Irrational Behavior
Title: Irrational Behavior
Author: herinfiniteeyes
Pairing: Kirk/Spock pre-slash
Rating: PG
Written for the st_xi_kink_meme. Prompt: I’ve seen a lot of prompts here lately where Jim is sick and Spock looks after him/sexes him. Well, I’d like to see a fic where Spock gets sick and finds comfort in the person who he thinks is the least likely person possible - Jim Kirk. Maybe Spock picks up a bug during shore leave or something and Jim keeps him company while he’s kneeling before the porcelain throne.
Bonus: a) Spock is very reluctant to be anywhere Jimmy K while he’s in this state and tells him to GTFO in a Vulcan-like (or not so Vulcan-like) way.
b) Jim says something along the lines of, "Yeah, about that: no."
"I do not think you should be in such close proximity to myself, Captain," Spock said, even though his tone was somewhat weak due to puking his guts out moments earlier.
"And why is that, Mr. Spock?" Kirk shot back.
He clenched his lips against the roiling nausea in his stomach. "The doctor recommended that I sequester myself in order to avoid infecting the rest of the crew."
Kirk appeared to consider this for all of about five seconds. "Yeah, about that...no. I'm not gonna leave you here all by yourself on shore leave without anyone taking care of you, Spock."
Spock glared up at Kirk from his kneeling position next to the hotel bathroom's toilet. "Vulcans are completely capable of s..."
"Shut it, Spock. I'm not leaving until you're feeling better, and that's final," Kirk said in his best I'm-the-captain-and-you're-not-so-nanny-nanny-boo-boo voice.
Spock bit the inside of his cheek to stifle the groan of misery that wanted to escape. "Your insistence on assisting me in this manner is highly illogical, Captain."
"Tough titties, Spock," Kirk shot back.
The strange phrase momentarily distracted Spock from the acid crawling up his throat. "I do not understand your words, Captain."
Kirk rolled his eyes and peered closely at Spock. "Forget it. Can I get you anything? Something to eat, maybe?" he offered.
Spock's stomach rolled and he swiftly bent over the toilet. Retching sounds filled the bathroom. Spock struggled against his embarrassment when he sensed his captain kneel next to him and begin to rub circles on his back. Though the contact was not skin-to-skin, his telepathy picked up a vague sense of concern and also sympathy. It relaxed Spock somewhat.
When his stomach stopped seizing, he sat back and Kirk was already there with a towel to wipe his mouth and a glass of water to wash the taste of vomit from his mouth. "Thank you, Captain," he said weakly, giving up on trying to get the persistent man to leave for the moment.
Kirk smirked and leaned back against the bathroom counter with his arms crossed against his chest and his legs crossed at his ankles. "I'm impressed, Spock. Even when you're tossing your cookies, you're still as stoic as ever," he said with amusement.
Spock's back stiffened in offense and he turned his head to make eye contact with the other man. He opened his mouth to tell Kirk to get the fuck out before he choked a bitch, but all that came out was, "Please refrain from making any references to food items, Captain."
Kirk sighed but kept grinning. "Duly noted, Mr. Spock. You're the sick one, so you're the boss."
Spock's eyebrow shot up. "Explain."
The captain pushed himself up from the counter and shrugged. "You're sick and I'm here to take care of you, so feel free to boss me around all you want."
This was an intriguing offer, and Spock was almost tempted to test it, but he was even more tempted to get this man out of his hotel room so that he could rest in peace. "I thank you for the offer, but I find I must insist that you return to the festivities," he pushed.
Kirk apparently decided to openly ignore Spock's protests at this point, because all he did was get up and walk back out into the hotel room to flop down on the unmade bed. "You must be feelin' pretty shitty, Spock, 'cuz usually you're looking a little surly over there," he said as he grabbed the remote. "Man, this hotel is awesome. Who was the genius who booked us here?"
Spock decided his stomach was settled for the time being, so he gracefully stood up and walked to the door of the bathroom. He raised an eyebrow at his captain. "You did, sir."
