"I don't wanna be...
...anything other than what I've been trying to be lately...."
Yeah, I really don't know why I put that there. But that's okay. Lol. It's a song! rawr! A rather good one at that. But, I'm not listening to that anymore so it's all good. I feel like a dork listening to this song, but that's okay.
Anyways, not much around these parts. Rather boring, actually. Been up to the same ol thing really. Work, home, sleep. I did get to go out and have fun this past sunday... but it came with consequences. Because I called into work on Monday.. and didn't even go in Tuesday so I got wrote up. But oh well I guess. I had fun so I guess that's all that matters, huh? I just can't get into any more trouble at work or I'll be "terminated." But yeah, I hung out with a friend of mine, Matthew, Sunday-Tuesday. Got completely wasted Sunday night which rocked. But it would've been awesome still if I hadn't of gotten drunk. I haven't hung out with him in forever.. so it was cool. He even went shoppng with me on Monday. I got a $100 gift certificate for Great Lakes Crossing Mall. So him and I spent like 4 hours at the mall. I walked out with 3 things. Lol. Only bad thing that came out of hanging out with him was that I got 3 days off work because I got wrote up, and Josh and I got in a big ol fight. But we're over that, thank god.
Speaking of Josh... teehee. I made him take a picture of me with his cam. Just for the hell of it. He thinks it was because I wanted proof that he had a cam. But it wasn't. It was just to pass the time.. and I felt like being an ass. Lol. But... it's cool. Ha.
Look at it. Ain't it soooo cute?! Hahaha. Gawd, I love that kid soooo much. It's unbelievable. Seriously.
Him and I were just talking about the future. Lol. Sounds wierd, but we kinda were. He said something about after his 2 years of college there... that maybe he would come up here to go to college somewhere. That would be awesome. But I'm not going to get my hopes up. Because that's two years from now.. yanno? I don't wanna get all excited, start counting down the days or something wierd like that. Lol. And then shit getting all fucked up. Which is usually what happens to me most of the time because I'm dumb like that. I don't know, we'll see. That's okay though. I think I can wait. If it's meant to happen, meant to be, then it will. That's how it all works. Just gotta leave it to fate and all that junk. Lol. I don't know. Just thinking about all that, makes my heart skip a beat. I get butterflies in my stomach. And for that split second, everything feels right. I don't know how to explain it really. That's the only way I can even begin. Maybe you'll understand, maybe you wont. But that's just me. End of story.
Joshua -
I love you with all my heart. Even though I may not say it all the time... and even though sometimes you may doubt that. I do. No matter how much you may think that I'm lying or that I don't give a fuck about you... I do. You mean a lot to me. You mean more to me than a lot of other people do. I just don't show it well, I guess. I can't tell you what will happen between us, or what I want with us, or even what we are or anything because I don't know. It's just something that we'll have to figure out as the time goes by. Let's just hope that both of us can be patient with it all... teehee. I lurve you, ya old man! <3