Ouch
Yeah, I guess I will come clean. Last weekend's post was basically me worried about the relationship coming to an end and I was therefore depressed the entire break because of it. Maybe it was for the best because if the next break comes and I was depressed for a month and a 1/2 I would probabley kill myself...not serious. Anyways I will go into the details about this now because I have been explaining it so much I want to see it written down.
Basically I was overly excited for sunday night come because I was going to the airport to pick up my favorite girl. I drove in and parked prolly waited 10 minutes before she came down the escalator. I was so excited to see her and she looked more or less depressed...she didnt want to come back, completely understandable. She gave me a kiss and told me all about her break which consisted of hanging out with her close friends and running calls with her friend and ex boyfriend. Before heading back up to Oswego we went back to my house to have dinner with my family. We ate chinese. We left shortly after that and the entire time from when she got off the plane throughout she was texting friends and her ex bf who shed been riding the ambulance with all weekend. We got back to her dorm and she asked me to come in to watch Knocked up. I came up and it was quiet..not much talking(before the movie). We then began watching the movie and she didnt seem very interested in cuddling up and watching the movie...she was texting ppl throughout the entire movie. I didnt pay attention at first, I ignored it. I then began to glance over at her phone and it was her ex who was texting her the majority. He was asking her if she loved him and she wouldnt respond. She then tried to change the subject to focus on her other friend who her ex may or may not have been fooling around with...this is just what I got from reading a few texts and I might be wrong. So she then asked me what was bothering me and I told her straight out...how I felt over break and how I was feeling now. She then got upset and thought I was accusing her of having feelings for her ex(how did it look tho?)...and I really wasnt nervous until that text message cause they were initially friends and she told me that. She then said if I keep acting this way she was going to break up w/ me...it hurt but I figured I could keep calm and things would be ok. This was the point where her room mate came back and we stopped talking. We started to watch the movie again and she got a lot colder. The movie ended we watched some extras and I left...she followed me out. In the hall way she just stared at me...What do I do when I said all I could say and I got no response. I left. I then had a 30 min text argument where she claimed that she was upset with me for walking out and all she wanted to do was go home. She concluded it by saying she was tired and hopefully she would be ok tomorrow. I said sorry and good night and left it at that.
The next day I woke up and was in a terrible mood. All I could think about was the fight and how I shouldnt have left, I should have been there to just take care of her and be patient with her but that was over. I sent her a message to try and cheer her up...no response. I went throughout my day thinking Ill talk to her later and things will be ok. At 5 I sent her a message asking if shed be around to talk after my law class. She said yes and after dealing with that long ass lecture I walked to her dorm in the pouring rain might I add. This is when she basically said she couldnt be with me anymore...possibly having feelings for her ex as I suspected...
Thats as far as im going into the story with her. I will say that night I was suppose to study and I did nothing of the kind. I laid in my bed and just felt hopeless...I didnt feel like eatting, I didnt feel like watching TV and no way in hell was I to do hwk.
Yesterday I woke up and went to my first class...sex...yea...felt like shit. Next class I was suppose to have a test, got the date wrong its tomorrow and I left that class and went home. I went to lunch with Oz and Katie and it was fun. They did cheer me up a little and I felt fine until I got home. My mom told me to take this medication which is suppose to relax you... basically it made me sleep for an hour. I barely got any work done that night although I got some. Alicia and I did talk that night and she told me more reasons why she did it...I guess I just wasn't ready for that talk because I handled it the wrong way I feel. I will say it made me feel better I guess.
