a life in the darkness`
i find myself less and less able to sleep at night on the nights when no substances effect my persona, when im drunk or high, no problem, soon as i lie down im gone, but other nights, like tonight, all i can do is lie awake, i need more to do, i need a second job, in the afternoon, some bullshit thing, like starbucks or advance auto parts or something, i can't really think of a reason why i chose to post something, but meh, here we are, so this x-mas should be interesting, only thing i get close to a break is i get x-mas day monday off, and new years eve, maybe new years day, im not sure yet, this coming friday is the x-mas party at work, then the subsequent after party, i get my bonus friday, hooray, and one more paycheck this year, which should give me the money necessary to buy some more serious presents for people, the new year holds many promises to be cashed in early on as well, second weekend in january is numbed 2007, which is looking good thus far, im so very greatful for scok's help in organizing it, it's been a lot less stressful, which is good, i've got a lot on my shoulders, also i've been promised by my parental units that i'll start going under the knife so as to make my teeth substantially more useful, and attractive, which is unquestionably an exciting prospect, i guess that's really about it, but the teeth thing is a major thing for me, and numbed is fairly major, but all the music i'll be playing for it is a matter of flow, so it's not like a big expense, or a ridiculous challenge, it's just kickass. also the coming year will harold one year working for acura, we'll see how im doing when that comes around, if im getting decent hours, i might just stay, if not i'll use my one week paid vacation to find another dealership, and then turn in my two weeks notice when i get back, i kind of hope that things improve at work, b/c i genuinely like most of the people i work with as people, and friends, and i don't want to go through all the trouble of moving my shit, learning a different brand of car, and trying to get in with the guys at another place.
i think i might have damaged my mind a little this last week, i don't mind the alteration of perspective, it's actually quite interesting, sort of a retrospective view of myself, but i still maintain a noteworthy amount of control, if anything i seem to have more control now than ever before, since it's retrospective, i see what in the future i will wish i had done, so im more likely to do it, it's been a good week, still can't sleep though, i need to get some health insurance, than i could get some Rx drugs for this madness, and be able to afford to get sick once in a while too...without excessive amounts of pot and beer, on a side note, creeper is really REALLY good stuff. anyway, time to give sleep another shot...
i think i might have damaged my mind a little this last week, i don't mind the alteration of perspective, it's actually quite interesting, sort of a retrospective view of myself, but i still maintain a noteworthy amount of control, if anything i seem to have more control now than ever before, since it's retrospective, i see what in the future i will wish i had done, so im more likely to do it, it's been a good week, still can't sleep though, i need to get some health insurance, than i could get some Rx drugs for this madness, and be able to afford to get sick once in a while too...without excessive amounts of pot and beer, on a side note, creeper is really REALLY good stuff. anyway, time to give sleep another shot...