Rut Rut
Thoughts just rumble in my head as I try to make sense of them. They never stop long enough for me to evaluate them. They just zoom this way and that way, passing to the forefront of my mind to the back of it. It comes and goes.
Thoughts that just range from mundane to life altering. What is to become of me?
Why can't I just shake these fears of writing and just write? I just need to write, to compose these ideas that I have in my head to form the scenes that composes this particular script that I'm writing. But nothing comes. I'm petrified by the mere thought of not writing it correctly that it just dies before I even start.
It has tons of potential, like I have tons of unlocked potential that just needs to be released. I just need to jump right in and shed my inhibitions. I need to shake the fear that clouds my mind. I just need to put that important first word on to paper and then it will all come flushing out like a bursting dam. I just need to find the right word.
Wedding. It is a wedding. Here the lovers or the thrown together pair will unite. Here is where they make it official to the world. Here is where they make it official to their parents and permanently lock themselves in this matrimony of impulse. Will this union last or will it fizzle as fast as it came to be?
The ending just escapes me. I can't picture it in my head. I just need to worry about the next step, the next scene and then worry about the scene after that and ultimately it will lead me to the final scene. It should come to me organically. It should just come to me when it comes, so it doesn't feel forced.
I just need to find the right grove again. Stella's got her groove back, but why can't I? Is it because I am at home, writing, which I haven't done in years? Is it because of that? I just need to break into this room, this office slash bedroom and be comfortable in it and then my mind will just be able to release the potential that is in me.
Routine. Schedule. I need to come up with one. Days where I will write. Days where I will watch television or movies. Days where I will go to school. Just focus. I just need to focus. Finish this script and jump on something else that is either new or create something else in a different medium.
I'm just at a total loss. I can't think straight. Girls clouding my head, relationships that just taunt me.
I'm addicted now. I had a taste, more than a taste..I lived high and favored what was before me. But now it is gone, and I miss it. I miss the touch, the warmth, the nights of wrapped around arms. I just miss that certain feeling to have someone there. It just clouds my mind and it is coming back with a vengence. I just need to focus and not think about it anymore. Put it out of my mind. Brush it aside. That's where it needs to be...to the side, out of my mind.
I'm not going to think about it. I'm not going to think of the possibilities. I'm not going to think about those that I was chatting to. I'm not going to think about the past. I'm just going to focus on what is in front of me, and that is my job and my work, my passion, my dreams and goals. Those take the main stage. They are more important to me now than ever. Life is just passing me by and I'm not even making an effort to fulfill this passing dream.
Writing. Directing. Creating. The opportunity is always in my hand, but I just look at it and not participate.
Thoughts that just range from mundane to life altering. What is to become of me?
Why can't I just shake these fears of writing and just write? I just need to write, to compose these ideas that I have in my head to form the scenes that composes this particular script that I'm writing. But nothing comes. I'm petrified by the mere thought of not writing it correctly that it just dies before I even start.
It has tons of potential, like I have tons of unlocked potential that just needs to be released. I just need to jump right in and shed my inhibitions. I need to shake the fear that clouds my mind. I just need to put that important first word on to paper and then it will all come flushing out like a bursting dam. I just need to find the right word.
Wedding. It is a wedding. Here the lovers or the thrown together pair will unite. Here is where they make it official to the world. Here is where they make it official to their parents and permanently lock themselves in this matrimony of impulse. Will this union last or will it fizzle as fast as it came to be?
The ending just escapes me. I can't picture it in my head. I just need to worry about the next step, the next scene and then worry about the scene after that and ultimately it will lead me to the final scene. It should come to me organically. It should just come to me when it comes, so it doesn't feel forced.
I just need to find the right grove again. Stella's got her groove back, but why can't I? Is it because I am at home, writing, which I haven't done in years? Is it because of that? I just need to break into this room, this office slash bedroom and be comfortable in it and then my mind will just be able to release the potential that is in me.
Routine. Schedule. I need to come up with one. Days where I will write. Days where I will watch television or movies. Days where I will go to school. Just focus. I just need to focus. Finish this script and jump on something else that is either new or create something else in a different medium.
I'm just at a total loss. I can't think straight. Girls clouding my head, relationships that just taunt me.
I'm addicted now. I had a taste, more than a taste..I lived high and favored what was before me. But now it is gone, and I miss it. I miss the touch, the warmth, the nights of wrapped around arms. I just miss that certain feeling to have someone there. It just clouds my mind and it is coming back with a vengence. I just need to focus and not think about it anymore. Put it out of my mind. Brush it aside. That's where it needs to be...to the side, out of my mind.
I'm not going to think about it. I'm not going to think of the possibilities. I'm not going to think about those that I was chatting to. I'm not going to think about the past. I'm just going to focus on what is in front of me, and that is my job and my work, my passion, my dreams and goals. Those take the main stage. They are more important to me now than ever. Life is just passing me by and I'm not even making an effort to fulfill this passing dream.
Writing. Directing. Creating. The opportunity is always in my hand, but I just look at it and not participate.