[Fic] Couldn't have known (for bel_chan)
Title: Couldn’t have known.
Author: helzfyah
Pairing: JaeHo, a dash of KangTeuk (Youngoon and Jungsu of Super Junior)
Rating: PG-13 - adult themes I guess.
Warnings: mpreg, angst coming out of every pore, and something I can’t say because it’s pivotal to the plot.
Summary: Yunho and Jaejoong try to cope, with the help of some close friends.
A/N: for bel_chan, in exchange for a YunJaeKi fic, and just because you’re awesome.
Jungsu enveloped Yunho in his arms and held him tightly for a few moments as they stood in the entryway to the apartment. Yunho did not resist; he accepted the small comfort from the older man. Jungsu drew back slowly, releasing Yunho and fixing him with an intent look.
“How are you?’ he questioned quietly. Yunho sighed, turning to enter the kitchen and putting the kettle on to boil for some tea.
“I’m… as fine as you can expect.” He answered slowly. “Just worried about Jae.” Jungsu sat quietly at the counter, waiting for Yunho to continue.
“He hasn’t spoken to anyone since he was released from the hospital. Not to me. Not even to Chunnie, who can get him to open up about everything. He just sits there quietly. Too quietly, I think.” Yunho slumped into the seat across from Jungsu, his elbows on the countertop and his fingers clasped behind his neck.
“I know he’s fine physically, the doctor said he should make a full recovery. But I don’t know how he’s dealing with the shock, you know?” He lifted his head to meet Jungsu’s gaze. “I mean neither of us knew… we had no idea, and then…” Yunho’s voice broke, his innate composure finally cracking. Jungsu reached across the table and took Yunho’s hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“And I have no idea how to help him. Hell, I can barely help myself.” Yunho finished softly. The silence was broken by the shrill sound of the kettle’s whistle. Jungsu got up to turn it off, returning to Yunho’s side at the counter.
“Can I try talking to him?” Jungsu asked. “I think he might respond better if he talks to someone who’s been through what he’s going through now.”
Yunho looked up, confusion on his face for a moment, before nodding slowly. “He’s in the bedroom.”
Jungsu left Yunho seated in the kitchen and walked deeper into the house to the room Yunho and Jaejoong shared. He pushed the door open slowly and entered the dimly lit room. He found Jaejoong curled into the window seat along one wall, looking down onto the park across the street.
“I know you don’t want to hear that it’s going to be ok. And you don’t want to hear that it’s not your fault. Because none of that makes any sense to you - how is it not your fault? You should have known what was happening inside your own body. And how can it be ok when you feel like the world has dropped out from under your feet.”
Jungsu sat down across from Jaejoong in the opposite corner of the seat. Jaejoong continued to stare out of the window. They sat quietly for a few moments.
“Five years ago - you and Yunho would have still been living in Japan then - I got sick. I thought it was just stress: We were busy recording our third album, and Sukira was more popular than ever. Finally, after weeks of being out of it, I went and saw my doctor.”
“When Youngoon and I found out I was four months pregnant, we didn’t even know how to react. We had so many commitments to keep, and management had no idea that we were even together. But we were happy.” Jungsu’s voice caught. “So very happy.” His voice went quiet for a moment; then he cleared his throat and continued.
“We decided to keep it secret, just between the two of us, at least until we decided what we were going to do. But when I started to show a few weeks later - we knew it was time. We were going to tell everyone one night after we had finished filming the MCcountdown, but we never got a chance to.”
Jungsu looked at Jaejoong, who had finally stopped staring out the window and was watching him silently. “Someone had over-waxed the stage and I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs before the program even started. The last things I remember is hearing Youngoon call my name and feeling a tearing sensation inside.”
Jungsu closed his eyes, wiping silently at the tears on his cheeks. A moment later he felt Jae’s body fit against his as Jaejoong crept into his lap, wrapping his arms around Jungsu and pillowing his face against Jungsu’s chest. Jungsu laid his cheek on Jaejoong’s hair and softly finished.
“When I woke up a few hours later, Youngoon was there. We never told anyone because what was the point now? So when I left the hospital I continued on with our group activities. I was trying to get past the fact that I had just lost my baby… the daughter I had wanted so badly. And eventually, I just hit a wall and broke down. But Youngoon was right there to catch me. And he helped me get through it - we got through it together. And I love him so much for that.”
