Re: Brother and Sister: the American Dream (2/2)
anonymous
August 6 2009, 00:39:43 UTC
“Uh, technically it was the other way around, and I-“
“I never wanted to see you get hurt!” Canada wailed, cutting off his sister and grabbing her hands, “You can do better than him! Hell, you can do better than all of them!”
“Uh, Mattie…”
“All those fucking bastards just want to get into your pants!” Canada continued shouting, by now completely wrapped up in his rage, “They’re all perverts, eh?! Remember Prussia in the changing room? Mon Dieu, remember France at Christmas, eh?! Sex crazed bastards, all of them! And the one person I thought I could trust to keep you safe ends up just as much of a bastard as the rest! He just wanted you for your body and then off he goes! I should have known, eh? He holds masturbation marathons in his capital… ”
“Matt, you’re making a scene…”
“Damn right, I’m making a scene, eh?!” Canada yelled, panicky for his sister, “I can’t stand to see you all broken up! This is why you shouldn’t date!”
“I'm not broken up, and I’m not dating anymore!” America shrieked, pulling her left hand away from Canada’s grasp to shove it into his face. There was a diamond ring adorning the third finger.
“E-eh?”
“He fucking proposed!” America huffed, “Well, I proposed. We have a ‘Full Partnership’ now!”
“O-Oh…” Canada sputtered, his eyes wide, “Um…But your ‘Special Relationship’?”
America rolled her eyes and crossed her arms causing her breasts to bounce a little. It was a little distracting.
“It’s ‘Full Partnership’ now,” America explained, “Iggy and I figured we should get hitched, especially since there’s a baby on the way.”
Canada's mind broke, “B-Baby?”
“Yep!” America grinned happily, rubbing her still flat tummy, “It’s going to be so awesome~!”
“B-But,” Canada squeaked, his head spinning, “What happened to you wearing that chastity belt I gave you, eh?”
America scoffed, “What is this, the 1800s? Get with the times, little brother! Sex is good! Anyway, I’m glad Iggy proposed. He even said he didn’t care if the baby was his or not.”
“W-What?”
America blushed, “Yeah, well you remember that time France spiked all the drinks at Christmas and there was that huge orgy…”
“Wait, what?” Canada gulped, already seeing here this was going, “Oh nononononononono…..”
“So, who knows who the father is?” America laughed easily, oblivious to her brother’s horror, “It was pretty awesome that night, so I’m not worried. I mean, the things Russia can do with his tongue! And France! Dear God...”
Canada felt his priorities shift suddenly. Who cared about the economy when there were Nations to kill?
“And you were sooooooo out of it that night,” America continued on happily, “But then again, even if you are my bro, everyone wants to cross America's borders at least once! How awesome would it be if the baby was yours?”
Canada bolted straight up, his throat sore from screaming. After heaving in a few huge breaths, he took in his surroundings.
His bedroom.
“Thank God…” Canada muttered, running a hand through his hair, “It was just a dream…”
Canada chuckled. Of course it was just a dream! Really, America and England…Like that would ever happen. And America pregnant? Preposterous.
“Ahahaha…” Canada giggled, a tad giddy, “It was just a dream, eh! America is perfectly fine…She’s still a virgin. She still wears her chastity belt. I hope...”
Then he reached for his phone and dialed America’s number…
OP refuses your apologies, because you are awesome
anonymous
August 6 2009, 04:04:02 UTC
No apologies wriernon! This was fantastic! Every protective brother's nightmare literally~
So much made me laugh and just, generally made my night~ I don't know what was funnier: the pregnancy, Canada's denial of Fem!America's not-innocence, the talk of chastity belts, America mentioning she even slept with him and the list goes on but...I'm just too awed by the awesome to respond properly X3
I loved this so very much!~ I'm afraid all I have to offer in return is this basket of internets, which pales in comparison.
