Avenue Q - Part 1

[herince_emyn]

People in broadway and avenue_q kept asking for the lyrics to "Avenue Q" and I know that you can't find them anywhere online. And since I have the album and the lyrics booklet, I decided to copy all the lyrics onto the computer. Why? Because I'm completely nuts. I just hope people actually get a use out of this. It's gonna be in a few parts, because it's too long for just one post.

Italicized text indicates singing!
Normal text indicates talking. :Þ


The Avenue Q Theme

The sun is shining,
It's a lovely day.
A perfect morning
For a kid to play
But you've got lots
Of bills to pay -
What can you do?

You work real hard
And the pay's real low
And every hour
Goes oh, so slow
And at the end of the day
There's nowhere to go

But home to Avenue Q!
You live on Avenue Q!
Your friends do too.
You are tweny-two
And you live on Avenue Q!
You live on Avenue Q!
You live on Avenue Q!


What Do You Do With A B.A. In English/It Sucks To Be Me

Princeton:
What do you do with
A B.A. in English?
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college
And plenty of knowledge
Have earned me
This useless degree.
I can't pay the bills yet
'Cause I have no skills yet.
The world is a big scary place...
But somehow I can't shake
The feeling I might make
A difference
To the human race!

Kate Monster:
Morning, Brian!

Brian:
Hi, Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
How's life?

Brian:
Disappointing!

Kate Monster:
What's the matter?

Brian:
The catering company laid me off.

Kate Monster:
Oh, I'm sorry!

Brian:
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm ten years out of college, and I always thought -

Kate Monster:
What?

Brian:
No, it sounds stupid.

Kate Monster:
Aww, come on!

Brian:
When I was little
I thought I would be...

Kate Monster:
What?

Brian:
A big comedian
On late night TV
But now I'm thirty-two
And as you can see
I'm not.

Kate Monster:
Nope.

Brian:
Oh well.
It sucks to be me.

Kate Monster:
Nooo.

Brian:
It sucks to be me.

Kate Monster:
No!

Brian:
It sucks to be broke
And unemployed
And turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.

Kate Monster:
Oh, you think your life sucks?

Brian:
I think so.

Kate:
Your problems aren't so bad!

I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.

Brian:
You are.

Kate Monster:
Thanks!

I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
Fuck!
It sucks to be me!

Brian:
Me too.

Kate Monster:
It sucks to be me.

Brian:
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Brian...

Kate Monster:
And Kate...

Brian:
To not have a job!

Kate Monster:
To not have a date!

Both:
It sucks to be me.

Brian:
Hey, Rod, Nicky,
can you settle something for us?
Do you have a second?

Rod:
Ah, certainly.

Kate Monster:
Who's life sucks more? Brian's or mine?

Nicky/Rod:
Ours!

Rod:
We live together.

Nicky:
We're as close
As people can get.

Rod:
We've been the best of buddles...

Nicky:
Ever since the
Day we met.

Rod:
So he knows lots
Of ways to make me
Really upset.
Oh, every day is
An aggravation.

Nicky:
Come on, that's
An exaggeration!

Rod:
You leave your
Clothes out.
You put your feet
On my chair.

Nicky:
Oh yeah?
You do such anal
Things like ironing
Your underwear.

Rod:
You make that very
Small apartment
We share a hell.

Nicky:
So do you,
That's why I'm in hell too!

Rod:
It sucks to be me!

Nicky:
No, it sucks to be me!

Kate Monster:
It sucks to be me!

Brian:
It sucks to be me!

All:
Is there anybody here
It doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!

Christmas Eve:
Why you all so happy?

Nicky:
Because our lives suck.

Christmas Eve:
Your lives suck? I hearing you correctly? Ha!

I coming to this country
For opportunities.
Tried to work in
Korean deli
But I am Japanese.
But with hard work
I earn two master's degrees
In social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients!
And I have an
Unemployed fiance!
And we have lots
Of bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
SUCK!
It suck to be me.

Princeton:
Excuse me?

Brian:
Hey there.

