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[Bleach] Setting Sun, Rising Moon (6/12)
Title: Setting Sun, Rising Moon (part 6 of 12)
Rating: PG for this chapter
Word Count: 4,036
Summary: Half a century ago, Ichigo became a substitute shinigami while he was still alive. At the end of that life, it's time to become the real thing, but with death comes unexpected challenges-not the least of which is that presented by seeing Rukia again for the first time in years.
Chapter six: On tactical movements, revisiting past triumphs and forging new relationships with old friends.
Spoilers: Assumes knowledge of all characters and events leading up to the winter war, but as this takes place in the future, historical references are largely creative inventions.
Many thanks to hallowd for stepping up to the plate with asskicking beta this chapter, along with the stupendous raynos and utenatai, who never fail to be awesome.
To chapter one
To chapter two
To chapter three
To chapter four
To chapter five
Setting Sun, Rising Moon: Chapter 6
Though it had taken her years and training to believe in herself, Rukia knew she was a fairly powerful shinigami in command of a considerable amount of reiatsu, not someone an enemy should take lightly. Yet at the moment, it was taking nearly all that spirit energy to keep herself from falling asleep from sheer boredom.
In theory, she should be enjoying herself, she thought as she finished filling out yet another evaluation form in triplicate. Young shinigami rising to their potential, pushing themselves to new heights and possibly being rewarded with a higher seat in the division. It could be an inspiring thing. She held no bitterness over the way she’d been artificially held back in past assessments of her own. It just made the experience of watching hard workers get what they deserved even sweeter.
If only there weren’t so much petty sniping and whining involved.
“Vice-Captain Kuchiki?” She looked up to see a currently unseated shinigami standing before her. By the looks of the bandages on his face and torso, he was likely to remain unseated. “I’m Takada Shiro. Um, I don’t want to bother you, but I think I should get to do my evaluation again. My opponent cheated-“
“Did not!” An angry-looking girl ran into the room. “Shiro, you said you were going to the fourth! Don’t listen to him, Vice-Captain, I kicked his ass.”
That was probably true, Rukia thought. “I’m afraid the evaluation schedule doesn’t allow time for repeats, Shiro,” she said. She stood and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, gently escorting him towards the door. “Don’t worry. It’s clear you fought hard, both of you. Captain Ukitake is the fairest captain in the Gotei Thirteen; you’ll both receive the positions you deserve.”
“You handled that well,” Ukitake remarked from the doorway to his private office. “I thought I might need to come sort that out, but I see my presence was unnecessary.”
”Never, sir.” She smiled. “All they want is to know they’re getting a fair chance, and that they’re worthy of consideration. It’s easy once you understand that.”
“I suppose so,” he chuckled. “The fairest captain, am I? That’s a lovely thing to say.”
She felt her face warm. “I only spoke my true opinion, sir.”
“Well, thank you,” he said. “We’re none of us so old we don’t like compliments once in a while. Let me know if you need any assistance with those forms, would you?”
“I have it under control, sir, but I will.”
Left to the silence and the almost meditative quality of paperwork, Rukia felt her mood settle. She was still tense, but less so, and she felt better than she had before Ichigo had spent his day with her division yesterday. Luckily, it had turned out to be more pleasant than she'd anticipated. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him, but she still hadn’t been sure how to act around him when just looking at him tied her stomach up in knots. Eating lunch together had eased things. Reminiscing about the old days, back when they were partners, back when they could count on each other. Lovers, then estranged acquaintances-only now was she starting to believe that she could remember how to be his friend.
“Oi, Rukia.”
She looked up and blinked, unsure if he was really there or if her mind was playing tricks on her. “Ichigo. What are you doing here?”
“Not much else to do. Thought I’d come see what was going on over here,” he said. “You looked pretty lost in thought just now.”
“Paperwork.” She held it up as proof. “It gets the best of all of us.”
“Yeah, true enough,” he said. “Hinamori and Hisagi are doing their best to drown me in it. `Preparation,’ they say.”
“Then shouldn’t you be with them at your division?”
"We already worked through lunch so we could leave at a decent hour today." He raised an eyebrow in a familiar cocky expression. “Trying to get rid of me?”
“If it means I can finish my work more efficiently, then yes.”
“Finish it tomorrow,” he said, jerking his head towards the window. “It’s quitting time.”
The sun was rather lower in the sky than she had realized. “The work needs to be done regardless of what time it is. You’ll learn that quickly when you’re a captain. You can’t just laze about.”
“I don’t want to laze about,” he said. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to train or something.”
“Train?”
“With swords and shit. You do still use yours, right?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You lack training partners? I should think the eleventh would be happy to help.”
“They would, except they’re busy with assessment too, only their version is them trying to kill each other. They’re keeping the fourth busy, though, so I guess that helps with their evaluations.” He shrugged. “It’s fun to help out with the advanced academy classes, but I was in the mood for someone with a little more experience.”
“And your own division?”
“These girls keep showing up at our training grounds, giggling and shit. It’s kinda freaking me out.” He looked uncomfortable. “Never mind, if it’s that much of a hassle for you I don’t want to bug you.”
