why do I get all the weird boyfriends!?
This situation is so sick.. I don't wanna be the baby-sitter girlfriend : I need someone that makes me feel good and important for him. I know it may sound kinda selfish, but why do i have to deal with someone that says:" I feel so confused and insecure,so oppressed by every situation. I feel like i'm not living anything but that it is someone else doing it instead of me." And I'm like WTF? Apparently it's not my fault. I think that if you feel like that there has to be a reason... but i haven't found that one out yet! I am being so sympathetic and comprehensive.. it's rediculous... Maybe I should just get mad at him, and he might realize that he's not the only one in the planet having problems and that maybe he should stop whining about it. It's obvious that he makes me feel uncomfortable when he's in a bad mood. But he can't just be like that and then apologize for being a jerk to me. I don't know.. I never felt the way he says he feels (except when I was really stoned..) But he doesn't smoke so I don't think that that's the case.. haha.. I can't believe that I felt like i was in a fairy tale for 2 weeks with him and then he turned more and more into this paranoid boy. And I didn't know him before, so I really don't know if this is just the way he is or if it's something temporary. It happens also that the more he's this way, the less i like him. So i wonder what I should do. I really want to help him.. if that's what he needs. Or is he fucking testing me to see how much i am good-hearted and patient... eh I don't think so.. I just want him to feel good and happy. Also i want him to make me feel special and beautiful. I don't think that's asking a lot to a boyfriend. Ok enough with that.. This is what I found coming back to Italy.. I miss you guys!! It was awesome seeing you all again!