“Does it ever stop hurting?” Jaejoong’s broken whisper was almost lost in Jungsu’s shirt. Jungsu carded his fingers slowly through Jaejoong’s hair.
“It gets easier. Eventually you’ll be able to wake up in the morning without feeling that your heart is twice as big as it should be. But no, I don’t think the hurt never stops.”
“But-” Jungsu cut across Jaejoong’s words, knowing what was coming.
“Look at me Jaejoong.” Slowly, Jaejoong raised his tear-stained face to Jungsu’s. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t even know you were pregnant. There was nothing you could have done. So don’t blame yourself.”
“Lean on Yunho. I think he is the only one who can really help you get through this. And never forget Jae - your family loves you so much. Yunho and little Yunjae both need you. So don’t fade away.”
Jaejoong nodded, placing his head back on Jungsu’s shoulder. Jungsu tightened his arms around Jaejoong, holding him close.
Youngoon was sitting with Yunho in the kitchen when Jungsu finally left Jaejoong.
“He’s asleep,” he announced to the young men, sitting next to Youngoon and accepting a cup of tea from Yunho. “I think he’ll be fine, he just needs some time.”
Yunho nodded. “Thank you.” His gaze shifted to Youngoon for a moment. “I know what happened and… it couldn’t have been easy coming over here. So, thank you.”
Jungsu’s lips quirked at the edges. “It was hard. But I needed to.” Youngoon placed his arm around Jungsu’s shoulder, drawing the older man into his side.
“Now, go to him,” Jungsu nudged Yunho towards the door, “We can let ourselves out.”
Yunho nodded, giving them both a strong hug. Youngoon squeezed his shoulder. “Remember what I told you,” he said, before letting Yunho go.
Jungsu turned toward the sink, rinsing out the tea things and placing them into the dishwasher. He stood over the sink for a few moments, bracing his arms to try and control the shaking in his shoulders. Youngoon took him into his arms, turning him around and placing a gentle kiss to his temple. He held him close, letting Jungsu cry silently into his shoulder, his tears soaking his shirt.
When his sobs quieted down, Youngoon raised Jungsu’s face, wiping at his cheeks softly with his thumb. “Ok?” he asked. Jungsu shook his head.
“Not right now, but I’ll be fine. As long as you hold me, I’ll be fine.” Youngoon placed a gentle kiss to Jungsu’s lips.
“I don’t plan on ever letting you go, Teukie.” Jungsu smiled softly at the tender nickname.
“Take me home.”
Yunho entered his bedroom, walking over to the window and pulling the blinds closed. He watched Jae sleep, curled on his side in the semi-darkness. Carefully he slipped under the covers next to Jae, twining his fingers into Jae’s hand at his waist. He watched the sleeping man for a few moments before sliding into sleep himself.
When Yunho woke up, he was alone. The blinds had been opened and darkness covered Seoul outside his window. The soft melody of a piano filtered under his bedroom door, Curious, Yunho stood and opened the door, standing silently in the hallway and watching his seven-year-old son play their baby grand for his father from his position in Jae’s lap. When Yunjae finished his piece, Jae clapped, kissing the beaming boy on the forehead.
“That was wonderful - did Uncle Yoochun teach you that while I was sick?” Yunjae nodded an affirmation to Jaejoong’s question, before turning serious eyes to his father.
“Why were you sick, umma? Appa was very scared - I saw him crying in the hospital. And Uncle Min too - I was scared.”
Yunho watched as Jae stood his son up, leading him over to the couch before sitting and pulling the boy back into his lap. “Do you remember what appa and I told you about how you were born?” Jae asked.
Yunjae nodded enthusiastically. “You said that I am a very special boy because I have two fathers when most kids have a father and a mother. And, I’m a miracle that was given to you because you and appa have so much love to give that you could share it with me.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Exactly. Well, your appa and I were given another little miracle. But then it was taken away from us. I was very sick for a while because it was very painful. And appa cried because he was worried. He didn’t mean to scare you.”
Yunjae sat quietly in Jae’s lap, digesting the information. Yunho saw Yunjae’s question look flit across his face for a moment before he asked - “But why was it taken away? I don’t understand umma.”