“No, that’s all right.” She breathed in. Training was nothing special; they had sparred in the past, though not frequently, for it had always made more sense for them to work with each other than against each other. Friends, she reminded herself. It was normal for friends to spend time together. “I would be happy to assist you.”
“Great!” He smiled. Something about his grin must have been contagious, because she smiled back. She could do this. “You lead the way?”
Oh. “Our training grounds are all occupied right now, unfortunately,” she said. “Our division is very zealous. Many unseated shinigami are still training for tomorrow’s evaluations.”
“Damn.”
She smirked. “You’re that nervous about spectators? When did you get so shy?”
“I’m not!” He glared. “It’s just…the giggles. I can’t ever figure out what’s so funny. Shut up, you’d be creeped out too if it was you!”
She opened her mouth to make a smart remark, then closed it again. Despite all the years, Ichigo was still ignorant on the subject on women in some ways. But something inside her warned her off of touching the subject, even as a friend. “Then where do you want to go? Everyone is in the middle of assessments. It would be rude to intrude on another division’s facilities.”
He thought for a moment before his face lit up. “I know a place,” he said. “Get up. We’re taking a walk.”
Growing into old age and back again had done nothing to reduce the speed of Ichigo’s flash steps. Rukia let him lead the way until he stopped near an all too familiar landmark: Sokyoku Hill. Or rather, what had once been the execution ground. Today it was nothing more than a barren scrap of land beside a dead forest.
“Ichigo,” she said, eyes widening, “No one will be here, true, but I don’t think this is an appropriate…”
“Not here,” he said. He pointed down one side of the cliff. “Here.”
When she saw the size of the secret cave Ichigo had taken her to, her jaw dropped. It wasn’t just huge-even if its size was due to an optical illusion, it had to take up a large portion of the cliff-it was also well-lit through some agency she couldn’t detect. The barren landscape, pocked by rocky outcrops, looked all too familiar.
“This looks like-“
“Sandal Hat’s basement,” Ichigo said, looking pleased. “Glad it’s still here.”
“Urahara built this? And you’ve been here before?”
He nodded. “Yoruichi-san said he built it to be their playground when they were kids. This is where we trained the first time I came to Soul Society.”
Something clicked in her mind. “This is where you achieved bankai.”
“Yeah.” He strode towards the center of the room. “Renji too, technically. Although he did it a lot differently. I didn’t even see that happen; I was too busy trying not to get killed by my own zanpakuto.” He grinned at her, full of confident pride, and she wondered if he realized even now what a truly staggering accomplishment it had been, or if he still saw it as just another exceptional act he'd managed out of necessity. Part of her still felt humbled that he'd done it for her sake.
“I’m glad you didn’t,” she said, and left unspoken all the things she wanted to say.
“It was worth it, wasn’t it?”
She looked away, unsure if she could control her expression. “I suppose it was.” She felt too full of emotion for what should be a routine training session. Action was the best distraction. Without warning, she dropped to a crouch and lashed out with one leg, sweeping his legs out from under him. He landed on his ass with a whump.
“What the fuck-“
“You wanted to train.” She drew Shirayuki, leaned over him, and touched the point lightly to his throat. “So let’s train.” In one quick flash step, she was away. It only took him a second to recover and jump to his feet, freeing Zangetsu from his wrap. The race was on.
It was like a game of tag. Both of them carried their swords at the ready, but neither sought to strike, only to catch up to one another. Surprise had given her the initial advantage, though she wouldn't have a hope of outpacing him if he released his bankai. Even unreleased, every time she dropped out of flash step she saw him closing the distance between them, a manic grin on his face. She diverted her course to land behind a heap of boulders.
She paused, focusing her senses on Ichigo’s reiatsu, though he was out of sight. He landed in front of her, facing away. She thrust a leg out to kick him in the ass but he whirled around, catching her ankle in one hand. “Gotcha.”
He shoved. She fell. He hung around just long enough to catch her indignant expression before stepping out again.
Ichigo was enjoying this too much. She followed him, but he was going all out to evade her. Even worse, he'd begun circling her. “Bastard,” she muttered.
He wasn’t quite as smart as he thought, though-his movements were fast but predictable. “Dance, Shirayuki,” she whispered, taking aim. “Second dance-hakuren!”
The white wave shot past Ichigo. From this distance, she could hear a yelp of surprise. In two heartbeats, she stood beside him as he yanked at the corner of sleeve that had been trapped in the glacier. “Gotcha,” she chortled, just out of sword reach.
Ichigo grinned. With a mighty tug, he tore free and lunged, shoulder bared and blade at the ready.
It was strange to spar against an opponent wielding a weapon taller than she was, but there was something gratifying in the challenge, Rukia decided. If they were truly trying to take each other down, both would certainly use different strategies, but even just tagging each other prevented them from holding back too much. Ichigo had to be incredibly strong just to swing Zangetsu as fluidly as he did. Rukia knew this for a fact; his bared, muscled shoulder was evidence of it, and she’d had those arms around her often enough to know well their strength. But in this case, speed was very much on her side.
