Is this a milestone?
I forgot to post about this earlier, but two weeks ago, I found out I got into graduate school! So I'll be getting my MFA in Creative Writing. It's at my alma mater and I don't get any financial aid the first year, but I got. I'd dreamed of going away to graduate school, but when I found out that I got in, I realized I'm not ready to leave home yet, especially if I'm not getting any money for it. It turns out I turned my applications in way too close to the deadline to get financial aid, but no one told me that they give it away early. I figured they read everything first and then divvy up the money. I feel kind of dumb about it, but my parents didn't even know about that until after I applied, when my brother's advisor started telling him about applying to four-year colleges from community college. It just seems so obvious now. Has anyone else ever felt like this?
I also picked colleges that only accept up to 25 people per year (Iowa, Indiana, LSU, Michigan, and Brown) because they offered everyone financial aid if they were accepted. I definitely overestimated myself. Also, if you're going to accept so few people and half of them will probably go elsewhere, why wouldn't you have a waiting list? My alma mater had a waiting list---that's how I got in.
I wanted this to be a happy post, but I guess I still have some angst about it. I thought I wouldn't be one of those people who did their undergraduate and graduate study at the same place. I don't even know why---it just seemed like the thing I was supposed to do. But I know I'll be happy at my alma mater. I just thought that this would be some sort of grand coming-of-age adventure and I'm not sure it will be. And I feel a bit embarassed that I'm 23 and still living at home. I guess I just have to stop holding myself to ridiculous standards that no one can live up to.
I want to be happy, but my anxiety keeps finding reasons to be upset and sad. But I have to power through it. I've survived much, much worse than disappointment.
I also picked colleges that only accept up to 25 people per year (Iowa, Indiana, LSU, Michigan, and Brown) because they offered everyone financial aid if they were accepted. I definitely overestimated myself. Also, if you're going to accept so few people and half of them will probably go elsewhere, why wouldn't you have a waiting list? My alma mater had a waiting list---that's how I got in.
I wanted this to be a happy post, but I guess I still have some angst about it. I thought I wouldn't be one of those people who did their undergraduate and graduate study at the same place. I don't even know why---it just seemed like the thing I was supposed to do. But I know I'll be happy at my alma mater. I just thought that this would be some sort of grand coming-of-age adventure and I'm not sure it will be. And I feel a bit embarassed that I'm 23 and still living at home. I guess I just have to stop holding myself to ridiculous standards that no one can live up to.
I want to be happy, but my anxiety keeps finding reasons to be upset and sad. But I have to power through it. I've survived much, much worse than disappointment.