Hermione felt just awful. Taking so much time away in a foolish attempt to collect herself, she realized, had really caused more harm than good. At least, she had gotten past the self-destructive mindset that everything was all her fault, and had moved on to being irate with Ron. But, that's not why she felt so terribly
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She was moving into her new flat - her first flat all her own - with Mandy on Monday. They had signed their lease with a week to move in. Which, for most people, would have been enough time. But since the party and her nights at Roger's, the days had passed quickly.
Now she was at her parent's scrambling to get her things together. For somebody who had been so used to living in a suitcase, albeit a charmed suitcase that had the space of ten, she was realizing how much stuff she had left in her childhood home.
Finally by early afternoon she had sorted most of it out. She headed downstairs for some lunch. And that was when she heard the door.
"Hermione-" she breathed, more than a little shocked by her arrival. Though, Lavender stepped aside to allow her to step by. "Come inside. It must be freezing."
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Once Lavender closed the door, Hermione started to remove her plentiful layers, draping things over her arm. She couldn't help but blurt out, "I'm sorry for arriving unannounced, I hope you're not too busy, but I just had to come. And I'm so sorry for not coming sooner." Her face flushed slightly with embarrassment, but she was determined to set things right with her old schoolmate.
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But she had also seen those people come back into her life in the last month. It was heartwarming.
"I was just about to make lunch. Are you hungry?"
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"Starved, actually. Thank you." Hermione was more than grateful for Lavender's warm reception.
She still felt anxious about bringing up the attack, not sure what kind of mental state she was in. But while newspapers were a valuable resource, she knew it was better to get Lavender's side of the story.
Hermione tried to be delicate to test the waters, "How are you feeling, dear?"
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"It's an adjustment," she told her, not sure herself if she was referring to being back in England or the attack. Either way, it was a lot to take in.
"Everything just seems to be moving so fast now. Life moves slower on the road."
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She nodded in agreement, though she did not understand the concept as well as Lavender. She had only been gone for a couple of months, not years. "It does feel odd coming back into... nearly... the same life you left, after seeing so much."
Hermione debated asking a direct question, as Lavender seems a little distracted, vague. "Lavender." She exhaled sharply, she had to say something, to get it off her chest, and answer for her neglect. There was no other way to move on for her, "Lav, I'm so sorry. I've been a terrible friend, and here you are, making me lunch as if nothing happened! I should have been there for you. I don't know what came over me that I thought I could put it off. I'm so, so sorry."
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Really, Lavender hated to be doted on. She had never been one to ask for help or let an illness hold her back. Madame Pomfrey absolutely dreaded the days Lavender Brown visited the hospital wing, knowing her day would be filled with lecturing the young girl to stop fidgeting or sneaking out of bed.
This was different. The feeling was new. When they were in school Lavender knew who they were up against, understood who the Death Eaters were, and had seen what Who Know Who was capable of. But the Burning Man had taken her completely by surprise and had paralyzed her. She had been closer to death than she liked to admit.
"I have Roger and George…and Marlow all checking in on me all the time. It's driven me mad," she went on, keeping her voice light as possible. Though it was clear, especially to Hermione who knew Lavender so well, that there was more to it. "You were away. I'm sure the news didn't even reach you until recently."
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Her confession allowed her to breathe with a little more ease. Even if the attention annoyed Lavender, it surely must be done. You don't ignore your friends and pretend all is well when death was so close by... Goodness, she could have easily met the same end as Parvati- a girl they had known so well, if it weren't for some kind of enormous luck (not that Hermione really believed in that type of thing. There was obviously a logical, and wonderful, reason that Lavender survived). But, this was something that would simply be rude to bring up now.
"I'm glad that you have them, you'll have to forgive them for bothering you so, Lavender. Under the circumstances, you should expect nothing else!" Since she really didn't have another excuse for herself, and had nothing but regrets for waiting so long, she focused her attention on another detail.