Height was on Ichigo’s. He’d clearly decided to press the advantage by striking out from above her, forcing her to deflect from below. She slid sideways, changing her angle of attack, but he recovered admirably. He struck again; she slid out again.
She frowned. Ichigo was picking up speed, forcing her to stay on the defensive. Determined to regain the edge, she jumped back, attempting to throw him off balance-and hit a rock wall.
“Ha!” He slammed Zangetsu into the wall beside her right shoulder blade-first, then shot out an arm on her other side. “Not so fast, Rukia!”
She nearly growled. “All right, you’ve got me. What now?”
“I dunno. What do I win?” He leaned in. Suddenly the world seemed to go still even as her insides turned upside down. He was too close, invading her personal space. She wanted to shove him away and continue sparring, but her arms and legs wouldn’t listen to her. His smirk slipped away to some expression she couldn't read, and for a heartbeat, they stared at each other.
Rukia stomped on his foot hard. “Ow!” he yelled with bewildered affront. “Dammit, what was that for?”
“You let your guard down again,” she said. She pointed Shirayuki at him. “Ready to continue?”
He pulled Zangetsu from the rock. “Only if you are.”
The strange moment passed, and she breathed easier when Ichigo didn't question her temporary paralysis. She put him on the defensive until he returned the favor-back and forth, exchanging the lead until they were both sweating. Neither drew blood until Rukia, growing tired, zigged when she should have zagged and received a shallow slice on the arm for her efforts.
Ichigo lowered his sword immediately. “Shit, sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She pressed her hand to the cut. It barely hurt, but it was already starting to bleed annoyingly. “You can’t tell me no one bleeds when you train with the eleventh.”
“No...but that’s different.”
“If you think I’m worthy of any less rigorous training, Ichigo, I will have to hurt you.”
“Of course not,” he said. “This does seem like a good time for a break, though. Here, let me help you with that.”
“You carry extra bandages?”
“No-come on, over this way.”
The hot spring was hidden behind a large outcrop of rock. Rukia never would have noticed it if Ichigo hadn’t known exactly where to go. He crouched by the water on a flat rock, motioning for her to join him. “This will help.” He slid her sleeve above the cut with one hand and scooped up some water with the other, then pressed that hand against the wound.
“I’m not sure how that will-“ she broke off. She felt a tingling where the water touched the broken skin. Ichigo rubbed her skin gently in a way that set off an entirely different tingle. Half of her wanted to pull away from his hand and the entirely unfriendly feelings it was stirring in her, but the rest forced her to stay completely still so he wouldn't stop.
A few moments later, he removed his hand. “There. All better.”
The cut was completely gone, though she hadn't even noticed it healing. “That’s amazing,” she said, forcing her mind away from an unwanted line of thought. “How does it work?”
“No idea.” He shrugged. “It helped when I was training. The old man here really beat the shit out of me.” He smiled fondly at his sword.
Rukia sat back and looked around them. “Strange that I never asked you about the specifics of your training,” she said. “I suppose we had too much on our minds after Aizen escaped.”
He shrugged. “Not a big deal anyway. I just did what I had to do.”
“Those were harder times,” she said. “A captain’s job isn’t simple, but it’s much better now than during wartime.”
“I think I can handle it,” he said. “I mean, I can’t do a worse job than Aizen, right?” She snorted. “And I’ve got some pretty good role models on how not to fuck up. That should help. Even if they are kinda crazy.”
“I’m sure Hinamori would be delighted to hear that.”
“I’m not talking about Hinamori.”
She looked sharply at him, but his expression was open and guileless. Something in the pit of her stomach sunk; his intent was to be complimentary, she knew, but she didn't want to think about herself as a role model for Ichigo.
Not when she knew she wanted to be more. “I should go,” she said quietly.
“Now?” He looked surprised. “I was just getting my second wind.”
“There’s always the eleventh.” She stood. “I’m sorry, but there really is a great deal more work for me to do. But thank you for the exercise. It was…pleasant.”
She left quickly instead of waiting for Ichigo to accompany her. If she waited, he might notice how fiercely she was concentrating on not trembling.
Damn her foolish emotions! She’d thought she’d remembered how to be his friend-no, she had. It was just that having him so near her, having his hand on her, reminded her of other things as well. Things she couldn’t get out of her mind now.
Division headquarters were still buzzing with activity when she returned. Some were still practicing for evaluations, but a squad of armed shinigami surrounded Captain Ukitake in the main office.
“Rukia,” he greeted her. “Have you seen Kiyone? There have been reports of a Huge hollow. I wanted her to take squad nine out to get more field experience.”
“I will take them,” she volunteered.
Ukitake looked surprised. “Are you sure? You’ve been working all day. You’re more than entitled to a break.”
“No, sir. I’m fine.”
“All right then.” He nodded to the squad. “Vice-Captain Kuchiki is in charge.”
A mission was usually the perfect thing to clear her mind. Under normal circumstances, it would have been. But under normal circumstances, she would have known better than lead a rookie squad while distracted.