Kirk laughed and flopped back against the pillows after adjusting them against the headboard. "Oh yeah. Well, anyway. Look at this! We can order new holovids. Whatcha wanna watch, Spocky?"
Spock had to force himself to stay calm. "Captain, do you wish for me to asphyxiate you in the same manner that occurred approximately 19.25 months ago?" His face didn't even twitch as he said this.
Kirk froze and stared at Spock before he sputtered in understanding. "Did you just threaten to choke me?"
"Affirmative," Spock said coolly.
The captain looked stunned. Suddenly, he started laughing hysterically. "Jesus. For what?"
"I do not approve of your illogical nickname, Captain."
Kirk snorted and flailed his arms. "Chill out. I promise I won't call you 'Spocky' anymore. But you can call me Jim. After all, I've seen you puke your guts out."
Spock's shoulders relaxed minutely as he stood next to the bed. "I believe my 'guts,' as you put it, are still in their proper location. If one were to truly 'puke up' one's guts-"
Kirk slashed a hand in the air and interrupted his first officer in exasperation. "Nevermind. Let's order a holovid and if you don't puke again then I'll order up some toast for you to eat. How'd you get sick, anyway?"
Spock's posture was rigid and formal despite his weakened state, but he refused to surrender to the desire to slouch down on the bed as Jim Kirk was doing at present. "Doctor McCoy believes I have caught a rare virus native to Andoria. The Andorians are immune to the virus, but it is particularly dangerous to Vulcan physiology."
"Lame. Well, climb on in and let's get this party started!" Jim said as he patted the space on the bed next to him.
Spock merely raised his eyebrow and did not move an inch. "Captain, this behavior is highly inappropriate."
Kirk moved so fast that Spock's dulled senses couldn't escape the hand that clamped down on his wrist and yanked him onto the bed. He made a yelp of protest and immediately pressed his lips together as the room spun for a moment.
"Come on, Spock. I'm not going to steal your virtue. You need to sit down and relax," he said.
Spock slowly sat up and Jim placed a pillow against the headboard for him to recline against. His head was too fuzzy to think of something coherent to say, so he gingerly sat back against the pillow and released a relieved breath once he was comfortable. "Are you always this persistent in the face of resistance?" he asked.
Kirk snorted. "Of course. Isn't that the whole point of perseverance?"
Spock sighed and turned his gaze to the screen where Jim was scrolling through available choices for the movie. He quickly scanned the information on each film and winced when Kirk chose a "romantic comedy" about a man and woman trying to find love in the big city. "Captain, must we?" he almost whined.
Kirk settled back into his pillow and turned his amused gaze to Spock's. "We must. It has that hot chick from that one other movie about the guys who have to steal diamonds or whatever," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "Just sit back and watch all the illogical human emotional displays."
They lapsed into silence as the movie started. Sappy music poured from the speakers and Spock tried to ignore the action on the screen in favor of lapsing into shallow meditation, but he found himself sucked into the movie against his will. He was entirely baffled by the irrational behavior displayed by the actors.
"Why is the man pretending he doesn't know who she is?" he asked.
Jim smiled. "'Cuz if he didn't, the movie would already be over."
Spock lapsed into silence again for a time until he had another question. "Please explain why the man is behaving differently in person than he does through their communications."
Jim paused the vid and turned to Spock. "Because he's trying to get the chick to fall in love with him so she'll stop talking to the guy she met online."
The Vulcan's mind could not rationalize this behavior. "But is he not the same person as the man writing the communications?"
Jim nodded. "He's trying to win her trust by getting her to doubt the other man."
"You refer to the same man," Spock said patiently, as if to a small child.
"I know, but she doesn't know and she's starting to like the guy because they've been hanging out together."
"So he has obtained his objective. Why continue in this irrational manner?" Spock asked.
Jim huffed. "It's a movie, Spock. The guy's pretending because it'll cause conflict when she finds out he's the same guy she's been comming with."
