Men-o-pause....yay!!! (At 24...wha??)
So I had to go for an emergency visit to my doctor today. Lots of pain, too much pain. It hurt to stand, it hurt to sit, it hurt to walk, sleep, etc. Basically, if I was doing or trying to do something, it hurt like a bitch. About two months ago they told me that they would not prescribe painkillers for me. Today they changed their mind, after seeing me shaking and unable to walk correctly (I walked like I need one of those wheely walkers old people have.)
Then, my doctor tells me that treatment is not going as planned and apparently my endo is back with a vengeance (gee, ya think?). So, he is going to get lupron approved by my insurance and start giving me monthly injections to induce menopause for 6 months. I will also have to take hormones to try to reduces hot flashes and mood swings. While I am not a fan of this idea, it sounds considerably better than being in pain 3/4s of the time. He also said that it should last longer than my surgery did. Up to 2 years, which is better than the 5 months I had after the laparoscopy.
I am somewhat worried about this. My husband and I talked about it a while tonight and he said that he is concerned about when we will try to get pregnant. (Not soon, but later on in life.) He said that because I'd be at a greater risk for miscarriage and because it's already very difficult for me to get pregnant that he starting to wonder if we should just harbor some eggs(and get a surrogate) or choose adoption. He said he doesn't want me to have to deal with the pain of a miscarriage. He also made a very valid, but pointless point about having a hysterectomy. He said that if his balls were constantly in pain and they were able to remove them while ensuring he still looked the same, he'd do it in a heartbeat. They wouldn't remove my ovaries unless I had a mass that was difficult to remove or if I proved that I was unable to have kids even with IVF and fertility drugs. Also, I don't want that to happen. I WANT to get pregnant. I want to have a baby. Then, I started wondering why it would be such a big deal to me and not to my husband. Also, I know that if men had this problem, they would remove the testes in a heartbeat. Why?
1. Women are seen primarily (even these days) in the medical field as child bearers. The main concern is "reducing" pain while keeping the organs viable for reproduction.
2. There is this feeling that if you are unable to have children, you are less of a woman. This does exist in men as well, but it is easier to keep it hush-hush when it happens to a man since women are the ones who show signs of pregnancy.
3. Also, society dotes so much on pregnant women and there seems to be this idea of bonding with a child throughout pregnancy that it seems to be the best way to have children. Pregnant women get a lot of attention and people always smile at them and at the idea of birth. There is also the experience of having the child that women share as a type of bonding experience. These do not happen with adoption.
So, I don't know. I feel kind of lost right now. I can make up my mind about all of this whenever the time comes to have children. I do know that I want to try at least once to have a child naturally.
Oh, also, my husband is the sweetest. He's been taking really good care of me and the house. I had my family over on sunday and didn't completely finish cleaning up. Monday night he cleaned, then I noticed today that he put out my table runner, s&p shakers and the flowers on the table just like I like it. :) That made me happy b/c he typically doesn't care for table runners, but he did it b/c he knows I like it.
I think I've gone on enough.
Then, my doctor tells me that treatment is not going as planned and apparently my endo is back with a vengeance (gee, ya think?). So, he is going to get lupron approved by my insurance and start giving me monthly injections to induce menopause for 6 months. I will also have to take hormones to try to reduces hot flashes and mood swings. While I am not a fan of this idea, it sounds considerably better than being in pain 3/4s of the time. He also said that it should last longer than my surgery did. Up to 2 years, which is better than the 5 months I had after the laparoscopy.
I am somewhat worried about this. My husband and I talked about it a while tonight and he said that he is concerned about when we will try to get pregnant. (Not soon, but later on in life.) He said that because I'd be at a greater risk for miscarriage and because it's already very difficult for me to get pregnant that he starting to wonder if we should just harbor some eggs(and get a surrogate) or choose adoption. He said he doesn't want me to have to deal with the pain of a miscarriage. He also made a very valid, but pointless point about having a hysterectomy. He said that if his balls were constantly in pain and they were able to remove them while ensuring he still looked the same, he'd do it in a heartbeat. They wouldn't remove my ovaries unless I had a mass that was difficult to remove or if I proved that I was unable to have kids even with IVF and fertility drugs. Also, I don't want that to happen. I WANT to get pregnant. I want to have a baby. Then, I started wondering why it would be such a big deal to me and not to my husband. Also, I know that if men had this problem, they would remove the testes in a heartbeat. Why?
1. Women are seen primarily (even these days) in the medical field as child bearers. The main concern is "reducing" pain while keeping the organs viable for reproduction.
2. There is this feeling that if you are unable to have children, you are less of a woman. This does exist in men as well, but it is easier to keep it hush-hush when it happens to a man since women are the ones who show signs of pregnancy.
3. Also, society dotes so much on pregnant women and there seems to be this idea of bonding with a child throughout pregnancy that it seems to be the best way to have children. Pregnant women get a lot of attention and people always smile at them and at the idea of birth. There is also the experience of having the child that women share as a type of bonding experience. These do not happen with adoption.
So, I don't know. I feel kind of lost right now. I can make up my mind about all of this whenever the time comes to have children. I do know that I want to try at least once to have a child naturally.
Oh, also, my husband is the sweetest. He's been taking really good care of me and the house. I had my family over on sunday and didn't completely finish cleaning up. Monday night he cleaned, then I noticed today that he put out my table runner, s&p shakers and the flowers on the table just like I like it. :) That made me happy b/c he typically doesn't care for table runners, but he did it b/c he knows I like it.
I think I've gone on enough.