Under normal circumstances, they would only be hunting an average hollow, not one that was as devilishly fast as it was large, separating Shinnosuke from the squad and lashing out with pronged tentacles. She wouldn’t have been caught off guard and would have been able to choose a better plan than throwing herself in front of the wide-eyed boy.
She would have been able to do something besides feel a painful crunch as the hollow grabbed her by the leg and squeezed, then hear a whistling of air rushing past her head before everything went black.
33 years ago
Division Thirteen had always been considered one of the most dignified divisions, based largely on the reputation of its captain and the calm manner in which he ran it. Some deemed the division boring. All would have been surprised at the intense revelry that followed Kuchiki Rukia’s official promotion to vice-captain.
“I chose a vice-captain only when I found someone I could trust implicitly to do the job well,” Ukitake had told her just after the ceremony, beaming at her. “Kaien would be proud of you.” She had smiled back, the pain of old wounds only twisting her heart a little.
Rukia still felt a little dazed, more from the honor than the drink. She had been careful not to overindulge; this was a night she wanted to remember, though she did permit herself a few more sips of sake than her brother would have considered proper. She was content to step back and watch her comrades party themselves out for her sake.
Currently, she was watching them from the roof of one of the division’s smaller storage buildings, just outside the courtyard's boundaries. She was winding down for the night, though she wasn’t yet ready to sleep. The vice-captain’s badge on her left arm, firmly tied there by Captain Ukitake, was a weight she wanted to savor. She wasn’t sure she would want to take it off when she did make it to bed. When she had shown it to her brother, who was one of the only non-thirteenth division members invited to the party, he had smiled-just for a moment before returning to his normal stoic expression, but she had seen pride there.
There was one person who hadn’t seen it that she wished she could show, but she pushed those thoughts out of her mind. Whatever regrets she may have had, she wasn’t going to let them rule her now.
Soft steps on the roof alerted her to the presence of another, but the reiatsu that came with it was as familiar as her own. “Nice party,” Renji said, settling down beside her.
She nodded. “They do more than they should.”
He nudged her with his elbow. “Hey. Don’t start talking about how you don’t deserve it. This is your day.”
“I wasn’t going to.” She cast an amused glance his way. “I simply referred to their ill-advised decision to drink so much of Captain Ukitake’s private liquor stock. It is very old, and quite potent.”
“Ouch.” Renji winced. “That’s gonna hurt in the morning.”
“Brave shinigami of the thirteenth division know well the battles they face.”
He shot her a look. “You’re not drunk, are you?”
She shook her head. “I am almost entirely sober.”
“Almost?”
“This is my party, Renji.”
“Yeah, yeah. Good.” If she’d been paying more attention, she might have wondered about the way he drew his shoulders together, like he was working himself up to something. “I was thinking we should celebrate sometime soon, if you want.”
“That would be nice.”
“My treat.”
“So they do have manners in the ninth division.”
“There’s a nice restaurant in north first district a lot of the other captains like to go to. They serve those little shell thingies. Really good.”
She nodded. “I have been there with my brother.”
Renji reached out to take her hand in his. He stroked the back of it with his thumb. “I was thinking it could just be you and me,” he said quietly.
It was only her iron control as a Kuchiki that allowed her to look at him with eyes just a little wider than normal. “Renji…”
“You know I’m really proud of you,” he said. “You earned this. You should be happy. And I-I’d really like the chance to make you happy.”
There was not one single thing Rukia could think of to say that would be an adequate response. Renji looked at her intently, and began leaning closer. When she neither pulled back nor moved forward, he closed the rest of the distance, and kissed her softly.
It was another few moments before she gathered her wits about her, but by then Renji was already pulling away. He tensed, and she knew that she had the power to shatter him if she said the wrong thing now. “Renji, this is…I’m not sure what to say.”
“I ain’t gonna push,” he said. “Take some time to think, if you need to. We’ve been friends a long time, you and me. Whatever you say, that ain’t gonna change.”
She nodded automatically. “I do. Need time.”
“Figured you would.” He squeezed her hand once and stood. “I need to go find Ikkaku for the drink I owe him,” he said. “You know how to find me when you’re ready.”
He couldn’t have read her more clearly. She watched him go, then stood herself, suddenly unable to be still.
If she were honest with herself, she would admit that his words, while not expected, were not a complete surprise. This was Renji. No one knew her better or understood her quite so well as he did. And the way he’d looked at her…
She shivered. It had been a long time since someone had looked at her like that. And it wasn’t likely that the last person who had would ever look at her that way again.
So why should she hesitate to accept Renji’s offer? He was saying exactly what she needed to hear, and she knew that he wasn’t feeding her lines, either. He meant it. And she had always loved him-she did love him. But something kept her from chasing after him and telling him yes right now.
I need to let go of Ichigo.
It was foolish. It was unnecessary. Seeing him one more time wouldn’t change anything between them. But if she wanted to give Renji an honest answer, she had to take care of unfinished business.
Rukia made her way to the gate to the living world.
--
Next chapter: "Is there something going on between Renji and Rukia?"
Bonus musical gift #2! I think I listened to this song more than any other while writing Rukia's sections. It's the best post-breakup, "want to be rid of these feelings but can't be" song ever.