Jaejoong shrugged. “We don’t know, Yunnie. Maybe it wasn’t the right time for us to receive the miracle. Not even your Uncle Min would know the answer to a question like that.”
Yunjae’s mouth opened, an exaggerated look of surprise on his tiny face. “But Uncle Min knows everything!”
Jaejoong laughed, a sound Yunho hadn’t realized he missed hearing over the past few days. “Well, this is the type of question we aren’t meant to know the answer to, baby. We just have to accept what happened.”
Yunjae nodded slowly, accepting his father’s explanation. Then suddenly he threw his arms around Jae’s neck and placed a wet kiss to his cheek. “I’m glad you’re alright umma. It’s ok that we didn’t get another miracle. I promise to be even better to make up for it.”
Yunho felt his heart constrict at his son’s words. Jae pulled Yunjae closer to him, wrapping him into a tight hug. “You’re as much miracle as I need, baby, just as you are. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome umma. Saranghae.”
“Saranghae, Yunnie. Now,” Jaejoong said, his voice getting stronger. “It’s time for you to go to bed. Get ready and I’ll be in in a minute, ok?”
Yunjae nodded, clambering off his father’s lap and running to his bedroom. Jaejoong stayed seated for a moment, composing himself. Then he returned to the piano and began playing a melody Yunho hadn’t heard in a long time. Yunho entered the living room, making his way to Jae’s side and perching on the edge of the bench.
“You wrote that when Yunjae was born.” Jaejoong nodded silently, intent on the ebony and white keys before him. Yunho placed his arm around Jae’s waist and listened to Jaejoong play. When he finished, Jae let his hands fall to his sides and placed his head on Yunho’s shoulder. They sat silently for a few minutes.
“I thought Chunnie and Su were watching Yunjae.” Yunho asked. Jaejoong nodded against his shoulder.
“I told them to bring him home. I missed my son, Yunho. I missed him so much.” Jae’s voice died to a whisper on his last words.
“I know,” Yunho said. “But I didn’t want to worry him. And you were… So I thought it would be better if he stayed with them for a few days. I missed him, too.” Yunho turned, straddling the seat with his legs and pulling Jae close to his chest.
“I’m sorry, Yunho.” Jae whispered, his eyes closed and his fingers wrapped tightly into Yunho’s shirt. “I know how much you want a big family and… I can’t give that to you. Sometimes I feel that by loving me, you hold yourself back from having what you’ve always wanted. And, I never want to hold you back Yunnie-yah. You deserve to have everything you want.”
Yunho held back, letting Jae finish his confession before answering him. “BooJae - you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. From the time I was 17, I’ve only ever wanted you. And you gave me Yunjae - how could I ask anything more of you? I love our son so much, it scares me sometimes. And when I see you with him, with your identical eyes and smiles, I just feel so full I could burst.”
“I would love to have more children with you Jae, but it’s not meant to be. And it’s ok. We have more than we could have ever asked for already .”
But, I just-” Jaejoong began. “I should have known, Yunnie-yah. I should have known.”
“Boo, you were only a few weeks along. You couldn’t have possibly known yet. And the doctor said that m-miscarriages are common at that stage in women and they never know. Only because you’re built differently, it caused you to hemorrhage… I was so scared Jae. When Junsu called and told me that you had collapsed in the studio, I think my heart stopped beating.”
“I thought I had lost you, Jae.” Yunho confessed softly. “And while I mourn for what could have been, I’m just happy that you’re still here with me.”
Jaejoong took Yunho’s hand in his, placing a soft kiss to his palm. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving. But Jungsu hyung helped me see that it will get easier to bear. And even though I can’t imagine a time when the hurt will stop, I’m willing to work towards it.”
“I’m here with you, BooJae. Always with you.” Yunho placed a soft kiss to Jaejoong’s hair. Jae raised his head, his smile quivering beneath his tears.
“I know Yunnie. I know.”
END.
Bel, I hope you liked this and it wasn't too much angst for you, but that's where my Mpreg muse felt like taking me. If not, this idea actually came as a spin-off from a larger arc about Jaeho, and Yunjae's birth as well as other little things alluded to in this story. I might be writing that one later, and i would love to dedicate it to you, k?