“I never wanted to see you get hurt!” Canada wailed, cutting off his sister and grabbing her hands, “You can do better than him! Hell, you can do better than all of them!”
“Uh, Mattie…”
“All those fucking bastards just want to get into your pants!” Canada continued shouting, by now completely wrapped up in his rage, “They’re all perverts, eh?! Remember Prussia in the changing room? Mon Dieu, remember France at Christmas, eh?! Sex crazed bastards, all of them! And the one person I thought I could trust to keep you safe ends up just as much of a bastard as the rest! He just wanted you for your body and then off he goes! I should have known, eh? He holds masturbation marathons in his capital… ”
“Matt, you’re making a scene…”
“Damn right, I’m making a scene, eh?!” Canada yelled, panicky for his sister, “I can’t stand to see you all broken up! This is why you shouldn’t date!”
“I'm not broken up, and I’m not dating anymore!” America shrieked, pulling her left hand away from Canada’s grasp to shove it into his face. There was a diamond ring adorning the third finger.
“E-eh?”
“He fucking proposed!” America huffed, “Well, I proposed. We have a ‘Full Partnership’ now!”
“O-Oh…” Canada sputtered, his eyes wide, “Um…But your ‘Special Relationship’?”
America rolled her eyes and crossed her arms causing her breasts to bounce a little. It was a little distracting.
“It’s ‘Full Partnership’ now,” America explained, “Iggy and I figured we should get hitched, especially since there’s a baby on the way.”
Canada's mind broke, “B-Baby?”
“Yep!” America grinned happily, rubbing her still flat tummy, “It’s going to be so awesome~!”
“B-But,” Canada squeaked, his head spinning, “What happened to you wearing that chastity belt I gave you, eh?”
America scoffed, “What is this, the 1800s? Get with the times, little brother! Sex is good! Anyway, I’m glad Iggy proposed. He even said he didn’t care if the baby was his or not.”
“W-What?”
America blushed, “Yeah, well you remember that time France spiked all the drinks at Christmas and there was that huge orgy…”
“Wait, what?” Canada gulped, already seeing here this was going, “Oh nononononononono…..”
“So, who knows who the father is?” America laughed easily, oblivious to her brother’s horror, “It was pretty awesome that night, so I’m not worried. I mean, the things Russia can do with his tongue! And France! Dear God...”
Canada felt his priorities shift suddenly. Who cared about the economy when there were Nations to kill?
“And you were sooooooo out of it that night,” America continued on happily, “But then again, even if you are my bro, everyone wants to cross America's borders at least once! How awesome would it be if the baby was yours?”
Canada knew he just entered hell.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo…
~
“…ooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Canada bolted straight up, his throat sore from screaming. After heaving in a few huge breaths, he took in his surroundings.
His bedroom.
“Thank God…” Canada muttered, running a hand through his hair, “It was just a dream…”
Canada chuckled. Of course it was just a dream! Really, America and England…Like that would ever happen. And America pregnant? Preposterous.
“Ahahaha…” Canada giggled, a tad giddy, “It was just a dream, eh! America is perfectly fine…She’s still a virgin. She still wears her chastity belt. I hope...”
Then he reached for his phone and dialed America’s number…
…You know, just to be sure.
Reply
*whimpers* If you shoot me, please make it quick.
Reply
i loved it.
My favorite part was america mentioning russia's tongue.
ROFL
Reply
So much made me laugh and just, generally made my night~ I don't know what was funnier: the pregnancy, Canada's denial of Fem!America's not-innocence, the talk of chastity belts, America mentioning she even slept with him and the list goes on but...I'm just too awed by the awesome to respond properly X3
I loved this so very much!~ I'm afraid all I have to offer in return is this basket of internets, which pales in comparison.
Reply
Poor Canada, in denial of his beloved sister's less-than-innocent ways
cAPTCHA: goals sinister, what are you saying Captcha? One of the nations purposely got America-chan pregant?
Reply
Leave a comment