Which brings me to today. I woke up a lil better still and I finished my paper. It actually came out pretty well I was impressed. I had a coke with my mom and dad and talked to them about other stuff for a bit and we actually had a good time. At 1130 I had to leave so I went to grab my stuff and all of a sudden I began to dry heave(spelling) I ran to the bathroom and threw up twice. Interesting I have never gotten sick like that w/o actually feeling sick. w/e. I went through today dealing with my classes, I had a test in law today. I did better then the first exam but still most likely bombed it. I also got my 2 abstracts back and needless to say I am pleased with research abilities and my writing abilities at this point. First one was an 87, Second 74, Third 89.5. The third one I guess the majority of the class had to redo for plagerism...NOT ME SUCKAS. So as of right now I have 3/7 chapters studied for and am not sure if I am going to continue with it. I currently am not feeling happy and am still upset but at the same time I am not nearly as bad as I was. I know its getting better and I am slowly getting used to the idea of being single again.
I am going to reference the movie Last Kiss where one of the friends was obsessing about this girl he dated. He broke into the apartment and punched her new bf out and begged for her to take him back. I dont think I would ever get to that point for anyone but it makes me think that sometimes this feeling just doesnt go away. Didnt see that one? How about 40 year old virgin where he dated this girl for a month long ago and just continues to talk about her as if it was a long term relationship that just ended. He basically behaves like I am now...the only difference is it really has only been 2 days ha ha. Its just interesting.
OK ENOUGH ABOUT THAT...
SAVAC thursday and possibly friday. Pat leaves and comes back the 19th so we are gonna do something friday afternoon before he heads back to MD. Oz and I might do YOGA at Aspen if I get a membership, I might go in and talk to them friday. I think that might be good for me. My dad loves it and I stress so much so this might be the relief I need.
With a week and a half left in my semester this is what I need to get done...
1 exam tomorrow in chem
3 more papers for com212...1 due tomorrow and I am doing it tomorrow :-D
1 FOIL Assignment due Wed 12/5 for media law
1 final abstract due Web 12/5 for media law
1 15 min group presentation for COM360
1 12-14pg group paper due for COM360
Finals
Monday
2-4pm COM360
6-8pm BRC319
Tuesday
1030-1230pm CHE300
2-4pm COM212
Wednesday
RADIO LAB 12-3
Thursday
ANT369
That night I am going to Boston with my mom for the weekend. She is speaking on a radio show and doing another speech somewhere else. Never been to Boston so it should be fun.
Ill leave you all with that for now, Ill do another post once all of that is over...maybe ill be a tad more cheery
Basically I was overly excited for sunday night come because I was going to the airport to pick up my favorite girl. I drove in and parked prolly waited 10 minutes before she came down the escalator. I was so excited to see her and she looked more or less depressed...she didnt want to come back, completely understandable. She gave me a kiss and told me all about her break which consisted of hanging out with her close friends and running calls with her friend and ex boyfriend. Before heading back up to Oswego we went back to my house to have dinner with my family. We ate chinese. We left shortly after that and the entire time from when she got off the plane throughout she was texting friends and her ex bf who shed been riding the ambulance with all weekend. We got back to her dorm and she asked me to come in to watch Knocked up. I came up and it was quiet..not much talking(before the movie). We then began watching the movie and she didnt seem very interested in cuddling up and watching the movie...she was texting ppl throughout the entire movie. I didnt pay attention at first, I ignored it. I then began to glance over at her phone and it was her ex who was texting her the majority. He was asking her if she loved him and she wouldnt respond. She then tried to change the subject to focus on her other friend who her ex may or may not have been fooling around with...this is just what I got from reading a few texts and I might be wrong. So she then asked me what was bothering me and I told her straight out...how I felt over break and how I was feeling now. She then got upset and thought I was accusing her of having feelings for her ex(how did it look tho?)...and I really wasnt nervous until that text message cause they were initially friends and she told me that. She then said if I keep acting this way she was going to break up w/ me...it hurt but I figured I could keep calm and things would be ok. This was the point where her room mate came back and we stopped talking. We started to watch the movie again and she got a lot colder. The movie ended we watched some extras and I left...she followed me out. In the hall way she just stared at me...What do I do when I said all I could say and I got no response. I left. I then had a 30 min text argument where she claimed that she was upset with me for walking out and all she wanted to do was go home. She concluded it by saying she was tired and hopefully she would be ok tomorrow. I said sorry and good night and left it at that.