"I must be mistaken in assuming that humans normally desire to avoid conflict rather than create it," Spock replied stiffly.
Jim threw his hands up in the air. "I give up. Anyway, how's your stomach? Want me to order up some food?"
Spock took stock of his body and decided that a small meal might be beneficial to his overall health. "I think that would be wise," he said.
The movie came on again as Kirk called the restaurant and asked for some tea and toast for Spock and a meal for himself. Spock's attention was riveted to the screen until there was a knock on the door. Kirk jumped up to answer it while Spock watched the onscreen couple kiss. He wondered briefly if he might vomit again.
"Here we go!" he announced as he removed the covers from his tray of toast with an exaggerated flourish. "Mmm, this toast looks delicious. I'd be envious if I didn't have this nice juicy steak to comfort me."
Spock restrained himself from sighing in irritation as he reached for a slice of toast. "Human nature never ceases to amaze me," he said.
Kirk ignored him. "Will it bother you if I eat in front of you? I know you're a vegetarian and you've got a bit of a weak stomach right now, so if it bothers you I can eat somewhere else," he offered.
Spock was impressed with Jim's thoughtfulness. "It will not offend me if you stay. I believe the virus is passing."
Kirk looked surprised. "That fast? Didn't you just get sick last night?"
"Affirmative. Vulcans have a superior immune system to that of other humanoid species." Spock ate his toast and drank the horrible tea while Jim ate his dinner on the bed next to him. He watched the captain in his peripheral vision and realized he was actually enjoying his presence. "I wish to thank you for assisting me today," he said.
Kirk turned to him and grinned around the food he was chewing. "No problem. I didn't wanna leave you to fend for yourself. Everyone needs someone to take care of them when they're sick."
Spock didn't respond. He felt fatigue wash over him and he surprised himself by nodding off.
When he woke with a start, his neck was sore and a strange sniffling noise was coming from the person next to him. He carefully rolled his neck and turned to look at the captain. He was amazed when he saw the man wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "Jim?"
Jim turned back to Spock with a start. "Oh! I didn't know you were awake," he said with a quick sniff. "I was just...hey! You called me Jim!"
Spock fought the urge to smile. "Were you enjoying the movie?" he asked.
Jim shrugged his shoulders. "It was all right. The end was pretty sweet," he said.
"Your emotions were overcome by the conclusion, I assume?"
Jim scowled and poked Spock in the side with his elbow. "So sue me. So I'm a sucker for happy endings."
Spock was surprised by the way his side tingled in awareness from Jim's touch. He unconsciously shifted closer to his captain and pretended to misunderstand his words. "Why would I wish to take legal action against you for behaving like an illogical human?"
Kirk's body shifted closer and suddenly their sides were pressed together. He reached for Spock's hand and fiddled with his fingers. A bolt of desire shot up his arm. "How are you feeling?" Jim asked.
Spock's heart rate and breathing were slightly accelerated in response to Jim's fondling. The captain had to know that Spock's hands were exceptionally sensitive, and yet he was practically making out with him by Vulcan standards. "I am...well," he replied. He pretended not to notice the slight tremor in his voice.
Jim took Spock's hand and arranged it palm up on one of his hands. Spock was afraid of what was coming next, but he wasn't pulling away. He jerked slightly when Jim lazily brushed two of his fingers across the palm and up to his fingers. Spock briefly considered halting his actions, but he chose not to. He swallowed against the need rushing up inside his chest. He'd never really felt this way toward his captain, but now it was impossible not to.
"Spock? Can I kiss you the human way too?" Jim asked softly.
His hands began to tremble. So Jim did know what he was doing to Spock. His breath hitched slightly as he made his decision. "You may," he replied with more calm in his voice than he felt.
Jim's eyes drifted closed and he leaned forward slowly until his lips brushed across Spock's. "Your lips are so warm," he said as he pulled away slightly.
Spock suppressed a shiver. "That is because-"
"Spock. Shut up. I'm kissin' you here," Jim murmured as he leaned back in to press his lips more firmly against Spock's.