Imogen Heap - The Walk
It's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
So that makes it all your fault
Rating: PG for this chapter
Word Count: 4,036
Summary: Half a century ago, Ichigo became a substitute shinigami while he was still alive. At the end of that life, it's time to become the real thing, but with death comes unexpected challenges-not the least of which is that presented by seeing Rukia again for the first time in years.
Chapter six: On tactical movements, revisiting past triumphs and forging new relationships with old friends.
Spoilers: Assumes knowledge of all characters and events leading up to the winter war, but as this takes place in the future, historical references are largely creative inventions.
Many thanks to hallowd for stepping up to the plate with asskicking beta this chapter, along with the stupendous raynos and utenatai, who never fail to be awesome.
To chapter one
To chapter two
To chapter three
To chapter four
To chapter five
Setting Sun, Rising Moon: Chapter 6
Though it had taken her years and training to believe in herself, Rukia knew she was a fairly powerful shinigami in command of a considerable amount of reiatsu, not someone an enemy should take lightly. Yet at the moment, it was taking nearly all that spirit energy to keep herself from falling asleep from sheer boredom.
In theory, she should be enjoying herself, she thought as she finished filling out yet another evaluation form in triplicate. Young shinigami rising to their potential, pushing themselves to new heights and possibly being rewarded with a higher seat in the division. It could be an inspiring thing. She held no bitterness over the way she’d been artificially held back in past assessments of her own. It just made the experience of watching hard workers get what they deserved even sweeter.
If only there weren’t so much petty sniping and whining involved.
“Vice-Captain Kuchiki?” She looked up to see a currently unseated shinigami standing before her. By the looks of the bandages on his face and torso, he was likely to remain unseated. “I’m Takada Shiro. Um, I don’t want to bother you, but I think I should get to do my evaluation again. My opponent cheated-“
“Did not!” An angry-looking girl ran into the room. “Shiro, you said you were going to the fourth! Don’t listen to him, Vice-Captain, I kicked his ass.”
That was probably true, Rukia thought. “I’m afraid the evaluation schedule doesn’t allow time for repeats, Shiro,” she said. She stood and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, gently escorting him towards the door. “Don’t worry. It’s clear you fought hard, both of you. Captain Ukitake is the fairest captain in the Gotei Thirteen; you’ll both receive the positions you deserve.”
“You handled that well,” Ukitake remarked from the doorway to his private office. “I thought I might need to come sort that out, but I see my presence was unnecessary.”
”Never, sir.” She smiled. “All they want is to know they’re getting a fair chance, and that they’re worthy of consideration. It’s easy once you understand that.”
“I suppose so,” he chuckled. “The fairest captain, am I? That’s a lovely thing to say.”
She felt her face warm. “I only spoke my true opinion, sir.”
“Well, thank you,” he said. “We’re none of us so old we don’t like compliments once in a while. Let me know if you need any assistance with those forms, would you?”
“I have it under control, sir, but I will.”
Left to the silence and the almost meditative quality of paperwork, Rukia felt her mood settle. She was still tense, but less so, and she felt better than she had before Ichigo had spent his day with her division yesterday. Luckily, it had turned out to be more pleasant than she'd anticipated. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him, but she still hadn’t been sure how to act around him when just looking at him tied her stomach up in knots. Eating lunch together had eased things. Reminiscing about the old days, back when they were partners, back when they could count on each other. Lovers, then estranged acquaintances-only now was she starting to believe that she could remember how to be his friend.
“Oi, Rukia.”
She looked up and blinked, unsure if he was really there or if her mind was playing tricks on her. “Ichigo. What are you doing here?”
“Not much else to do. Thought I’d come see what was going on over here,” he said. “You looked pretty lost in thought just now.”
“Paperwork.” She held it up as proof. “It gets the best of all of us.”
“Yeah, true enough,” he said. “Hinamori and Hisagi are doing their best to drown me in it. `Preparation,’ they say.”
“Then shouldn’t you be with them at your division?”
"We already worked through lunch so we could leave at a decent hour today." He raised an eyebrow in a familiar cocky expression. “Trying to get rid of me?”
“If it means I can finish my work more efficiently, then yes.”
“Finish it tomorrow,” he said, jerking his head towards the window. “It’s quitting time.”
The sun was rather lower in the sky than she had realized. “The work needs to be done regardless of what time it is. You’ll learn that quickly when you’re a captain. You can’t just laze about.”
“I don’t want to laze about,” he said. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to train or something.”
“Train?”
“With swords and shit. You do still use yours, right?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You lack training partners? I should think the eleventh would be happy to help.”
“They would, except they’re busy with assessment too, only their version is them trying to kill each other. They’re keeping the fourth busy, though, so I guess that helps with their evaluations.” He shrugged. “It’s fun to help out with the advanced academy classes, but I was in the mood for someone with a little more experience.”
“And your own division?”
“These girls keep showing up at our training grounds, giggling and shit. It’s kinda freaking me out.” He looked uncomfortable. “Never mind, if it’s that much of a hassle for you I don’t want to bug you.”