Princeton:
Sorry to bother you,
but I'm looking for a place to live.

Christmas Eve:
Why you looking all the way out here?

Princeton:
Well, I started at Avenue A,
but so far everything is out of my price range.
But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign!

Brian:
You need to talk to the superintendent.
Let me get him.

Princeton:
Great, thanks!

Brian:
Yo, GARY!

Gary Coleman:
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

Princeton:
Oh my God! It's Gary Coleman!

Gary Coleman:
Yes I am!

I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes.
But I'm here -
The superintendent!
On Avenue Q -

All:
It sucks to be you.

Kate Monster:
You win!

All:
It sucks to be you.

Brian:
I feel better now!

Gary Coleman:
Try having people stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
It gets old.

All:
It sucks to be you.
On Avenue Q.
(sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q.
(sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q.
(suck to be us)
But not when
We're together.
We're together
Here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too!
'Til our dreams
Come true,
We live on Avenue Q!

Princeton:
This is real life!

All:
We live on Avenue Q!

Nicky:
You're gonna love it.

All:
We live on Avenue Q!

Gary Coleman:
Here's your keys!

All:
Welcome to Avenue Q!


If You Were Gay

Rod:
Aah, an afternoon alone
with my favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940's.
No roomate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?

Nicky:
Oh, hi Rod!

Rod:
Hi Nicky.

Nicky:
Hey Rod, you'll never guess
what happened to me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me -

Rod:
That's very interesting.

Nicky:
He was beign real friendly,
and I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!

Rod:
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?

Nicky:
Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Rod...

Rod:
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some
gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.

Nicky:
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

Rod:
I don't want to talk about it, Nicky!
This conversation is over!!!

Nicky:
Yeah, but...

Rod:
OVER!!!

Nicky:
Well, okay, but just so you know -

If you were gay
That'd be okay.
I mean 'cause, hey,
I'd like you anyway.

Because you see,
If it were me,
I would feel free
To say that I was gay
(but I'm not gay.)

Rod:
Nicky, please! I am trying to read...
What?!

Nicky:
If you were queer

Rod:
Ah, Nicky

Nicky:
I'd still be here,

Rod:
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

Nicky:
Year after year

Rod:
Nicky!

Nicky:
Because you're dear to me.

Rod:
Argh!

Nicky:
And I know that you

Rod:
What?

Nicky:
Would accept me too,

Rod:
I would?

Nicky:
If I told you today,
"Hey! Guess what, I'm gay!"
(but I'm not gay.)
I'm happy
Just being with you.

Rod:
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

Nicky:
So what should it
Matter to me
What you do in bed
With guys?

Rod:
Nicky, that's GROSS!

Nicky:
No it's not!

If you were gay
I'd shout hooray!

Rod:
I am not listening!

Nicky:
And here I'd stay,

Rod:
La la la la la!

Nicky:
But I wouldn't get
In your way.

Rod:
Aaaahhh!

Nicky:
You can count on me
To always be
Beside yu every day,
To tell you it's okay,
You were just born that wy,
And, as they say,
It's in your DNA!
You're gay!

Rod:
I AM NOT GAY!

Nicky:
If you were gay.

Rod:
Argh!


Purpose

Princeton:
Purpose,
It's that little flame
That lights a fire
Under your ass.
Purpose,
It keeps you going strong
Like a car with a full
Tank of gas.
Everyone else has
A purpose
So what's mine?

Oh, look! Here's a penny!
It's from the year I was born!

It's a sign!
I don't know how I know,
But I'm gonna find my purpose.
I don't know where I'm gonna look,
But I'm gonna find my purpose.
Gotta find out,
Don't wanna wait!
Got to make sure that my
Life will be great!
Gotta find my pupose
Before it's too late.

Moving Boxes/Princeton:
He's/I'm gonna find his/my purpose

Princeton:
I'm gonna find my purpose
Could be far
Could be near
Could take a week,
A month, a year.

Moving Boxes:
Maybe more...

Princeton:
At a job
Or smoking grass
Maybe at a pottery class!

Moving Boxes:
Pottery class would be cool...

