(no subject)

[hellojuly]

so today i was waiting in the line at giant eagle and i was just noticing how especially artificial and assembly line-ish this particular line was at this particular moment, something that would normally just amuse me in that "god how stupid it is being in such a scripted american materialistic culture" kind of way, but for some unknown reason, tonight i instead started feeling like i was having an anxiety attack. my heart started racing and i just felt disgusted and sad and angry and scared, like i had to get out of that line. i just kind of stood there for a minute in some kind of shock like what the hell is happening. this kind of thing has been happening a lot lately, and im not quite sure why. this time was the most severe i think, but i have this overbearing sense of worry lately. its freaking me out. like all of a sudden out of no where i will just start feeling like there is something i should be doing, something im forgetting, but there is nothing really, i am just feeling all of those symptoms. i mean i don't think that it is actually an anxiety disorder or anything. well i guess it could be, but it would have to get a lot worse in order for me to think that.

on a lighter note, last night tina and i decorated our door with a ghost and it is holding an orange and black construction paper chain (i love making those) and i made a big gravestone that says R.I.P. on it and it even has orange spider web with a spider on it and we carved david bowie into a pumpkin and it actually looks good except for his giant hair looks kinda weird and tina got the new shins album and its is really good and well, i think that is it.

i really need to go to bed.