life
The following three thoughts have been bouncing around in my head lately. The last one being an Eddie Izzard quote and the other two being who knows what.
-I will stand and be counted, but I am not a number.
-I may be fucking with the future, but at least I don't rewrite the past.
-We're going to run out of cake at this rate.
Things IRL are, well, real. In fact, it doesn't get any more real than this. My life is completely different than it was back when I started this journal just a few years back. It's possible I'm finally bringing together every asset and talent I have to make one combined effort and contribution to something other than myself. I'm looking at personally being a part of changing how pharmacies operate. It's not remotely a sure thing, but it's far more likely than winning the lottery. The odds are there, it's just a matter of whether anyone else has thought of what I've thought of and is in a position to do it. Which is not likely because I'm a completely wild card element in the game I'm trying to play. Everything is out on the line for this one. I've lost track of how many times I was sure I was about to lose my mind since August.
I suppose that in terms of emotional turmoil things are very much the same as they were when I started this journal. But now all that pain and struggle is going towards something. And that's the basis of a healthy emotional life -- you exert and you hurt but it contributes to something greater, rinse, repeat. It's not ideal, but it's what I'm learning to except. I win either way with this approach because either a) this all happens and we get rich and I become a respected member of the scientific community, or b) this blows up in our face and I merely switch from buckling down to support the project to buckling down to keep the ship from sinking.
I hope all is well with you. I'm sorry I haven't read or commented in so long. It's impossible to find time to do certain things anymore.
-I will stand and be counted, but I am not a number.
-I may be fucking with the future, but at least I don't rewrite the past.
-We're going to run out of cake at this rate.
Things IRL are, well, real. In fact, it doesn't get any more real than this. My life is completely different than it was back when I started this journal just a few years back. It's possible I'm finally bringing together every asset and talent I have to make one combined effort and contribution to something other than myself. I'm looking at personally being a part of changing how pharmacies operate. It's not remotely a sure thing, but it's far more likely than winning the lottery. The odds are there, it's just a matter of whether anyone else has thought of what I've thought of and is in a position to do it. Which is not likely because I'm a completely wild card element in the game I'm trying to play. Everything is out on the line for this one. I've lost track of how many times I was sure I was about to lose my mind since August.
I suppose that in terms of emotional turmoil things are very much the same as they were when I started this journal. But now all that pain and struggle is going towards something. And that's the basis of a healthy emotional life -- you exert and you hurt but it contributes to something greater, rinse, repeat. It's not ideal, but it's what I'm learning to except. I win either way with this approach because either a) this all happens and we get rich and I become a respected member of the scientific community, or b) this blows up in our face and I merely switch from buckling down to support the project to buckling down to keep the ship from sinking.
I hope all is well with you. I'm sorry I haven't read or commented in so long. It's impossible to find time to do certain things anymore.