The next day I woke up and was in a terrible mood. All I could think about was the fight and how I shouldnt have left, I should have been there to just take care of her and be patient with her but that was over. I sent her a message to try and cheer her up...no response. I went throughout my day thinking Ill talk to her later and things will be ok. At 5 I sent her a message asking if shed be around to talk after my law class. She said yes and after dealing with that long ass lecture I walked to her dorm in the pouring rain might I add. This is when she basically said she couldnt be with me anymore...possibly having feelings for her ex as I suspected...
Thats as far as im going into the story with her. I will say that night I was suppose to study and I did nothing of the kind. I laid in my bed and just felt hopeless...I didnt feel like eatting, I didnt feel like watching TV and no way in hell was I to do hwk.
Yesterday I woke up and went to my first class...sex...yea...felt like shit. Next class I was suppose to have a test, got the date wrong its tomorrow and I left that class and went home. I went to lunch with Oz and Katie and it was fun. They did cheer me up a little and I felt fine until I got home. My mom told me to take this medication which is suppose to relax you... basically it made me sleep for an hour. I barely got any work done that night although I got some. Alicia and I did talk that night and she told me more reasons why she did it...I guess I just wasn't ready for that talk because I handled it the wrong way I feel. I will say it made me feel better I guess.
Which brings me to today. I woke up a lil better still and I finished my paper. It actually came out pretty well I was impressed. I had a coke with my mom and dad and talked to them about other stuff for a bit and we actually had a good time. At 1130 I had to leave so I went to grab my stuff and all of a sudden I began to dry heave(spelling) I ran to the bathroom and threw up twice. Interesting I have never gotten sick like that w/o actually feeling sick. w/e. I went through today dealing with my classes, I had a test in law today. I did better then the first exam but still most likely bombed it. I also got my 2 abstracts back and needless to say I am pleased with research abilities and my writing abilities at this point. First one was an 87, Second 74, Third 89.5. The third one I guess the majority of the class had to redo for plagerism...NOT ME SUCKAS. So as of right now I have 3/7 chapters studied for and am not sure if I am going to continue with it. I currently am not feeling happy and am still upset but at the same time I am not nearly as bad as I was. I know its getting better and I am slowly getting used to the idea of being single again.
I am going to reference the movie Last Kiss where one of the friends was obsessing about this girl he dated. He broke into the apartment and punched her new bf out and begged for her to take him back. I dont think I would ever get to that point for anyone but it makes me think that sometimes this feeling just doesnt go away. Didnt see that one? How about 40 year old virgin where he dated this girl for a month long ago and just continues to talk about her as if it was a long term relationship that just ended. He basically behaves like I am now...the only difference is it really has only been 2 days ha ha. Its just interesting.
OK ENOUGH ABOUT THAT...
SAVAC thursday and possibly friday. Pat leaves and comes back the 19th so we are gonna do something friday afternoon before he heads back to MD. Oz and I might do YOGA at Aspen if I get a membership, I might go in and talk to them friday. I think that might be good for me. My dad loves it and I stress so much so this might be the relief I need.
With a week and a half left in my semester this is what I need to get done...
1 exam tomorrow in chem
3 more papers for com212...1 due tomorrow and I am doing it tomorrow :-D
1 FOIL Assignment due Wed 12/5 for media law
1 final abstract due Web 12/5 for media law
1 15 min group presentation for COM360
1 12-14pg group paper due for COM360
Finals
Monday
2-4pm COM360
6-8pm BRC319
Tuesday
1030-1230pm CHE300
2-4pm COM212
Wednesday
RADIO LAB 12-3
Thursday
ANT369
That night I am going to Boston with my mom for the weekend. She is speaking on a radio show and doing another speech somewhere else. Never been to Boston so it should be fun.
Ill leave you all with that for now, Ill do another post once all of that is over...maybe ill be a tad more cheery