“No, that’s all right.” She breathed in. Training was nothing special; they had sparred in the past, though not frequently, for it had always made more sense for them to work with each other than against each other. Friends, she reminded herself. It was normal for friends to spend time together. “I would be happy to assist you.”
“Great!” He smiled. Something about his grin must have been contagious, because she smiled back. She could do this. “You lead the way?”
Oh. “Our training grounds are all occupied right now, unfortunately,” she said. “Our division is very zealous. Many unseated shinigami are still training for tomorrow’s evaluations.”
“Damn.”
She smirked. “You’re that nervous about spectators? When did you get so shy?”
“I’m not!” He glared. “It’s just…the giggles. I can’t ever figure out what’s so funny. Shut up, you’d be creeped out too if it was you!”
She opened her mouth to make a smart remark, then closed it again. Despite all the years, Ichigo was still ignorant on the subject on women in some ways. But something inside her warned her off of touching the subject, even as a friend. “Then where do you want to go? Everyone is in the middle of assessments. It would be rude to intrude on another division’s facilities.”
He thought for a moment before his face lit up. “I know a place,” he said. “Get up. We’re taking a walk.”
Growing into old age and back again had done nothing to reduce the speed of Ichigo’s flash steps. Rukia let him lead the way until he stopped near an all too familiar landmark: Sokyoku Hill. Or rather, what had once been the execution ground. Today it was nothing more than a barren scrap of land beside a dead forest.
“Ichigo,” she said, eyes widening, “No one will be here, true, but I don’t think this is an appropriate…”
“Not here,” he said. He pointed down one side of the cliff. “Here.”
When she saw the size of the secret cave Ichigo had taken her to, her jaw dropped. It wasn’t just huge-even if its size was due to an optical illusion, it had to take up a large portion of the cliff-it was also well-lit through some agency she couldn’t detect. The barren landscape, pocked by rocky outcrops, looked all too familiar.
“This looks like-“
“Sandal Hat’s basement,” Ichigo said, looking pleased. “Glad it’s still here.”
“Urahara built this? And you’ve been here before?”
He nodded. “Yoruichi-san said he built it to be their playground when they were kids. This is where we trained the first time I came to Soul Society.”
Something clicked in her mind. “This is where you achieved bankai.”
“Yeah.” He strode towards the center of the room. “Renji too, technically. Although he did it a lot differently. I didn’t even see that happen; I was too busy trying not to get killed by my own zanpakuto.” He grinned at her, full of confident pride, and she wondered if he realized even now what a truly staggering accomplishment it had been, or if he still saw it as just another exceptional act he'd managed out of necessity. Part of her still felt humbled that he'd done it for her sake.
“I’m glad you didn’t,” she said, and left unspoken all the things she wanted to say.
“It was worth it, wasn’t it?”
She looked away, unsure if she could control her expression. “I suppose it was.” She felt too full of emotion for what should be a routine training session. Action was the best distraction. Without warning, she dropped to a crouch and lashed out with one leg, sweeping his legs out from under him. He landed on his ass with a whump.
“What the fuck-“
“You wanted to train.” She drew Shirayuki, leaned over him, and touched the point lightly to his throat. “So let’s train.” In one quick flash step, she was away. It only took him a second to recover and jump to his feet, freeing Zangetsu from his wrap. The race was on.
It was like a game of tag. Both of them carried their swords at the ready, but neither sought to strike, only to catch up to one another. Surprise had given her the initial advantage, though she wouldn't have a hope of outpacing him if he released his bankai. Even unreleased, every time she dropped out of flash step she saw him closing the distance between them, a manic grin on his face. She diverted her course to land behind a heap of boulders.
She paused, focusing her senses on Ichigo’s reiatsu, though he was out of sight. He landed in front of her, facing away. She thrust a leg out to kick him in the ass but he whirled around, catching her ankle in one hand. “Gotcha.”
He shoved. She fell. He hung around just long enough to catch her indignant expression before stepping out again.
Ichigo was enjoying this too much. She followed him, but he was going all out to evade her. Even worse, he'd begun circling her. “Bastard,” she muttered.
He wasn’t quite as smart as he thought, though-his movements were fast but predictable. “Dance, Shirayuki,” she whispered, taking aim. “Second dance-hakuren!”
The white wave shot past Ichigo. From this distance, she could hear a yelp of surprise. In two heartbeats, she stood beside him as he yanked at the corner of sleeve that had been trapped in the glacier. “Gotcha,” she chortled, just out of sword reach.
Ichigo grinned. With a mighty tug, he tore free and lunged, shoulder bared and blade at the ready.
It was strange to spar against an opponent wielding a weapon taller than she was, but there was something gratifying in the challenge, Rukia decided. If they were truly trying to take each other down, both would certainly use different strategies, but even just tagging each other prevented them from holding back too much. Ichigo had to be incredibly strong just to swing Zangetsu as fluidly as he did. Rukia knew this for a fact; his bared, muscled shoulder was evidence of it, and she’d had those arms around her often enough to know well their strength. But in this case, speed was very much on her side.