Jim got his way, as he always did.
Author: herinfiniteeyes
Pairing: Kirk/Spock pre-slash
Rating: PG
Written for the st_xi_kink_meme. Prompt: I’ve seen a lot of prompts here lately where Jim is sick and Spock looks after him/sexes him. Well, I’d like to see a fic where Spock gets sick and finds comfort in the person who he thinks is the least likely person possible - Jim Kirk. Maybe Spock picks up a bug during shore leave or something and Jim keeps him company while he’s kneeling before the porcelain throne.
Bonus: a) Spock is very reluctant to be anywhere Jimmy K while he’s in this state and tells him to GTFO in a Vulcan-like (or not so Vulcan-like) way.
b) Jim says something along the lines of, "Yeah, about that: no."
"I do not think you should be in such close proximity to myself, Captain," Spock said, even though his tone was somewhat weak due to puking his guts out moments earlier.
"And why is that, Mr. Spock?" Kirk shot back.
He clenched his lips against the roiling nausea in his stomach. "The doctor recommended that I sequester myself in order to avoid infecting the rest of the crew."
Kirk appeared to consider this for all of about five seconds. "Yeah, about that...no. I'm not gonna leave you here all by yourself on shore leave without anyone taking care of you, Spock."
Spock glared up at Kirk from his kneeling position next to the hotel bathroom's toilet. "Vulcans are completely capable of s..."
"Shut it, Spock. I'm not leaving until you're feeling better, and that's final," Kirk said in his best I'm-the-captain-and-you're-not-so-nanny-nanny-boo-boo voice.
Spock bit the inside of his cheek to stifle the groan of misery that wanted to escape. "Your insistence on assisting me in this manner is highly illogical, Captain."
"Tough titties, Spock," Kirk shot back.
The strange phrase momentarily distracted Spock from the acid crawling up his throat. "I do not understand your words, Captain."
Kirk rolled his eyes and peered closely at Spock. "Forget it. Can I get you anything? Something to eat, maybe?" he offered.
Spock's stomach rolled and he swiftly bent over the toilet. Retching sounds filled the bathroom. Spock struggled against his embarrassment when he sensed his captain kneel next to him and begin to rub circles on his back. Though the contact was not skin-to-skin, his telepathy picked up a vague sense of concern and also sympathy. It relaxed Spock somewhat.
When his stomach stopped seizing, he sat back and Kirk was already there with a towel to wipe his mouth and a glass of water to wash the taste of vomit from his mouth. "Thank you, Captain," he said weakly, giving up on trying to get the persistent man to leave for the moment.
Kirk smirked and leaned back against the bathroom counter with his arms crossed against his chest and his legs crossed at his ankles. "I'm impressed, Spock. Even when you're tossing your cookies, you're still as stoic as ever," he said with amusement.
Spock's back stiffened in offense and he turned his head to make eye contact with the other man. He opened his mouth to tell Kirk to get the fuck out before he choked a bitch, but all that came out was, "Please refrain from making any references to food items, Captain."
Kirk sighed but kept grinning. "Duly noted, Mr. Spock. You're the sick one, so you're the boss."
Spock's eyebrow shot up. "Explain."
The captain pushed himself up from the counter and shrugged. "You're sick and I'm here to take care of you, so feel free to boss me around all you want."
This was an intriguing offer, and Spock was almost tempted to test it, but he was even more tempted to get this man out of his hotel room so that he could rest in peace. "I thank you for the offer, but I find I must insist that you return to the festivities," he pushed.
Kirk apparently decided to openly ignore Spock's protests at this point, because all he did was get up and walk back out into the hotel room to flop down on the unmade bed. "You must be feelin' pretty shitty, Spock, 'cuz usually you're looking a little surly over there," he said as he grabbed the remote. "Man, this hotel is awesome. Who was the genius who booked us here?"
Spock decided his stomach was settled for the time being, so he gracefully stood up and walked to the door of the bathroom. He raised an eyebrow at his captain. "You did, sir."
