App~
Character: Corporal Giroro
Series: Keroro Gunsou/Sgt. Frog
Age: Unknown, presumed to be an adult frog.
Job: Self-Defense for Young Women
Canon: Keroro Gunso is the heartwarming and retarded story of how alien frogs attempt to invade Earth, but opt instead for lazing around cleaning houses, building Gundam models, and occasionally saving the world from self-made disasters. They would like everyone to believe that this is all part of their master plan to take over the planet, but it's obvious that said alien troop's biggest hobby is doing nothing.
Corporal Giroro is the backbone of his platoon, serious and blindly committed to his duty -- whatever that may be. The stereotypical hardworking army man, he believes in fundamental ideals that all good soldiers should support: intense training, meticulously cleaning your weapons, doing inventory of your supplies whenever a spare moment arises, and degrading troops to raise morale. Unfortunately for him, all of the other members of his team are, in his opinion, absolute idiots. He also quickly and easily falls prey to emotions such as anger and embarrassment, a fact which serves as constant amusement to his comrades. To combat the slow, painful death of his sanity, hardened veteran Giroro crushes innocently on headstrong teenage girls and rescues kittens from the rain.
Good morning, troops. You've all been signed up for the opportunity of your lifetime. Welcome to Operation C.F.U.D., or "Cannon Fodder United in Despair" for those of you who were too busy sulking in your bunks to bother to decode the message I sent. Corporal Giroro present, and I'll be your superior, instructor and substitute parent until you've all refined the fine art of victory. It's a day full of promise, and I don't intend to let that go to waste. Today we'll be starting with the usual drills and elementary exercises -- but don't expect me to go so easy any other time. Tomorrow I expect your enthusiastic participation in a run to welcome the dawn, keeping in mind that tardiness will be punished relentlessly. Respect will be earned, and mercy shall be a prize for the worthy alone.
Take a deep breath, soldiers, and savour the smell of toucan-excrement-reminiscent-of-napalm in the morning. It's what will become the most pleasant part of your day, apart from fighting off the hungry natives. Although, none of you really have anything to worry about -- they're looking for signs of intelligence and I doubt any of you have a surplus. For the weak, the days ahead will seem to hold an overwhelming darkness... not unlike the vast, unexplored wilderness of your brains.
Fortunately for you lot, I've made sure you'll all have the proper ration of daily "SPAM" for your burnt toast. Comfort food at its best. I've been told that it's a staple of your planet and originates in tubes, ready to be harvested. Multiple reports also detail the absolute mess of a jungle these specific series of tubes can be found in. It seems even "the horror, the horror" isn't quite enough to describe the enormous amount of fright it induces.
Needless to say, you'll be retrieving your own breakfast.
... Heh. That was satisfying. A motivational speech fit for the finest battalion, not that you're anywhere close. Let's take a look at the roster, even if I'll be calling you by numbers one through nine-thousand until the day you die -- just for tradition's sake. First up, a strapping young lad by the name of "36DD". ... what the Hell kind of name is that? Didn't your parents have the sense to name you after a vehicle or at least your grandmother? Pathetic. Remember, I only yell because I care... about how much you're capable of exploding. Next up, "Ilikelongwalksonthebeach" and "Romanticcandlelitdinners". Twins, how fancy--
...
What? What do you mean I won't be training fresh, new, and easily intimidated cadets? It must be a mistake! The mission briefing explicitly stated that I would be in whipping into shape this encampment's most depressing, deprived young -- ... females. Hmm, that's alarming and inconvenient. But no matter. Women, with the proper training, are as capable as men on the battlefield. If not more terrifying. The first obstacle we'll be facing together... Self-defense is it? Ha! The best defense is a brutal offense! We'll begin the drills like I said, soldiers. Stretch and start on five laps around the lake, and -- ...and and your chest, miss i believe it's military protocol to support it and
......it's appreciated that every part of you is atsuchimmediateattention!!!
