Money. Can I just have some and be done with it?
Job-hunting, as always, is incredibly unsuccesful. I can normally stay fairly chipper about it; but sometimes I think about it too much, and there it is: worryworryworryworry.
I know that if I keep trying, eventually I'll be succesful. In five or six years time I'll look back and laugh at how frightened I was. But right now it's kind of hard to hold onto.
The average wage for a graduate is £25,000, according to The Google. *raises eyebrows*. Right now, though, I can't even imagine earning enough to pay my rent, which is a bit worrying. I'm doing a few things at the moment - I've got my profile up on a tutoring website (no responses yet), I'm a mystery shopper (who hasn't had any assignments because apparently there's never any within walking distance of where I live), and tomorrow I'm going to walk around the neighbourhood and put offers to hoover for people through their doors. I got kind of annoyed about the last one, because when I mentioned it to someone I got "well, if you want to get into that." I felt like shaking them and saying "No, I want to be a writer! You know that! But there are a couple of things called rent and food that I'll be attempting to pay without a student loan next year."
Grr. And speaking of next year...
I've decided that I'm going to do an MA. I don't really know how the whole thing works, but there are two things I do know: I will not get a student loan for it as it's a second degree, and I have to get a 2:2 minimum to get in. The 2:2 isn't a problem as I'm averaging 2:1 at the moment (can't wait to see what my latest essays get, I was really pleased with them), but the student loan could be... interesting. Basically, if I use up all my savings I could pay to either live or study. Not both.
There's the added complication of my children's bonds. Courtesy of my wonderful grandmother and godmother, I have around £3,500 there - enough to just about pay for my MA, and therefore leaving the 4k I still have in my savings to live off for another year. Which is brilliant, but I'd been planning to put that money in an ISA and start the pot for eventually buying my own house/flat/bedsit. *screws up face in indecision*. I don't want to end university, MA or none, having used up the last of my cash. And I don't want to end up falling on the bonds money just to live off - I want to make a decision about it and be firm.
And if I'm a writer that means I'm self-employed and I hate having to keep track of money because I'm always afraid that I'll get it wrong and I could try for stagehand which would be fun but it's not a career path I want to do for the rest of my life and I should try and get some editing experience but it's apparently really competitive and I had to drop out of doing the student magazine because I couldn't fit it in with everything else so I've lost the opportunity to put that on my CV and, and... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Could someone just post me a winning lottery ticket, please?
Why does everything have to be so hard?
/rant. Ha. In other news, I'm slowly catching up with NaNo. I wrote 6k on Sunday night and another 4k yesterday, so as long as I get 10k written by the end of Thursday I should be good. *sigh*
*wanders off to alternate reading Antony and Cleopatra with writing NaNo*
HK
ps: sorry flist, LJ won't let me cut this.
I know that if I keep trying, eventually I'll be succesful. In five or six years time I'll look back and laugh at how frightened I was. But right now it's kind of hard to hold onto.
The average wage for a graduate is £25,000, according to The Google. *raises eyebrows*. Right now, though, I can't even imagine earning enough to pay my rent, which is a bit worrying. I'm doing a few things at the moment - I've got my profile up on a tutoring website (no responses yet), I'm a mystery shopper (who hasn't had any assignments because apparently there's never any within walking distance of where I live), and tomorrow I'm going to walk around the neighbourhood and put offers to hoover for people through their doors. I got kind of annoyed about the last one, because when I mentioned it to someone I got "well, if you want to get into that." I felt like shaking them and saying "No, I want to be a writer! You know that! But there are a couple of things called rent and food that I'll be attempting to pay without a student loan next year."
Grr. And speaking of next year...
I've decided that I'm going to do an MA. I don't really know how the whole thing works, but there are two things I do know: I will not get a student loan for it as it's a second degree, and I have to get a 2:2 minimum to get in. The 2:2 isn't a problem as I'm averaging 2:1 at the moment (can't wait to see what my latest essays get, I was really pleased with them), but the student loan could be... interesting. Basically, if I use up all my savings I could pay to either live or study. Not both.
There's the added complication of my children's bonds. Courtesy of my wonderful grandmother and godmother, I have around £3,500 there - enough to just about pay for my MA, and therefore leaving the 4k I still have in my savings to live off for another year. Which is brilliant, but I'd been planning to put that money in an ISA and start the pot for eventually buying my own house/flat/bedsit. *screws up face in indecision*. I don't want to end university, MA or none, having used up the last of my cash. And I don't want to end up falling on the bonds money just to live off - I want to make a decision about it and be firm.
And if I'm a writer that means I'm self-employed and I hate having to keep track of money because I'm always afraid that I'll get it wrong and I could try for stagehand which would be fun but it's not a career path I want to do for the rest of my life and I should try and get some editing experience but it's apparently really competitive and I had to drop out of doing the student magazine because I couldn't fit it in with everything else so I've lost the opportunity to put that on my CV and, and... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Could someone just post me a winning lottery ticket, please?
Why does everything have to be so hard?
/rant. Ha. In other news, I'm slowly catching up with NaNo. I wrote 6k on Sunday night and another 4k yesterday, so as long as I get 10k written by the end of Thursday I should be good. *sigh*
*wanders off to alternate reading Antony and Cleopatra with writing NaNo*
HK
ps: sorry flist, LJ won't let me cut this.