Kirk laughed and flopped back against the pillows after adjusting them against the headboard. "Oh yeah. Well, anyway. Look at this! We can order new holovids. Whatcha wanna watch, Spocky?"
Spock had to force himself to stay calm. "Captain, do you wish for me to asphyxiate you in the same manner that occurred approximately 19.25 months ago?" His face didn't even twitch as he said this.
Kirk froze and stared at Spock before he sputtered in understanding. "Did you just threaten to choke me?"
"Affirmative," Spock said coolly.
The captain looked stunned. Suddenly, he started laughing hysterically. "Jesus. For what?"
"I do not approve of your illogical nickname, Captain."
Kirk snorted and flailed his arms. "Chill out. I promise I won't call you 'Spocky' anymore. But you can call me Jim. After all, I've seen you puke your guts out."
Spock's shoulders relaxed minutely as he stood next to the bed. "I believe my 'guts,' as you put it, are still in their proper location. If one were to truly 'puke up' one's guts-"
Kirk slashed a hand in the air and interrupted his first officer in exasperation. "Nevermind. Let's order a holovid and if you don't puke again then I'll order up some toast for you to eat. How'd you get sick, anyway?"
Spock's posture was rigid and formal despite his weakened state, but he refused to surrender to the desire to slouch down on the bed as Jim Kirk was doing at present. "Doctor McCoy believes I have caught a rare virus native to Andoria. The Andorians are immune to the virus, but it is particularly dangerous to Vulcan physiology."
"Lame. Well, climb on in and let's get this party started!" Jim said as he patted the space on the bed next to him.
Spock merely raised his eyebrow and did not move an inch. "Captain, this behavior is highly inappropriate."
Kirk moved so fast that Spock's dulled senses couldn't escape the hand that clamped down on his wrist and yanked him onto the bed. He made a yelp of protest and immediately pressed his lips together as the room spun for a moment.
"Come on, Spock. I'm not going to steal your virtue. You need to sit down and relax," he said.
Spock slowly sat up and Jim placed a pillow against the headboard for him to recline against. His head was too fuzzy to think of something coherent to say, so he gingerly sat back against the pillow and released a relieved breath once he was comfortable. "Are you always this persistent in the face of resistance?" he asked.
Kirk snorted. "Of course. Isn't that the whole point of perseverance?"
Spock sighed and turned his gaze to the screen where Jim was scrolling through available choices for the movie. He quickly scanned the information on each film and winced when Kirk chose a "romantic comedy" about a man and woman trying to find love in the big city. "Captain, must we?" he almost whined.
Kirk settled back into his pillow and turned his amused gaze to Spock's. "We must. It has that hot chick from that one other movie about the guys who have to steal diamonds or whatever," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "Just sit back and watch all the illogical human emotional displays."
They lapsed into silence as the movie started. Sappy music poured from the speakers and Spock tried to ignore the action on the screen in favor of lapsing into shallow meditation, but he found himself sucked into the movie against his will. He was entirely baffled by the irrational behavior displayed by the actors.
"Why is the man pretending he doesn't know who she is?" he asked.
Jim smiled. "'Cuz if he didn't, the movie would already be over."
Spock lapsed into silence again for a time until he had another question. "Please explain why the man is behaving differently in person than he does through their communications."
Jim paused the vid and turned to Spock. "Because he's trying to get the chick to fall in love with him so she'll stop talking to the guy she met online."
The Vulcan's mind could not rationalize this behavior. "But is he not the same person as the man writing the communications?"
Jim nodded. "He's trying to win her trust by getting her to doubt the other man."
"You refer to the same man," Spock said patiently, as if to a small child.
"I know, but she doesn't know and she's starting to like the guy because they've been hanging out together."
"So he has obtained his objective. Why continue in this irrational manner?" Spock asked.
Jim huffed. "It's a movie, Spock. The guy's pretending because it'll cause conflict when she finds out he's the same guy she's been comming with."
"I must be mistaken in assuming that humans normally desire to avoid conflict rather than create it," Spock replied stiffly.
