Thanksgiving Break
Honestly not the best break I have ever had.
First off I guess this semester is kicking my ass grade wise. I am worried about failing one class and doing poorly in another other class. This sucks because once the grade is there I am not upset but the anticipation of getting the grade sucks balls and that lasts months longer then the actual news of the grade...if you follow that.
I had a long conversation with Oz the other night about relationships and the "group" we had. I told him I went through all my old posts which date back from junior year of high school. I got depressed because I miss that feeling of having a group. We were good friends but we have slowly drifted apart and are now on our own journies. I know me and Oz will always be friends where ever our lives take us and that is a great feeling to know you have a friend whos always there. As far as relationships go I kinda explained my past situations and he explained his. I have to connect that with previous posts because the majority of my high school posts consisted of me complaining of not having a girlfriend and wanting one badly. I also feel as if I was less stressed when I was younger and had no girlfriend. I feel like I was in a hurry to experience what others had in high school and that stressed me out that I was behind in that aspect. Seeing how I am very insecure of my age this got to me very quickly. Therefore the stress was the same if not greater then, than it is now. Don't get me wrong I love the relationships ive been in and am currently in now its just that girls fuck with my head waaaay tooo much.
So summing up the last 2 paragraphs my major issues now are school and relationships, ill leave it up2 the reader to figure out which one over does the other.
I love the Fire/EMS stuff and as I do it more I really really enjoy myself. I was thinking about that question I get asked frequently and that is "Why do I do it?" or "What do I like about it." I came up with an answer that I never thought about before. The answer is that I stress about everything...there isnt one aspect of my life I do not worry about at least a little bit. When I go on a fire or EMS call I take all my focus off of my current situation and I put all my attention to someone else's bad day. Lets face it most ppl in Fire/EMS are wishing for a call, or someone's bad day. I like to help others and it makes me feel great knowing that someone's misery may have been semi amended or even avoided by my doing.
On that note we had an 80 (accident with injuries) last night. I arrived on the Engine to inspect the vehicles for hazards. There was minimal damage to the front of car that we approached and there were 2 ppl in the car. The girl in the passenger seat was apparently driving and crying hysterically. I worked my heroic charm and just calmed her down. She had pain in her left knee and I talked her mother into having her evaluated at the hospital. Her mother then began to complain of neck pain so I held stabilization and assisted in backboarding her. The reason this call stuck out is due to the fact that I havent gotten to do good EMS with the fire dept for a long time and also that I took charge and the response I got was mainly positive by the other firefighters minus a few asshole officers who I wont name. All in all this is an example of a call that really made me feel good. This specific call wasnt even horrible with injury(ive been to cardiac arrests that were less dramatic) but the fact that I may have helped this folks through a rough day makes it worth it.
Last thing I want to say is for the most part I am really happy with how my life is and I dont need much of a change for now. I just started a relationship with someone and its getting better and better the more we hang out. The school stuff is rough on me prolly due to the relationship but I am the type of person that does things that make them happy...I do what I can to get by but I wont be unhappy if theres something better worth doing. The fire/ems stuff I will continue doing for the rest of my life I hope because it truely does make me happy.
The hero
First off I guess this semester is kicking my ass grade wise. I am worried about failing one class and doing poorly in another other class. This sucks because once the grade is there I am not upset but the anticipation of getting the grade sucks balls and that lasts months longer then the actual news of the grade...if you follow that.
I had a long conversation with Oz the other night about relationships and the "group" we had. I told him I went through all my old posts which date back from junior year of high school. I got depressed because I miss that feeling of having a group. We were good friends but we have slowly drifted apart and are now on our own journies. I know me and Oz will always be friends where ever our lives take us and that is a great feeling to know you have a friend whos always there. As far as relationships go I kinda explained my past situations and he explained his. I have to connect that with previous posts because the majority of my high school posts consisted of me complaining of not having a girlfriend and wanting one badly. I also feel as if I was less stressed when I was younger and had no girlfriend. I feel like I was in a hurry to experience what others had in high school and that stressed me out that I was behind in that aspect. Seeing how I am very insecure of my age this got to me very quickly. Therefore the stress was the same if not greater then, than it is now. Don't get me wrong I love the relationships ive been in and am currently in now its just that girls fuck with my head waaaay tooo much.
So summing up the last 2 paragraphs my major issues now are school and relationships, ill leave it up2 the reader to figure out which one over does the other.
I love the Fire/EMS stuff and as I do it more I really really enjoy myself. I was thinking about that question I get asked frequently and that is "Why do I do it?" or "What do I like about it." I came up with an answer that I never thought about before. The answer is that I stress about everything...there isnt one aspect of my life I do not worry about at least a little bit. When I go on a fire or EMS call I take all my focus off of my current situation and I put all my attention to someone else's bad day. Lets face it most ppl in Fire/EMS are wishing for a call, or someone's bad day. I like to help others and it makes me feel great knowing that someone's misery may have been semi amended or even avoided by my doing.
On that note we had an 80 (accident with injuries) last night. I arrived on the Engine to inspect the vehicles for hazards. There was minimal damage to the front of car that we approached and there were 2 ppl in the car. The girl in the passenger seat was apparently driving and crying hysterically. I worked my heroic charm and just calmed her down. She had pain in her left knee and I talked her mother into having her evaluated at the hospital. Her mother then began to complain of neck pain so I held stabilization and assisted in backboarding her. The reason this call stuck out is due to the fact that I havent gotten to do good EMS with the fire dept for a long time and also that I took charge and the response I got was mainly positive by the other firefighters minus a few asshole officers who I wont name. All in all this is an example of a call that really made me feel good. This specific call wasnt even horrible with injury(ive been to cardiac arrests that were less dramatic) but the fact that I may have helped this folks through a rough day makes it worth it.
Last thing I want to say is for the most part I am really happy with how my life is and I dont need much of a change for now. I just started a relationship with someone and its getting better and better the more we hang out. The school stuff is rough on me prolly due to the relationship but I am the type of person that does things that make them happy...I do what I can to get by but I wont be unhappy if theres something better worth doing. The fire/ems stuff I will continue doing for the rest of my life I hope because it truely does make me happy.
The hero