Princeton:
Could it be?

Moving Boxes/Princeton:
Yes it could!

Princeton:
Something's coming,

Moving Boxes/Princeton:
Something good!
You're/I'm gonna find your/my purpose

Princeton:
I'm gonna find my purpose
I'm gonna find it!
What will it be?
Where will it be?
My purpose in life is a mystery

Moving Boxes:
Purpose is a mystery...

Princeton:
Gotta find my purpose

Moving Boxes:
You're gonna find your purpose.

Princeton:
Gotta find me.
I'm gonna find my purpose!
Purpose purpose purpose!
Yeah yeah!
I gotta find me.


Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

Princeton:
Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

Kate Monster:
Sure!

Princeton:
Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

Kate Monster:
Uh huh.

Princeton:
Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
Right.

Princeton:
You're both Monsters.

Kate Monster:
Yeah.

Princeton:
Are you two related?

Kate Monster:
What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Princeton:
Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Kate Monster:
Well, it's a touchy subject.
No, not all Monsters are related.
What are you trying say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh?

Princeton:
No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
I guess that was a little racist.

Kate Monster:
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you're talking about the
sensitive subject of race.

Princeton:
Well, look who's talking!

Kate Monster:
What do you mean?

Princeton:
What about that special Monster School you told me about?

Kate Monster:
What about it?

Princeton:
Could someone like me go there?

Kate Monster:
No, we don't want people like you-

Princeton:
You see?!

You're a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Well, you're a little bit too.

Princeton:
I guess we're both a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

Princeton:
But I guess it's true.

Kate Monster:
Between me and you,
I think

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -

Kate Monster:
No!

Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Kate Monster:
Right!

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

Princeton:
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

Kate Monster:
Okay!

Princeton:
There's a plan going down and there's only
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

Kate Monster:
And a black guy!

Gary Coleman:
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

Kate Monster:
Uh...

Gary Coleman:
You were telling a black joke!

Princeton:
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

Gary Coleman:
I don't.

Princeton:
Well, of course you don't - you're black!
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

Gary Coleman:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

Princeton:
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Gary Coleman:
Well, damn, I guess you're right.

Kate Monster:
You're a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
Well, you're a little bit too.

Princeton:
We're all a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.

Princeton/Kate Monster:
We're glad you do.

Gary Coleman:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

Kate Monster:
All right!

Princeton:
All right!

Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white

All:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

Princeton:
Who?

Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.

Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.

Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

Princeton:
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

Brian:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Gary Coleman:
Racism!

Brian:
Cool.

Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!

Princeton:
What's that mean?

Brian:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don't laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?

Kate Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone's a little bit racist.

Brian:
I'm not!

Princeton:
Oh no?

Brian:
Nope!

How many Oriental wives
Have you got?

Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!

Princeton:
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!

Christmas Eve:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!

Brian:
I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

Christmas Eve:
And I love you.

Brian:
But you're racist, too.

Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I'm always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!

Princeton:
Me too!

Kate Monster:
Me too!

Gary Coleman:
I can't even get a taxi!

All:
Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!

Christmas Eve:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!


The Internet Is For Porn

Kate Monster:
Finally! I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself!
And I'm going to teach something relevant,
something modern- the Internet!

The internet is really
Really great.

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!

Kate Monster:
I got a fast connection
So I don't have to wait.

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!

Kate Monster:
There's always some new site.

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!

Kate Monster:
I browse all day and night.

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!

Kate Monster:
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!

Kate Monster:
Trekkie!

Trekkie Monster:
The internet is for porn!

Kate Monster:
Trekkie!

Trekkie Monster:
The internet is for porn!

Kate Monster:
What are you doing?

Trekkie Monster:
Why you think the net was born?
Porn! Porn! Porn!

Kate Monster:
Trekkie!

Trekkie Monster:
Oh, hello, Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
Trekkie, you are ruining my song.

Trekkie Monster:
Oh, me sorry. Me no mean to.

Kate Monster:
Well, if you wouldn't mind, please,
being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

Trekkie Monster:
Okie dokie.

Kate Monster:
Good!

