(no subject)
Today was a very interesting day. My group home had volunteered at a soup kitchen downtown in Edmonton. At first I didnt want to go but then Darcy pulled this guilt trip on me, saying that I didnt have a heart , blah blah blah. So I went, at first I was a little scared. Scared of the people that I might see and then feel extremely sorry for them, and then end up taking them home. It went along ok, I saw a couple of little kids there, which was sort of odd. I helped out here and there, picking people's bowls up, etc. Then as I was standing by the side this old man with a cane comes up to me, "Ma'am did you hear what he just said?" I listened closely to Carl, who was running this program. "Uh...something about helping out with garbage..." "Oh, I can't do that, I'm sorry, I mean I am really sorry." "Oh its okay, really it is." He then went on his way to whatever table he was sitting at. I thought nothing of it. I went on with my business. Then the same old man came to me, "Can you get me a cup of coffee, I'll pay you?", I look at the endless line, "Uh, sure I can but you don't have to pay me." So I went and just cut through line thinking I was the shit because I'm a volunteer and do whatever I want, lol. Brought back his coffee and he still ended up paying me a dollar. He then thanked me and told me that I was a very nice person, and then out of no where he told me that I was gorgeous. I blushed so bad I just said thanks and walked away. But as I was walking back to the kitchen I thought about him being all lonely, even though I saw a wedding ring, he just seemed lonely. I walked back to his table, and politely asked him for his name, you know for whenever I decided to pray I would pray for him. He then proceeded to give me his number and house address. He then made me promise that I would phone him. Or if he could call me. Now I was sort of getting a little creeped out. I just lied to him and said that I didnt have a number, smiled and walked away trying to surround myself with the group. I did a few more things like carrying bread back and forth to here and there. Then the old guy, named Jack Perez asked me to come help him get his food from the food bank that was located in the basement of the church. I panicked, "I'm sorry but I can't leave my group, I really wish that I could but theres nothing that I can do...sorry..." He just smiled and limped away. At this point I was thinking, "oh god, what is he trying to do to me?!" I tried to brush it off, but it just didnt seem to work. I couldnt decided whether if he was just some old perv or some old lonely person who wanted to reach out to me. That maybe I was supposed to meet him. I don't understand. What if he waits by the phone every day only to be disappointed that I didnt call. I don't know...
I just don't know.
I just don't know.