Hide in this hole around my heart

[notamistake]

"I'm sorry, kid." I muttered as I glanced down at Connor's still form layin' on the ground. Hadn't meant to wail on him so hard but I'd just kinda....I dunno....lost it I guess. Wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, he'd been tryin' to prove something to me, right? Prove that I was still just as badass as I'd always been,

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[alyx_d]

I wasn't surprised when she flung Jessica at the doors, my dumb little secretary had just gotten very lucky. Faith was going to have to learn that in my world when I suggested punishment it didn't involve letting them go, it involved pain and consequences. I came at her and smirked as I wiped the trail of blood from the corner of my mouth after she'd hit me. I stood and listened to her before she brushed past me and poured herself a shot talking like she was suddenly the boss because she smacked me and let Jessica go. She had a long hard road in front of her but wasn't she a pretty tool?

"You're clever but you're not bright." I pointed out with a grin as she suggested that her getting everything and anything included her mortality. "You've got a lot to learn Faith, a whole hell of a lot to learn. I'm going to enjoy teaching you too every step of the way. You see you haven't figured out quite what you are yet. You're walking around but you lack one small thing, life."

I casually strolled over to her and stood in front of her, true she was a bit taller than me but that meant nothing. Dangerous things come in small packages and I was the most dangerous of all. My sweet little lovely kicked puppy throwing out instructions on her newly earned unlife. I 'tsk'd' her and smiled briefly before pouring myself a drink of my own and slamming it back before turning from her and walking back to my desk. I tipped my head lightly and her body jerked forward violently before landing her on her knees in front of me. I reached my hand down and ran it through her hair and smirked at her inability to move.

"Anything and everything are what I decide, not you. This isn't a grocery store where you get to pick out your own cookies, but that's cute of you to think you got some say in this." I pulled a chair in front of her and sat down in it, my hands stroking along her face as I smiled evilly at her. "You're going to cause so much damage for me, you're going to be my pretty little tool. They'll never see it coming."

[notamistake]

I watched her carefully as she started playin' games with me again. Was this ever gonna get me anywhere? I was startin' to realize that it didn't matter if I played nice or if I played rough the outcome was always gonna be the same. She just wanted to fuck my little world up and she'd done a good job of that from the minute I got back from hell. Actually. From the minute I walked into hell. I'd come to Wolfram and Hart to help Soul Boy out. B and I weren't plannin' on bein' in L.A. for more than a couple of weeks and here we were, months later. If we'd left when we were supposed to maybe I wouldn't be dead.

Suddenly it was like some invisible wall pushin' me forward. Til I was pressed down to my knees in front of her and I couldn't even move. What the fuck was this shit? More magick crap? Gritting my teeth I just glanced up at her as she called me a tool, running her fingers through my hair. Petting me like...petting me like a kicked puppy. God damn it.

"Oh yeah?" I barely got out, tryin' so damn hard to not just spit in her face and tell her to go fuck herself. "So what do I get out of all this then? I'm not alive, I'm still dead. As far as I can tell? You can't offer me anything that's better than the hell you just dragged me out of. So why don't you do us both a favor and just send me back. Because I'm not hurtin' any of them just so you can get your rocks off."

We were back to playin' rough but it wasn't my fault that she was always pissin' me off. What'd she expect? You could only push me so far before I push back. What the fuck was I supposed to do?

[alyx_d]

I smirked down at her as she spat out her useless little words while her pretty little body was kneeling in front of me. Couldn't move. Couldn't fight back. She was lucky all I was doing was pinning her to her knees in front of me, I should be holding her skin in my hands right about now. Watching her bloody twitching corpse fall to the floor as she slowly went into shock before succumbing to heart failure. Instead here I was petting the pretty baby and smiling at her.

"I can't offer you anything that's better than the hell I just dragged you out of?" I repeated her statement and quirked a brow at her, my back leaning against the frame of the chair I sat in. "Are you quite sure you feel confident with that statement? Was it not me who carried you dead and bloody from that bathtub? Was it not me who pleaded with the Senior Partners to spare you? Then... it must have been me playing God in your Hell."