"Oh, erm- about Roger. How are things between you two?" One potentially awkward conversation to the next! Why not?
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"Oh Roger-" she started, a blush creeping into her cheeks now. Every since they were young he had that affect on her. "We've sort of, picked back up. I ran into him at the ball and well, you know how terrible our self control has always been with each other."
It was part of the reason she had left. Not because she had been angry with him or she felt she needed a new start. Lavender knew that if they didn't have any distance they would just make the same mistakes over again, unable to stay away. And with a baby involved, Lavender just couldn't stand the idea of slowly falling away from him. It was easier to take control and make the decision for them both.
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Hermione raised her eyebrows a bit, but tried to control herself as she watched Lavender's reaction to Roger's name. Obviously, she was wrong in doubting the column so much. She smiled and shook her head slightly, not to disapprove, just in a way that she should have known. The relationship was... indisputably messy, but they clearly cared for each other.
"I see," she said trying not to cast heavy judgment before getting the facts. Even if they genuinely cared for each other, Roger and Lavender had a lot of baggage, and there was a risk of Lavender getting hurt again. As her friend, she felt it her duty to lean toward caution when it came to Roger. Then again, he was there for Lavender, when she was not. So, he had a leg up on Hermione at the moment.
"You're working things out, then? Oh, um, I mean... you're happy?"
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And they were, in their own way. It was strange seeing Roger as anything more than her neighbor, best friend, love of her life. Growing up there hadn't been any boundaries between them. Now there were walls - there was years of distance, new memories, new families that stood between them.
Lavender went over to the refrigerator to rummage for something to eat. She pulled out about six types of lunch meat and cheeses with a loaf of bread.
"He has Lily now and I have my job. We're being as cautious as we can be," she went on, spreading everything out on the kitchen island. "But most of it feels like, well, the way it was."
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Her eyes couldn't help but get a little wide as the smells of food drifting around the kitchen, and her stomach made some slight rumbling noises. She grabbed the end of the loaf and, as politely as she could, tore off a piece of the end and began nimbling at it as Lavender spoke on.
She couldn't imagine what it must be like with Lily and Maeve in the background/foreground of her life with Roger. "Well, you've known each other for such a long time, you can't pretend nothing has happened between you two. Of course the familiar feelings will still be there. But I think it's good to maintain some distance, just in case."
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She started to spread everything out for the two of them before heading back to grab some condiments. A ham and cheese sandwich just didn't taste the same with out any mayonnaise.
Just as she turned back, something dawned on her. She frowned as she turned back to her friend.
"You're vegan, aren't you? I can't serve you plain bread."
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Hermione smiled and waved her hand dismissively. She did not expect anyone to prepare any specialty dishes for her. "Oh, it's fine." Before Lavender could even respond she had half her arm in her purse and pulled out a small tub of red pepper hummus and a head of lettuce. "I always have something in here," she said referring to her bottomless handbag.
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"Always prepared," she mused, putting together a sandwich for herself. If she had been alone Lavender probably would have just picked at the deli meat one by one and, while Hermione may have shared a dorm room with her for so many years, it was hardly polite.
"Mandy and I found a flat together, which will be nice. I've been staying with George since I've been back," she went on to explain. It was very confusing. "Though, with his new girlfriend I think I overstayed my welcome. I'm just saying a few nights with Roger now."
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She nodded a bit and chewed her food quickly, and wiped her face with a napkin. "That sounds lovely, I'm sure you and Mandy will get on really well as roommates." She restrained herself from making any comments about her presently staying with Roger, since it was only temporary.
"George has a new girlfriend, hm?" She said smiling, taking another small bite of food. Her mind flooded with possibilities. With the life he led, it really could be anybody.
Lavender, it suddenly came to her, was probably the perfect person to catch her up on the daily lives of their circle of friends. Especially since she knew how to felt to be so behind on everyone's lives. "What has everyone been up to," she added a bit bashfully. Hermione didn't approve of gossip, but this was really more like news.
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