I'm glad we have
This new technology.

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!
Oops.

Kate Monster:
Which gives us
Untold opportunity.

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!
Oops, sorry!

Kate Monster:
Right from your
Own desktop.

Trekkie Monster:
For -

Kate Monster:
You can research
Browse, and shop...

Trekkie Monster:
....

Kate Monster:
Until you've had enough
And you're ready to stop!

Trekkie Monster:
For porn!

Kate Monster:
Trekkie!

Trekkie Monster:
The internet is for porn!

Kate Monster:
No!

Trekkie Monster:
The internet is for porn!

Kate Monster:
Trekkie!

Trekkie Monster:
Me up all night
Honking me horn
To porn, porn, porn!

Kate Monster:
That's gross! You're a pervert!

Trekkie Monster:
Ahh, sticks and stones, Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
No, really, you're a pervert!
Normal people don't sit at home
and look at porn on the internet!

Trekkie Monster:
Ohhhhhh?

Kate Monster:
What?

Trekkie Monster:
You have no idea.
Ready, normal people?

Brian/Gary Coleman/Rod:
Ready!

Trekkie Monster:
Lemme hear it!

Guys:
The internet is for porn.

Princeton:
Sorry, Kate.

Guys:
The internet is for porn.

Princeton:
I masterbate!

Trekkie Monster:
All these guys
Unzip their flies for...

Guys:
Porn, porn, porn!

Kate Monster:
The internet is not for porn!

Trekkie Monster:
Porn, porn...

Kate Monster:
Hold on a second!

Trekkie Monster:
What?

Kate Monster:
Now, I happen to know for a fact, that you,
Rod, check your portfolio and trade stocks online.

Rod:
That's correct.

Kate Monster:
And Brian, you buy things off Amazon.com.

Brian:
Sure.

Kate Monster:
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay.

Gary Coleman:
Yes I do!

Kate Monster:
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card.

Princeton:
True.

Trekkie Monster:
But Kate, what you think he do after, hmmmmmm?

Princeton:
Yeah...

Kate Monster:
EWWW!

Guys:
The internet is for porn.

Kate Monster:
Gross!

Guys:
The internet is for porn.

Kate Monster:
I hate porn.

Trekkie Monster:
Grab your dick
And double click for...

Guys:
Porn!

Kate Monster:
I hate men.

Guys:
Porn! Porn!
Porn!

Kate Monster:
I'm leaving!

Guys:
Porn!

Kate Monster:
I hate the internet!

Guys:
The internet is for,
Internet is for,
The internet is for porn!


Mix Tape

Kate Monster:
Princeton.

He likes me.
I think he likes me.
Does does he 'like me' like me,
Like I like him?
Will we be friends,
Or something more?
I think he's interested,
But I'm not sure.

Come in!

Princeton:
Hiya, Kate!

Kate Monster:
Princeton! Hi!

Princeton:
Hi! Listen, I was going through my CDs
yesterday, and I kept coming across songs
I thouht you'd like, so I made you this tape.

Kate Monster:
Oh, that's so sweet!
Can I get you a drink? Or a snack?

Princeton:
Actually, do you mind if I use your bathroom?

Kate Monster:
Go right ahead.

Princeton:
Oh, thank you!

Kate Monster:
A mix tape.
He made a mix tape.
He was thinking of me,
Which shows he cares!
Sometimes when someone
Has a crush on you
They'll make you a mix tape
To give you a clue.
Let's see...
"You've Got A Friend"
"The Theme From 'Friends'"
"That's What Friends Are For"

Shit!
Oh, but look!

"A Whole New World"
"Kiss The Girl"
"My Cherie Amour"

Oh, Princeton! He does like me!

"I Am The Walrus"
"Fat Bottomed Girls"
"Yellow Submarine"
What does this mean?

Princeton:
Hey Kate, you might wanna not go in there for a while.

Kate Monster:
Princeton, thank you for this tape.
I was just looking at side A. Great songs!

Princeton:
Oh, well, did you get to side B yet?

Kate Monster:
No, not yet.