I smiled at her and a flash of amusement danced wickedly behind my eyes, she really thought she could just lip off and throw around words in attempt to win? She didn't realize how much my puppet she was, but she would soon. Very, very soon. I stood up and pushed my chair back before releasing the hold I had on her, watching as she spilled forward to her hands. I leaned against my desk with my arms crossed waiting for her to come around and attack me again or something just as useless.

"I could send you back to that lovely little Hell I designed for you, but are you really up for reliving being raped and beaten by every man your Mother ever brought home? I mean no big if you'd rather do that than stay at my place with me, entertain me a little and help me out here and there." I shrugged and picked up the folder with her name printed on the front, clicking my pen and moving the tip to write in her file. "I can offer you anything Faith, they can't offer you anything anymore. It's time they realize that they can't win and you're going to help me with that, aren't you?"

[notamistake]

I turned my face towards the floor when she started goin' on about all the shit she did. Carried my dead body from that bathtub? So that was....right. I already knew that. How he'd left me for B to find in our own fucking apartment. I didn't wanna think about that. Yeah, the Senior Partners begging for my life thing kinda threw me for a loop but I never knew when Alyx was bein' straight up and when she was just playin' me. It wasn't until she mentioned playing God in my hell that I lifted up my chin and met her eyes. God?

Before I could even process that the invisible wall finally let me go and I flung forward onto my hands. I didn't even move from where I was on the ground when she started talkin' circles around me. She designed my hell and I knew she was tellin' the truth as soon as she started to describe it. It wasn't enough to control me here she had to control me while I was dead too. Why me? Why did Alyx walk into this place, check out all it had to offer and decide on me?

"Yes." I hated myself the minute the word escaped from her lips but I knew from that second on that I was gonna help her. I was gonna betrayal all the people that used to give a shit about me to help someone who only wanted to destroy me since the minute she laid eyes on me. But anything had to be better than going back to a hell that she designed for me personally, and it didn't matter what I did. She had already won. Why should I even bother fighting anymore?

Finally I stood back up to my feet and walked over to the window before gazing out over the cityscape again, a blanket of silence falling over the two of us. I was right before when I said I didn't belong there. I wasn't evne breathing anymore, and free will? Well, that had just gone right out the window.

I didn't wanna face them. Not ever. I could play along with Alyx but when it came to seeing Buffy or Angel again my entire body froze. They had probably already forgotten about me. That was their habit when I was gone for long periods of time. Well, maybe not Angel. Or maybe. Nothing made sense to me anymore.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked her quietly, my eyes were still drawn to the landscape below, my back turned to her but I could hear her from somewhere behind me.

[alyx_d]

I smiled and set the folder down and watched her walk to the windows and stare out, maybe longing for what was. Maybe wishing she'd stayed in Rome like a good little girl, maybe a lot of things but I didn't care. I never did. Only thing I did care about was the fact she was my fucking pawn and she was going to do whatever it was I wanted her to do or else. I stood up and walked over toward her as she asked me what I wanted her to do.

"I have a plethora of things I want you to do Faith, but since you've been such a good little bitch I'm going to be nice." I turned her around to face me and smiled slightly at her, not a nice smile but one of wickedness and promises of future dealings. I dangled a set of keys in front of her. "These keys are for you. One goes to a Mustang down in the garage, it's yours. One goes to my front door, it's yours. The other goes to the cage I've moved in the basement, if you ever should decide to be uncooperative? Well then you can lock yourself up before I have to, makes things way easier on you."

I took her wrist and forced her hand out dropping the keys into them with a smile and curling her fingers around them. I patted her hand and stepped back toward my desk pulling out a few files before turning back to her.

"These files are files of all your little friends, every good and every evil they've ever done from childbirth on. I want you to read them. I want you to memorize them. I'll be home later tonight and we'll have our first little lesson, sound good?" I smiled and winked at her before stepping closer to her and leaning in to whisper. "Oh and if you decide to try to oh I dunno, escape? You'll fail. I know you're every move. I know where you are every waking second of your life. I will find you. I will punish you. Promise. You're mine and the sooner you get used to it? The better." I let my hand wander along her back before affectionately patting her ass before moving back and seating myself behind my desk.