Height was on Ichigo’s. He’d clearly decided to press the advantage by striking out from above her, forcing her to deflect from below. She slid sideways, changing her angle of attack, but he recovered admirably. He struck again; she slid out again.
She frowned. Ichigo was picking up speed, forcing her to stay on the defensive. Determined to regain the edge, she jumped back, attempting to throw him off balance-and hit a rock wall.
“Ha!” He slammed Zangetsu into the wall beside her right shoulder blade-first, then shot out an arm on her other side. “Not so fast, Rukia!”
She nearly growled. “All right, you’ve got me. What now?”
“I dunno. What do I win?” He leaned in. Suddenly the world seemed to go still even as her insides turned upside down. He was too close, invading her personal space. She wanted to shove him away and continue sparring, but her arms and legs wouldn’t listen to her. His smirk slipped away to some expression she couldn't read, and for a heartbeat, they stared at each other.
Rukia stomped on his foot hard. “Ow!” he yelled with bewildered affront. “Dammit, what was that for?”
“You let your guard down again,” she said. She pointed Shirayuki at him. “Ready to continue?”
He pulled Zangetsu from the rock. “Only if you are.”
The strange moment passed, and she breathed easier when Ichigo didn't question her temporary paralysis. She put him on the defensive until he returned the favor-back and forth, exchanging the lead until they were both sweating. Neither drew blood until Rukia, growing tired, zigged when she should have zagged and received a shallow slice on the arm for her efforts.
Ichigo lowered his sword immediately. “Shit, sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She pressed her hand to the cut. It barely hurt, but it was already starting to bleed annoyingly. “You can’t tell me no one bleeds when you train with the eleventh.”
“No...but that’s different.”
“If you think I’m worthy of any less rigorous training, Ichigo, I will have to hurt you.”
“Of course not,” he said. “This does seem like a good time for a break, though. Here, let me help you with that.”
“You carry extra bandages?”
“No-come on, over this way.”
The hot spring was hidden behind a large outcrop of rock. Rukia never would have noticed it if Ichigo hadn’t known exactly where to go. He crouched by the water on a flat rock, motioning for her to join him. “This will help.” He slid her sleeve above the cut with one hand and scooped up some water with the other, then pressed that hand against the wound.
“I’m not sure how that will-“ she broke off. She felt a tingling where the water touched the broken skin. Ichigo rubbed her skin gently in a way that set off an entirely different tingle. Half of her wanted to pull away from his hand and the entirely unfriendly feelings it was stirring in her, but the rest forced her to stay completely still so he wouldn't stop.
A few moments later, he removed his hand. “There. All better.”
The cut was completely gone, though she hadn't even noticed it healing. “That’s amazing,” she said, forcing her mind away from an unwanted line of thought. “How does it work?”
“No idea.” He shrugged. “It helped when I was training. The old man here really beat the shit out of me.” He smiled fondly at his sword.
Rukia sat back and looked around them. “Strange that I never asked you about the specifics of your training,” she said. “I suppose we had too much on our minds after Aizen escaped.”
He shrugged. “Not a big deal anyway. I just did what I had to do.”
“Those were harder times,” she said. “A captain’s job isn’t simple, but it’s much better now than during wartime.”
“I think I can handle it,” he said. “I mean, I can’t do a worse job than Aizen, right?” She snorted. “And I’ve got some pretty good role models on how not to fuck up. That should help. Even if they are kinda crazy.”
“I’m sure Hinamori would be delighted to hear that.”
“I’m not talking about Hinamori.”
She looked sharply at him, but his expression was open and guileless. Something in the pit of her stomach sunk; his intent was to be complimentary, she knew, but she didn't want to think about herself as a role model for Ichigo.
Not when she knew she wanted to be more. “I should go,” she said quietly.
“Now?” He looked surprised. “I was just getting my second wind.”
“There’s always the eleventh.” She stood. “I’m sorry, but there really is a great deal more work for me to do. But thank you for the exercise. It was…pleasant.”
She left quickly instead of waiting for Ichigo to accompany her. If she waited, he might notice how fiercely she was concentrating on not trembling.
Damn her foolish emotions! She’d thought she’d remembered how to be his friend-no, she had. It was just that having him so near her, having his hand on her, reminded her of other things as well. Things she couldn’t get out of her mind now.
Division headquarters were still buzzing with activity when she returned. Some were still practicing for evaluations, but a squad of armed shinigami surrounded Captain Ukitake in the main office.
“Rukia,” he greeted her. “Have you seen Kiyone? There have been reports of a Huge hollow. I wanted her to take squad nine out to get more field experience.”
“I will take them,” she volunteered.
Ukitake looked surprised. “Are you sure? You’ve been working all day. You’re more than entitled to a break.”
“No, sir. I’m fine.”
“All right then.” He nodded to the squad. “Vice-Captain Kuchiki is in charge.”
A mission was usually the perfect thing to clear her mind. Under normal circumstances, it would have been. But under normal circumstances, she would have known better than lead a rookie squad while distracted.
Under normal circumstances, they would only be hunting an average hollow, not one that was as devilishly fast as it was large, separating Shinnosuke from the squad and lashing out with pronged tentacles. She wouldn’t have been caught off guard and would have been able to choose a better plan than throwing herself in front of the wide-eyed boy.