95.3%.
Series: Keroro Gunsou/Sgt. Frog
Age: Unknown, presumed to be an adult frog.
Job: Self-Defense for Young Women
Canon: Keroro Gunso is the heartwarming and retarded story of how alien frogs attempt to invade Earth, but opt instead for lazing around cleaning houses, building Gundam models, and occasionally saving the world from self-made disasters. They would like everyone to believe that this is all part of their master plan to take over the planet, but it's obvious that said alien troop's biggest hobby is doing nothing.
Corporal Giroro is the backbone of his platoon, serious and blindly committed to his duty -- whatever that may be. The stereotypical hardworking army man, he believes in fundamental ideals that all good soldiers should support: intense training, meticulously cleaning your weapons, doing inventory of your supplies whenever a spare moment arises, and degrading troops to raise morale. Unfortunately for him, all of the other members of his team are, in his opinion, absolute idiots. He also quickly and easily falls prey to emotions such as anger and embarrassment, a fact which serves as constant amusement to his comrades. To combat the slow, painful death of his sanity, hardened veteran Giroro crushes innocently on headstrong teenage girls and rescues kittens from the rain.
Good morning, troops. You've all been signed up for the opportunity of your lifetime. Welcome to Operation C.F.U.D., or "Cannon Fodder United in Despair" for those of you who were too busy sulking in your bunks to bother to decode the message I sent. Corporal Giroro present, and I'll be your superior, instructor and substitute parent until you've all refined the fine art of victory. It's a day full of promise, and I don't intend to let that go to waste. Today we'll be starting with the usual drills and elementary exercises -- but don't expect me to go so easy any other time. Tomorrow I expect your enthusiastic participation in a run to welcome the dawn, keeping in mind that tardiness will be punished relentlessly. Respect will be earned, and mercy shall be a prize for the worthy alone.
Take a deep breath, soldiers, and savour the smell of toucan-excrement-reminiscent-of-napalm in the morning. It's what will become the most pleasant part of your day, apart from fighting off the hungry natives. Although, none of you really have anything to worry about -- they're looking for signs of intelligence and I doubt any of you have a surplus. For the weak, the days ahead will seem to hold an overwhelming darkness... not unlike the vast, unexplored wilderness of your brains.
Fortunately for you lot, I've made sure you'll all have the proper ration of daily "SPAM" for your burnt toast. Comfort food at its best. I've been told that it's a staple of your planet and originates in tubes, ready to be harvested. Multiple reports also detail the absolute mess of a jungle these specific series of tubes can be found in. It seems even "the horror, the horror" isn't quite enough to describe the enormous amount of fright it induces.
Needless to say, you'll be retrieving your own breakfast.
... Heh. That was satisfying. A motivational speech fit for the finest battalion, not that you're anywhere close. Let's take a look at the roster, even if I'll be calling you by numbers one through nine-thousand until the day you die -- just for tradition's sake. First up, a strapping young lad by the name of "36DD". ... what the Hell kind of name is that? Didn't your parents have the sense to name you after a vehicle or at least your grandmother? Pathetic. Remember, I only yell because I care... about how much you're capable of exploding. Next up, "Ilikelongwalksonthebeach" and "Romanticcandlelitdinners". Twins, how fancy--
...
What? What do you mean I won't be training fresh, new, and easily intimidated cadets? It must be a mistake! The mission briefing explicitly stated that I would be in whipping into shape this encampment's most depressing, deprived young -- ... females. Hmm, that's alarming and inconvenient. But no matter. Women, with the proper training, are as capable as men on the battlefield. If not more terrifying. The first obstacle we'll be facing together... Self-defense is it? Ha! The best defense is a brutal offense! We'll begin the drills like I said, soldiers. Stretch and start on five laps around the lake, and -- ...and and your chest, miss i believe it's military protocol to support it and
......it's appreciated that every part of you is atsuchimmediateattention!!!
95.3%.