journal;
Anakin,
I told Cal Omas I wasn't ashamed of Grandfather.
Was I lying? Was I trying to reassure myself? I can see your face now, hard and determined to argue with me. You tried so hard to shake off the implications of his name, didn't you? Any association with him would horrify you.
No, you'd understand, wouldn't you? You were as pragmatic as they came; you were never afraid just to get the job done. And there are positive things to learn from Vader's example. He was a strong and good leader -- just like you.
Sometimes I think this path should have been yours. That it would be, if you were still here. You'd be in my place, the one destined to restore order to the galaxy, and I'd be -- where? I can't imagine being just a normal Jedi now, teaching children at the Academy, going on the same missions again and again. It's not ego -- I just can't see myself anywhere but here.
Maybe it was right--
They gave me a commission, little brother. I'm Colonel Jacen Solo. Jaina's going to love that, being the same rank. I don't like being at odds with her like this, but maybe it's the very fact that we used to be so close that makes it so hard, now. A lot of things changed when you died; a lot of things got hard, I think.
This is necessary, though. I've been given a new task force: the Galactic Alliance Guard. We'll be taking care of domestic threats, here on Coruscant. Mostly Corellian.
I know, it's hard to admit, isn't it? But Corellians are all like Dad, and can you imagine a billion Han Solos all following the rules of the Alliance, keeping within the law? Exactly.
I'm not sure if even you would understand all of this, but -- we're going to be interning them. I'm going to be interning them. Corellians, just like Dad. They're a threat, planting bombs and poisoning the water supply, and I won't shirk my duty, no matter what it brings me. No gratitude, that's for sure. But it's necessary.
... I don't know. Sometimes I'm uncertain -- I wonder if I can be as strong in my convictions as you were, which answers itself -- but that's good, isn't it? I'm questioning myself, making certain I'm not doing this for myself; I'm doing this for the galaxy.
I'm doing this for Allana.
You'd understand, Anakin. I know you would.