Comments are wonderful!
Author: helzfyah
Pairing: JaeHo, a dash of KangTeuk (Youngoon and Jungsu of Super Junior)
Rating: PG-13 - adult themes I guess.
Warnings: mpreg, angst coming out of every pore, and something I can’t say because it’s pivotal to the plot.
Summary: Yunho and Jaejoong try to cope, with the help of some close friends.
A/N: for bel_chan, in exchange for a YunJaeKi fic, and just because you’re awesome.
Jungsu enveloped Yunho in his arms and held him tightly for a few moments as they stood in the entryway to the apartment. Yunho did not resist; he accepted the small comfort from the older man. Jungsu drew back slowly, releasing Yunho and fixing him with an intent look.
“How are you?’ he questioned quietly. Yunho sighed, turning to enter the kitchen and putting the kettle on to boil for some tea.
“I’m… as fine as you can expect.” He answered slowly. “Just worried about Jae.” Jungsu sat quietly at the counter, waiting for Yunho to continue.
“He hasn’t spoken to anyone since he was released from the hospital. Not to me. Not even to Chunnie, who can get him to open up about everything. He just sits there quietly. Too quietly, I think.” Yunho slumped into the seat across from Jungsu, his elbows on the countertop and his fingers clasped behind his neck.
“I know he’s fine physically, the doctor said he should make a full recovery. But I don’t know how he’s dealing with the shock, you know?” He lifted his head to meet Jungsu’s gaze. “I mean neither of us knew… we had no idea, and then…” Yunho’s voice broke, his innate composure finally cracking. Jungsu reached across the table and took Yunho’s hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“And I have no idea how to help him. Hell, I can barely help myself.” Yunho finished softly. The silence was broken by the shrill sound of the kettle’s whistle. Jungsu got up to turn it off, returning to Yunho’s side at the counter.
“Can I try talking to him?” Jungsu asked. “I think he might respond better if he talks to someone who’s been through what he’s going through now.”
Yunho looked up, confusion on his face for a moment, before nodding slowly. “He’s in the bedroom.”
Jungsu left Yunho seated in the kitchen and walked deeper into the house to the room Yunho and Jaejoong shared. He pushed the door open slowly and entered the dimly lit room. He found Jaejoong curled into the window seat along one wall, looking down onto the park across the street.
“I know you don’t want to hear that it’s going to be ok. And you don’t want to hear that it’s not your fault. Because none of that makes any sense to you - how is it not your fault? You should have known what was happening inside your own body. And how can it be ok when you feel like the world has dropped out from under your feet.”
Jungsu sat down across from Jaejoong in the opposite corner of the seat. Jaejoong continued to stare out of the window. They sat quietly for a few moments.
“Five years ago - you and Yunho would have still been living in Japan then - I got sick. I thought it was just stress: We were busy recording our third album, and Sukira was more popular than ever. Finally, after weeks of being out of it, I went and saw my doctor.”
“When Youngoon and I found out I was four months pregnant, we didn’t even know how to react. We had so many commitments to keep, and management had no idea that we were even together. But we were happy.” Jungsu’s voice caught. “So very happy.” His voice went quiet for a moment; then he cleared his throat and continued.
“We decided to keep it secret, just between the two of us, at least until we decided what we were going to do. But when I started to show a few weeks later - we knew it was time. We were going to tell everyone one night after we had finished filming the MCcountdown, but we never got a chance to.”
Jungsu looked at Jaejoong, who had finally stopped staring out the window and was watching him silently. “Someone had over-waxed the stage and I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs before the program even started. The last things I remember is hearing Youngoon call my name and feeling a tearing sensation inside.”
Jungsu closed his eyes, wiping silently at the tears on his cheeks. A moment later he felt Jae’s body fit against his as Jaejoong crept into his lap, wrapping his arms around Jungsu and pillowing his face against Jungsu’s chest. Jungsu laid his cheek on Jaejoong’s hair and softly finished.
“When I woke up a few hours later, Youngoon was there. We never told anyone because what was the point now? So when I left the hospital I continued on with our group activities. I was trying to get past the fact that I had just lost my baby… the daughter I had wanted so badly. And eventually, I just hit a wall and broke down. But Youngoon was right there to catch me. And he helped me get through it - we got through it together. And I love him so much for that.”
