amazing.
Reply
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