Princeton:
Oh, it's great! Check it out.

Kate Monster:
Yeah?

Princeton:
Right here...

Kate Monster:
"Stuck On You"

Princeton:
"Love Me Do"

Kate Monster:
"My Heart Will Go On"

I loved "Titanic"!

Princeton:
Uhh, it was all right.

"She's Got A Way"

Kate Monster:
"Yesterday"

Princeton:
"Goodnight Saigon!"

From the Russia concert!

Kate Monster:
Oh. Great.

"Through The Years"

Princeton:
"The Theme From 'Cheers'"

Kate Monster:
"Moving Right Along"

Nice tape.

Princeton:
Oh, there's one more...

"I Have To Say I Love You In A Song"

Kate Monster:
Princeton, that's so sweet!
I've never gotten such a nice present from a guy.

Princeton:
Awww. Well, I'm glad you like it.
But, I have to go now. I'm gonna make one
for Brian and Christmas Eve and Gary and
Nicky and Rod and Trekkie Monster and everyone!

Kate Monster:
Oh.

Princeton:
Oh, and, uh -

Kate Monster:
Yes?

Princeton:
What are you doing tonight?

Kate Monster:
Grading term papers. But it's kindergarten,
so they're very short. Why?

Princeton:
Everyone's going to hear this singer at the
Around The Clock Cafe. Do you want to go with me?

Kate Monster:
Like, a date?

Princeton:
Sure! A date. It'll be a blast.

Kate Monster:
I'd love to come!

Princeton:
Okay! Well, I'll see you then.

Kate Monster:
Okay!

Princeton:
Okay, bye.

Kate Monster:
Bye!
He likes me!


I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today

Brian:
I'm not wearing
Underwear today.
No, I'm not wearing
Underwear today.
Not that you prob'ly care
Much about my underwear,
Still, nonetheless
I gotta say -
That I'm not wearing
Underwear today!

Christmas Eve:
Get a job!

Brian:
Thank you - honey. So - here's the woman
you all came to see - "The Around The Clock
is proud to present - fresh from her world tour,
headlining in Amsterdam, Bangkok and Celebration, Florida -
please give a warm hand to the star of "Girls Gone Wild"
parts two, five and seven - Lucy The Slut!"


Special

Lucy:
I can make you feel
Special
When it sucks to be you.
Let me make you fel
Special
For an hour or two.

Your life's a routine
That repeats each day.
No one cares who you are
Or what you say.
And sometimes you feel
Like you're nobody,
But you can feel like
Somebody with me.

Princeton:
Wow.

Lucy:
Yeah, they're real.

When we're together
The Earth will shake
And the stars will fall
Into the sea.
So come on, baby
Let down your guard.
When your date's in the bathroom,
I'll slip you my card.
I can tell just by looking
That you've got it hard
For me!
For me!
For me! For me!
For me! For me!
I can tell just by looking
That you are especially
Hard for me!


You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want (When You're Makin' Love)
Bad Idea Bear #1:
Take her home!

Bad Idea Bear #2:
She's wasted!

Bad Idea Bears:
Yaaay!

Kate Monster:
My God, Princeton! Right there! Right there!
That's the spot - that's the spot - okay, a little lower -
okay, now to the left - no, my left - ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

Princeton:
Oh, my God, Kate, no one's ever touched me like this
before - you can't put your finger there -
OOH! PUT YOUR FINGER THERE!

Both:
Oh, yeah!

Gary Coleman:
You can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love

Bad Idea Bears:
When you're making love!

Gary Coleman:
You can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love!

Bad Idea Bears:
When you're making love!

Gary Coleman:
You can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love!

Bad Idea Bears:
When you're making love!

Gary Coleman:
You can be as loud as
The hell you want...

Kate Monster/Princeton:
Ahhhhhhh!

Gary Coleman:
Gary Coleman! You hear what?
Hell no, I won't tell them to quiet down!

Kate Monster:
Are we being too loud?

Princeton:
Yeah are we bothering someone?

Gary Coleman:
Oh, no, not at all, kids!
You keep doing what you're doing.

