Here comes the candle [1/?]
anonymous
October 1 2009, 15:54:54 UTC
The 51st state
“Oranges and Lemons say the bells of St Clemens You owe me five farthings say the bells of St Martins.”
Sunlight was a strange thing. The pale grey light washed over the now empty room, which had once been Arthur’s living room, darkening the shadows on the walls, breathing pathetic warmth that chilled him to the bone.
His back curled against the wall, head tilting against the double-glazed windows so that his forehead felt the frosty glass burning into his skin. His reflection breathed out wisps of ghosts, obscuring him from view until he wiped the window panes with a finger. Always a lethargic sense of unease prompted him to rub away the fogging windows until he could see himself again.
He had not disappeared yet, had he? If he did not check often perhaps his face would melt off like cake-icing in the summer sun, like the painted smiles on clowns melting into frowns.
He pushed his leg up onto the window seat and tapped his fingers against his kneecap, humming ‘Oranges and Lemons’ to pave over the voices on the radio and the white noise that fills the gaping room with an intermittent buzz.
“When will you pay me? say the bells of Old Bailey When I am rich say the bells of Shoreditch.”
“Unlike fellow nations, unable to recover from the economic downturn, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has announced not a union, but a merger with the United States of America,” the radio droned with news that Arthur has known for a long time. There was nothing more depressing than old news.
He turned the dial, tuning in to another station and heard the same thing; the same story told with a different spin.
“A shock that has come to everyone but to help their long-term allies in this crisis the United States has offered to pay Britain’s national debt in return for - ”
“The US government has announced that Britain will become the 51st state of America!”
Arthur smiled condescendingly at the radio. Little did the poor creature of metal and wire know that the words it was spewing from its dusty speaker would be a bombshell dropped on the heads of the unsuspecting public.
If the radio had a mouth it would have smiled back. Because they were the same. Both Arthur and the radio were just stupid things that have no choice but to do as they are told.
He turned the station; more news.
“Surprisingly, ex-Brits have been told that they will be issued a British-American passport. The National healthcare, transport and education system will also remain untouched but the Pound, the government and, of course, the monarchy will all have to go.”
His poor Queen. What would she do when they repossess her Corgis? They were the only living things in the world to still love her since her children had failed in that department. Would they chase the ravens from the castle and watch it crumble? At least he was not like Francis. At least he was not taking their heads as well.
Arthur turned to the music stations but it was no good; they had switched to the news as well. He should have just turned off the radio, better yet, smashed it, but he was too masochistic for that. The 1970s have given him a taste for pain.
“There it is. This new flag will go up tomorrow at midnight. You can see the stars and stripes as usual and, in the middle of the blue, the crowning star, the 51st state of America. Although whether this six-point star will be one of glory or shame remains to be seen, nevertheless we must welcome the 51st state of - ”
Why was it everywhere?
“The 51st state of America!”
“ - Will become the 51st state of America. God bless America!”
“Announced.....the new 51st state of America.”
The street vendors were already selling the flags. Or anti-flags. Depending on which side of the fence you fell.
“I think it’s a disgrace!” A man with a thick Northern accent was lecturing the mic. “We’re not America, we’re British!”
Ah, Arthur thought, a royalist, wasn’t that what they were calling them now? Though all he had to do was turn the station to a Liberal and he knew he would hear the exact opposite.
Re: Here comes the candle [1/?]
anonymous
October 6 2009, 09:13:09 UTC
Oh dear Lord...
Best/worst part of this? Is that I can almost see it happening. The irony of 'Royalist' got me, and the rhyme was perfect, but that was what made it for me.
“Oranges and Lemons say the bells of St Clemens
You owe me five farthings say the bells of St Martins.”
Sunlight was a strange thing. The pale grey light washed over the now empty room, which had once been Arthur’s living room, darkening the shadows on the walls, breathing pathetic warmth that chilled him to the bone.
His back curled against the wall, head tilting against the double-glazed windows so that his forehead felt the frosty glass burning into his skin. His reflection breathed out wisps of ghosts, obscuring him from view until he wiped the window panes with a finger. Always a lethargic sense of unease prompted him to rub away the fogging windows until he could see himself again.
He had not disappeared yet, had he? If he did not check often perhaps his face would melt off like cake-icing in the summer sun, like the painted smiles on clowns melting into frowns.
He pushed his leg up onto the window seat and tapped his fingers against his kneecap, humming ‘Oranges and Lemons’ to pave over the voices on the radio and the white noise that fills the gaping room with an intermittent buzz.
“When will you pay me? say the bells of Old Bailey
When I am rich say the bells of Shoreditch.”
“Unlike fellow nations, unable to recover from the economic downturn, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has announced not a union, but a merger with the United States of America,” the radio droned with news that Arthur has known for a long time. There was nothing more depressing than old news.
He turned the dial, tuning in to another station and heard the same thing; the same story told with a different spin.
“A shock that has come to everyone but to help their long-term allies in this crisis the United States has offered to pay Britain’s national debt in return for - ”
“The US government has announced that Britain will become the 51st state of America!”
Arthur smiled condescendingly at the radio. Little did the poor creature of metal and wire know that the words it was spewing from its dusty speaker would be a bombshell dropped on the heads of the unsuspecting public.
If the radio had a mouth it would have smiled back. Because they were the same. Both Arthur and the radio were just stupid things that have no choice but to do as they are told.
He turned the station; more news.
“Surprisingly, ex-Brits have been told that they will be issued a British-American passport. The National healthcare, transport and education system will also remain untouched but the Pound, the government and, of course, the monarchy will all have to go.”
His poor Queen. What would she do when they repossess her Corgis? They were the only living things in the world to still love her since her children had failed in that department. Would they chase the ravens from the castle and watch it crumble? At least he was not like Francis. At least he was not taking their heads as well.
Arthur turned to the music stations but it was no good; they had switched to the news as well. He should have just turned off the radio, better yet, smashed it, but he was too masochistic for that. The 1970s have given him a taste for pain.
“There it is. This new flag will go up tomorrow at midnight. You can see the stars and stripes as usual and, in the middle of the blue, the crowning star, the 51st state of America. Although whether this six-point star will be one of glory or shame remains to be seen, nevertheless we must welcome the 51st state of - ”
Why was it everywhere?
“The 51st state of America!”
“ - Will become the 51st state of America. God bless America!”
“Announced.....the new 51st state of America.”
The street vendors were already selling the flags. Or anti-flags. Depending on which side of the fence you fell.
“I think it’s a disgrace!” A man with a thick Northern accent was lecturing the mic. “We’re not America, we’re British!”
Ah, Arthur thought, a royalist, wasn’t that what they were calling them now? Though all he had to do was turn the station to a Liberal and he knew he would hear the exact opposite.
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Best/worst part of this? Is that I can almost see it happening. The irony of 'Royalist' got me, and the rhyme was perfect, but that was what made it for me.
Brilliant job, anon; can't wait to see more.
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