(Untitled)

[hellomyimmortal]

he won't even look at me anymore...i still don't understand what happened and i probably never will. it just hurts so bad, you don't even know. what went wrong? was it something i said? something i did? i can't ever talk to him, but i try so hard. people scoff at me, "with no communication, did you really think you had a chance? you know he has a

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[introversional]

Hihi
You are right
I wasn't trying to scoff at you during Anaheim when we were talking about it, it's just sad to see you sad :(
I know you know all this but I'm saying it anyway because it's all I know so far in my life experience, too
HIGH SCHOOL IS HARD
I know, I know, cliche, cliche, cliche, it's probably not true, you say
But I think it is
LIFE IS JUST AS HARD
But by the time we live the peril-filled hallways of high school, we will be so much better equipped and ready for all the crap anyway
AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT BEING SUICIDAL BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE AWAY FROM THAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE, AND, YES, DEATH IS EASIER THAN LIFE
BUT DON'T GIVE UP YET BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR
I know that sounds incredibly cheesy, but there are so many places to go and people to meet and sensations to feel and experiences to experience that we haven't yet discovered because we're only fifteen years old
There is happiness we haven't even imagined yet
And one day you will get married to someone you probably don't know yet but when you do he will be your dream man
And who knows, maybe you will marry you-know-who and it will be everything you ever dreamed of...but it's not probable and that's not because of the way you look or dress or act because you're funny and beautiful and fashionable
And no I'm not just saying that
BECAUSE YOU ARE
Something that I learned recently...so I don't think I'm bad-looking or anything, other people might, but I don't really and I was wondering if I'm not ugly then why don't I have a boy?
You know that thought, I'm sure
The answer is, it doesn't matter!
High school is clearly about looks
Everyone hates Chloe because her hair looks bad -- she's a nice person, but no one ever mentions that
Everyone hates Katherine because she dresses differently -- she's nice, too, she may have a slight case of BO, non-showering and blatant nakedness which is a little disgusting, but she is, nonetheless nice
etc., etc.
There are people in choir who I don't particularlylike (who may or may not have bad tone) but who are very popular because of their good looks
It's crap
CRAP
CRAP
CRAP
And you shouldn't believe it because I believe that sooner or later everyone finds love even if it is later or it doesn't last, at least you get that moment of happiness in your life
And that's what you have to look forward to
And that's what you have to live for
And that's why you should want to wake up in the morning, knowing it is coming, one day

And for now, I have a few things to live by:
- DON'T LISTEN TO MY CRAP ATTITUDE AND COMPLAINING BECAUSE I AM CLEARLY AN ASSHOLE TO BE IGNORED (soooo sorry about the stairs things today...wtf was my problem?...who knows, die)
- ENJOY LIFE
- DON'T THINK THAT PEOPLE IN CHOIR LIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE IN YOUR SECTION HATE YOU, BECAUSE THEY DON'T
- FANTASIZE ABOUT BB. A LOT. BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HAPPY
- PRETEND YOU ARE OUR IDOL. BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF HER MAKES US GIGGLE LIKE MANIACAL IDIOTS.
- LISTEN TO FRICKIN' BARNEY SONGS. THEY ARE JOLLY AND HAPPY AND GAY.
- FIND YOUR PASSION AND STICK TO IT. IT MAY BE SINGING. DON'T LET YOUR PARENTS GET IN THE WAY. SOMETIMES DEFIANCE IS RIGHT.
- LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE
- And, sweet Christ, I hate when people say this but it is a good motto...LIVE LIKE YOU WERE BLOODY DYING

Thanks
I love you
Keep your head up
Sorry I'm an asshole
You are amazing and have developed so much since I met you, you are so witty now and just fun to be around (not that you weren't before...)
TE FRICKIN ENCANTA
♥