She would have been able to do something besides feel a painful crunch as the hollow grabbed her by the leg and squeezed, then hear a whistling of air rushing past her head before everything went black.
33 years ago
Division Thirteen had always been considered one of the most dignified divisions, based largely on the reputation of its captain and the calm manner in which he ran it. Some deemed the division boring. All would have been surprised at the intense revelry that followed Kuchiki Rukia’s official promotion to vice-captain.
“I chose a vice-captain only when I found someone I could trust implicitly to do the job well,” Ukitake had told her just after the ceremony, beaming at her. “Kaien would be proud of you.” She had smiled back, the pain of old wounds only twisting her heart a little.
Rukia still felt a little dazed, more from the honor than the drink. She had been careful not to overindulge; this was a night she wanted to remember, though she did permit herself a few more sips of sake than her brother would have considered proper. She was content to step back and watch her comrades party themselves out for her sake.
Currently, she was watching them from the roof of one of the division’s smaller storage buildings, just outside the courtyard's boundaries. She was winding down for the night, though she wasn’t yet ready to sleep. The vice-captain’s badge on her left arm, firmly tied there by Captain Ukitake, was a weight she wanted to savor. She wasn’t sure she would want to take it off when she did make it to bed. When she had shown it to her brother, who was one of the only non-thirteenth division members invited to the party, he had smiled-just for a moment before returning to his normal stoic expression, but she had seen pride there.
There was one person who hadn’t seen it that she wished she could show, but she pushed those thoughts out of her mind. Whatever regrets she may have had, she wasn’t going to let them rule her now.
Soft steps on the roof alerted her to the presence of another, but the reiatsu that came with it was as familiar as her own. “Nice party,” Renji said, settling down beside her.
She nodded. “They do more than they should.”
He nudged her with his elbow. “Hey. Don’t start talking about how you don’t deserve it. This is your day.”
“I wasn’t going to.” She cast an amused glance his way. “I simply referred to their ill-advised decision to drink so much of Captain Ukitake’s private liquor stock. It is very old, and quite potent.”
“Ouch.” Renji winced. “That’s gonna hurt in the morning.”
“Brave shinigami of the thirteenth division know well the battles they face.”
He shot her a look. “You’re not drunk, are you?”
She shook her head. “I am almost entirely sober.”
“Almost?”
“This is my party, Renji.”
“Yeah, yeah. Good.” If she’d been paying more attention, she might have wondered about the way he drew his shoulders together, like he was working himself up to something. “I was thinking we should celebrate sometime soon, if you want.”
“That would be nice.”
“My treat.”
“So they do have manners in the ninth division.”
“There’s a nice restaurant in north first district a lot of the other captains like to go to. They serve those little shell thingies. Really good.”
She nodded. “I have been there with my brother.”
Renji reached out to take her hand in his. He stroked the back of it with his thumb. “I was thinking it could just be you and me,” he said quietly.
It was only her iron control as a Kuchiki that allowed her to look at him with eyes just a little wider than normal. “Renji…”
“You know I’m really proud of you,” he said. “You earned this. You should be happy. And I-I’d really like the chance to make you happy.”
There was not one single thing Rukia could think of to say that would be an adequate response. Renji looked at her intently, and began leaning closer. When she neither pulled back nor moved forward, he closed the rest of the distance, and kissed her softly.
It was another few moments before she gathered her wits about her, but by then Renji was already pulling away. He tensed, and she knew that she had the power to shatter him if she said the wrong thing now. “Renji, this is…I’m not sure what to say.”
“I ain’t gonna push,” he said. “Take some time to think, if you need to. We’ve been friends a long time, you and me. Whatever you say, that ain’t gonna change.”
She nodded automatically. “I do. Need time.”
“Figured you would.” He squeezed her hand once and stood. “I need to go find Ikkaku for the drink I owe him,” he said. “You know how to find me when you’re ready.”
He couldn’t have read her more clearly. She watched him go, then stood herself, suddenly unable to be still.
If she were honest with herself, she would admit that his words, while not expected, were not a complete surprise. This was Renji. No one knew her better or understood her quite so well as he did. And the way he’d looked at her…
She shivered. It had been a long time since someone had looked at her like that. And it wasn’t likely that the last person who had would ever look at her that way again.
So why should she hesitate to accept Renji’s offer? He was saying exactly what she needed to hear, and she knew that he wasn’t feeding her lines, either. He meant it. And she had always loved him-she did love him. But something kept her from chasing after him and telling him yes right now.
I need to let go of Ichigo.
It was foolish. It was unnecessary. Seeing him one more time wouldn’t change anything between them. But if she wanted to give Renji an honest answer, she had to take care of unfinished business.
Rukia made her way to the gate to the living world.
--
Next chapter: "Is there something going on between Renji and Rukia?"
Bonus musical gift #2! I think I listened to this song more than any other while writing Rukia's sections. It's the best post-breakup, "want to be rid of these feelings but can't be" song ever.
Imogen Heap - The Walk
It's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
So that makes it all your fault