Just A Little Tender Lovin' Care, Part 5
anonymous
September 11 2009, 08:02:21 UTC
He crunched into another slice of bacon, grabbed himself a piece of toast, and settled in to watch. In the end, England ate all three poached eggs, four slices of toast, and four slices of bacon, and had three cups of tea, and America ate and drank everything else on the table.
As soon as he finished, England moved to stand, reaching for his plate and teacup, but America stood more quickly, his chair screeching back. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “What’re you doing now?”
England slid an incredulous look over at him. “I’m clearing the table,” he said. “What does it look like?”
“Um,” America said, and took several quick steps around the table to press England back down into his chair, both hands on his shoulders. “No, you’re not.”
England looked up at him, and America could practically see him thinking have you lost your bloody mind, America, even hear it, almost, in that clipped, deep, rounded British voice, husky and a little rough with weariness. He noticed that England’s shoulder muscles were tight, jumping with tension under his hands, and frowned at that. “And why the bloody hell not?” England demanded out loud, scowling. There was that voice he’d imagined earlier.
“Because I’m gonna do it,” America said, like it was obvious. Which it kinda was, to tell the truth.
England turned dark red again, his cheeks flushing up, and damn, if he didn’t look . . . well, cute like that. “Sod it, America, you already made supper; the least I can do is tidy up after,” he said stiffly.
America shook his head. “Nope,” he said. “That’s not how this works.” He pointed toward himself with his thumb, with emphasis-“I-am gonna take care’a you.” He jabbed his finger toward England. “So I’m gonna do the dishes. ‘Cause I’m a hero like that. You go on into the living room and relax, okay? Just relax.”
England stared at him. His lips trembled slightly, and he firmed them into a scowl. “D-don’t be bloody ridiculous,” he said finally.
America scowled right back. “’m not,” he said. “I’m being awesome. You’re being ridiculous.” What was with England, anyway? Couldn’t he just relax and be pampered like a normal person? But America guessed not. If England were a normal person he wouldn’t be England, after all. And America would miss that. A lot. So . . . yeah.
And America couldn’t really blame England for it, anyway. He obviously wasn’t used to it-well, yeah, because he hadn’t experienced the full force of America’s awesome heroic TLC yet! So it was America’s responsibility, practically, to take care of him like this. Make sure he relaxed and stuff.
“I certainly am not!” England said, bristling all over.
America sighed. “Okay,” he said. “Look. I want to do the dishes, okay?”
“You do,” England said, his voice incredulous.
“Yeah,” America returned. “I sure as hell do.”
“You never do the dishes,” England pointed out testily. “You hate it.”
“Turning over a new leaf,” America said cheerfully, rolling up his sleeves. “Trying new things. I’m the nation of freedom and progress, after all!”
England sighed and shook his head. “Fine,” he said. “Very well. Do the dishes if you bloody like.” He made a scoffing noise and stalked off in the direction of the living room.
He hadn’t sounded actually pissed off, though, so America just grinned and got to work.
Re: Just A Little Tender Lovin' Care, Part 5
anonymous
September 11 2009, 08:16:30 UTC
D'awww. Oh America, how well you trick England into letting you do the dishes. Truly you are the nation of Tom Sawyer. *snerk* And I love how America's words, the way you write them, make me think of him talking with this thick Southern accent. Who's better at pampering and spilling over with hospitality than a Southern gen'lman, after all?
OP is totally loving this. It's just what I had in mind. I love how you managed to keep America in character even though he's acting out of his usually prescribed role. England is well done, too, of course. I really appreciate you taking this request, anon, and look forward to reading the rest :)
Re: Just A Little Tender Lovin' Care, Part 5
anonymous
September 11 2009, 17:29:17 UTC
Looks like England's not sure what to think of America suddenly doing everything for him (I wouldn't be too surprised if he's thinking that there's got to be a catch for all of this). America will just have to keep on pampering him until he finally loosens up. :)
I like how you're keeping America and England very much in-character in spite of the whole "America being nice to England for once" thing (but really, America is perfectly capable of being nice; he's just, ah, a lot more tsun towards England than anyone else). The banter between the two of them is great to read.
Re: Just A Little Tender Lovin' Care, Part 5
anonymous
September 11 2009, 19:03:52 UTC
Awwww, I'm deeply in love with this fill! It's truly adorable, anon, and America is so endearing and in character, and so is England and I love you.Please, update soon! <3
(do you have non-anon stuff in the comms, or other fills here? Because, I don't know, I feel like I know you, or something.)