Jim threw his hands up in the air. "I give up. Anyway, how's your stomach? Want me to order up some food?"
Spock took stock of his body and decided that a small meal might be beneficial to his overall health. "I think that would be wise," he said.
The movie came on again as Kirk called the restaurant and asked for some tea and toast for Spock and a meal for himself. Spock's attention was riveted to the screen until there was a knock on the door. Kirk jumped up to answer it while Spock watched the onscreen couple kiss. He wondered briefly if he might vomit again.
"Here we go!" he announced as he removed the covers from his tray of toast with an exaggerated flourish. "Mmm, this toast looks delicious. I'd be envious if I didn't have this nice juicy steak to comfort me."
Spock restrained himself from sighing in irritation as he reached for a slice of toast. "Human nature never ceases to amaze me," he said.
Kirk ignored him. "Will it bother you if I eat in front of you? I know you're a vegetarian and you've got a bit of a weak stomach right now, so if it bothers you I can eat somewhere else," he offered.
Spock was impressed with Jim's thoughtfulness. "It will not offend me if you stay. I believe the virus is passing."
Kirk looked surprised. "That fast? Didn't you just get sick last night?"
"Affirmative. Vulcans have a superior immune system to that of other humanoid species." Spock ate his toast and drank the horrible tea while Jim ate his dinner on the bed next to him. He watched the captain in his peripheral vision and realized he was actually enjoying his presence. "I wish to thank you for assisting me today," he said.
Kirk turned to him and grinned around the food he was chewing. "No problem. I didn't wanna leave you to fend for yourself. Everyone needs someone to take care of them when they're sick."
Spock didn't respond. He felt fatigue wash over him and he surprised himself by nodding off.
When he woke with a start, his neck was sore and a strange sniffling noise was coming from the person next to him. He carefully rolled his neck and turned to look at the captain. He was amazed when he saw the man wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "Jim?"
Jim turned back to Spock with a start. "Oh! I didn't know you were awake," he said with a quick sniff. "I was just...hey! You called me Jim!"
Spock fought the urge to smile. "Were you enjoying the movie?" he asked.
Jim shrugged his shoulders. "It was all right. The end was pretty sweet," he said.
"Your emotions were overcome by the conclusion, I assume?"
Jim scowled and poked Spock in the side with his elbow. "So sue me. So I'm a sucker for happy endings."
Spock was surprised by the way his side tingled in awareness from Jim's touch. He unconsciously shifted closer to his captain and pretended to misunderstand his words. "Why would I wish to take legal action against you for behaving like an illogical human?"
Kirk's body shifted closer and suddenly their sides were pressed together. He reached for Spock's hand and fiddled with his fingers. A bolt of desire shot up his arm. "How are you feeling?" Jim asked.
Spock's heart rate and breathing were slightly accelerated in response to Jim's fondling. The captain had to know that Spock's hands were exceptionally sensitive, and yet he was practically making out with him by Vulcan standards. "I am...well," he replied. He pretended not to notice the slight tremor in his voice.
Jim took Spock's hand and arranged it palm up on one of his hands. Spock was afraid of what was coming next, but he wasn't pulling away. He jerked slightly when Jim lazily brushed two of his fingers across the palm and up to his fingers. Spock briefly considered halting his actions, but he chose not to. He swallowed against the need rushing up inside his chest. He'd never really felt this way toward his captain, but now it was impossible not to.
"Spock? Can I kiss you the human way too?" Jim asked softly.
His hands began to tremble. So Jim did know what he was doing to Spock. His breath hitched slightly as he made his decision. "You may," he replied with more calm in his voice than he felt.
Jim's eyes drifted closed and he leaned forward slowly until his lips brushed across Spock's. "Your lips are so warm," he said as he pulled away slightly.
Spock suppressed a shiver. "That is because-"
"Spock. Shut up. I'm kissin' you here," Jim murmured as he leaned back in to press his lips more firmly against Spock's.
Jim got his way, as he always did.