Bad Idea Bears:
Yeah! Louder!

Gary Coleman:
You're not allowed to be loud
At the library
At the art museum
Or at a play
But when you and your partner
Are doing the nasty
Don't behave like you're
At the ballet!
Cause you can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love

Bad Idea Bears:
Making sweet, sweet love

Gary Coleman:
You can be as loud as
The hell you want
When you're making love

Bad Idea Bears:
Loud as the hell!
Loud as the hell you want!

Gary Coleman:
Don't let the neighbors
Stop you from havin' fun,
They'll have peace and quiet
When you’re good and done.

All:
Be as loud as
The hell you want
When you’re making love!
Loud as the hell you want...

Kate Monster:
Faster, Princeton!

Christmas Eve:
Brian, slow down! This not a race!

All:
Loud as the hell you want...

Princeton:
Oh, yeah!

Brian:
Who’s your daddy?

Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!

All:
Loud as the hell you want...
Loud as the hell you want...

Gary Coleman:
Smack it and lick it and rub it and suck it!

All:
Loud as the hell you want...

Christmas Eve:
Yes! Work your mama!

All:
Loud as the hell you-

Kate Monster:
Oh yeah, that’s it!

Brian:
Ooh, babe!

Trekkie Monster:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

All:
Loud as the hell you-
Loud as the hell you-
Loud as the hell you-
Loud as the hell you-
Loud as the hell you-
Loud as the hell you-
Loud as the hell you-
Want!


Fantasies Come True
Rod:
It sure can get lonely at night. Nicky, you awake?

Nicky:
Is that a unicorn?

Rod:
Oh, he’s talking in his sleep again.

Nicky:
No, I’ll wear the purple shoes. Who painted the kitten?

Rod:
Maybe I should just shake him.

Nicky:
I love you, Rod.

Rod:
What did you say?

Nicky:
I love your little laugh.

Rod:
Nicky, are you awake?

Nicky:
Take off your shirt.

Rod:
Oh Nicholas - have you been shy all this time?
Have we been hiding from each other? I wonder -

All those nights
I lay in bed
Thoughts of you
Running through my head

Nicky:
I know - put my earmuffs on the cookie.

Rod:
But I never thought
The things in my head
Could really happen
In my bed.

Nicky:
You look like David Hasselhoff.

Rod:
All those years
I missed the signs,
Couldn’t read
Between the lines.
Who’d have thought
I would see the day
Where I’d hear you say
What I heard you say?
And now I find
What was always in my mind
Was in your mind, too.
Who knew?
Fantasies come true!
And now I see
That what I’ve always dreamed of
Was meant to be...
You and me, me and you!
Fantasies come true!

You and me lived in fantasy
But soon we’ll be a reality.

Princeton:
Kate, that was amazing.

Kate Monster:
You’re amazing.

Princeton:
I want you to have this. It’s a penny I carry
around with me for good luck. It’s from the year
I was born - see? Who knows, maybe it’ll bring
you good luck. It did for me - I found you.

I want you to know
The time that we’ve spent
How great it’s been
How much it’s meant.

Kate Monster:
Gosh, I don’t know
What to say.
I’m really glad
You feel that way.
‘Cause I’m afraid that
I like you more
Than I ever liked
Any guy before.

Rod/Kate
‘Cause now, my love,
I’m getting what
I’ve always been
Dreaming of.

Rod:
So are you!

Kate Monster:
Oh, baby!

Rod/Kate:
Fantasies come true!
And now I swear
That when you want me
I’m gonna be right there
To care for you

Kate Monster:
That’s what I’m gonna do.

Rod/Kate
And make your fantasies
Come true.

Rod:
Fantasies come true.

Nicky:
Hey, Rod, buddy. You were talking in your sleep.

Rod:
I thought you were talking in your sleep.

Nicky:
No, I just came to bed. You were dreaming, is all.

Rod:
Oh.

Nicky:
It sounded like a nice dream, though.

Rod:
Yes, it was a nice dream.

Nicky:
Good night!

Rod:
Good night, Nicky.