“Does it ever stop hurting?” Jaejoong’s broken whisper was almost lost in Jungsu’s shirt. Jungsu carded his fingers slowly through Jaejoong’s hair.
“It gets easier. Eventually you’ll be able to wake up in the morning without feeling that your heart is twice as big as it should be. But no, I don’t think the hurt never stops.”
“But-” Jungsu cut across Jaejoong’s words, knowing what was coming.
“Look at me Jaejoong.” Slowly, Jaejoong raised his tear-stained face to Jungsu’s. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t even know you were pregnant. There was nothing you could have done. So don’t blame yourself.”
“Lean on Yunho. I think he is the only one who can really help you get through this. And never forget Jae - your family loves you so much. Yunho and little Yunjae both need you. So don’t fade away.”
Jaejoong nodded, placing his head back on Jungsu’s shoulder. Jungsu tightened his arms around Jaejoong, holding him close.
Youngoon was sitting with Yunho in the kitchen when Jungsu finally left Jaejoong.
“He’s asleep,” he announced to the young men, sitting next to Youngoon and accepting a cup of tea from Yunho. “I think he’ll be fine, he just needs some time.”
Yunho nodded. “Thank you.” His gaze shifted to Youngoon for a moment. “I know what happened and… it couldn’t have been easy coming over here. So, thank you.”
Jungsu’s lips quirked at the edges. “It was hard. But I needed to.” Youngoon placed his arm around Jungsu’s shoulder, drawing the older man into his side.
“Now, go to him,” Jungsu nudged Yunho towards the door, “We can let ourselves out.”
Yunho nodded, giving them both a strong hug. Youngoon squeezed his shoulder. “Remember what I told you,” he said, before letting Yunho go.
Jungsu turned toward the sink, rinsing out the tea things and placing them into the dishwasher. He stood over the sink for a few moments, bracing his arms to try and control the shaking in his shoulders. Youngoon took him into his arms, turning him around and placing a gentle kiss to his temple. He held him close, letting Jungsu cry silently into his shoulder, his tears soaking his shirt.
When his sobs quieted down, Youngoon raised Jungsu’s face, wiping at his cheeks softly with his thumb. “Ok?” he asked. Jungsu shook his head.
“Not right now, but I’ll be fine. As long as you hold me, I’ll be fine.” Youngoon placed a gentle kiss to Jungsu’s lips.
“I don’t plan on ever letting you go, Teukie.” Jungsu smiled softly at the tender nickname.
“Take me home.”
Yunho entered his bedroom, walking over to the window and pulling the blinds closed. He watched Jae sleep, curled on his side in the semi-darkness. Carefully he slipped under the covers next to Jae, twining his fingers into Jae’s hand at his waist. He watched the sleeping man for a few moments before sliding into sleep himself.
When Yunho woke up, he was alone. The blinds had been opened and darkness covered Seoul outside his window. The soft melody of a piano filtered under his bedroom door, Curious, Yunho stood and opened the door, standing silently in the hallway and watching his seven-year-old son play their baby grand for his father from his position in Jae’s lap. When Yunjae finished his piece, Jae clapped, kissing the beaming boy on the forehead.
“That was wonderful - did Uncle Yoochun teach you that while I was sick?” Yunjae nodded an affirmation to Jaejoong’s question, before turning serious eyes to his father.
“Why were you sick, umma? Appa was very scared - I saw him crying in the hospital. And Uncle Min too - I was scared.”
Yunho watched as Jae stood his son up, leading him over to the couch before sitting and pulling the boy back into his lap. “Do you remember what appa and I told you about how you were born?” Jae asked.
Yunjae nodded enthusiastically. “You said that I am a very special boy because I have two fathers when most kids have a father and a mother. And, I’m a miracle that was given to you because you and appa have so much love to give that you could share it with me.”
Jaejoong smiled. “Exactly. Well, your appa and I were given another little miracle. But then it was taken away from us. I was very sick for a while because it was very painful. And appa cried because he was worried. He didn’t mean to scare you.”
Yunjae sat quietly in Jae’s lap, digesting the information. Yunho saw Yunjae’s question look flit across his face for a moment before he asked - “But why was it taken away? I don’t understand umma.”
