Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed ; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41:10, 13

I was going to make an angry call today demanding what sort of monster would destroy a library. Really, all those books...

However, recent, er,  events call for a change of plan.

There will be blood spilled regardless of our choice, correct? Mr. Shekhehem will see to it.

So... in regards to his recent proposal... well. There are several of us here ( Read more... )

 We all know the fog is dangerous. We all know the creatures it produces only appear to affect those who venture outdoors.  We've all heard the warnings others have so thoughtfully sent out.

And yet I am absolutely certain that half the town will be out there engaging in pointless and dangerous battles. If not today, then tomorrow or the next - ( Read more... )

[Aziraphale had dropped his teacup when he noticed it. This was a Very Big Deal, as he didn't make a habit of dropping things, particularly not breakable things. But this? This was definitely worthy of a teacup drop.

He'd headed into the kitchen, intent on refilling said cup, when he'd noticed that blasted zombie setting up a basket of fruit. And ( Read more... )

Has anyone ever bothered taking a census? I, for one, would be very interested in the results. We're all from different eras, countries, and even worlds. Exact numbers on these things would be fascinating, don't you think?

[He paused, as though he was finished, but then something else occurred to him and he quickly spoke up again.]

Oh, yes. I'd also ( Read more... )

I think it goes without saying that we're all surprised to learn the identities of the housekeepers here so I shall spare you my shock.

I'm only calling because I want to remind all of you to wash all fruits and vegetables thoroughly before eating them.

... And it probably wouldn't hurt to sanitize everything else in your home after those... people ( Read more... )

[Aziraphale had been spending most of his time attempting research with what little resources he had. He'd listened carefully to phone calls, read blog posts, and so on, and he'd even gone so far as to read the phonebook in case it held any secrets. The only thing he'd figured out so far is that his real name was written out quite plainly at the ( Read more... )

[And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.

Aziraphale was terribly unsettled by this place. Something was not right.]

Tell me, how many of you remember dying before your arrival here?

[Aziraphale had never been one for technology, and he wasn't a phone type. However, when he found the sleek little device marked "UrPhone," he decided that it might just be his only way of figuring out where on earth he was.

But first he had to find out how it actually worked. As he inspected it, he accidentally hit the "call" button without ( Read more... )