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[hero_of_dark]

...It's funny how I could always face such high-stake showdowns easily, no matter what my purpose for doing so was. Kagemaru and his Seven Stars, the Light, Yubel...

...And yet I can't even figure out something simple like this.

But... I still have everything to lose.

Comments

[hero_of_dark]

I... yeah, I guess I could...

[Screened to Fubuki // unhackable]

It's... another Johan arrived recently. The one from my world, a little in my future... and I don't know if we can do the same thing we did last time. It just... doesn't seem fair to either of them. I didn't even know what I was suggesting or doing the first time because I had no idea how things were supposed to work then.

But there's no way I can choose between them, either, because that's just as if not more unfair to one or both of them. They're both kind of resigning themselves to being cast aside for the other, I know they are, no matter what they tell me otherwise, and it just... hurts so much to watch.

I don't even know if I could give them a normal relationship, anyway, what with all the crap I have to deal with so often, and what I'll have to shoulder when I go home. I can't grant them happiness in that way until I find it in me to settle down, I suspect, and who knows how long that will take.

So I just don't know what I can do about this... no matter what, all the choices seem like I'll inevitably lose something somehow. And with this... I have everything to lose this time, more than when I did with any of the three forces I mentioned before, even if the entire world, the universe may have been at stake with them. It's because they're... they're my universe, so I can't afford to mess this up... not again.

[blizzardprince]

Okay, that's a lot to deal with at one go. Let me get this straight. You love them, and they love you, but you're stressing out because you can't have a normal relationship with them. Are you sure they want a normal relationship?

[hero_of_dark]

...Well... I... it would only be fair to them to give them something they didn't have to worry about. I shouldn't force them to follow along with me everywhere I go, and who knows where I'd end up next, right?

[blizzardprince]

You don't want to force them? So what do you think you're doing when they want to get near them and you push them away? That's forcing, too. Let them choose what they want instead of trying to decide for them what the best way for them to live.

[hero_of_dark]

...I still don't know if the newer Johan would want to try what we were doing before, though, considering he doesn't remember being here previously. I got the impression that he wouldn't have wanted to even if it were only me to worry about. Maybe it was because he said Darkness was fiddling around in his mind or something, but... I'm just really not sure he thinks he's up for it.

[blizzardprince]

So you're not sure, and you're going to base your choice on that? Me, I'd want to be sure.

[hero_of_dark]

............

Mn... good point...

I shouldn't ask him now, and I know it's a sore subject that won't be taken well if I bring it up again, but... I guess it has to be asked if I want to get anywhere close to solving this with a halfway relieving result.

[blizzardprince]

Exactly. Just don't try to figure it all out on your own. Love doesn't work that way.

Good luck, Judai. You deserve it. Let me know how it all turns out, okay?

[hero_of_dark]

...That's... a really good point.

Thanks. I'll see how it goes and then update you when I can.