Jaejoong shrugged. “We don’t know, Yunnie. Maybe it wasn’t the right time for us to receive the miracle. Not even your Uncle Min would know the answer to a question like that.”
Yunjae’s mouth opened, an exaggerated look of surprise on his tiny face. “But Uncle Min knows everything!”
Jaejoong laughed, a sound Yunho hadn’t realized he missed hearing over the past few days. “Well, this is the type of question we aren’t meant to know the answer to, baby. We just have to accept what happened.”
Yunjae nodded slowly, accepting his father’s explanation. Then suddenly he threw his arms around Jae’s neck and placed a wet kiss to his cheek. “I’m glad you’re alright umma. It’s ok that we didn’t get another miracle. I promise to be even better to make up for it.”
Yunho felt his heart constrict at his son’s words. Jae pulled Yunjae closer to him, wrapping him into a tight hug. “You’re as much miracle as I need, baby, just as you are. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome umma. Saranghae.”
“Saranghae, Yunnie. Now,” Jaejoong said, his voice getting stronger. “It’s time for you to go to bed. Get ready and I’ll be in in a minute, ok?”
Yunjae nodded, clambering off his father’s lap and running to his bedroom. Jaejoong stayed seated for a moment, composing himself. Then he returned to the piano and began playing a melody Yunho hadn’t heard in a long time. Yunho entered the living room, making his way to Jae’s side and perching on the edge of the bench.
“You wrote that when Yunjae was born.” Jaejoong nodded silently, intent on the ebony and white keys before him. Yunho placed his arm around Jae’s waist and listened to Jaejoong play. When he finished, Jae let his hands fall to his sides and placed his head on Yunho’s shoulder. They sat silently for a few minutes.
“I thought Chunnie and Su were watching Yunjae.” Yunho asked. Jaejoong nodded against his shoulder.
“I told them to bring him home. I missed my son, Yunho. I missed him so much.” Jae’s voice died to a whisper on his last words.
“I know,” Yunho said. “But I didn’t want to worry him. And you were… So I thought it would be better if he stayed with them for a few days. I missed him, too.” Yunho turned, straddling the seat with his legs and pulling Jae close to his chest.
“I’m sorry, Yunho.” Jae whispered, his eyes closed and his fingers wrapped tightly into Yunho’s shirt. “I know how much you want a big family and… I can’t give that to you. Sometimes I feel that by loving me, you hold yourself back from having what you’ve always wanted. And, I never want to hold you back Yunnie-yah. You deserve to have everything you want.”
Yunho held back, letting Jae finish his confession before answering him. “BooJae - you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. From the time I was 17, I’ve only ever wanted you. And you gave me Yunjae - how could I ask anything more of you? I love our son so much, it scares me sometimes. And when I see you with him, with your identical eyes and smiles, I just feel so full I could burst.”
“I would love to have more children with you Jae, but it’s not meant to be. And it’s ok. We have more than we could have ever asked for already .”
But, I just-” Jaejoong began. “I should have known, Yunnie-yah. I should have known.”
“Boo, you were only a few weeks along. You couldn’t have possibly known yet. And the doctor said that m-miscarriages are common at that stage in women and they never know. Only because you’re built differently, it caused you to hemorrhage… I was so scared Jae. When Junsu called and told me that you had collapsed in the studio, I think my heart stopped beating.”
“I thought I had lost you, Jae.” Yunho confessed softly. “And while I mourn for what could have been, I’m just happy that you’re still here with me.”
Jaejoong took Yunho’s hand in his, placing a soft kiss to his palm. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving. But Jungsu hyung helped me see that it will get easier to bear. And even though I can’t imagine a time when the hurt will stop, I’m willing to work towards it.”
“I’m here with you, BooJae. Always with you.” Yunho placed a soft kiss to Jaejoong’s hair. Jae raised his head, his smile quivering beneath his tears.
“I know Yunnie. I know.”
END.
Bel, I hope you liked this and it wasn't too much angst for you, but that's where my Mpreg muse felt like taking me. If not, this idea actually came as a spin-off from a larger arc about Jaeho, and Yunjae's birth as well as other little things alluded to in this story. I might be writing that one later, and i would love to dedicate it to you, k?
Comments are wonderful!