Re: Just A Little Tender Lovin' Care, Part 5
anonymous
September 19 2009, 06:04:23 UTC
Ahaha, it figures. First time I comment on your work (which I fangirl a lot) is when I'm anonymous. Wait, that sounded stalker-ish. I promise I'm not a creep! Just an innocent Canadianon!
That aside, I simply love your writing style for this. The fact it's America's point of view and reads like America's point of view is fantastic! Even the run-ons that sometimes pop up (which normally really bug me) seemed really appropriate when they appeared. All the dialogue is really good, too, and I'm really picky about dialogue.
And, of course, you write both of these guys completely in character and everything sort of works. Essentially, you have these two down pat.
Re: Just A Little Tender Lovin' Care, Part 5
anonymous
October 23 2009, 05:47:10 UTC
Uwaaah ANon PLEASE! Reader is desperately needing an update to this amazing story. I check back all the time in hopes... please hope you have not abandoned this!!
As soon as he finished, England moved to stand, reaching for his plate and teacup, but America stood more quickly, his chair screeching back. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “What’re you doing now?”
England slid an incredulous look over at him. “I’m clearing the table,” he said. “What does it look like?”
“Um,” America said, and took several quick steps around the table to press England back down into his chair, both hands on his shoulders. “No, you’re not.”
England looked up at him, and America could practically see him thinking have you lost your bloody mind, America, even hear it, almost, in that clipped, deep, rounded British voice, husky and a little rough with weariness. He noticed that England’s shoulder muscles were tight, jumping with tension under his hands, and frowned at that. “And why the bloody hell not?” England demanded out loud, scowling. There was that voice he’d imagined earlier.
“Because I’m gonna do it,” America said, like it was obvious. Which it kinda was, to tell the truth.
England turned dark red again, his cheeks flushing up, and damn, if he didn’t look . . . well, cute like that. “Sod it, America, you already made supper; the least I can do is tidy up after,” he said stiffly.
America shook his head. “Nope,” he said. “That’s not how this works.” He pointed toward himself with his thumb, with emphasis-“I-am gonna take care’a you.” He jabbed his finger toward England. “So I’m gonna do the dishes. ‘Cause I’m a hero like that. You go on into the living room and relax, okay? Just relax.”
England stared at him. His lips trembled slightly, and he firmed them into a scowl. “D-don’t be bloody ridiculous,” he said finally.
America scowled right back. “’m not,” he said. “I’m being awesome. You’re being ridiculous.” What was with England, anyway? Couldn’t he just relax and be pampered like a normal person? But America guessed not. If England were a normal person he wouldn’t be England, after all. And America would miss that. A lot. So . . . yeah.
And America couldn’t really blame England for it, anyway. He obviously wasn’t used to it-well, yeah, because he hadn’t experienced the full force of America’s awesome heroic TLC yet! So it was America’s responsibility, practically, to take care of him like this. Make sure he relaxed and stuff.
“I certainly am not!” England said, bristling all over.
America sighed. “Okay,” he said. “Look. I want to do the dishes, okay?”
“You do,” England said, his voice incredulous.
“Yeah,” America returned. “I sure as hell do.”
“You never do the dishes,” England pointed out testily. “You hate it.”
“Turning over a new leaf,” America said cheerfully, rolling up his sleeves. “Trying new things. I’m the nation of freedom and progress, after all!”
England sighed and shook his head. “Fine,” he said. “Very well. Do the dishes if you bloody like.” He made a scoffing noise and stalked off in the direction of the living room.
He hadn’t sounded actually pissed off, though, so America just grinned and got to work.
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I like how you're keeping America and England very much in-character in spite of the whole "America being nice to England for once" thing (but really, America is perfectly capable of being nice; he's just, ah, a lot more tsun towards England than anyone else). The banter between the two of them is great to read.
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(do you have non-anon stuff in the comms, or other fills here? Because, I don't know, I feel like I know you, or something.)
Reply
That aside, I simply love your writing style for this. The fact it's America's point of view and reads like America's point of view is fantastic! Even the run-ons that sometimes pop up (which normally really bug me) seemed really appropriate when they appeared. All the dialogue is really good, too, and I'm really picky about dialogue.
And, of course, you write both of these guys completely in character and everything sort of works. Essentially, you have these two down pat.
Keep up the awesome work~
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