Flying by....
I'm sitting down looking forward to the most relaxing of weekends in a long while. I am going home.
This year has been so full of events that it's hard to think and reflect on what has happened and how it's affected me. 7 deaths close to me, starting at uni, struggling with uni, quitting one work (twice) and still working there for celebrity shifts, getting into the Philharmonia choir, performing with them, being frustrated by them, getting into a musical (one of my all time favourites) and though it's not happened yet, kissing a girl... on stage...
Becoming a responsible adult. Is it really all it's talked up to be, or even what its all talked down about. Responsibility can suck at times, but it's better to have it than to have no expectations of you. I'm teaching now, the lives of 4 year olds in my hands for an hour a week, and the same with kindi kids, and now my highschool class, their fragile self-esteems are placed in my care for nurturing, for confidence to work together to improvise and to create. The responsibility part is the fact that I'll be taking a vocal group from my school (AIPA- the Australian Institute of Performing Arts) to Canberra on a performance tour with another teacher. A little scary really.
You know, with life rolling on so fast, it's hard to see how everything is going to get done, but I have every faith that it will, though if I pass everything, I swear I'll probably die of shock.
I miss so many people, and so many relationships that seem to have passed me as I have been rushing around. I can't believe that I haven't spoken to so many of my friends in months. Is it worth it to work so hard for no real reason except to be independant, and able to support yourself?
Something I haven't talked about at all, to anyone, is the fact that my mother is treating me like her daughter, she is actually "motherly". I've never had a mum who (once you pass the age of 7) gets you soup when you are sick, tells you that you're doing too much when you get tired... It's just odd, I've never had it, and the fact that as I want to be independant and broken away from this, it seems to have come too late. No regrets though, maybe I'll find out a way to have both.
You know one other thing, I've been reading about, hearing about, and talking to my ex b/f's and one is finally finding someone, one has been together with his new g/f for 20 months, and the other is hung up on us, it is interesting to see how life's hurdles effect each person differently.
There are things I wish for, thing I would want to be different, but sometimes it's just not possible. Plus, those dreams, tangable or not, keep us going.
This year has been so full of events that it's hard to think and reflect on what has happened and how it's affected me. 7 deaths close to me, starting at uni, struggling with uni, quitting one work (twice) and still working there for celebrity shifts, getting into the Philharmonia choir, performing with them, being frustrated by them, getting into a musical (one of my all time favourites) and though it's not happened yet, kissing a girl... on stage...
Becoming a responsible adult. Is it really all it's talked up to be, or even what its all talked down about. Responsibility can suck at times, but it's better to have it than to have no expectations of you. I'm teaching now, the lives of 4 year olds in my hands for an hour a week, and the same with kindi kids, and now my highschool class, their fragile self-esteems are placed in my care for nurturing, for confidence to work together to improvise and to create. The responsibility part is the fact that I'll be taking a vocal group from my school (AIPA- the Australian Institute of Performing Arts) to Canberra on a performance tour with another teacher. A little scary really.
You know, with life rolling on so fast, it's hard to see how everything is going to get done, but I have every faith that it will, though if I pass everything, I swear I'll probably die of shock.
I miss so many people, and so many relationships that seem to have passed me as I have been rushing around. I can't believe that I haven't spoken to so many of my friends in months. Is it worth it to work so hard for no real reason except to be independant, and able to support yourself?
Something I haven't talked about at all, to anyone, is the fact that my mother is treating me like her daughter, she is actually "motherly". I've never had a mum who (once you pass the age of 7) gets you soup when you are sick, tells you that you're doing too much when you get tired... It's just odd, I've never had it, and the fact that as I want to be independant and broken away from this, it seems to have come too late. No regrets though, maybe I'll find out a way to have both.
You know one other thing, I've been reading about, hearing about, and talking to my ex b/f's and one is finally finding someone, one has been together with his new g/f for 20 months, and the other is hung up on us, it is interesting to see how life's hurdles effect each person differently.
There are things I wish for, thing I would want to be different, but sometimes it's just not possible. Plus, those dreams, tangable or not, keep us going.