Times like these.
This was an entry from a minute ago that definetly needs to be written again. Everyone and their dog is getting their heartbroken! I think like at least 5 pairs of friends broke up in the last week...scurry. CRAP, MAN! LoL. So anyway, hope it helps you understand what I think love is. Everything is true to my opinion.
--------------------------------------
So, after my drunkeness which you've probably read about in other people's journals, I moved to consoling Chris. I feel so bad for him, well, not BAD for him--but I wish that he wasn't in the state that he is. So, I was holding him and he told me that he was "actually jealous" of me because I don't have to worry about someone else or care about someone else, and I won't get hurt by a break up. I told him everyone goes through it sometime but he'll get better. He wanted to know when he was going to get better and I said "Tomorrow, and the next day and the next day and the next. It WILL get better because it HAS to get better. Just think, tomorrow's a new day! St. Patick's day is coming up too!" He didn't know it, but I started to cry too. So, there we were...two little kids, talking, and holding eachother--then Eric came over to see if things were okay--which was amazing, I didn't expect it. He told us that he loved us and we were his best friends and stuff. When I was crying I think I was angry, not sad. Angry that someone could do that to my best friend. Just....cripple them with emotional pain. Like when I was angry at Kyle for doing what he did to Eric, or when Kelley fucked with Lauren, or Corey with Megan....even Matt F. to Amb. How can someone say they care/love about you and then turn around and stab you in the back and rip your heart out through your blood-soaked, now holy sweater they bought you for your birthday. Oh man...I hope if I ever fall in love, I stay in love. It seems like the shittiest and most blissful emotion/feeling/everything of all. "All you need is love," I really do think this is true--what other FEELING can bring all the other FEELINGS and EMOTIONS with it? Love can bring, joy, fright, sorrow, hate, anger--without all these feelings and emotions, you would have nothing. So, in a sense...if you had love, you had everything--As I am writing this I'm learning--I understand what people say when they said "They were my everything." Because LOVE IS ACTUALLY EVERYTHING. IT'S ALL YOU NEED! Love makes people want to do anything to keep it. Even if it's what some might say as "unhealthy" love--they try as hard as they can to keep it--I think that if you wouldn't try, then maybe you weren't ever in love...and you were just a bitch and the other half, a tool that you used to fake love. So, now that I sit here, 45 minute-slept, exhausted, overhung and in shape--haha, I'm wondering if the saying "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all," is true. I think it's true for the people that haven't loved--something to look forward to. And it indeed is false for those who HAVE loved and lost, and lost their way forever. So, now I'm not depressed about love--I'm angry with it. We already know that love brings it...so the only emotion/feeling in love that I'm missing....is love itself. You don't HAVE to be in love to get these emotions and have them hurt just the same. I'm in love with the emotions/feelings, I just haven't found someone to apply them to. Wow....what an entry. I feel really good now--mentally. To all my friends, I really DO love you. You really DO mean EVERYTHING to me :) Well, kids, I reckon.
Loveless, but I still love you,
Jenna :)
-----------------------------------
The weekend was tough...read about it somewhere else. I be the advice giver...not the story-teller. Friends, I EVERYTHING YOU! If you read, you understand :)
Still everythinging you,
Jenna :)
--------------------------------------
So, after my drunkeness which you've probably read about in other people's journals, I moved to consoling Chris. I feel so bad for him, well, not BAD for him--but I wish that he wasn't in the state that he is. So, I was holding him and he told me that he was "actually jealous" of me because I don't have to worry about someone else or care about someone else, and I won't get hurt by a break up. I told him everyone goes through it sometime but he'll get better. He wanted to know when he was going to get better and I said "Tomorrow, and the next day and the next day and the next. It WILL get better because it HAS to get better. Just think, tomorrow's a new day! St. Patick's day is coming up too!" He didn't know it, but I started to cry too. So, there we were...two little kids, talking, and holding eachother--then Eric came over to see if things were okay--which was amazing, I didn't expect it. He told us that he loved us and we were his best friends and stuff. When I was crying I think I was angry, not sad. Angry that someone could do that to my best friend. Just....cripple them with emotional pain. Like when I was angry at Kyle for doing what he did to Eric, or when Kelley fucked with Lauren, or Corey with Megan....even Matt F. to Amb. How can someone say they care/love about you and then turn around and stab you in the back and rip your heart out through your blood-soaked, now holy sweater they bought you for your birthday. Oh man...I hope if I ever fall in love, I stay in love. It seems like the shittiest and most blissful emotion/feeling/everything of all. "All you need is love," I really do think this is true--what other FEELING can bring all the other FEELINGS and EMOTIONS with it? Love can bring, joy, fright, sorrow, hate, anger--without all these feelings and emotions, you would have nothing. So, in a sense...if you had love, you had everything--As I am writing this I'm learning--I understand what people say when they said "They were my everything." Because LOVE IS ACTUALLY EVERYTHING. IT'S ALL YOU NEED! Love makes people want to do anything to keep it. Even if it's what some might say as "unhealthy" love--they try as hard as they can to keep it--I think that if you wouldn't try, then maybe you weren't ever in love...and you were just a bitch and the other half, a tool that you used to fake love. So, now that I sit here, 45 minute-slept, exhausted, overhung and in shape--haha, I'm wondering if the saying "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all," is true. I think it's true for the people that haven't loved--something to look forward to. And it indeed is false for those who HAVE loved and lost, and lost their way forever. So, now I'm not depressed about love--I'm angry with it. We already know that love brings it...so the only emotion/feeling in love that I'm missing....is love itself. You don't HAVE to be in love to get these emotions and have them hurt just the same. I'm in love with the emotions/feelings, I just haven't found someone to apply them to. Wow....what an entry. I feel really good now--mentally. To all my friends, I really DO love you. You really DO mean EVERYTHING to me :) Well, kids, I reckon.
Loveless, but I still love you,
Jenna :)
-----------------------------------
The weekend was tough...read about it somewhere else. I be the advice giver...not the story-teller. Friends, I EVERYTHING YOU! If you read, you understand :)
Still everythinging you,
Jenna :)