This week in life..............
This week had all different kinds of things going on.
Don and I played at the beach. On Monday we took some of my old sand toys from my dads and headed to Illinois Beach State Park. We played for what seemed like hours but was only 90 minutes. Then we walked down the beach and then played at the mini-park (2 swings and a slide). During our walk Donovan wanted to climb the rocks. I told him to be careful because I did not have my brace on my ankle and could not save him. Due mostly to the strong gale off the lake he fell. Looked down at his leg, then looked at me. I shook my head. He continued to climb up the rocks to the top.
"Dad that hurt."
"Isn't that what I said?"
"Yes. But I had to prove I could do it."
"To whom?"
"To myself."
"Good because you do not have to prove anything to me. I know you can do it."
Then we spent an hour playing on the swings and hide-n-go-seek.
Emily had Jury duty this week. So the kids got to go to DeVry with me on Tuesday night. Luckily class was over early so I could get them home by 9pm. I got to take care of the kids most of the rest of the week. Took some vacation so I could get them to school and doctor's appointments. Somewhere in Doug's 8 years of life he has missed the Chicken Pox immunization. Well he got it on Thursday. Took it like a man. No tears, no fighting. Took him for OT on Friday. He is doing good. He looked great for his pictures, except his hair. He summer girlfriend came over to play the last two days. Made him and Don happy. They really like her.
My Doctor visit on Monday was a bit disappointing. I hate the "wait and see" attitude. But I trust my Doc. So I will keep working out and losing weight. I lost and have kept off 12 lbs in a month. That is pretty darn good for not trying really hard. My workout schedule has been pressed this week. I will be lucky to get two in.
Got my schedule for DeVry for the fall. Looks like Monday and Tuesday night I will be at school. Makes getting homework done a lot easier. But my non-existent social life is becoming more apparent. I have had "requests" from females which I am not used to. I had been getting numbers at CLC but never acted on them. Still don't. I IM'd a young lady for 3 hours on Friday afternoon. I really like her. Things have made it tough to get to meet her. I hope I can someday. I do not like to keep the door wide open. I like to look through the crack (don't go there, lol). I am not pushing for anyone right now. As I told her, "I am feeling the Darkest I have ever felt." And I do. I feel unwanted and taken advantage of. I feel used and wasted. I feel like I need to go do something to cleanse my soul. I need to go save another life or something. Some dreams have been nightmares. Some talks have become distant. It is feeling like I do not want any friends and that some of my friends have become enemies. Trust seems to be hard to achieve and I am having more and more trouble finding people to trust. It seems like the time for words is over and the time for action had arrived. But I have no clue what that means..............................