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[heraclitus]

I am no longer in love. It started two weeks ago, and the process of falling out of love is pretty much finished at this point. It was prompted when a friend informed me that the girl in question had made a comparison between me and a fictional character. The comparison wasn't insulting (though I will admit it's to a character I don't like, but am

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[heraclitus]

I was in love for six years. I distinguish it from limerence and infatuation (which I also felt for her at various times) due to its duration, and due to the specific expression of the emotion in question. The emotion, whatever it was, was expressed in that I wished to be a better person for her, and to in fact rise to the apex of competency in all fields (including moral conduct such as kindness) when she was around. I was a nicer person in love, and in her presence, than I was out of it.

The specific qualities in her that inspired this sentiment were predominantly the work of a vivid imagination which seized on whatever it could find and spun it into an image of perfection.

I was concerned about discussing my feelings with her, though I never did so. I did periodically tell her that I loved her, but in such a way that it was more of an exuberant expression (like when I tell my friend Bryan that I love him) than a declaration. I did tell everyone in our social circle (between thirty and forty people by now) that I was in love with her, but none of them have ever passed the information along to her so far as I know.

After a few years, I felt somewhat dishonest about never telling her, and I felt it would be better to let the issue lay for another half-decade or so before I bared my heart. I am happy that I can now let the matter drop without that conversation.

[the23]

I did tell everyone in our social circle (between thirty and forty people by now) that I was in love with her, but none of them have ever passed the information along to her so far as I know.

sounds hugely implausible that not one out of 30 people would have passed the info on unless she was moving in completely different circles.

if you had shown your hand you would have likely provoked a response which would have led to a very similar conclusion as the comparison to the fictional character did. were you deliberately addling your brain for six years?

[heraclitus]

It is implausible, but it is the case nonetheless for its implausibility. I am avoiding speculating as to why it is the case because I do not wish to appear bitter.

As to the delay, I am remarkably patient about many things. My desire at the time was to permanently secure the lady in question, and I realised that this was not about to happen at this point in her life. Better to wait five or so years until it was more likely than bung things up through rashness and impatience. This was an important matter to me, and I didn't want to fuck it up.