Parvati....
this is in response to the second paragraph of the most recent post in your journal. i am sorry i didn't respond sooner, i wanted to think it through and compose a worthy reply.
thank you for the apology, dear Pav. i would like to take the opportunity to apoligise again as well. i think we both were poor spouses to each other, because it happened so suddenly and we didn't know how to deal with it. we had barely even established a relationship beyond basic friendship and all of a sudden we thought we were committed for life.
i know i was difficult, and that i initially wasn't able to accommodate your needs. and i am sure my reactions to the situation hurt you at times, because i wasn't always as sensitive as i typically attempt to be. when i expressed frustration over suddenly being married to you it wasn't because of you, it was because we hadn't been given the chance to make it there on our own. now from what i have experienced during the time we thought we were husband and wife, i think we could very well have ended up together after all. it was just hard to have to skip over that much of a relationship. i didn't stop to think that for generations, our families have lived happily with arranged marriages, in which they often hadn't even met the person before the wedding. but that is no longer typical, so i reacted poorly, without thinking of how you might negatively interpret my hesitancy.
maybe this separation will prove helpful, and we can reconnect on another level? i do miss you. i didn't know what to do with myself when you disappeared that day. as shocked as i was about a year ago when we "were married," it was so much worse to find you suddenly gone, with no explanation. it felt like part of me had been cut off. i didn't know if you had run away from me like in the past, or if something bad had happened, and i was terrified.
i still blame myself for everything that happened, both that day you were taken away and the events leading up to it. and i am angry i haven't been able to find you. obviously this isn't a fairy tale, because while you may be a princess, i am no handsome prince, and i have not rescued you from your prison.
i feel as though this past year has been a complete waste. i have done nothing worth mentioning, and i have failed everything important i have attempted. i wish i could strike it out and we could just start over. but for now, i am going to go to Ginny, Colin, and Harry's place. I've been avoiding it thus far, just wandering around by myself wallowing in my failures, but i need to be with my friends now and recuperate.
i'm sorry about everything. i certainly forgive you, and hope you can forgive me. perhaps we can start from the beginning once you return and take things as they were meant to go.
thank you for the apology, dear Pav. i would like to take the opportunity to apoligise again as well. i think we both were poor spouses to each other, because it happened so suddenly and we didn't know how to deal with it. we had barely even established a relationship beyond basic friendship and all of a sudden we thought we were committed for life.
i know i was difficult, and that i initially wasn't able to accommodate your needs. and i am sure my reactions to the situation hurt you at times, because i wasn't always as sensitive as i typically attempt to be. when i expressed frustration over suddenly being married to you it wasn't because of you, it was because we hadn't been given the chance to make it there on our own. now from what i have experienced during the time we thought we were husband and wife, i think we could very well have ended up together after all. it was just hard to have to skip over that much of a relationship. i didn't stop to think that for generations, our families have lived happily with arranged marriages, in which they often hadn't even met the person before the wedding. but that is no longer typical, so i reacted poorly, without thinking of how you might negatively interpret my hesitancy.
maybe this separation will prove helpful, and we can reconnect on another level? i do miss you. i didn't know what to do with myself when you disappeared that day. as shocked as i was about a year ago when we "were married," it was so much worse to find you suddenly gone, with no explanation. it felt like part of me had been cut off. i didn't know if you had run away from me like in the past, or if something bad had happened, and i was terrified.
i still blame myself for everything that happened, both that day you were taken away and the events leading up to it. and i am angry i haven't been able to find you. obviously this isn't a fairy tale, because while you may be a princess, i am no handsome prince, and i have not rescued you from your prison.
i feel as though this past year has been a complete waste. i have done nothing worth mentioning, and i have failed everything important i have attempted. i wish i could strike it out and we could just start over. but for now, i am going to go to Ginny, Colin, and Harry's place. I've been avoiding it thus far, just wandering around by myself wallowing in my failures, but i need to be with my friends now and recuperate.
i'm sorry about everything. i certainly forgive you, and hope you can forgive me. perhaps we can start from the beginning once you return and take things as they were meant to go.