Hump 4: Hump-O-Ween
I'd like to reveal a secret about myself, I like porn. Let me clarify, I like a small subset of porn that features real people having real sex - with hair, real bodies (like they enjoy the occasional doughnut), expressing positive sentiment and they can say something other then 'oh ya baby.' I hate, no I have to be more emphatic, I LOATHE most of the porn industry with their air-brushed, silcone-enhanced, shaved, souless dribble.
All this boils down to I like amateur porn. And so I go, every year, to Hump, Seattle's own wildly popular amateur porn film festival/competition. You might sputter ... but but you have a husband, isn't he alarmed and disgusted by this. My answer is yes disgusted ... that we have to go to separate shows because one of us has to stay home with the kids.
prettyshrub already did a great job describing it and here is a guide to all of this years 'entries.' [Juvenile giggles.] I won't go into exacting details about them apart from describing my favorite 'entries.' [More Juvenile giggles. Just assume from now on I giggle everytime I use the word entry.]
Favorites
1. Douche-Dry and Sandy: Gay porn spoofing the movie Dune perfectly. Hilarious and the costumes alone were worth the price of entry.
2. Le Petit Mort: Balloon Couple (think clown made balloon animals but made to look like naked people) having a wild one-night stand that ends badly. Hilarious and strangely exciting.
3. Butthole Lickin: No actual visible sex and could be posted to youtube, just lesbians processing their feelings to hilarious effect.
4. Flesh!: Zombie sex. Not the first one either, last year had a zombie entry. Boy we here in Seattle sure love our zombies.
Worst Ones
1. Real Love Doll - Sorry boys, I don't get the whole sex with real dolls. (Especially the broken real doll in this turd.) Just icky.
2. Rodney's Horny Survey - Skeevy Rodney tries to bag horny, city 'chicks' (There is a beautiful TS lady who could have saved this entry had she banged Rodney.) Yuck. Felt like the porn industry's intrusion into Hump 4.
In conclusion, everyone I know should go to Hump next year. I can think of no better way to assert your first amendment rights. I promise you'll only spend half your time uncomfortably staring at the corner of the screen wishing the 'movie' would end. At the very least, the audience's commiserating groans of disgust will soothe you.
All this boils down to I like amateur porn. And so I go, every year, to Hump, Seattle's own wildly popular amateur porn film festival/competition. You might sputter ... but but you have a husband, isn't he alarmed and disgusted by this. My answer is yes disgusted ... that we have to go to separate shows because one of us has to stay home with the kids.
prettyshrub already did a great job describing it and here is a guide to all of this years 'entries.' [Juvenile giggles.] I won't go into exacting details about them apart from describing my favorite 'entries.' [More Juvenile giggles. Just assume from now on I giggle everytime I use the word entry.]
Favorites
1. Douche-Dry and Sandy: Gay porn spoofing the movie Dune perfectly. Hilarious and the costumes alone were worth the price of entry.
2. Le Petit Mort: Balloon Couple (think clown made balloon animals but made to look like naked people) having a wild one-night stand that ends badly. Hilarious and strangely exciting.
3. Butthole Lickin: No actual visible sex and could be posted to youtube, just lesbians processing their feelings to hilarious effect.
4. Flesh!: Zombie sex. Not the first one either, last year had a zombie entry. Boy we here in Seattle sure love our zombies.
Worst Ones
1. Real Love Doll - Sorry boys, I don't get the whole sex with real dolls. (Especially the broken real doll in this turd.) Just icky.
2. Rodney's Horny Survey - Skeevy Rodney tries to bag horny, city 'chicks' (There is a beautiful TS lady who could have saved this entry had she banged Rodney.) Yuck. Felt like the porn industry's intrusion into Hump 4.
In conclusion, everyone I know should go to Hump next year. I can think of no better way to assert your first amendment rights. I promise you'll only spend half your time uncomfortably staring at the corner of the screen wishing the 'movie' would end. At the very least, the audience's commiserating groans of disgust will soothe you.