I should do this more often...
Well, I have been told by a few that I need to update more often, so, here I am. as I've said, Uni is good, it's work, and it's hard, but it's good. I'm finding people I really enjoy being around and working with, so far there's no bithy-ness, but i guess that's just because no-one really knows anyone else well enough yet, and maybe that's the best way to be.
This is a little bit rant-y so you may want to just skip the rest of the post from here. I'm working at the Royal still, but I really think I'm going to leave soon. I haven't been enjoying it since pretty much the beginning of this year, and 4 months in and I'm still going. Ian make the shifts that I always seem to be on with him an absolute trial, Lisa is good to work with in the kitchen, but if I work with her I'm on function and that generally means, really rude people, drunken guys making passes, walking in a crowded room not seeing where hands are coming from and who they belong to... I used to like it, but with the change in menu and the pub going up a notch, with Jacki quitting, Mark leaving to travel home and the clientelle becoming worse and worse with the hour, I think I'm a little over it.
I'm thinking about moving out. Just another little thing. I don't know whether I will move out with someone, or whether I will find a place by myself, or whether I will move in with complete strangers and take my chances, but I think I just want to get out. I have itchy feet, I need to move.
I have been missing all of the people I have been trying so hard to keep in touch with, overseas, here and even in this damn suburb, but i just don't seem to be able to do it. You know, I think I'm starting to struggle, but what can you do but keep struggling until it either gets easier or you just get used to it till it gets harder again.
I have been hurt a few times in the last week, by 3 people very close to me and to my heart, and I just don't know how to deal with it. I have been in a way, rejected by all 3 and it's hard to deal with, especially when living alone, and even when people are here, they're family and in a way, have to care, though even they don't really seem to. I just don't know, have I changed, have they changed, do I like who I am now if it's me, have I become what I hate and fear. Thinking, a dangerous pass time, but what I am off to do some of.
Good night, sweet dreams, and be safe.
~R
This is a little bit rant-y so you may want to just skip the rest of the post from here. I'm working at the Royal still, but I really think I'm going to leave soon. I haven't been enjoying it since pretty much the beginning of this year, and 4 months in and I'm still going. Ian make the shifts that I always seem to be on with him an absolute trial, Lisa is good to work with in the kitchen, but if I work with her I'm on function and that generally means, really rude people, drunken guys making passes, walking in a crowded room not seeing where hands are coming from and who they belong to... I used to like it, but with the change in menu and the pub going up a notch, with Jacki quitting, Mark leaving to travel home and the clientelle becoming worse and worse with the hour, I think I'm a little over it.
I'm thinking about moving out. Just another little thing. I don't know whether I will move out with someone, or whether I will find a place by myself, or whether I will move in with complete strangers and take my chances, but I think I just want to get out. I have itchy feet, I need to move.
I have been missing all of the people I have been trying so hard to keep in touch with, overseas, here and even in this damn suburb, but i just don't seem to be able to do it. You know, I think I'm starting to struggle, but what can you do but keep struggling until it either gets easier or you just get used to it till it gets harder again.
I have been hurt a few times in the last week, by 3 people very close to me and to my heart, and I just don't know how to deal with it. I have been in a way, rejected by all 3 and it's hard to deal with, especially when living alone, and even when people are here, they're family and in a way, have to care, though even they don't really seem to. I just don't know, have I changed, have they changed, do I like who I am now if it's me, have I become what I hate and fear. Thinking, a dangerous pass time, but what I am off to do some of.
Good night, sweet dreams, and be safe.
~R