New Entry; Too much thinking.
I didn't drink as much as I thought I did, last night. Either that, or I'm building up a tolerance. ... I'm not sure if the latter is a good thing. I woke up with my teeth feeling as though they sprouted fur in the night, which I expected, but surprisingly clear-headed. Unlike poor Carsis. I've done my best to stay quiet.
I am... not certain how I feel, about these visits to the Kodo. It's nice to get out of the flat and away from my projects, to be sure, but ever since I--heh--retired, I've been finding myself feeling more and more uncomfortable in social situations. I'm not entirely certain who I'm supposed to be, for these people. The self-confidant, flirtatious jack-of-all? Or the bitingly sarcastic old miser? Or, perhaps, the aloof and self-important shadow priest with the permanent chip on his shoulder?
I am all of these things, and none of them, and at times a little bit more. I like the fact that only those that are truly close to me ever get to know that this is so.
... I'm not certain what to think about some of the things I heard last night.
There's a conversation that we've never had, because I've never felt it was necessary. Maybe it's time we had it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't reluctant--I don't even know how to bring it up, and considering our history... perhaps it's best left alone. There is so much room for things to be misunderstood.
... Clearly I need to think about this some more.
I am... not certain how I feel, about these visits to the Kodo. It's nice to get out of the flat and away from my projects, to be sure, but ever since I--heh--retired, I've been finding myself feeling more and more uncomfortable in social situations. I'm not entirely certain who I'm supposed to be, for these people. The self-confidant, flirtatious jack-of-all? Or the bitingly sarcastic old miser? Or, perhaps, the aloof and self-important shadow priest with the permanent chip on his shoulder?
I am all of these things, and none of them, and at times a little bit more. I like the fact that only those that are truly close to me ever get to know that this is so.
... I'm not certain what to think about some of the things I heard last night.
There's a conversation that we've never had, because I've never felt it was necessary. Maybe it's time we had it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't reluctant--I don't even know how to bring it up, and considering our history... perhaps it's best left alone. There is so much room for things to be misunderstood.
... Clearly I need to think about this some more.